Disclaimer: I own nothing I just pretend.

A/N: okay it took me forever to finish this so please like it...lol...and sends reviews.

Chapter 4

Rory had been gone for three weeks now and Lorelai missed her like crazy. She was desperately trying to forget the last words they words they'd shared but these amongst other things weren't seeming to want to go away. She was trying hard to keep busy to help her forget or at least keep her mind off it. The last time she was pregnant she had loads of energy like extra energy on top of her already fired up rocket of a personality, but this time she tired and sick all the time, she wasn't sixteen. Her shift was about to end at the Inn and Tobin had already gotten there but she didn't want to leave. She didn't want to go home to an empty quiet house without Rory…alone. There was no Friday night diner since Emily and Richard were in Martha's vineyard which Lorelai couldn't express her feelings about. She got in the car and started toward Hartford. There was lots of stuff to do around town but she wasn't in the mood. She passed by a Starbucks and pulled in to the parking lot failing to remember that she'd sworn off the stuff because as Rory put "gosh mom…don't you know your not supposed to have coffee when your pregnant." she wasn't supposed to. The recollection came to her as she was stepping out of the car.

"Uhggg!" she cried in frustration. And she stood there leaning against her car staring at the Starbucks thinking about how much it sucks to be Lorelai when it hit her. The reason she had no energy is that she decreased her coffee intake by like a billion times. This made her even madder, her hormones were already jumping around like the mad hatter from the Alice and wonderland 'unbirthday' teaparty.. She kicked her tire not knowing how badly it would hurt. A shot of pain shot through her foot. That was the final straw. She knew she was making herself nuts but that didn't stop her from going in that coffee shop and buying the largest coffee they had. She suddenly felt better like her heart was immediately jolted or rebooted. So she bought another one and went home and for the first time in two months she slept all night long.

She woke up the next morning rejuvenated, but it didn't last long because just five minutes after getting out of bed she was throwing up and not just a little bit. She told herself that she was just rebuilding her tolerance to Coffee and prayed that it wouldn't last for the next seven to eight months. She called the Inn and decided to take a sick day. She laid back on her bed after having a pointless conversation with Michele and put her face in her pillow. She wanted to someone to talk to but the only person who knew about her budding bundle of joy was Rory and Rory wouldn't speak to her. Lorelai felt alone so she decided to take the chance and call Rory.

"Hello." Rory said sheepishly like she'd just woken up. Lorelai remembered it was only seven. She'd only been up for half an hour but it seemed longer.

"Umm…hi Rory." Lorelai said.

"Umm. Hi." her voice became stiff when she realized who she was talking to.

"Yeah so what cha doin?" Lorelai asked trying to sound cheerful.

"I'm sleeping." she answered harshly.

"Oh. Right…sorry."

The phone went silent neither of them knew what to say. Rory was still insanely mad at her mother and all Lorelai wanted was her best friend.

"Yeah so I miss you…a lot." Lorelai noted.

"Uh huh." Rory replied.

"Are you having fun?"

"Uh huh?"

"okay…well that's good. Enjoy D.C."

"Yeah, okay."

"Well I got to get to the Inn." Lorelai lied.

"Kay. Bye."

"I love…." but it was too late Rory had already hung up the phone.

The days went by quickly after that. Lorelai only tried to call her two other times and got the same response from both so she gave up. She went to the doctor and went to the Inn but other than that she mostly stayed home.

It was almost the end of the summer. Rory Gilmore laid in her bed and thought about how she couldn't wait to get home. It was no secret that she missed her mom well then again it was a secret. She hadn't spoken to her in awhile. She remembered the way she acted when Lorelai tried to call her. She hated herself for being so infuriated that she couldn't even see how Lorelai was feeling? She hugged her pillow tightly and let a tear fall down her face. Her train of thought shifted she couldn't bear to replay that last scene in her head anymore. She started to remember why she had said what she said, a subject she'd been trying to put off all summer. She moved from laying on her side to laying on her back and stared up at the ceiling mesmerized by the way the fan moved round and round. As she watched the blades spin she drifted slowly from reality and was soon asleep.

It had been a long day and Rory was exhausted. She was alone in the room since Paris was comparing notes with Jamie down stairs. She concluded that now would be the perfect time to call and apologize to Lorelai. She pulled out her phone and called Lorelai's cell. It went strait to voice mail.

"Hi this is Lorelai Gilmore and you have reached my cell phone. Leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

beep,she decided no to leave a message but try her at the Inn.

"Independence Inn dis is Michel speaking,"

"Oh, hi Michel it's Rory. Is my mom there?"

"Um… no Lorelai took her vacation time and wont be back til next week."

"Oh, right sorry Michel."

"Well your not the first person to waste my time today, Au Revoir." he hung up the phone.

"Where is she?" Rory said out loud. As she tried one last number. The phone rung at the house but ultimately she got the answering machine.

"Hey, I've got nothing cute to say for my message. Ooh puppies! They're cute, now leave yours."

This scared Rory because there had never been a time when Rory could not get in touch with her mother. She didn't know what to do she was like 500 miles away. She picked her phone again and dialed a number she only used in case of emergencies.

"Luke's," she heard a familiar voice say. For a moment she felt relieved.

"Hey Luke it's Rory," she told him.

"Uh, hey Rory? What's up?"

"Nothing much its just uhh.. Have you seen my mom?"

"No not today."

"What about this week have you seen her this week Luke?" Rory asked almost hyperventilating.

"No, now that you mention it I don't think I have, hey Rory what's going on?" he asked becoming concerned.

"I…I don't know Luke she's not anywhere she wont answer her phone and she's not at the Inn and there was no answer at the house, and I'm sorry Luke I just didn't know who else to call…and I know you and mom aren't getting along right now but…,"

"Rory…Rory calm down, look why don't I just go over to the house and check on things for you."

"okay but call me as soon as you find her,"

"how about I have her call you,"

"Thank you Luke." she said her voice not sounding as panicked.

"sure."

They both hung up the phone and Rory sat back on her bed. To calm her nerves she decided to try writing Jess again.

The diner was about to close anyway so Luke went ahead and kicked Kirk out and locked up the diner. And got in his truck he would have gone faster than 50 miles an hour but it was after dark and raining. He pulled into Lorelai's driveway and as he stepped out of his truck he could hear the 80's music blasting. He walked around to the front porch and saw Lorelai the sight her surprised him. She had her tied back in a pony tail and she was wearing an over large t-shirt over shorts. The was a bunch of scraps laying across the floorboard of the porch. She had her sewing machine out but he really wasn't sure what she was making.

" I come home in the morning light, my mother says, when you gonna live your life right? Oh mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones, and they girls just a wanna have fun. Oh girls just want to have fun." She was singing along to the song oblivious to the fact that he was there. She continued to rock out, but he just stood there mesmerized by her…Lorelainess was the only was to describe it, her Lorelainess.

"Ah, Lorelai." he said after a moment. But the music was to loud. He decided to speak up though he didn't want to startle her.

" Lorelai," he said louder.

She gasped turning around to look at him. She threw her hand across her chest.

"Oh my god Luke, What are you doing here?" she asked. He started to say something but she stopped him. "Hold on give me a second for my heart to start back up." she said cutting off the radio.

"Lorelai where have you been?" he asked.

"What do you mean, I've been right here."

"Well people are worried about you so would it be to much to ask you to answer your phone?" Lorelai stood up and dashed into the house for a second whule he stood and listened to another chorus of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and then returned she with her phone in her hand.

"Oh my…twenty-two missed calls. I've only been out her a couple of hours." she said to Luke."

"Well your okay, so I got to go," he said coldly "Oh, and call Rory the poor kids in a panic."

She watched him get in his car and drive away knowing that nothing had changed. They still weren't speaking. She looked down at the tiny pink phone in her hands and called Rory.

"Mom…?" Rory asked hopefully.

"Yeah Rory it's me what's going on?"

"I am so sorry for what I said but I just miss you so much and I want to come home."

"Honey you'll be home on Friday."

"I know," Rory whined.

"Okay then I'll be right here when you get back, I'm not going anywhere." she said trying to sound comforting.

"Okay," Rory said. They both just sat on the phone for a long time, they didn't just say anything but the pleasure of having the other one right there was just as sweet.

"One day it occurred to me. Cows never wrinkle." Kirk said to Michele at the Inn. "Think about it, have you ever seen a wrinkled cow? No not once, so I thought to my self that is weird."

"Yes that and other things." Michele said.

"So I decided to do a little research, I studied cows, I studied humans and finally I discovered the secret the secret of the cows." he continued. At that moment Lorelai walked in from the back. She was wearing a pink dress that showed her early signs of approaching motherhood. She still hadn't told anyone but Rory who figured it out and Sookie. She walked into this weird conversation between Kirk and Michele.

"Michele could you.." she started but then saw Kirk "Uh hi." she was clearly looking for something.

"Oh good just in time" Michele said to her " Kirk here was just about to tell us the difference between cows and humans."

"You mean other than ones a cow?" she asked.

"Shhh go ahead Kirk" Michele said.

"Hay." Kirk said Both Lorelai and Michele looked at him confused.

"Huh?" she asked.

"Hay it hay cows eat hay. And after some experimentation and a great deal of research, I've developed what I believe to be the next great skin care product to sweep the nation."

"Hay there." Lorelai read aloud.

"it's a complete line of creams, balms, toning lotions, and cleansing liquids."

"Kirk we already have a skin care line here, sorry."

"I am willing to give three cases of 'Hay There' skin products completely free. Try the you will see what I'm talking about."

"Well oh thank you very much Kirk, but I'm sorry don't cows eat grass." Lorelai asked still completely thrown off by the conversation.

"sometimes but grass there is a bad name." Kirk walked away.

"So sad not to have a cocktail in your hand every time he comes by no." Michele said making Lorelai laugh. At that moment the phone began to ring.

"Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking."

"What day is this?" a familiar voice said into the phone.

"Mom?"

"What day is this?"

"Mom I have a group of.." Lorelai tried but Emily quickly cut her off.

"Its Thursday."

"Thank god." she blurted out quickly, "Now could I possibly…" Lorelai tried again but like before was cut off by her mother.

"Thursday the what?"

"Its…" she started

"Thursday the third." Emily said finishing her thought. "and what was happening Thursday the third Lorelai?"

"I believe it was the day I was supposed to chew my own head off." she joked.

"Your father and I were coming home from Martha's vineyard."

"Ahh I know you were."

"and you said when we got home you were going to call us."

"I know I did." she stated calmly.

"Well were home and yet there's no call, no message, no card."

"Mom!," Lorelai insisted "Its 11:00 In the morning. I said I would call you on Thursday I didn't say when on Thursday. I just said Thursday. Technically I haven't screwed up for another twelve hours."

" Lorelai everyone knows you are supposed to call people as soon as they arive home that's the polite way to do it."

"You didn't tell me what time you were coming home."

"You never asked what time we were coming home."

"Yes but you never told me so there is no way I could have known, so even though I didn't ask I didn't know and its only elev…" she stopped realizing this could go on for days. "I'm sorry."

"apology excepted, now I assume we will be seeing you and Rory for dinner tomorrow."

"Ah you'll see me but Rory doesn't get back til Saturday."

"Oh really what a shame I thought she was coming back tomorrow."

"Nope she coming back Saturday."

"Well I'm very disappointed, I had it written down for tomorrow." Emily said not wanting to let it go

"You must have written it down wrong mom, she's coming home Saturday."

" Your father thought it was tomorrow also."

"See you at seven," Lorelai was desperately trying to end this conversation before it took an unpleasant turn.

"Hold a second Lorelai, do you know where Christopher is?" the sound of his name caused her stomach to turn flips.

"Umm…why?"

"We wanted him to come with you and Rory tomorrow. Even though apparently Rory isn't getting back until Saturday though I could've sworn it was tomorrow."

"Christopher's away on business but I'll tell him you invited him." Lorelai lied.

" and tell him to come with you two next week. I want to see the three of you together."

"Yes that would be a nice picture." she said putting her hand over her expanding waist line.

"Alright see you tomorrow."

"Yes you will, bye.

She hung up the phone wondering what Christopher was really doing.

Back in D.C. Rory was spending her last day there helping Paris calm down for her date with Jamie. Paris was on complete meltdown mode. So Rory was doing her best to get her read for her fabulous evening.

On Friday Lorelai went shopping with Sookie 'man things' to fill Sookie's house with for Jackson. They were walking around the Kim's antique store and while Lorelai told Sookie about the conversation she had with her mother.

"How did you not tell them?"

"Well they left two weeks after your wedding and then they were in Martha's vineyard all summer it just seemed…quieter.

"Your going to have to tell them about you two you know," Sookie said " I mean they probably think you and Christopher are headed down the isle any day now."

"I know Sookie I'm going to tell them tonight it's just I don't know what to say."

"what do you mean?"

"You know about how he left me for Sherri because she's having his baby but then I have to turn right around and say Oh yeah by the way I'm having his baby too."

"You don't have to tell her that part."

"Yes I do she'll know."

"How will she know."

"Look at me Sookie I'm a walking Good Year blimp."

"You can barley even tell you've put on weight. I mean nobody knows" Sookie said not so convincingly.

"Sookie everyone knows." Lorelai pointed out. She knew she lived next door to one of the biggest Gossip Girls in town. "Everyone is talking about me Sookie and if they don't know they suspect because I just haven't confirmed it yet."

"Lorelai breathe."

"Okay look I got to go pick up Rory from the airport. Then we'll swing by and pick up you and Jackson for the festival."

"Kay."

"I'll tell them tonight I promise."

"Good girl."

Lorelai got in her jeep and drove to Hartford to pick up Rory. She was really early so she walked around the Gift Shop. She bought some stuff and then heard the anoucement that Rory's plane had landed.

"Hey Gilmore." Lorelai said when she saw her. She had been wondering for weeks how this moment would go, considering.

"Mom," Rory said running to her. She was happy that her mom wasn't mad at her. They in trapped each other in a hug and fell over laughing.

"I missed you."

"No I missed you."

"I'm never leaving home again."

"That's my emotionally stunted girl."

"Hey I got you gifts, oh and I got you out of Friday night diner so you can spend sometime with Dean." Lorelai said excitedly.

"What I was the one who left town I was supposed to bring you gifts."

Rory went through the bags looking at all the Hartford CT items. They finally picked up the stuff, and left. When they got home Rory went straight to her room to say hello to her stuff. And Lorelai checked the answering machine.

"Hey Lore its me please just call…"

She deleted the message before it was finished.

"Was that dad?" Rory asked coming into the living room.

"yeah."

"Still haven't talked to him yet huh?"

"no."

"Are you still …" Rory said motioning towards her mothers stomach area. She had spent the past months trying to avoid the subject of her future siblings and now she was the one bringing it up.

"Yes," Lorelai said slightly annoyed by the question.

"Oh," she sounded disappointed like maybe her mom had been wrong or mistaken or maybe had decided against having it.

"So are you gonna tell him?"

"Eventually, have you… talked to him."

"nope."

"He's called."

"I know he's called me too."

"I just I don't really know what to say."

"How long are you going to freeze him out for?"

"I don't know."

"right"

"you?"

"I don't know either."

"I have to tell my parents tonight."

"About the break up or the…" she couldn't bring herself to say the word baby.

"Both I guess," Lorelai said knowing what she was getting at.

"Oh, do you want me to go with you, I could distract them or something."

"No but thanks kid, I have to do this on my own. But hey listen I don't want you to freeze your dad out just because I am because if you want things can go right back to the way they were, they really can."

" I think that will be kind of hard this time."

"Yeah well."

"So for now it solidarity sister."

"Ya-ya." Lorelai said throwing her hands up in the air.

" you've been waiting six weeks to say that haven't you?"

"ya-ya" she said again. The two laughed and went on to the festival. They tried to stop on the way to get Sookie and Jackson but they were in the middle of a heated discussion so they continued on without them. At the festival Rory saw Jess for the first time since she'd kissed him at Sookie's wedding. He had his tounge happily shoved down another girls throught. The sight of this repulsed Rory when really it was just over the top insain jelousy, but after a few words with her mother she decided not to worry about him right now. Lorelai and Rory stayed together until Dean came and then Lorelai left for her Friday night dinner.

Friday night Dinner

Lorelai rung the doorbell and Emily answered and looked at her watch as she opened the door.

"Sorry I'm late mom," Lorelai said as she noticed this.

"Oh don't be sorry that's what the warm setting was invented for, she said with a touch of Sarcasm, " Richard Lorelai's here," she called to her husband in the other room.

"Mom before we sit down and get things going I wanna tell you something."

"Well tell me outside." Emily said trying to lead her daughter out to the patio.

"No I'll just do it here."

"Why?"

"There's just something about standing near the exit that's really working for me here."

"Your being silly, you don't discuss things standing by a door, now come outside come on."

"Emily I may have one more call to make tonight, Ben Stalin and I got cut of," Richard said walking into the room. "Hello Lorelai."

"Well come outside with us until he calls back, Lorelai is about to tell us something."

"Ahh…perhaps she has decided to buy and accurate time piece."

"Oh now Richard," Emily said laughing with him on the way out side.

Lorelai took a deep breath in. This is it she thought to her self.

"Is Rory okay?" her mother asked her.

"Rory's fine everything's fine it's really not that big a deal."

"What would you like to drink?" he father asked.

"Umm, whatever dad."

"I really cant read minds Lorelai,"

"Okay I'll have a Yeager mister and a Jell-O shot."

"Excuse me?"

"Water dad." She couldn't have alcoholic beverages anyway.

"Well sit down." Emily instructed. "Now go ahead tell us."

" Okay well…"

" Wait we brought you something from Martha's vineyard." Emily said handing Lorelai a pack of scone mix that Lorelai knew she'd never make.

"Now go."

"Well okay It's about Christopher."

"Speaking of which we got him a captain's hat, Richard where is that hat Lorelai can bring it to him."

"No I cant!" Lorelai interjected.

"Why not?"

"Well because it's just um…Chris and I aren't um" she said beginning to lose her nerve.

"Aren't what?" Richard asked not catching on.

"Their not together anymore Richard." Emily informed him.

"Why not?" he asked his daughter.

"I'm sure a vague reason is forth coming." Emily said.

"It just didn't work out that's all" Lorelai said trying to get around this and on to the bigger part.

"and there it is."

"I know your disappointed."

"Disappointed oh please." Emily said raising her voice to Lorelai. "Lorelai this is ridiculous you two aren't in high school anymore."

"I know." Lorelai said keeping her tone level. She had no idea how to say to them that she had made the exact same mistake she'd made almost eighteen years ago.

"Emily lets not talk about this." Richard said.

"No we are going to talk about it, your running around like you have no responsibility in life. Like you can flip from fling to fling…"

"That's not true." Lorelai cut in.

"man to man." Emily continued.

"I don't flip from man to man." Lorelai said in defense.

"You have a daughter, this affects Rory too you know."

"Emily your wasting your breath." Richard pressed.

"I know this affects Rory I'm not doing this lightly." Lorelai jumped in again.

"In fact I'm not doing anything at all."

"There is no reason for you to raise your voice." Richard said to Lorelai.

" I cant believe this."

"I want to know why, I want a reason, I don't want any of this just because , it just didn't work out nonsense. I want a legitimate solid adult reason why the father of my granddaughter and her mother cant seem to put a family together." Emily demanded.

"His girlfriend is pregnant."

"What?"

"Yes mom Sherri is pregnant and when Christopher found out he went back to her and that mother is the reason why. Lorelai said letting her anger get the best of her.

"Is he going to marry her?" Emily asked.

"I don't know probably."

"Well of course he is." Richard said smugly. "It the right thing to do in a situation like this and Christopher always tries to do the right thing."

This pushed Lorelai to the edge she grabbed her scones and her purse and got up to leave.

"Lorelai why are you getting so upset.?" Emily asked following her.

Lorelai turned around and looked at them both knowing she couldn't keep it secret any longer.

"Because mom,… I'm pregnant too."

Emily's face said everything. Lorelai turned around and walked out the door.

...

Lorelai drove into town and could hear the chorus of Lazy-Hazy-Crazy-Days filling her car.

She pulled up in front of Luke's and walked across the street into the diner.

"We're closed he said coldly."

"I know...Look I didnt come here to make up or to try and get you to for give me or to talk. I wouldnt have even come here at all but I had a really crappy night and I really need a cup of coffee." Luke gave her a mean look from across the counter. " Look just pretend that Im not me. Im Me-Me new custermer, Ive never been in here before. I was just walking down the street and I spotted this place, Oh hey nice lights. and I came in." She said moving slowly towards the counter. "and now Me-Me is going to pour her self a cup of coffee, and sit over here way far away from you and she promises just as soon as she's done she will rense out her own cup and leave. " Lorelai sat down and put the cup up to her mouth. "This is the second time I let myself do this." she said after a moment.

Luke let out a sigh and gave in. "Do what?" he asked.

"Think I finally found it."

"found what?"

"Love, comfort, safty."

"Ah..."

"First with Max which of corse I screwed up and then with Christopher which of couse all the elements of the Universe got together to screw up."

"Yeap it's tough when the Universe is against you, it's like taking on the Mahnhtten garbage union."

"I always thought if he could just get it together, grow up, maybe we could do it. Maybe we could really be a family, in the traditional stupid Dan Quail, golden retever, grow old together, wear matching jogging suits kind of way. And then he did get it together. He became that guy, and he gets to be that guy with her. Chris is gonna have a baby with his girlfriend and he's gonna marry her, and he's gona be there for her while she's pregnant, and he's gonna be there for her while there child grows up, and he's gonna be there for her while she does whatever it is that she does. and I amin exactly the same place I was in before."

"Is that so bad you got Rory,"

"Yes I do,"

"You got a house, you got friends, you got a job, and apparently an iron stomach.

"No, its not so bad Im lucky...I know...I just feel like Im never gonna have it. The whole package you know. That person...that couple life, and I swear I hate admitting it because I fancy myself wonder woman but I want it, the whole package." Tears were falling from her eyes this was the first time she'd let out what she'd really been feeling. Luke saw this and slid a doughnut down to wear she was.

"You'll get it." he said.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know, now eat you doughnut."

"Im not really very hungry." she said taking the money out of her purse.

"Take it with you, you will be later."

"Se tried to hand him the five dollar bill but he wouldnt take it.

"Forget it first time custemers on the house, Me-Me was it?" he asked.

"Yeah,"

"Come again Me-Me."

"Thanks I will seems like a very nice place."

...

When Lorelai got home Rory was already there. So she decided to get the Lazy-Hazy-Crazy-Days out of her system by spending the rest of the evening with her daughter.

"How was dinner?" Rory asked

"How was Dean?"

"How was dinner?"

"Bad."

"Im sorry is there anything I can do to help."

"Your exsistance is a huge help." Rory smiled at her mom. "Hand me my purse will you, I'm hungry."

….