AN: Hey, guys! Long time no see! Sorry for the slow update! I just finished summer classes and Olympics are over so it's back to writing! Like I said, this will be a shorter story than I usually write. After this one, I'm estimating about 2-3 chapters left depending on how fast I want things to move. My plan is finish this before the end of September, which is when school starts for me. Damn, time is going back fast! I have a little over a month before I start. It's crazy! I still haven't bought a laptop for school either eek! What do you guys suggest? My preference is an ultrabook, but anything under 1000 dollars is good for me! Also for you college peeps, what should I bring to dorms? UCSD is in a suburban area if it helps! I'll be so thankful for your help because packing is stressing me out like CRAY CRAY!

Oh yeah, a few people messaged me about how even though this is rather light for a breakup story. I'm very honored that you think that way, but my inspiration for the humor comes from a very simple quote a friend of mine once. It went along the lines of this, since it's impossible to remember his exact words: "As much as we want it to be, a breakup is never really between just two people. What about the friends who saw those two as their OTP?" Classic. That really shaped my approach to this story. I've read a lot of angsty, sad, dramatic breakup stories that made me cry and tear up, so I wanted to experiment by adding some fun too. I know who I am as a writer, and that is not a dramatic, angsty one. Sure, I'll do one-shots of those to play around, but that's not me. It's not like they're doing anything cruel, so that's why I'm comfortable writing about it.

Enough of my rambling ahh! I did promise to make these author's notes shorter, moving them to my tumblr instead. Do you guys enjoy these? I feel like I talk too much. But I love talking. I'm proud of that. I won "best storyteller" for senior superlatives. All I do is yak, yak, yak LOL.


Stage 4: The Blame Game

"As our generation will soon oversee Konohagakure, it is our duty to investigate any matter that threatens the peace, hence why we have all gathered together. We are here today to solve the biggest crisis the village has seen since Inuzuka Kiba was temporarily diagnosed with a cat obsession," declared Tenten, standing up proudly among her peers AKA the Konoha 12. Once again, everybody was sitting in the circle at the park, watching Tenten flick out her fan.

"It is a crisis that has confounded many, if not all. Konohagakure's peace rests in their next actions that could affect us for the months to come, years maybe. So, my friends, let us ask ourselves:

"Why the hell are Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura being drama queens about their breakup?"

"I know, right?" Ino jumped up. "Yeah it was a bad breakup, but they are going overboard! Can they at least be civil?"

"Just being in the same building as those two is awkward enough," Choji nodded.

"I still do not understand. How can Sasuke and Ugly still be in the 'anger' stage?" Sai inquired. "Has that stage extended for them? Those two are an extraordinary case."

"Something really big and terrible must have happened. They wouldn't break up because they were annoyed with each other," Ino replied.

"Tch, yeah they would," Shikamaru snorted. Only Naruto heard him, as everybody else moved on with their theories.

"Please, allow me to demonstrate what everyone's thinking now. Boys," Kiba glanced back between Shino and Neji. "Back me up here!"

"No," Neji muttered, but gave up when Kiba pulled him up by the arm.

"Sometime last month, some big bad wolf with a deep, vengeful hatred for Sasuke comes and threatens him with Sakura!" Kiba began loudly. "Shino?"

Understanding Kiba's aim, Shino sighed. "'Sasuke, if you don't do this stupid-end-of-the-world deed, I will kill your lover with the abnormally large forehead and freak hair,'" Shino mumbled in a monotone, acting as the "villain."

"Then, being the angsty bastard he is, Sasuke will say this shit to Sakura-" Kiba grabbed Neji by the shoulder, surprising the Hyuuga.

"'Oh, Sakura. We have to break up. You mean nothing to me. My love for you was a big, fat lie! You don't deserve a bastard like me! I'm a monster! You need Inuzuka Kiba, that hot sexy beast!'" Kiba wailed in his best imitation of Sasuke's voice, before reverting back to his own. "And Sakura will go-"

"'Wow, you are so mean, Sasuke. You shatter my weak heart. Why oh why do I still love you after all the times you hurt me?'" Neji sounded annoyed. He didn't bother to fake Sakura's voice.

"And KABOOM!" Kiba stroke a victory pose, grinning. "That is the story of how Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura broke-"

"Psh, that was so two years ago," Ino scowled.

"With one of Orochimaru's weird underlings," Choji continued.

"But it didn't work," Tenten grinned.

"B-Because it was only for an hour," Hinata added.

"IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! THE LOVE SASUKE-KUN HELD FOR SAKURA INCREASED HIS STRENGTH! HE WAS SO POWERFUL TO DEFEAT THE ENEMY SO QUICKLY!" Lee cried.

"No, I remember Sakura was there when that Sound guy threatened Sasuke," Neji corrected.

"And she beat the shit out of that troublesome idiot," Shikamaru groaned.

"People always forget about Sakura's superhuman strength," Shino mumbled.

"Honestly, who on earth is stupid enough to go 'yo Uchiha, Imma kill your woman if you don't do what I say' when Sakura's there too? God, villains need to get it right," Ino shook her head.

Kiba's jaw dropped. "HOW THE HELL DID I NOT HEAR ABOUT THIS?"

As much as Naruto wanted to join in his friends' antics, do anything to relax and have fun, he could not. He didn't feel right having a good time while Sasuke and Sakura were going through a terrible ordeal. Then again, he didn't want to face those two either, not after his outburst at the supermarket. Ever since that incident, Naruto had not seen his two best friends at all.

Quietly, without any of the Konoha 12 noticing, Naruto stood up and walked away from the park. It didn't feel right being with others right now either; for a moment, Naruto wanted to be alone.

Maybe he shouldn't do anything this time. He had attempted twice and nothing good came out of it. He tried to work with those two, but it was hopeless.

I need to get out of here, just for a day or two...


Apparently, the world decided to mess with him today.

Naruto closed the door gently behind him, having just met up with Shizune, the Hokage's assistant. According to Shizune, there were no available missions for Naruto to do. Not even missions that concerned chasing cats or pulling weeds, which Naruto never felt happier to do than this moment. He was ready to do anything that could keep him busy. Just anything that didn't make him think about Sasuke and Sakura's breakup.

"Why am I even taking this so seriously?" Naruto whispered to himself, descending down the stairs. "They're my best friends and all, but..." why do I feel they aren't just breaking up?

"No luck with missions?" Naruto looked up, finding Kakashi at the bottom floor.

"Not even D-ranked ones."

"I don't think it's good for you to leave the village, especially with our little Team Seven crisis," Kakashi mused too playfully. Irked, Naruto glared at him.

"I'm perfectly okay with Sasuke and Sakura-chan breaking up. There's nothing better than seeing those two pretend to live happily ever after," Naruto muttered bitterly, brushing past Kakashi.

"I mean that you need to stay for them." At Kakashi's stern voice, Naruto paused.

"You and I both know that Sasuke and Sakura are not having healthy reactions to their breakup. As independent as those two are, they will eventually seek a friend to release all their emotions to. I cannot guarantee that Sakura will talk to you over Ino, but Sasuke will indefinitely need you."

Naruto snorted. Yeah, Sasuke and Sakura needed him. They needed Naruto as an excuse to fight over something that didn't concern their breakup. As if that itself didn't raise red flags about their terrible breakup.

He would have walked away from Kakashi, avoiding the conversation overall, if he hadn't heard a familiar name spoken down the hallway.

"Sasuke, you are not in the position to demand such things from us." It was the voice of an old man: Homura.

"No one else in the village has to deal with this. Why should I?"

Naruto's eyes widened; he could recognize his best friend's deep voice anywhere.

"Sasuke's still meeting with the Council?" Naruto was puzzled; it had been nearly four years since Sasuke returned. What business did they have with Sasuke anymore? He inched closer to the closed room, glancing back at Kakashi, who nodded.

"Yes, the Elders continue to have check-ups with him. Sasuke had once declared he would kill them, so they are taking extra precautions," Kakashi explained. "They're less frequent nowadays. They usually interrogate Sasuke on huge spendings."

"Do they think he's buying mass-destruction weapons? Is why they keep watch on his bank account?"

Kakashi shrugged. "It's always furniture, but Sasuke is a very private person; he's not going to boast about what he spends."

Naruto could empathize, especially when it concerned Sasuke. The young Uchiha was not someone who enjoyed people entwining with his private business.

"According your bank statements, you wrote out a check two months ago to Kagawa's, the Land of Iron's top blacksmith," Naruto heard Koharu speaking.

"For the last time, I was getting my sword fixed."

"But not in Konoha? Let alone Fire Country?" Homura asked with suspicion.

"That is impossible as long as the Council continues to brand me as a traitor," Sasuke scowled. Naruto didn't think this was faring well. And Sasuke was not someone who would back down.

"Uchiha Sasuke, it would be wise to watch your tongue..." Koharu warned him. "...if you wish to advance your clan's standing."

Three seconds later, Naruto jumped when the door slam open, followed by Sasuke stomping away. Naruto imagined that Sasuke would have stood up abruptly, sent a murderous glare to the two councilmen, and then exited the room. It was really hard for Sasuke to control his temper, and the Council didn't make it any easier for him.

Gulping nervously, Naruto followed his friend. He wasn't sure what to do or say, but Sasuke couldn't be left alone. A pissed-off Sasuke was a terrible thing to face, but Naruto knew it was the right thing to do. Sakura wasn't there for Sasuke anymore; Naruto was his last resort.

"O-Oi, teme!" He didn't understand how Sasuke could walk at such a brisk pace as Naruto already felt like he was jogging.

"Go away, Naruto," Sasuke didn't even bother to stop.

"What happened? And how come you never mentioned these Council meetings?" Naruto asked.

"None of your business."

"Hey, you can trust me. I won't-"

"It's nothing."

"But Sas-"

"Quit it, Naruto! I've had enough of you meddling with my life!" Sasuke snapped back, turning around to face Naruto. His onyx eyes seem to darken when it was already impossible, filled with irritation and anger. "Stop bothering me! No one made you my babysitter! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Naruto didn't realize he had grabbed for Sasuke's shirt collar until he felt his grip tighten around.

"I can't leave you alone because I'm worried for you! You haven't been yourself since you and Sakura broke up! I know you are doing everything you can to prove that breaking up was easy! I know you aren't mad at the council! And I know you're not mad at me either! This is your sick way of trying to move on, and it is not working, Sasuke!"

"I'm over that breakup," Sasuke gritted through his teeth. "That has nothing to-"

"Stop lying to yourself! You guys are not fine! This is not how you and Sakura are supposed to act! This is not how two people act after a mutual breakup-"

"Who said anything about it being mutual?" Sasuke whispered bitterly. It was so low that Naruto had to stop shouting. He thought it was only his imagination, but then Sasuke continued. "How could our breakup be mutual when Sakura gave up first?"

Naruto's eyes widened. Taking advantage of Naruto's shock, Sasuke stepped stepped back from his friend's hold.

It wasn't mutual? What did Sasuke mean by Sakura giving up first? Aside from the obvious, but Naruto refused to believe such a thing...

"W-What are you talking about, Sasuke?" Sakura-chan would never do that, he added mentally.

If Naruto ever had to wonder when either Sasuke or Sakura would crack, he didn't anymore; it came at that second.

"She was the one who didn't want me to stay the same! She wanted me to change so I could fit her stupid, perfect dream boyfriend! She was the one who kept annoying me about the massacre when all I wanted to do was for her to shut up about it! She was the one who couldn't accept that if I don't want to talk to her, I won't! She was the one who tried to control every aspect of my life! She was the one who got mad at every little thing I did wrong! She was the one who gave me no heads up when she ended it! And she was the one who walked out of our relationship and fuckin' left me! So if anybody's at fault, go find Sakura!"

The only sound in the hallway was the loud pants escaping from Sasuke. Naruto had never heard his best friend scream louder than today, not even during the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Sasuke looked weary, Naruto noted, not even relief from releasing all his emotions. Sasuke's face contorted uncomfortably, as if trying to ease an undying pain. Naruto wasn't sure which emotion was more powerful across Sasuke's face; anger...or hurt.

"I don't get it, Sasuke..." Naruto gulped, feeling his throat dry up. "...S-Sakura-chan l-loves you..."

Naruto didn't like the harsh chuckle coming from Sasuke.

"You would think she did," Sasuke spoke lowly, turning his back to Naruto. "After promising to do anything for me, to always be there for me. But no..."

Furiously, Sasuke punched the wall next to him. Naruto didn't even flinch, but oh how he wished he could see Sasuke's expression.

"She's just a lying bitch."


Naruto threw another kunai at the target. He didn't bother to aim for the center. He wanted a distraction, but he still wasn't successful with that. One more thing to add to his collections of failures.

Bitch. Never once had Naruto ever heard Sasuke call Sakura a "bitch." It was a derogative name for women, something even Sasuke admitted to saying once. No woman deserved to be called that. Funny how the first woman he directed that word to was the one girl Sasuke love. A girl he would have defended to the end of the world.

In the Sunset Village, there had been a disease breakout. Team Seven was one of the many that Konoha had sent for containment, Sakura being the head of the project. Fortunately, Sakura had detected the bacteria strain from a water source and for two weeks, the shinobi worked 24/7 to clean the water, particle by particle.

But that was only the first step; it had taken much longer for Sakura and the medic-nin to create an antidote. With most of them already affected, some of the villagers could not wait another second; they only wanted now.

"When is the cure coming? Why can't we have it now?" Naruto recalled a man in his late 20's complaining a young nurse. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Sasuke and Tenten run into the lobby and grab the wheelchairs.

"I-I'm sorry sir, but we are still trying to determine the effects of our prototype," the nurse replied nervously. Naruto felt bad for her; she was a chunin who had just finished her medical training. This was her first mission. Patients were coming in and out at a rapid rate that she would be more than happy to help. Yet here she was, stuck with an unruly man lashing out on her when she didn't deserve it.

"While you stupid ninja are playing lab, my brother is dying! Who's in charge here? I want to see who the fuck is heading this whack job!" The man screamed louder, scaring the girl. Naruto heard the wheelchairs crash into the wall, followed by Tenten yelling at Sasuke to be more careful.

"Haruno Sakura, the Hokage's apprentice, is the head b-but she says that the antidote is still in the early stages. It'll take at least three more w-weeks to see how it develo-"

"The Hokage's apprentice? That's the best that Konoha can offer? If that bitch got the best, why the fuck is she taking so long? What, she doesn't care about our village enough to hurry the fuck up? Does she need a good lay to spee-" The man gasped when he felt a strong hand grip his neck, slamming him into the wall.

"Don't you dare..." Speaking lowly, Sasuke activated his sharingan. The man coughed when Sasuke tightened his grip. "...talk about Sakura like that."

"Forget that loser, Sasuke! Ino needs these wheelchairs upstairs now!" Tenten yelled at him, but Sasuke ignored.

"'She doesn't care?'" Sasuke repeated the man's word. "Sakura hasn't slept in three days! She's barely had a snack for the last week! I haven't seen her outside the lab since the day one! And I know when we go home that for every person she loses on this mission, Sakura will lose hours of sleep because she will cry the entire night and I can't do anything about that! Don't you fuckin' dare say Haruno Sakura does not care because she cares more than anybody else could!"

Sasuke probably would have said more if Naruto and Tenten hadn't pulled him away. He had defended her so openly, so angrily that Sasuke didn't even need to tell that idiot who Sakura's boyfriend was. It was new for Sasuke, a man who trained himself to restrain his emotions regardless of the occasion.

It was hard for Naruto, remembering what Sasuke and Sakura were...and then seeing them now.

Sakura left Sasuke. She walked out on him. It was never mutual at all. Now that Naruto thought about it, the idea of a mutual breakup mainly came from Sakura. All Sasuke did was shove his stupid hands in his stupid pockets and ignore the problem. That must have been Sasuke's pride talking there. But was Sakura really the one responsible for their fallout?

"There you are, Naruto!" How funny it was for Sakura to find him at this instant.

As always, Sakura was smiling. But this one, no matter how many fake ones she had in the last few weeks, made Naruto feel queasy. There was something much more off about her smile today. How could a girl who could smile so cheerfully be also the same one responsible for Sasuke's heartbreak?

"Hey, Sakura-chan," Naruto greeted. He noticed she was carrying a backpack. "You have a mission?"

"Yeah, just for three days," Sakura replied. "Look, I didn't want to leave on bad terms with you, Naruto, so I want to say that I'm sorry for the way I treated you last week. It was unfair and you shouldn't have been involved. I won't do that again."

"Don't worry, I forgive you," Naruto said quickly. He could tell that he didn't convince Sakura enough. She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms against her chest.

"What's with you today, Naruto? Did I do something wrong?"

"Have you seen Sasuke yet?"

Her eyes widened for a brief moment. There it was, and Naruto caught it. So she was oblivious to his pain, or maybe she knew, but could care less about it. Sakura did walk out on Sasuke, and Naruto could never understand that.

But Sakura recovered quickly, brushing it off with a smile. "It's only a short mission, Naruto. I'll be back before Sasuke knows it."

"He's our teammate. He deserves to know whenever you leave the village."

"Well, he never cared about whether I had a mission or not in the first place, so I doubt that's changed. Besides, I don't care what he thinks."

"Che, no wonder Sasuke called you a 'bitch,'" Naruto muttered under his breath, hoping that Sakura didn't hear. Unfortunately, she did, for her entire body froze. Fiercely, she glared at Naruto.

"What did you say?"

Big mistake on his part. He regretted going that far so early. Naruto wanted to slap himself. "Sakura-chan, don't take it-"

"I'm sorry, allow me to correct," Sakura interrupted. "What did Sasuke say?"

"Give Sasuke a break! You're the one who kept telling people that the breakup was mutual, when really you left him without a single warning!" Naruto yelled.

"A warning? For Sasuke?" Sakura scoffed in disbelief. "Why should I when never got one from him? Why didn't I get a warning that said 'Sakura, our relationship will go nowhere so I don't care anymore?'"

"But Sasuke said-" And for the second time of that day, Naruto saw his other best friend crack too. And it was no better than the first.

"What? You think it's wasn't mutual because Sasuke said so? You think everything Sasuke says is right? Did that asshole tell you he was the one who stopped trying in the first place?" Sakura was screaming now, the same painful and angry way that Sasuke screamed just an hour ago.

"Did he tell you that he valued getting physical over having a conversation? Did he tell you that I could never tell him my problems without Sasuke calling them weak, immature, or stupid? Did he tell you how he never said 'I love you' once? Did he tell you the secrets he never told me? The secrets that angered him so much, yet he didn't think I was worthy enough to know about? Did he tell you that he stopped treating me like a girlfriend but a teammate he could kiss and fuck whenever he wanted? Did he tell you that, Naruto?"

Just like that, Naruto felt himself return back to square one. As wrong as it was, Naruto had assumed Sakura was the bad guy in the relationship. He couldn't help thinking that way after seeing how hurt Sasuke was. But Naruto forgot that Sakura was hurting too, and it wasn't fair for him to take Sasuke's side without hearing hers.

Naruto never considered Sasuke innocent of faults during the breakup, but for him to stop trying at all? To stop treasuring her like he promised? Sasuke never mentioned that, another pride factor probably. How could Sasuke not treat her special? Naruto had seen Sasuke look so comfortable with Sakura, hugging her, kissing her, all those small moments that Naruto worked so hard to sneak up on them. When did those moments stop? When did their relationship hit its climax?

"I-I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. I didn't know," Naruto whispered. He was about to grab her into a comforting hug, ready to tell her that it was okay for her to cry, but Sakura side-stepped him. Naruto thought she was trying so hard not to let the tears fall, let alone be made today.

"I know he's been through a lot, Naruto, but that's not an excuse for Sasuke to be distant. I can't wait forever for him to open up; I'm not like that. I can't be the woman Sasuke needs."

He watched Sakura breath heavily, gripping the hem of her skirt so that it wrinkled. Her eyes were not glossy from the tears that Naruto thought had appeared, but fiery. Sometimes, Naruto forgot that Sakura was no longer the twelve-year-old genin that needed his and Sasuke's protection; she was a grown, independent woman. That itself was a sad realization, because it meant she had also grown to control her emotions more than Naruto would have liked her too.

"I may have ended the relationship first..." Sakura spoke again, her voice barely above a hesitant whisper. "...but he was never against it. He would have said or done something if he wanted me to stay. I knew Sasuke didn't care because..."

Sakura inhaled deeply, but Naruto thought it was her way of swallowing her tears. Biting down her lip, she frowned.

"...he never went after me. He just stood there, letting us go."

And Naruto finally understood why he tried so hard to repair their relationship. Sasuke and Sakura would never talk to each other again. They would never see each other unless by Naruto's insistence. They would never embrace or kiss or laugh with each other. They hated each other, impossible to be friends again. They weren't going back to being teammates again, but strangers.

To Naruto, that was something he would not be able to handle. He would not be able to deal with his two best friends being strangers. Because that would mean Team Seven would have to start all over again. They already had to do that with Sasuke's return, and that was a ride that Naruto didn't believe he could go through again. And so, his biggest fear had come true:

Team Seven, along with Sasuke and Sakura's relationship, had fallen apart.


And there goes another chappie, peeps! And yes I did make it intense ohohoho! I will do my best to keep updating! I have over a month until school official starts! But seriously, if you're in college, please please please help me out with dorm list! I am so scattered brain! And a laptop. It's stressing me out. By the way, if you just read Naruto chapter 597, did you get mind-fucked like I did?

Playlist:

"Unbreakable Spirit" Crystal Kay

"Can't Be Friends" Trey Songz

"I Love You for Sentimental Reasons" Linda Ronstadt

"Scratching Me Up" Trey Songz

"Drank in My Cup" Kirko Bangz

"Super Rich Kids" Frank Ocean

"Oh My Love" Chris Brown

"Heaven" Jamie Foxx

"Climax" Usher

"Hourglass" Mindy Gledhill

"Take Off" Jeremih

"Happy Days Are Here Again" Barbra Streisand

8/12/2012