I wake up and have a bad headache. Ugh, I do not drink that often anymore. I go to my bag and find my phone to check the time. It's 10:05am. "Oh shit. Oh shit…" I say aloud.
"What? House asks calm as a cucumber
"Its 10:05, I'm late" I exclaim. "Aren't you late too?"
"Technically yes, But I usually don't walk in until 10 anyway… any earlier and people get concerned" he says
"Well I hate being late… I hate being late for being early, can we leave please" I ask. I am clearly anxious. He calmly walks over and stands in front of me. "It's fine, if Cuddy gives you anything I'll deal with her" he says reassuring me. "Take your meds"
"Ugh, I know ok…" I say as he swallows a dose of Vicodin. We head out the door for the hospital.
We arrive at the hospital and I run off to get to the office. I open the door and slap paint on my hands and smear some on my face. Moments after, Dr Cuddy walks in. "How is it going" she asks.
"Oh I'm doing great, starting to slap the paint on to get some form" I reply
"Great, keep it up" she says leaving. I'm still breathing relatively fast from running up here, glad she didn't notice. I feel a sudden urge of anxiety, and I still can't catch my breath. I sit down on the office chair and try to relax. Just then House walks in looking at me. "I'm fine" I say trying to get my breathing under control. I nod yes.
"Your hands are shaking" he says walking up to me.
"I know it's just an anxiety attack… just have to wait it out" I say
"What triggered it" he asks checking my pulse.
"Um well, being late and getting in here and paint covered seconds before Cuddy walked in" I say
"Nice, lying to the boss" he says. I look at him horrified. "Ok. Breath in for four seconds" I do "now hold it for seven and exhale for eight seconds. Repeat as necessary" he says. I do this three times and start to feel better; I can breathe normally again. "Thank you, sorry…" I say
"Why are you sorry" he asks
"Well I usually try to keep all of this to myself, I hate people seeing me like that" I say "It's embarrassing".
"Hmm. That's understandable. That's why you waited to get help for so long" he asks
"Yeah, usually I'm told to just relax. People don't get it" I get up and start to squeeze paint on my plastic palette. I feel him looking at me. "What" I say as I start to paint. "Is it usual for you to just go back to normal when you have an attack like that" he asks
"Yeah" I say, I tighten my lips. Just then Dr Wilson walks in. He looks at me and I remember what happened last night. "Oh shit. Sorry about last night I—"I say but he cuts me off "No it's fine. I'm not used to House having guests… I shouldn't have come in" he says. I blush, and look at House. "I'd do it again… sober" I add. House looks at me and then at Wilson, smiling. I laugh as I begin to paint the keys of the piano. "Looks like you found the one obscenely younger than Cuddy, huh" Wilson says to House. He laughs and looks at me, Wilson leaves the room.
"Did you tell him about me? He can't look me in the eye" I say
"Why would I tell him about how easy you were, He'd try to steal you from me" he replies. I open my mouth with a gasp, and then laugh.
"Oh stop, Guys talk… I know it" I say
"He doesn't know anything" he says. I laugh and go back to my painting "Ok" I say
He walks into the next room and begins talking to his crew. I look into the next room as I hear the glass door close behind him. I watch him walk to the easel. I watch how he writes down symptoms; how he thinks while the team banters and his sarcastic remarks to their guesses. The way he looks at the board wracking his brain. I watch him; order his staff to run tests. As they walk out of the room to get to work he looks up and notices me starring. He doesn't break our stare but I do, quickly looking back at my second canvas. He walks in the room; I hear the door open and close. He walks in and asks "Anything on your mind"
"Hmm, um yeah kinda…" I say and he looks back at me lifting his head in question. I smile and rub my neck looking at him.
"Well…" he says
"Well… I think you know. I was looking at you, in your zone. I don't know, just got me thinking about the other night; watching someone do what feeds their soul turns me on" I say smiling at him biting my lip. I walk over to him slowly until I am in front of him. I touch his hand and drag him to his desk.
"What are you doing" he asks
"Shhh" I put my finger to my lips and gently push him into his office chair. I kiss him and he kisses me back. "Want me to stop" I ask softly, kissing his neck and undoing his belt.
"Hell no, this has to be every guys fantasy" he says. I laugh and unzip his pants. I back up under his desk and drag the chair closer. I lick my lips and grab onto him…
We are both having a good ole time when I hear the door open. Someone walks in and I stop. I look up to him and he puts his hand on mine and inches closer. It's only Wilson… He is talking but I can't really hear about what; I'm too distracted. I'm surprised he can talk so normally right now. Wilson walks up to the desk and House pushes the chair in more, accidentally forcing himself in my mouth deeper than my body would like. I gag but recover quickly. They are both silent, and I grab his thigh. "Are you serious" Wilson says.
"No…" House says sarcastically "What are you talking about". Wilson scoffs then whispers "Right now" he scoffs again.
"Don't you cane cancer kids to see" House says. Wilson gets up and walks to the door. He opens it and he must have turned around to see my feet under the desk. He scoffs again and walks out. He finishes and I put his chair back and wipe my mouth and get up and walk back to my canvas. He laughs "You don't want to cuddle"
"I'm sorry… I don't usually –"I say, but he interrupts me
"Don't want to care. Want to keep some distance to be sure you don't get hurt again…" he says
"Ok, so you get it" I say mixing colors. He looks at me then gets up and walks out the door.
I stand back to look at the canvas and the loose outlines of a guitar. I set my brush down and wipe my hands with a rag. As I turn around to head down to the cafeteria for lunch, Wilson walks in. "I'll come back later, House isn't her" Wilson says.
"Oh. Um actually" I begin "I was wondering if we could talk, you hungry I was just heading to the cafeteria"
We walk to the elevator and wait in silence as we move down. The door opens and we walk to the cafeteria and get in line to get food, once we get our food we sit down to talk.
"So… I'm sure you are aware of House and me" I say. He clears his throat "Umm yeah" he says "Is it serious" he then asks. "Well, that is kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, I'm not sure" I say. We sit and eat for a bit, thinking of what I should say next.
"I… I just feel good when I am with him. Like calm, it feels easy when I am around him if that makes sense". He looks at me while he chews. "Well, I'm not sure about him but if this is really how you feel you can see what happens or you can tell him. But if you tell him, you have got to be sure because, I'm not sure he can handle another breakup" he says
"Ok, I know how I probably look to you. Just another easy lay, but honestly I wouldn't be working here doing what I love if it wasn't for House. He has helped me. I know he is hurting, and I am too. He needs someone 100% for him, other than you, and I would love to be that person" I say
"You just… have to be sure" he says
"I know. I don't break hearts, I get the broken heart" I say wiping my hands with a napkin.
I return to the office and look at my painting's skeleton. I am happy with it so far. I get a new canvas and some tape and section off three different sections, I wanna try something different. I start to paint the outer sections two colors, each color diagonal to the same color. The door opens and House walks in. "That's my guitar" he says looking at my first canvas. I laugh softly "Yeah it is" I continue painting the new canvas. "Have plans later" he asks. "Um nope" I say
"Into monster trucks" he asks
"Hell yes" I exclaim
"You have plans now" he says and he walks into the next room with his team waiting around the table. I follow him with my eyes as he walks away and I smile. I have plans tonight.
We walk out of the event with the food we bought. "That was awesome" I exclaim
"Are you gonna eat that" he asks pointing at my half eaten hot dog. I hand it to him and as he goes to take a bite, I do, looking right into his eyes. He laughs "Hey, no give backs" he says and I laugh with a mouth full. He laughs back and eats the last bite. "What now" I ask. "My place" he suggests "Ok" I say as I put on a helmet as her starts the engine and we are on our way.
