Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds!
A/N: As always, a big, huge THANK YOU, to everyone for the response on this. You do not know how happy I am to know this is well received =)
REMEMBER! New chapter = new memory... nothing from the last chapter affects this chapter.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From Heaven, With Love -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Penelope watched as Derek, Emily, Reid and JJ all turned to leave. She remembered this day like it was only yesterday that it happened. She remembered the familiar ebb of morphine as it raced around her veins soothing the pains, dulling them. She remembered how she felt, and the one thing that stuck in her gut was the one thing that never got broached.
An apology.
"Derek," she said and she felt the tears build up as she remembered everything from that one moment in life.
"What's up, Baby Girl?" Derek asked as he took her hand again. He watched her as she breathed through the pain. He was angry at seeing her like this. He was frustrated that she was a victim. He never envisioned ever giving Penelope that label and he felt bad for even thinking it.
"I-I just wanted to say sorry," she told him and felt the tears begin to build. "I went on that date to prove you wrong. I just wanted a nice guy to like me. I didn't want this to happen."
"We don't need to do this now, I understand, Baby," Derek soothed her, his hand taking hers again. "You just focus on getting better."
"I can't," She whispered as her emotions boiled away. "I can't let you walk out of this room without saying how sorry I am, Derek because I know that if you do, we won't get this chance." She watched him go to speak, to argue her point and she knew that if she didn't say it now, she never would. "I went on that date to make you jealous," she admitted and closed her eyes, partly due to embarrassment, partly to the pain. "I thought that if I did that, you'd get jealous and I don't know," She paused for a moment, "I didn't mean for it to backfire this bad. I never wanted you to find out any of this, this way."
"Penelope," Derek said as he sat on the side of the bed and gently watched her. He knew she was weak, he knew she was hurting over this and he knew that she was right. If he left the room, they wouldn't broach the subject again. Life would just resume its natural course. "I was jealous, that's why I got like I did. That's why I acted like I did. I didn't think he was bad for you, or that it couldn't be good enough to be true. I wanted to be the guy that got you excited, Penelope. I wanted to be that man that got you like that and I want to be the guy that crosses a smoky bar for you."
Penelope hadn't realised she was crying heavily until Derek leant in and wiped the tears away. "I didn't think you'd love me like that."
"Why not?" Derek asked incredulously, "Why didn't you think that?"
Penelope sucked in a deep breath, "Because I've seen who you date and who you dance with, Derek. That's why I never told you a thing and if this hadn't have turned out like this, then I still wouldn't have."
Locking his jaw, Derek's gaze cast downwards. He battled with himself for a moment. How wasted their opportunities were, how crossed over their emotions for one another had become. When he finally reverted to look at her, he saw her downtrodden expression and his heart clenched tighter than it already had.
"I was in church," He admitted quickly. "While you were on that date, I wound up in church. I wasn't going to go, but I needed some help. Something didn't feel right, and I didn't know if it was the case or the fact that you didn't want to talk to me, but something wasn't sitting right within me." He continued to tell her, "I was hoping to get some guidance on what to do next with my life and I got it. I knew what I was going to do and then I got the voicemail. While I was in church praying, you were fighting for your life."
"What were you going to do?"
"Tell you why I was a jerk, Penelope. I was going to tell you how in love I am with you," Derek told her and watched her offer him a small smile. "Because I am, Baby Girl. I am so in love with you, the idea of you hurt is actually killing me right now."
"I survived," she told him as the tiredness swept through her. She couldn't help but let a smile wipe across her lips, "I had to come back and tell you I'm in love with you too, Handsome," she teased him and watched as he leant in and gave her a kiss. This was exactly how she wished this had played out.
"Now you need to rest," He told her seriously. "This is something we will be continuing when I leave this room. I can promise you that."
Penelope grabbed his hand as he went to leave, "Can I ask one favour?" Penelope asked as she tried to calm herself.
"Course you can," Derek replied going back to her bedside.
"Promise me, that you won't talk about me like I'm a victim," She said as she felt Derek's hand squeeze hers a little. "I know you already do think it, but I just can't cope with you working this case and pegging me as that."
"I promise," Derek vowed and leant down and kissed her. "You get some rest, okay?" He watched her nod, "I'll be right outside if you need me."
"Okay," Penelope said and watched Derek leave the room. It was just as his hand hit the wall outside that she felt the familiar rush of exhaustion wash over her completely and she closed her eyes.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From Heaven, With Love -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"You need some rest," Derek said attentively as he finished looking around Penelope's apartment making sure it was still a safe sanctuary for her. He knew he should've realised her apartment would be the bigger deal of her office. He should've just known.
Penelope nodded and waited to get a hug before speaking, needing the physical touch once again, "You're right. Go. Be free my love." She breathed as they separated, she was ready to crawl into bed and let the medication she had work its wonders.
It seemed Derek had other ideas, "Hey, I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm fine," she argued back. "I've got my goon squad parked out front," she said motioning with her thumb to the window.
Smiling at her, Derek disregarded the idea. "Goon squad or no goon squad that couch right there is going to be my best friend until we find this guy. Now leave it alone."
"Okay," Penelope said and then grabbed his hand, "But don't sleep on the couch. You can have me and my bed as your best friend until this is over." She replied with a bright smile, "But even then I don't think I'm going to be ready to let you go home alone."
"Don't think I will be either," Derek told her affectionately, "Go get ready for bed. I'll be there in a minute."
Penelope smiled and turned to go through the beaded archway to her bedroom. Derek watched her go, his heart fluttered and his mind raced. He had to be one of the luckiest guys alive to have a best friend like her, to be in love with a woman like her and he was even luckier for her to have survived this.
"Hey silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?" He called out to her and spoke softly as she turned back to him.
Penelope's face illuminated at that and she nodded before replying, "I love you too."
"Good, just checking," Derek told her and winked before going to check the windows a second time and allow her to get entirely ready for bed.
Hours later, Derek refused to let Penelope out of his sight. For the second time in quick succession Penelope's life had been endangered by a crazed man with intent to kill. After the chase, the culmination of everything and the death of her shooter, Penelope just about got away from the hospital after being treated for shock and was allowed to go home where she quickly sought Derek's comfort to calm her completely.
Waking up in the middle of the night, she realised she was still in Derek's arms, she could tell from his hold he was awake and she kissed his chest gently.
"You're up," he mumbled huskily. He had laid away listening to her sleep for hours now, not quite believing that all threat to Penelope was now gone. "You okay?"
"I am," she whispered back and then moved a little to look up at him. "One of the last things I told him before he shot me was everything happens for a reason. Right now, I realise why this happened." She smiled at him, "I finally got you."
"You always had me, Gorgeous," Derek said and kissed her heatedly. "Just now you're the woman I can love like I never loved before."
Penelope couldn't help but smile as she sunk back down and welcomed in the new bout of sleep.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From Heaven, With Love -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
