Extreme Makeover: Lester Addition

This was my second time on the West Coast. Right now we were in Los Angeles, California, looking for a woman named Joney Henderson, wanted for murdering her husband. We were in a really nice fancy shmancy hotel in the downtown area, but this time Lester and I were sharing a room. Ranger, Tank, Jordan, and Vince were there, going over the game plan for tonight. They needed two people to stay at the hotel, because this was the one Henderson was last seen at and is suspected of renting a room here. We already checked at the front desk, but no one by the name of Henderson had checked in. Still, it didn't hurt to be careful. The two people who volunteered to stay were me and Lester. The rest of them were going out to find a crazy woman.

"Why'd she kill the bastard, again?" I asked Ranger.

"He cheated on her with her arch enemy, stole all her money, beat her to a pulp, and left her for dead in a dumpster," Ranger answered wryly.

I winced. "Well don't go too hard on her; at least the guy deserved it."

Ranger smiled and left, followed by Tank, Vince, Bobby, and Jordan.

I turned to Lester. "Shouldn't we be down in the lobby, waiting for Joney?" I asked.

"The hotel manager didn't want us hanging around and scaring guests so he asked one of the ladies working at the desk to call us if they see Henderson."

"So basically we aren't really doing any work tonight?"

Lester leaned back on the bed. "Basically."

I watched TV with Lester for a while. And when that got boring, we played some cards. And then when that got boring, Lester suggested we order some food. I wholeheartedly agreed. To tell you the truth, I was a little apprehensive about being alone with him. Not that I didn't trust him, because I did. It was just that we were so close in age and he was just so gorgeous, that one of us might do something stupid, so I kept my distance. Plus, I was still a virgin and didn't aim on losing that yet.

"Christ on a moped, Jamie," Lester said to me, using one of my expressions, "Do I have some contagious disease or something?"

I guess he noticed I wasn't staying in close proximity. "Ah..well, to tell you the truth, Nessie, you do smell." Nessie was a name Tank came up with when we were in Scotland last summer. And Lester didn't really smell, I was just too shy to admit that I was a little nervous around him.

"Uh hunh. So tell me, Jelly Bean, how far have you gone?"

Hmm…not the conversation I wanted to get into to. When in doubt, play stupid. "What do you mean? Like, miles? Kilometers?"

Lester looked at me like I was stupid. Guess my plan worked. "You know what I mean, smartass."

I gave him a dumb blonde look.

He snorted but humored me. "I meant how far have you gone, base-wise," he said, leering at me.

"Oooh I get what you mean now, Lester. Hell, I've gotten all the way home."

He raised an eyebrow. "Ranger said you were a virgin."

I gave him a what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about look. "What has my virginity got anything to do with baseball?"

He shook his head and sighed. "You're hopeless."

"What are you talking about?" I said incredulously, "I played softball when I was a kid and hit plenty of homeruns, my friend."

"Fine then. How far have you let a guy go without slapping him?"

Hm. There were many ways to get out of that one, but I was tired of this little game, so I answered honestly. "You don't want to know. It's seriously pathetic."

Lester grinned at me from his bed. I was sitting on the other bed. "Now we're getting somewhere, Jelly Bean. Tell me."

"No. You'll laugh."

"I promise I won't."

"Yeah right."

"If I do then you can duct-tape me to a chair and put makeup on me."

I narrowed me eyes at him. "Deal."

We shook on it, and I sighed and flopped down onto the bed. "Do I have to?" I asked, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yes."

I covered my eyes with my arm. "Not much past first base," I mumbled.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that," Lester said. I could sense the grin in his voice.

"Not much past first base," I repeated.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Really?"

I could hear the laughter in his voice. I sighed. "Really. And you're laughing, so I get to give you a makeover." I sat up and looked over at Lester. He was smiling broadly. I guess he wasn't expecting that. I mean, I was alsmost nineteen.

We locked eyes for a beat, and suddenly Lester lost it. He started laughing so hard he fell off the bed. Oh no he di-int. I stood up and rummaged through Lester's duffel bag. I found a roll of duct-tape and came toward Lester. He tried to fight me off but he was laughing too hard, so I got him hauled into a chair. And let me tell you, that was no easy feat.

When I was done securing him to the chair, I sat on his lap and glared at him. "See? I told you I was pathetic. And I told you you'd laugh."

Lester squashed his laugh. "I'm sorry, Jamie, I didn't mean to laugh. And it's really not that pathetic."

I snorted and got off of him. I turned, crossed my arms over my chest, and looked at him.

Lester looked me up and down. "But honestly, how could a hottie like you not have gone further than first?"

I rolled my eyes. We sounded like highschoolers. This was stupid. "All my boyfriends cheated on me. That's the short version. Now, let's talk about your makeover."

Lester's eyes widened. "You aren't actually serious, are you? I didn't mean to laugh, I swear, and I apologized."

I shook my head and ambled into the bathroom. "Sorry, Nessie," I called over my shoulder, "that was the agreement."

I heard Lester swear and knew he was trying to get out of his bonds. It wasn't going to be easy. Ranger had taught me how to effectively duct-tape someone to a chair and not have to worry about the person escaping. I smiled to myself. This was going to be fun.

I dug through my messenger bag for all the makeup I owned. I pulled out foundation, eye shadow, mascara, lip gloss, lipsticks of assorted colors, eye liner, nail polish of assorted colors, and perfume. I lugged it all back into the main room and dumped the load on the small table. Lester was glaring at me.

I glanced at him while I was arranging the makeup on the table. "Hey buddy, it was your idea. Don't make a bet if you can't follow through."

I squeezed some foundation on my hands and rubbed it all over Lester's face, grinning the whole time. Lester just did the death-glare thing. I lined his eyes with much difficulty. He kept blinking, which kept messing me up.

"Goddammit man, would you stop blinking!" I yelled at him.

He just blinked some more. "Well sorry, it feels like you're poking my eye out!"

Ten minutes later his eyes were sufficiently lined. I applied mascara and stood back, hands on hips, head cocked to one side.

I ginned at him. "You look hot," I said, "Guys wearing eyeliner is hot."

More death glares. I laughed and grabbed the three eye shadows that I had. Purple, blue, and a soft pink. I held them up for Lester. "Which one?" I asked.

He didn't reply, so I picked blue. It went the best with his tan skin.

I was sitting on his lap, applying lipstick when I heard the door open. I heard Tank and Ranger talking to each other, but then the talking abruptly stopped. I turned my head and looked at Tank and Ranger, whose jaws were on the floor by now. I laughed out loud. Lester's cheeks flushed and he glared even more intensely, if that was possible.

Ranger and Tank walked slow circles around Lester. They were both grinning ear-to-ear. "Jeezus, Jamie, how'd you pull this off?" Ranger asked me.

I smiled, putting the finishing touches on Lester's dark red lipstick. "We made a deal. I answered a question, he laughed, I got to give him a makeover."

Ranger and Tank cracked up. I pulled my Polaroid camera out of my bag and snapped a photo. It popped out of the camera, and I shook it until the picture appeared. There was Lester, shooting death glares at the camera, and Ranger and Tank in the background laughing their heads off. I stuck the picture and camera in my bag and turned back to Ranger and Tank.

"Where are the rest of the Merry Men?" I asked.

"They took Henderson to the station," Tank said.

"Ah. Was she easy to take down?"

Tank snorted. "Hell no, she scratched the shit out of my arm." He held up his arm and lo and behold, it was covered in white scratch marks.

"Ouch," I said.

Tank looked at Lester. "It looks like you two had fun."

I grinned. "Yeah and maybe I could do the same to you two?"

"Fuck no," Ranger and Tank said at the same time.

I stepped closer to Ranger and started tugging at the leather tie that held his hair back. "Can't I do something to your hair? Believe me, I would pick Tank except that he's got no hair."

Ranger swatted at my hand. "No, Jamie,"

I gave him the puppy-eyes look. "Pleeease?"

"No."

"I'll pay you."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "How much?"

"Umm…twenty bucks."

Ranger laughed. "I won't take anything lower than one hundred."

Hmm... "Fine," I said, "Then I'll pay you one hundred and one."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yuppity doo-dah."

He considered me for a moment. "Fine," he said finally.

SWEET.

I ran into the bathroom and took stock of supplies. I dug through drawers and cabinets, looking for hair gel or something. Finally I found the jackpot. A curling iron.

"YES!" I yelled, jumping into the hair. I bounced into the main room where Ranger and Tank were talking to Lester, still duct-taped to the chair.

"TA DA!" I said, holding the curling iron triumphantly.

Ranger looked at me. "No fucking way, Jamie," he said.

I glared at him. "I told you I'd pay you, Ricky! Now sit still."

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It took me an hour to sufficiently curl his hair. Tank had freed Lester at this point, and Lester had washed all the makeup off. He'd have to live with the toe and nail polish for a while, though, because I didn't have any nail polish remover.

I stepped back from Ranger, who's hair was as curly as mine now.

"How do I look?" Ranger asked, sliding his fingers through it. I grinned and snapped a picture of him. I shook the picture until appeared, and handed it to Ranger.

"Nice," Ranger said, "When will it straighten out again?"

"When you wash it," I said, and returned the curling iron to the bathroom.

Ranger and Tank left for their room shortly after that. It was pretty late, and I was pretty pooped from so much making-over. I changed out of my jeans into a pair of Care Bear boxers and lay down under the covers of my bed and looked over at Lester, who was watching TV.

"Turn off the TV," I mumbled, pulling the covers over my head.

"In a minute, I want to see who wins."

I sighed, stood up, and shuffled across the room, and shut the TV off. I shuffled over to Lester, who was looking at me indignantly, and yanked the remote out of his hand. Then I flopped back down on my bed, the remote tucked safely in my boxers.

"That was rude," Lester said.

"Deal with it," I said, and then I went to sleep.

The marvolous End.