AN: Hello, I'm back so soon. Yay! I thought I would give you guys a gift and give you two chapters two days in a row. :)
WARNING MAJOR TRIGGER WARING! TRIGGER WARING! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Also if you ever need to talk I am always here.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Enjoy ~ Tiz
Alec sighed as he ignored his siblings going off at each other. This was how a normal morning went, when the threat off a first day of school isn't looming over their heads. He could remember past arguments that had started off of something silly, either a comment to Izzys clothes leaving little to the imagination, or how Jace had so many products in his hair it should be considered a chemical weapon.
It didn't matter how the fights started, or why, Alec hated it when they fought. He hated fighting in general, he was no good at it, and the loud angry voices scared him. It was as if the voices in his head had come out and infected the ones he loved. Now they were infected all they could do around him, or each other, was fight, bicker, and glare at each other with a killing intent.
He closed his eyes and tried to think of something, anything, else. It was their second day of school and Alec already hated it. He supposed it was normal, most teenagers hated high school. But most teens weren't struggling with everything he was, were they?
When the car came to a halt, and the fighting took a pause, Alec opened his eyes and saw that they were at the hell hole already. With one last sigh he grabbed his back pack and exited the Jeep.
"Ugh I can't believe him!" Exclaimed pushing passed Alec as if he were non-existent.
Alec looked sadly at his baby sister as she walked away from him. He wished things could go back to how they used to be, when Izzy would talk to him. Even If it was just about how Jace always managed to piss her off.
When Alec got to his locker he shoved all his unneeded items in there. Making sure he had everything for the day, he walked down to first hour.
When the bell rang freeing them from second hour Alec's heart began to race. This was the time he had been dreading all day long. He was hoping he could skip third hour somehow, but he couldn't because it was an A.P. class.
He gathered his books and binders from his desk and stood up. As he exited the class and walked to his locker to grab his Biology book his arms began to shake. It took three tries to hit the right numbers into his locker's lock pad.
The door was an ugly colour of brown, and Alec felt like he was going to vomit. Maybe he would vomit and he could miss class. But how could that humiliation be worse than the one waiting behind the ugly brown door?
"You know just staring at it won't make it open." A voice said from behind him smoothly.
Alec jumped and looked up at the person who had crept up behind him, and blushed.
It was him, Magnus Bane, shit. Shit, Shit, Shit!
"Um, y-yeah." Alec stuttered. In a desperate escape to get away he actually entered the room.
He could hear laughter behind him; it was the most handsome laughter he'd ever heard. Could laughter even be handsome? Maybe it was because Magnus was the perfect handsome, in every way.
Slipping into his seat, Alec looked right down at his desk. He tried to make it obvious he didn't want to have any human contact with any one, ever. He wished there could be a sign above his head that read, 'Leave the freak alone'.
"So, I never did catch your name blue eyes." The voice of Magnus made Alec's body shake.
Looking up, face completely red, Alec gazed at the man in front of him and tried not to make a bigger idiot of himself.
"Alexander!" He blurted out, realizing his mistake too late. "I-I mean A-Alec. My n-names Alec." He said sinking into himself.
Magnus raised an eye brow at him in amusement. A perfect eyebrow that should be framed and put in Musee D'orsay, Alec thought to himself guilt fully.
"Really? Alec?" Magnus asked, "Hm, well I think I prefer the name Alexander better." Magnus said, smiling playfully at Alec. Alec shivered when he thought about the meaning behind that playful smile.
He nodded at Magnus's choice, not speaking up against him. The truth was Alec wasn't found of his real name, even if the way Magnus said sent his heart off a cliff. He only ever heard 'Alexander when his mother or father were mad at him, or often disapproved in his actions.
"Alright class, enough chit chat!" The teacher said to his hyperactive class.
Alec was relieved when Magnus turned around. He didn't think he could take the pressure of Magnus's intense stare anymore. It was like Magnus was a magnificent mountain above Alec, pressuring him as if he'd suddenly turn into something else.
Another reason for his relief was that Magnus wasn't his name perfect, hadn't even mentioned the fact that Alec hadn't called him. Maybe it was a mistake after all, Magnus must have meant to give the paper to someone else. Quickly he thought if he should mention that the paper didn't make it to its intended recipient, then realized the two major faults in that plan.
One being that it would mean more talking and embarrassment than Alec could handle. In fact the earlier conversation had maxed his weekly embarrassment limit. Those thoughts he had about Magnus, they were just so wrong. How could he think about another human being in such, disturbing ways?
The other flaw in his plan would be that the crushing fact that Magnus hadn't meant to give the paper to him, would be confirmed. Alec knew logically there was no way someone so beautiful as Magnus could be interested in Alec. But that didn't stopping from hoping, so how could he throw away his last hope.
Trying to ignore his internal conflict, Alec attempted to pay attention to is biology teacher.
"… to see who can grow the biggest and healthiest radishes. So partner up, and get those noggins thinking on ideas."
Radishes? Partners? What had Alec missed in his over thinking? Looking around confused Alec saw people pairing themselves up and going to the lab tables. Oh no, they didn't actually need to work with someone else, did they?
"Be my partner?" A perfected voice asked.
Alec looked up, way up, and the tall slightly Asian God was smiling at him.
"Me?" Alec asked, pointing to himself like an idiot.
"Yes, now come one. I hope you were listening to Mr. Teacher, 'cause I sure wasn't" Magnus said.
"N-no I wasn't." Alec silently cursed his stutter, "I w-was spacing out." Alec looked down shamefully as he followed Magnus to an empty lab bench.
"Really? Now pray tell, what were you thinking about, Alexander?" Magnus asked, looking into Alec's eyes.
Alec blushed, Magnus could and would never know he was thinking about him. Maybe he could say he was thinking about home? No too many questions could be asked. Alec settled for a simple lie.
"N-nothing much."
"Really? No exciting adventures in Alexander-land?" Magnus teased.
Alec let a short giggle out at Magnus's joke, and looked back up at him.
"Now I am going to have to see more of that." Magnus said, his tone had suddenly changed to a demanding one.
"S-see what?" Asked Alec, trying, and failing, not to crack under the pressure of the golden gaze.
"That smile of yours, it certainly is something wonderful." Magnus said a playful smile bag on his lips.
Alec blushed and looked down, Magnus did not, could not, have just given him a compliment. 'Wonderful'? He was anything but. Alec was not wonder he was filth, he was layers a dirt and grime that could never have any wonder to them.
"So, why didn't you call me?" Magnus asked.
Alec panicked; he wasn't talking to him right? Looking up he saw Magnus staring at him, his golden eyes unreadable.
"…Uh." Alec couldn't think, let alone speak. So he was supposed to call Magnus? Had he upset him by not? Even if it was a prank should he have called anyway? That would have made Magnus happy. Why did he have to be so selfish, why could he just think about someone else for once?
Magnus pouted, "I'm a little insulted, normally people call me when I give out my number. I used my special glitter pen and everything."
No, no, no. He insulted him? He hadn't meant to, he thought Magnus had made a mistake. Though that is an insult. Because how could someone so perfect make a simple mistake like that?
Alec looked at him; his brow furrowed lips open his breath rapidly increasing. He tried to apologize, but he couldn't get any words out. He couldn't get enough air in to form the words to say how sorry he was. He had so much to apologize, and he couldn't say it. Why couldn't he say it?!
"Alexander?"
No, someone so perfect shouldn't dirty their lips by speaking his name. He needed to tell Magnus that too, but he just couldn't breathe. Where had the air gone? It was here a second ago? Air, air, where's the breathing stuff?
Alec looked around the room; he could take Magnus's gaze any longer. It was too intense, he needed to back away. Taking a step back Alec tripped on the teacher's foot who was walking past. He hit the ground and all of his remaining oxygen was gone. There was no air left on the planet for him to breath.
His back hurt, and he couldn't breathe. Someone's hand extended out to help him up. He couldn't see whose. Slapping it away, he crawled away from everything.
He was surrounded now; he could hear voices asking things. Everyone was staring weren't they? They couldn't stare at him, no, no. He can't handle that.
Alec had to get away, so he shot up and ran for the door. Ignoring shouts from behind him, he dizzily stumbled out of the classroom. He ran into a bathroom and looked it behind him. Falling to the ground Alec tried to breathe. But how could he? Everyone now knew how much of a freak he really was.
Alec reached into his torn jeans pocket and took out his phone. Hands shaking he popped the case off and took out his shiny savior.
Alec snuck out of the school after he cleaned himself up. He made sure there was no evidence of what he'd done, and left the bathroom.
He went to his locker and grabbed the work he'd gotten so far and just left. He couldn't be here anymore, ever. He'd ask his parents if he could transfer to a different school. One were they didn't think he was a complete freak.
He trusted Izzy and Jace would be fine in school without him. They never needed him; it was always the other way around.
Alec was thankful it was a warm September day when he snuck out of the building. He also was grateful he knew where his new house was. There was no way he could get a ride from Jace; he needed to be in his room locked away.
So Alec started his way back to the house. He's feet hurt, and he knew he was out of shape. But worst of all, Alec knew he had just blown his only chance with the boy of his dreams. When he did get home Alec rushed into his room jumped onto his bed, and like a teenage girl, cried into his pillow. He didn't hold it back. He let it all out, and wished he was never born.
Al while still silently apologizing to Magnus, he'd never meant to insult the God.
