Yay! An update! This chapter is kinda...dark. It deals with murder, that's all I'm sayin'. I have never some across someone that did this, so yay for origonality!

Enjoy!


Chapter Four

Heal Me

"Leave me ALONE! I hate you!"

And with those ringing words, Rinoa Heartily slammed the door in her father's hurt face. The five-year-old whirled around and jumped on her bed, burying her face in her pillow. Hot, thick, tears streamed down her face.

"…Mommy…" She sobbed, shutting her eyes tight against the torrent of images that raced through her brain. Her mother, lying cold and coated with blood on the street. People and faces around her, so many that she didn't know. Voices that hardly mattered. Her father.

And Squall. Her new best friend.

She didn't know why, but for a moment, held in a tight hug by the reclusive boy, staring into his blue eyes, she had felt content. She had felt like her mother hadn't died and that everything was going to be okay.

But then her father had taken her away, and the world became enclosed in darkness again. Rinoa was scared. She could hear her mother calling for her, but she couldn't see her in all the darkness, and before long, she was swallowed up. And the light was nowhere to be found.

Some would think, perhaps, that at five, Rinoa wouldn't understand the concept of death. But being the daughter of a general had awoken her to many of the harsh truths of real life. Maybe she didn't REALLY know death, hadn't seen stinking corpses on a battle-field, or felt the raw helplessness of someone wasting away from sickness, but there were things that she did know, even then.

Rinoa Heartily knew that her mother would never talk to her, play were her, never tuck her in at night, again. She knew that she wouldn't feel her mother's cool hand smoothing her hair back, her light kisses on her nose. She knew that her mother would never wake up again.

And loneliness spread through her, paralyzing her whole body as she thought of all the things she would never feel again, all the things her mother could never do now.

And for a while she just cried. She cried until her breath came in gasps and her sadness welled up so that she could do nothing but wail in despair even as tears ceased to fall. She had no more tears to cry. Rinoa felt dried up, used, and empty. She felt unsure, and she felt afraid.

What could she do now that there was no one left to hold her tight?

But she realized, there WAS someone that could hold her, and help her. And it wasn't her father, either.

But the question was, how could she find Squall?

Well, Rinoa reasoned, she could worry about that later. Right now, she had a letter to write.

And so, she set to work.

A long while later, she had composed a letter that was quite admirable for a five-year-old, especially seeing as she had been able to write since the age of three. It was a given when you were the daughter of a well-known general. Biting her lip slightly, Rinoa quickly read over what she had written. Aside from the fact that she didn't know if Squall could read, she didn't know how she would get it to him in the first place.

Call it intuition, or maybe fear, but Rinoa knew better than to tell her father about Squall. She couldn't tell anyone that worked for him either. So how could she find him? Whether she liked to admit it or not, she knew very little about Squall, and if things kept going the way they were going, she wasn't going to find out more.

But an idea struck her, and she slipped soundlessly out the door.

Rinoa returned a few minutes later, panting and clutching a few small items in her arms. Running over to her bed, she dropped the objects on the sheets and jumped up so that she sat in front of them.

Scattered before her were five objects; her letter, a clear bottle, a cork, a bottle cap, and a hammer. Grabbing a black Marker from her bedside table, Rinoa folded up her letter, writing: 'To Squall, From Rinoa' on the front. Stuffing the letter in the bottle, she grabbed the hammer and cork. Pushing it in until it went no further, Rinoa swung the hammer high over the embedded cork. She pounded on it, until it slid so that it was just under the rim of the bottle. Carelessly tossing the hammer away, she screwed on the bottle cap and smiled slightly.

It wasn't definite, in fact, the likelihood was that Squall would never get it, but in her heart Rinoa knew that if she just believed in Squall, and their friendship, that her letter would find him.

And everything would be all right.

The next day, no one noticed as Rinoa rolled down the window of the car while they drove by the ocean. And no one noticed as she drew her arm back and threw a crystal-clear bottle into the crashing waves.

'No matter where we are, Squall, Our hearts will bring us together again.'

Two years passed.

And still, Rinoa kept up her determination, her mind-set that Squall would come for her. His face was blurry in her memory, but his eyes were bright and beautiful. And in her dreams he took her away from her father and they went to a wonderful place where her mother still lived, and Rinoa and Squall played and laughed like best friends should.

But her days were dreary. It was always they same. She had to learn to be a trophy daughter so that her father would become more successful. Deep down, she did love him, but it was more of a required love. He was her Father, she HAD to love him. And so the rest of her that didn't follow that rule hated him with a passion. But Rinoa could never decide which one she truly believed. So she was stuck, waiting for Squall to save her.

It was on what seemed to be a normal day when she saw him again.

Rinoa had been just about to leave her room when it was thrown open with the force of a speeding car. A burly, armed security guard stood in the doorway. "My apologies, Miss." He said, his deep voice seeming to come from a megaphone. "But there is a commotion below and your father insisted that you stay inside."

'Inside…?' Rinoa thought, frowning. 'Then what's happening OUTside?'

Before the guard could react, she dashed over to the window, where she saw her father standing before two armored men that were dragging a struggling boy away.

Somehow, Rinoa didn't think, she just knew.

"SQUALL!!"

She slipped past the guard before he could do more than blink, and ran down the stairs, shoving people out of the way.

When she reached the gate where the guards were shoving the boy into a car, Rinoa shrieked, struggling to get passed her father. "SQUALL!"

Squall looked up, his face set in desperate determination. "Rinoa!" He called, struggling against the men that held him back. "I got your letter!" His feet were on the sides of the car, no matter how the guards pushed, they could not get him through without breaking his legs.

"I'm going away to the Garden! Find my answer on the growth of Seeds!"

Before Rinoa could say anything, their eyes locked for the briefest of moments, and Squall was gone. The car drove away and she broke down in renewed sobs.

Her savior had been unable to save her after all.

Her father let down his guard for a moment, and she broke away from him, running, she didn't care where she ended up.

She found herself below her window, and Rinoa heard Squall's words echoing in her head. The growth of Seeds? What did that mean?

Suddenly, her eyes caught sight of the apple tree a few feet from her window.

Rinoa didn't even hesitate, nor could she find herself surprised as she walked over to the tree and raised trembling fingers to the inscription:

Rinoa-

I got your letter. I really can't answer you're Question, and I'm sorry for that. But I'll try to tell you something important. You can make your own happiness, Rinoa. You made me happier than I've ever been, just by meeting you once. You carry it with you. Never give up hope. Your mom is up in heaven somewhere, smiling at you everyday, I know it.

Lastly, I'll always be you're best friend.

We may never meet again, but we'll never forget each other.

-Squall Leonheart

Rinoa traced the rough lines of Squall's words, smiling to herself even as tears fell down her face.

"You're right, Squall. I'll never forget you…"

The very next day, her father cut down the tree. And that was the last time Rinoa knew anything of her best friend…

Eight Years Later…

Fifteen-year-old Rinoa Heartily twirled her braided hair around her finger absently. The TV was on, though it was a news program that she really wasn't listening to. But a few words from the reporter changed all of that.

…"And in other news, a convict is being released from prison today on early Parole. He has been accused of assisting in murder, illegal drug use, and drunk driving that, ten years ago, caused the death of the celebrated singer, Julia Caraway, wife of the General Caraway. Here is a snapshot of the convict, Allen Stephenson…"

Rinoa, her mouth and eyes open wide in horror, gazed at the face of the man that had destroyed her life all those years ago. He was old; well into his sixties, but with a strong, powerful, almost sinister, look about him. His hair was shaggy and grey; his eyes glinting maliciously even from the screen of the television.

Rinoa felt her hands curl into fists as her mouth formed a feral smile.

That man…was going to pay for what he had done…

And so, she tracked him down. He worked bagging groceries at a supermarket not far from her house. And in a dark alleyway, after he got off work on Friday night, Rinoa promised herself revenge.

It all came down to this day, this moment. Rinoa didn't know what had come over her, she didn't know how to classify it other than as Hatred. Anger. Those feelings filled her up until she could feel nothing else, and she knew that she had to act.

The old man stepped out of the store, not looking back as he strolled along the pavement, whistling a tune. A few people along the road scooted away at the sinister sound. He smiled at them, a smile that was more like a leer.

He came to an alleyway.

Rinoa stepped forward so that her face was in shadow, leaning against the wall of the alley, the baseball bat hidden securely behind her. "Hey there," she said, her voice coming out as a low purr. "Think you can show a girl around? I'm a little lost…do you think your could give me directions?"

The man stopped and did a double take, his eyes traveling slowly up her leather-clad body to her shadow-hidden face. He grinned, an odd light entering his eyes as he looked her up and down again. "Sure thing babe," he said, his voice grating and rough.

He stepped closer so that he was within arm's reach of Rinoa.

She did a quick sweep with her eyes. No one was around, no faces in windows, no cars driving by. Faster than even she had thought possible, she swung her leg around and kicked him in the groin.

He let out a grunt of pain and doubled over as Rinoa grabbed him and threw him effortlessly behind her into the depths of the alley. She came towards him, hiding herself in shadow once more, focusing on the dark shape that was her prey. Reaching for the baseball bat, she swung it high around her head, making contact in the man stomach.

"Who the hell ARE you, bitch!?!" his voice ground out, wheezing. "What the hell do you want?"

"What do I want?" Rinoa's voice was unlike her own, harsh and dripping with hatred. "I want my mother back, bastard."

And she swung the bat again. And again, and again, and again. She kept swinging, aiming blindly as her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. She wanted to cause this man even a mere fraction of the pain she had felt, wanted to make him cry out in a fraction of the anguish that had filled her voice. Rinoa swung the bat over and over, not stopping no matter how loud the man's cries became. She didn't stop, even as she felt blood spray her face as it was flung off her bat as she swung it around once more. She didn't stop even as the man's cries became gasps and pants as her swinging became faster, not giving him enough time to make noise. Only when no sound issued from her prey did she stop, breathing hard, as finally, by the light of the moon and her adjusted eyes, she gazed at the broken man.

He lay perfectly still, blood gushing steadily from his cracked skull. No sounds of breathing escaped him, nor would they ever do so again.

The man that had killed her mother was dead, murdered by Rinoa Heartily.

And with a resounding crash, it hit her. She had killed him. She had murdered. She had hit and broken a man until his blood ran down her face.

And it was then that Rinoa Heartily truly understood death.

The bat fell out of her hands as she crashed to the ground, tears pouring down her unconscious face.

"How is she doctor?"

"Fine. I cleared the blood off her face. We won't know anything for sure until she wakes up."

There were voices…so many voices…

"…Dad…?" Rinoa murmured, opening her eyes to be met with bright light.

"She's awake!" Her father's tight and anxious face blocked the light for a moment. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay…" Rinoa sat up, raising a hand to her temples. "My head is throbbing though." Her father nodded grimly.

Rinoa looked around the room, surprised to see a doctor examining her face. "Why is there a doctor here? What happened?" Her voice began to rise hysterically.

"Nothing…" Her father soothed, gently grabbing her arm. "It just looks like you tired yourself out and collapsed. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Do you remember what happened before you passed out?"

Rinoa shook her head, eyes wide in fear. The doctor and her father were looking at her as though she would spontaneously combust at any moment.

Her father's face relaxed slightly, though his fearful look remained in place. "You go back to sleep now. I need to chat with the doctor."

He patted her hand before leading the doctor out of the room. Though here conscious mind blocked out her fathers words, her subconscious lapped it up like a starving puppy.

"Well, doctor? Why doesn't she remember?"

The doctor sighed. "She doesn't want to remember. She is so horrified by what she did that she cannot accept it until she is ready. Rinoa is likely to forget anything significant to do with her mother's death. You may very well have to make up a story for it, as she likely won't remember."

"So…her memory is gone?"

"Just the part that has to do with your wife's death. Everything else should be just fine. I suggest you treat her as you normally would. If there are any problems, call me." The doctor's footsteps faded as he walked down the stairs and out the door.

Rinoa's father sighed sadly.

"Perhaps it is for the better. No one should know that they murdered at fifteen…least of all my Rinoa…"

Rinoa Heartily woke to the harsh realities of her existence.

She was a murderer. She had killed at age fifteen.

The darkness of the night pressed in around her, suffocating her, chocking, killing her as she had killed two years ago…

But wait…what if it was all just a dream…?

No…Rinoa realized, eyes squeezing shut as tears leaked through. It all fit, it all made sense. She had shut out the memories of her mother's death, and the memories of Squall. One of the many reasons that she had run away from her father, had been that he had looked at her like she was something disgusting and foul, something to be afraid of. And the worst part was, Rinoa now knew…

He was right.

Tears poured down her face, struggling to keep her voice low so as not to wake Squall.

Too late for that, though.

"…Rinoa?" Squall's voice broke through her sobs like the crack of a whip.

"I'm fine, Squall…" Rinoa's voice was thick as she tried to mop her tears, her back to her companion.

"Did something happen…?"

"No, Squall…"Rinoa's chocked voice said, as tears continued to fall down her face. "I just discovered the truth about something." She was shaking uncontrollably, hot tears streaming down her face like rainfall.

"Rinoa…" Squall shifted, using his good limbs to adjust himself so that he could see her face. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. The moment his gloved hands came into contact with her skin, Rinoa jumped away, snarling. "Don't touch me!"

Her breathing was heavy as she scrambled away from him, eyes wide. Squall blinked, confused, and a little hurt.

"Rinoa…" His voice was soft, questioning, his beautiful blue eyes boring into hers. And Rinoa couldn't help it; she had to let it out.

She came closer to him again, both leaning up against the other's body in a half-embrace.

"I did something really bad, Squall…." Her voice was so quiet, even in the stillness of the peaceful night, Squall had trouble hearing her.

"What happened…?"

Silence stretched on as Rinoa struggled to keep her voice steady.

"My mom died when she was hit by a drunk driver. I was only five. Ten years later…the guy that killed her was being released from prison on parole. Turns out he'd done some other illegal stuff too…"

"I…tracked him down one night. I waited in an alley by where he worked. I had a baseball bat with me. That night…" Rinoa trailed off as tears continued to flow. She scooted closer to Squall, reveling in his body heat.

"I just wanted to hurt him so badly, wanted to cause him some of the pain I had felt. The next thing I knew blood was splattered on my face, and my mother's killer lay dead on the ground…"

"I'm a murderer!" She whispered harshly. She felt pain and horror well up inside of herself, until she could no longer stand it.

Rinoa cried out in despair, clutching herself, trying to stop herself from shaking. "I killed…I killed…" She moaned, rocking back and forth, sobbing. "After-I couldn't-didn't- want to remember…I forgot everything to do with my mother's death…and the fact that I murdered at fifteen!"

Chocked sobs escaped her lips, and shuddering, Rinoa tried in vain to calm herself. "I'm dirty, Squall…contaminated."

"No."

Squall's answer was firm.

"Rinoa, if there's anyone in this world that isn't dirty or contaminated, it's you. You…carry happiness with you."

Rinoa turned wide, red-rimmed chocolate eyes, toward Squall's bright blue ones. "You…really think that…?" She murmured wonderingly, her lips twisting into the slightest smile.

Squall's face flushed slightly.

"I…suppose you're right…you wouldn't lie about something like that."

Rinoa's smile grew brighter.

"After all…you were my best friend…"

She was met with silence, staring into Squall's eyes. He said nothing, but nodded, almost imperceptibly.

And Rinoa leaned forward, grasping Squall in a light hug, careful on his broken limbs. For a moment, Squall sat, stiff as a board. Then, very slowly and gently, as though he were afraid she would turn into something scary and unpleasant, he leaned into her, holding on until her sobs quieted to be replaced by deep, easy, breathing.

And after a while, Squall too, entered into sleep. And together, they dreamed of simpler times, where dead woman were alive and families were whole. And together in sleep, a five-year-old girl approached a six-year-old boy.

"We're best friends! Now and forever!" She said, grasping his hand.

And the boy smiled before replying.

"Always…we may never meet again, but I promise, we'll never really forget each other. We're best friends, Rinoa. Always."

And they didn't know it then, as they lay together in peaceful, blissful, slumber. But that night had changed them. Now, together they were on a journey bigger than any other. Together, they began the journey that would heal their souls, their very being. They were together, and they would help each other, as no one else could.

And as their breathing mingled into the still night, they began their greatest and most important journey yet.

And not too far away, a hulking T-Rexatour smelled the blood and salt of a Human's tears. Low growls escaped its lips as its tongue moved over its teeth, preparing for a feast.

And with the scent of Humans and the stars as his guide, the dinosaur-like creature set off in search of its prey…


OOOOOHHHH! Heh heh, cliffhanger!

I hope you liked. Next chappie: Protect Me

And now for reveiws:

rinnyheartillyizawesome: Thanx! I'm glad you thought that part was funny. I plan on doing more remembering and humor later on. Thanks for the review!

Rinny87: Thanks, I got both, though I removed the seperate story. I appreicate the reviews! I will continue this dilligently!

Xx-DarkStar: I'm glad you love this story. I must admit that I'm rather fond of it too! If anyone here likes FF7, check out my stories for that game, the same with Inuyasha. Oh, I also read your other story and enjoyed it emmensly, You are really talented. Thanks for the Review!

Relyob: Thanks, I hope you liked the other chappies!

That's it! Thanks to each and everyone of you!

Please Review this chapter too, if you don't mind!

Catch ya on the flip side-

AerithHeart )