Chapter Four – Fear

Kinda alone

With a friend called fear
Locked up in a world
That's called your life
 
Talking to walls
That close in on you
Not able to run
You are frozen inside
 
Rest in your misery
Never to escape
It all has its reasons
It's all been arranged
 
On from day one
Thrown onto this world
Born in sin
Being the silent one
 
Fear
Fear
Of life
Of death
 
Hiding your fantasies
Deep down inside
They're never to see the light of day
 
The scales of balance
You have in your head
Are tipped against you
The burden you bear
 
Fear
Of life
Fear of life
Fight
Fight
For life
For pride
 
Refuse - Never crawl
Breathe - And you will win
Shame - No such thing
No burden - Is called sin
 
Fight
Fight
For life
For pride
 
Refuse - Never crawl
Breathe - And you will win
Shame - No such thing
No burden - Is called sin
 
Hiding your fantasies
Deep down inside
They're never to see the light of day
 
The scales of balance
You have in your head
Are tipped against you
The burden you bear
 
Fear
Of life
Fear of life

~*~

 

The doctor cleared everything with Dumbledore. Lily was to sleep in a separated partition of the Gryffindor boy's dormitory. James felt like he was doing what he had to do but the boys who shared his dorm (Sirius, Remus, Peter, Mundungus Fletcher and Frank Longbottom) just thought he was crazy. I mean, c'mon, what kind of self respecting person randomly devoted his life for the next four years to looking after the new girl? It just wasn't done a Hogwarts. The members of the Marauder gang (excluding James, of course) weren't all that happy at having a girl who was literally mutilated and didn't even talk follow them around everywhere. Shallow, but true.

Almost two months had passed since the "accident" – the boys responsible had been suspended but not expelled – which was probably one of the reasons for Lily's fear of going back to school.

 

James visited almost every day, and dragged the remaining members of the Marauder gang along with him. James was grateful to Remus, who felt sorry for Lily, mad at Sirius, who kept insisting that James had a crush on "Lilykins". And Peter – well if you gave Peter food for the trip then he was happy.

 

One particular day, one the first of November, Lily was ready to come back to Hogwarts again. That morning, as well as James and the Marauders, there was another guest for Lily at St. Mungo's. Mrs. Evans had come along to visit her daughter before she returned to school again. The Marauders were turned out of the room, but later, when James went outside to take a walk, he saw Mrs. Evans again, inside a beaten up Volkswagen, arms resting on the steering wheel, crying.

 

James felt so angry at that moment. Angry that tragedies like Lily's happened in the world. Angry that people didn't have enough money to fix her face. Sure, he could pay for it, but only with his parents' money. He didn't think his father would be happy to spend hundreds of thousands of galleons to repair a muggleborn's face.

 

Right there and then, James resolved to help Lily through everything. He would protect her from everything, and he would get her to talk again when she was ready.

 

Oncev inside, the doctor notified him that Lily was ready to go. She was standing, but on crutches. All of her cuts and bruises had gone, and her wrists were completely healed by the doctors, but she still had a particularly bad broken leg that for some reason James didn't understand wouldn't come off until later.

 

"Ready, Lily?" asked James, entering the room. They went by portkey back to Hogwarts

(yes, although Lily had a broken leg, she could still floo).

 
 

A/N: Have faith! The chapters do get longer!

Thanks for reading!

The song lyrics used at the beginning of this chapter are Fear by Gorefest

(never heard it but the words have meaning).