Chapter 4

Author's Note: NOT to be sentimental but that 1st review really gave me some encouragement! Thank you so much! I'm sorry if others tried to review but couldn't cause of the anonymous thing. But no worries! I figured out how to disenable the stupid thing so go and comment your little hearts out! Anyways, enjoy!

San laughed to herself silently. Amazed that she had actually scammed the guy. What an idiot. She thought, smirking.

"How about I start tomorrow morning?" San said, staring up at the blond. She noticed he was tall for his age, and thought it strange since he was Chinese. (I. AM. NOT. RACIST! I just have a few Asian friends and they don't exactly look like the green giant.)

"That's fine, hn." He said brushing back his bangs. (And so another 50 fan girls were born, or something like that…) San noticed a strange metal cover on his left eye. Deidara looked and saw her staring.

"Curious, hn?" He said. "What is it? Almost reminds me of a kaleidoscope" San said.

"Let's just say it helps me see, and leave it at that hn." His words sounded like a question but San knew it was more of an order.

"Fair enough." She said. "I'll start tomorrow at around, oh...9ish?" She said calculating how early she could get up. Do to her lack of cooperation in the early morning. (Awkward cough)

"That's fine with me hn." He said waving his hand nonchalantly in the air. "Just as long as it gets done, I couldn't give a damn." He walked back into the doorway then turned around to add, "Don't be late." And slammed the door in her face.

Where's this Asian hospitality she was looking forward to? If she didn't know better she would have thought they were in Russia. (For people who are unaware, Russians do not treat Americans kindly. 'Nuff said.)

Back to San's house!

(I could tell you about her 2 min. trip to the house but really, what would I write about? A hobo jumping into the road and starts to scream in her face, then Deidara comes the rescue randomly, takes her in his arms, and jumps away majestically like a kangaroo? Good lord, I cannot stand how cliché some people's stories are. (Stands on soapbox) Moving on!

The sun was setting again and it filled the house with a soft golden glow. She was sitting on the counter kicking her legs on a stool as she ate some Nutella (which tastes like liquid gold people. GOLD!)

"So, did they need any help?" Her mom said with her head propped up on her hand. She turned the page of the catalogue she was reading slowly. "Actually, yes." San said. Her mother looked up, surprised that they actually had.

"Really? With what?" San though of what Deidara had told her. "Just gardening. Theirs is in pretty rough shape apparently."

"Mmm, wonder where they got that idea, hehe…" Her mom said awkwardly.

"Yeah…it's a real mystery." San said scowling at her mother.

The next morning…

San woke up at 8:30 and got dressed quickly (khaki shorts, tank top, sandals, blah blah blah.)

As she got ready to walk out the door, her father came running downstairs and stopped directly in front of the door-way, blocking her path. He thrust out a bottle of sunscreen an inch from her nose and San wondered how he got there so quickly.

"No daughter of mine is getting skin cancer." He said and San noticed he had a huge blob of sunscreen lotion on his nose. She snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough, failing miserably.

"If it'll ease your mind." She snatched the bottle away and put some of it on. Her dad smiled and walked away singing 'it's gettin' hot out there' under his breath. Yup...definitely adopted.

(Let's try to make a...thorough description of how hot it was.)

San opened the door and pulled on her straw sun hat. "Dear lord." She said under her breath. She could literally see the heat coming off of the black top. She tested it and splashed some water on the driveway. It sizzled when it made contact. And sadly, she actually did see a bird catch fire as it flew through the sky. May it rest in peace.

San breathed heavily from the long walk. She knocked on the door hoping that Deidara would show her in before she had to start, figuring they had air conditioning.

The door opened and in its place stood a very strange looking man. She could tell he was a man since his body was more…buff. (I'm not saying he's jak, it's just that he didn't look like a ballerina, gosh!)

He was wearing strange clothing like Deidara, but what really got her attention was the bright orange mask that swirled around his face with only one eyehole.

He just stood there staring at her creepily before she finally spoke. "Eh..." He gasped and his hands shot up above his head. "DEIDARA SEMPEI! IT'S THE GARDEN LADY!" San jumped from how loud his voice was and suddenly realized that this must have been the guy named Tobi. He ran back inside still waving his arms around like crazy and San stared after him with a dumbfounded expression on her face.

Something hit the floor and a muffled gagging noise was heard. Then Deidara came out into the hallway rubbing his temples and frowning.

"Ehm…good morning?" She wasn't really sure what to say in this kind of situation.

"Sorry about my friend's (he sounded like he was in pain when he said the word 'friend') behavior. You'll have to excuse him, he has...mental issues, hn."

"Oh, that's perfectly fine!" San said laughing nervously. "So how about you show me to your garden." She made a gesture with her arms for him to go first.

"Good idea, hn." He passed by her out the door and she slid to the side not wanting to get pushed.

"So here's the deal, it's a real mess in there so I'd advise you work diligently." If you're not back in at least 2 hours then I'll assume you are either dead or unconscious.

San laughed at his joke and he looked down at her. "What?" He said in a monotone voice.

"Weren't you making a jo- never mind." He turned away then stopped when they got to the back of the house and stood at the gate leading to what she thought was the garden.

After he showed her where the garden was, Deidara started to walk back to the house. Then he stopped suddenly and turned around. "Oh before I forget, you'll probably need this,hn." He took out a strange looking knife and held it in front of her.

San stared at it, confused. "What is tha-is that a machete?"

"Yeah, what else would it be, hn?" He said looking genuinely confused.

He walked toward her a few steps and held it out. San took it cautiously (she was never a fan of knifes and neither am I, lol :) "Good luck." He said sarcastically with his back turned away. San could have sworn she heard him snicker.

"OPEN THE GATE OF DOOM!" (Haha, just kidding! Or am I?)

San kicked the door open with the end of her foot, not knowing what to expect. It creaked as it opened and San's face fell. "Sweet baby Jesus." She said to herself, letting the blade dangle loosely in her hand.

In front of her was a thicket of young trees so close together that she could barely see between them. She turned her head to the right and saw more trees, huge wild bushes and grass that reached up to her chest. To her left... not any better. She thought she heard a monkey screech somewhere but it must have been her imagination.

"I didn't sign up for this!" She said in a high-pitched voice, but no one could hear her. Either that or they just ignored her.

Closing her eyes, San took a deep breath like her father had, sucking on a lemon. It seemed to help. When she opened her eyes she let her brain shut down and started winging the machete through the tall grass. "Crikey mate! The wilderness is a dangerous place!" She said in an Australian accent mimicking Steve Irwin.

Kakuzu walked down the hallway upstairs counting money under his breath. "257, 258." He said in his deep voice.

As he walked past the window near the garden he caught movement in his peripheral vision. Walking back to the window he saw what appeared to a strange gnome like creature swinging around a machete and shouting loudly.

"Deidara." He said to the terrorist as was he walked down the hall to his room. (How convenient) "Hn?" He said, tensing. Kakuzu was not the type to be friendly.

"What is that strange creature doing swinging a machete in our back-yard? He said, not trying to be humorous in the slightest.

They both looked out the window and saw the girl swing furiously at a tree. It got stuck and she put her foot up against the trunk to pull it out. It didn't move for a second then came out throwing her onto the ground. "Hellfire!" She swore then continued her rampage through the jungle I MEAN garden.

"I hired her to take care of the backyard before Pein-sama arrives." He said matter of factly.

Kakuzu walked away and continued counting. "I would advise you not to inform Zetsu of this. You know how sensitive he is about his plants." He left the comment in the air as he turned the corner.

Deidara frowned knowing what Kakuzu said was true. Not like it mattered anyway, he was probably on a mission somewhere. Deidara preferred not to put too much thought into it. (Oh how wrong you are my friend, MUA HA HA HA!)

Back in the garden of doom

(You could call it an exaggeration but you wouldn't be laughing if you were there buddy!)

San had been in that hell of a place Deidara preferred to call a garden for over 2 hours now and she sat on a pile of leaves she had just cut down to rest. Her breath came out heavily and her arms felt lax with the effort of continuously swinging. She looked down at her clothes and saw that they were covered in dirt.

She frowned thinking back. "How does 10 bucks an hour sound, hn?" "Make it 20 and we have a deal." "He conned me." She said out loud finally realizing how clever the guy actually was.

(Explanation Time! : by offering $10 he implied that the job would be easy, and knowing San would ask for more kept the price as low as possible. She didn't realize it at the time but cleaning out that garden the price would've been better at $30 an hour. Since it wasn't really a garden more so a frickin' safari!)

She pulled herself up wiping the back of her shorts which were also now covered in dirt. San looked around and exhaled. Finally. She thought in relief. I can actually see the fence now.

Dropping the machete, she started to gather hand fulls of mutilated trees and bushes and gathered them into the middle of the yard.

San turned her head when she heard the slider door open and saw Deidara walking toward her with two glasses of water. She smacked her chapped lips together and looked at the water gratefully. "Thanks, it's been really hot out hear." She started to walk toward him.

"Thanks for what?" Deidara said looking confused. San stopped and looked at him. "Didn't you get the water for me?"

"The wa- OH! You thought this was for you?" He looked at her and laughed cruelly. "God no! Why the hell would I waste my time doing that, hn?"

San face panned and looked at the blond in disbelief. How much more rude could he possibly get?

"Well that's okay, I wasn't thirsty anyways." They both knew it was a lie and Deidara finished the water noisily. "Ahhhhhh!"

San's eyebrow twitched and she turned away before saying something she'd regret. "This is all I got done today but it's definitely better than before."

Deidara looked around the perimeter and saw that everything had been taken down. It was all piled in the middle of the lawn and he thought what a good fire it would make. Blazing brightly with flames shooting out widely.

San turned toward Deidara and saw that he had a wild look in his eyes. She followed his direction to the pile of leaves but couldn't put it together.

She coughed loudly pulling him out of his daze. "This will do for now, I suppose." He reached into his pocket and pulled out 80 dollars. (Don't know how Chinese money works, probably never will, so let's pretend it is the same as ours for the sake of my brain not exploding.)

San took the money and held each bill up to the light to see if it was legit. "Uh...what are you doing, hn?" Deidara said. The people here were very, very strange.

"Just checking to see if you gave me a fake bill. You know, since apparently you forgot to mention how much work I'd have to put into this." She said it in a cruel manner and Deidara was fazed for a moment.

He was not used to females talking to him in such an un-respectful way. But in the same sense, he had acted like a jack-ass to her so hey, what comes around goes around, right?

The girl folded the money away into her pocket and Deidara saw how dirty her clothes were. He snickered and stared at her dirt covered nose.

"You know, you should really take better care of yourself, hn." He said sarcastically, with a cruel smile curving his lips.

San said not a word, simply picked up the machete, handed it to him and walked out of the garden slamming the gate behind her.

Deidara laughed to himself then looked around. He would never admit it, but she did do a very good job.

The sound of footsteps came from behind him and Deidara snapped his head around to find Zetsu staring at the pile of brush with a look of horror on his face.

Deidara was almost expecting him to scream bloody murder.

"Aa-...aa-..." Zetsu tried to speak but couldn't form the words. Then the cannibal fainted and fell to the ground with a thud.

Deidara looked at him blankly for a second then stepped over his unconscious body and walked to the door.

"Huh…he took that well, hn."