The final chapter! I lost a bit of a feel for the story so apologies for rushing events in the last part, I just wanted to get it all out so you folks weren't left hanging.

Chapter 4

Bucky woke up on a small bed protruding from a wall in a black room. He blinked and turned his head to see Steve Rogers in a chair next to him reading something on a tablet.

Feeling Bucky's gaze on him he looked up and smiled. "Hey, how you feeling?"

Bucky blinked, unsure what to say. No one had ever asked him that before. He tried to move his left arm and looked down when nothing happened.

"It's deactivated," Steve said. "Localized EMP, it was the only way to stop the electric charge from killing you."

Bucky nodded, oddly pleased and laid his head back down to stare at the ceiling. "Good."

Leaning forward, Steve tried to get in his line of sight but Bucky's gaze didn't move. "Hey, you didn't tell me how you were feeling. You need anything? I can get Simmons, she's a doctor."

Bucky ached everywhere. Nothing new about that.

"You shouldn't be here Steve."

Steve couldn't hide his gasp when he heard Bucky use his name. "I'm not going anywhere, pal, sorry."

"You shouldn't be here," Bucky repeated, sounding frustrated that he wouldn't listen and that he couldn't articulate himself.

"Why won't you look at me?"

"Because you're my mission. I failed to terminate you but my orders were not rescinded," Bucky said tightly.

"You think if you look at me you might kill me?"

"Yes."

"And you don't want to kill me?"

"No."

"Then look at me Buck."

Bucky sighed and shifted his eyes. "I don't want to kill you, doesn't mean I won't."

"Like I said, I'm not going anywhere, but how about this, Fitz wanted to fix your arm but I'll tell him to hold off. You're good but I'm pretty sure I could take you if you're one handed."

Bucky considered it and nodded his approval, then his brow furrowed.

"The kid, is he okay?"

"Fitz, yeah, he's fine, he'll need some time but he's got a good team here, they'll take care of him."

"Good."

Steve's eyes went soft and he smiled fondly. "He says you saved him."

Bucky blinked. "No, not really."

"Well that's not how he tells it. Not how I tell it either after you fished me out of the Potomac. Do you ... do you know why you helped him?"

"I think ... because I remembered."

"Remembered what?"

"Being saved from Hydra," Bucky said looking at him briefly before dropping his eyes. "The first time."

Steve's heart clenched. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, the second time."

Bucky laid down and looked at the ceiling. So was he.


The next time Bucky woke up he was alone but didn't move from his bed. He lied awake staring at the ceiling until the door opened and Fitz walked in with a bashful smile.

"Hi," he said. His right arm was in a sling and bruises were prominent along his face along with the slight hint of bandages peaking from under his shirt collar that were covering the electrical burns. He sat down in the chair Steve had been in earlier and held up the plate he was carrying triumphantly. "I brought you a sandwich. A much better sandwich than any of the ones you ever brought me, but I won't hold that against you."

Bucky surprised them both when he actually laughed for a moment and inclined his head to the side, indicating Fitz should leave it on the table.

"Of course, I won't watch you eat yours. You can even keep the plate," Fitz continued, swallowing and noticeably nervous.

"Are you ... all right?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm getting there, but I'm back with my friends and not being tortured by Hydra anymore so I'm 1000% better than I was in any case. And that's because of you. Thank you for that."

Bucky nodded. He had no memory of ever being thanked before and didn't know how to respond. He hoped Fitz didn't ask how he was. He didn't want to lie but his body was starting to hurt more and more, it was one of the reasons he didn't get up.

"Steve said you saved me."

"You saved me first, only seemed fair. Guess we're even now."

Fitz shifted uncomfortably after that and glanced at the door as though worried someone might walk in. Bucky's head tilted.

"I ..." Fitz's voice dropped to a whisper and he cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask you a favour, I now I don't have any right but ... please don't tell the others what happened ... what you saved me from."

Understanding clicked in Bucky's mind and he nodded again.

"Thank you," Fitz said, deflating with relief. Bucky was surprised when he could detect the self loathing coming off of him.

"Should I also not mention how you defied Hydra at every turn and helped me at your own expense?"

Fitz blushed and looked at the floor. "Well, you could mention that if you want I suppose."

"I will."

"Thanks. I'll let you eat your sandwich."

In his office Coulson clicked off the monitor in Bucky's room and wished there still existed a SHIELD he could report to on the extraordinary bravery of his agents.


At FitzSimmons's request, Coulson and Steve met them in the lab. Their expressions were grim as they said they had to talk about Bucky.

Simmons had finished her analysis on his blood and physiology and the results weren't encouraging.

"These are the results of Sergeant Barnes's tox report," she said, throwing the list up on the monitor.

"You can call him Bucky," Steve interjected.

"As we have not been formally introduced, I am afraid I cannot," she said with a polite smile.

"I know some of these drugs," Coulson said, pointing at the last three on the list.

"They're not uncommon. Painkillers, narcotic painkillers, a cocktail of them at an extremely high dosage, I imagine due to his body building up an immunity and his enhanced physical prowess. The other three are psychotropic drugs, meant to counter the effects of the painkillers, keeping him alert and focussed, but still obedient to their will."

Steve shook his head, not wanting to hear any of this, but still had to ask, "What are the painkillers for? Battle?"

"Sort of, but more so he can function at all. Sergeant Barnes is in chronic pain, or at least he would be if he stopped receiving these treatments." She pulled down the holographic list and replaced it with a scan of Bucky's body where three areas were circled in bright red. "He has several very old injuries which have healed poorly. His mobility hasn't been limited because the drugs are keeping him from actually feeling any pain but the signs are all there. Here you can see the cartilage in his left knee is completely worn away, the bones are grinding directly against each other. He has pins in his hip keeping the bone together but again with no cushion to insulate the metal, but worst of all is this prosthetic." She zoomed in the scan to Bucky's left arm. "The scar tissue around the arm is atrocious and don't even get me started on the way it's connected into his nervous system, pinching nerves, cutting off synapses. They practically shoved the thing onto him, it's disgraceful."

When she turned around and saw the crestfallen look on Steve's face she deflated and looked apologetic for her bluntness.

"What can we do?" Steve asked already sounding defeated.

"We'll wean him off the psychotropic drugs and that will help him function independently and recover his sense of self but then he'll also be a disoriented mess from the painkillers. But there is good news."

"Which is?"

"The injuries are treatable," Fitz chimed in. "Hydra didn't care about fixing him up properly as long as he could fight, and the painkillers would have made him unstoppable in hand to hand combat in any case. You could break his arm and he'd barely feel it. The good news is we can treat most of these injuries. The hip's easy, the knee too if you can get a good surgeon. The arm's trickier but only because he needs a new one. This one's basically scrap after the EMP but that's good because it means we can design him a new one and have it put in properly, clear out the scar tissue and connect it to his nervous system in a functioning manner. It will take time though and resources, neither of which we're big on with SHIELD down."

"I've got some friends I can call," Steve said.

"Some friends?" Coulson parroted.

"A friend, I've got a friend who can help. I'll call Tony when we land."

"Tony?" FitzSimmons both repeated.

"Tony Stark?" Fitz asked, eyes wide and gripping the table to stay upright.

"That's the one," Steve said, unable to hide his smirk. "You guys want to meet him?"

"Simmons do ... do we want to meet Tony Stark?" Fitz asked, gasping with his good arm waving about.

"Easy Fitz, breathe, breathe. It's okay. We're ready for this. Really Captain, he's in no shape to handle this kind of excitement right now, what were you thinking. But yes, of course we want to meet Tony Stark."

"Yes, breathe please, because I have one more question," Steve said. Simmons now had a paper bag held up to Fitz's lips but they both nodded that he should continue. "Why did you want me to get Loki's staff? How can that help Bucky?"

FitzSimmons told him their idea, explained the logic and the science behind it. Steve nodded. It made sense. It could work.

"So do you want to try it?" Fitz asked.

"It doesn't matter if I want to try it, it matters if Bucky does."

"He's not Bucky right now though, not really," Fitz said.

"Hydra took his choices away from him, we can't be like them. We tell him the same thing you told me and we let him decide what he wants to do."

Coulson nodded his agreement, understanding more than anyone the necessity of letting a man make his own decisions with his life.


Steve entered the interrogation room they were using as Bucky's room to find his friend sitting at the conference table, reading a tablet. He looked better than the last time Steve had visited him but he knew that was only because Simmons had given him more painkillers as he was in no state to be weaned off them yet. Steve sat down across from him and Bucky laid the tablet down which Steve saw was open to a file on the Howling Commandos.

"Remember anything?" Steve asked.

"Fragments, nothing concrete. This was the most familiar." He changed the tabs to show a picture of Steve before the serum.

"Yeah, that makes sense. That's how you knew me most of your life. You only knew Captain America for a little while in the grand scheme of things."

Bucky looked at the picture again and nodded as though that all added up properly in his head.

"Listen Buck, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Bucky recognized the serious tone and sat up straighter, staring straight ahead like he was awaiting mission details.

"We ... we think we figured out a way to help you, to help you remember who you were, completely."

"We?" Bucky asked. "This the kid's idea?"

Steve nodded, recognizing that Bucky trusted Steve, but so far the Winter Soldier only trusted Fitz. Realizing this, Steve looked up at the camera and tilted his head. The door to the room opened and Fitz walked in, Loki's staff in his good hand.

"I'm 26, I'm not a kid, don't know why I have to keep telling people that," Fitz muttered, sitting down next to Steve.

"From what you guys tell me I'm about 95," Bucky countered.

"Me too," Steve added, smiling smugly.

"You're both incorrigible," Fitz muttered then looked at Bucky. "You want your memories back or not?"

Bucky's tiny smile disappeared. "How?"

Steve left it to Fitz to explain.

"All right, do you know what this is?" he asked, laying the staff on the table in front of them.

"I know it's a weapon of some kind that Hydra was studying."

"It belonged to Loki, Asgardian alien, led the Chitauri invasion, tried to take over the world, amazing hair. Anyway, he used this staff to mind control people to help him."

Bucky's posture went defensive and Steve noticed him push back his chair an inch as though to run; he was suddenly happy Bucky had insisted his arm remain offline in case this went bad.

"No Bucky we're not going to do that to you, I swear. We're telling you this so you can choose what you want to do. Just ... just hear Fitz out, please."

"It'll be your choice," Fitz promised, nodding encouragingly. Bucky took several deep breaths and then nodded for Fitz to continue.

"So, Loki used the staff to control people but we don't think that's all it can do. It works with a mix of magic and science at the whim of whoever's using the staff. We think we can use it on you to restore your memories."

Bucky still looked wary but licked his lips, thinking over what Fitz had said. "What happened to the people who he used it on?"

"They're fine, all of them. We defeated Loki and the mind control wore off, they're all themselves again," Steve said. "One of them even got cured by a hit to the head."

"So even if it works it won't be permanent?" Bucky asked.

"Actually I think it would be. Mind control is something forced upon someone that the mind naturally rejects, kind of like how you've rejected Hydra in the last few days. But your mind wants to recover your memories, it's already trying on its own, the staff's power would just help rebuild them for you and then they'd be yours. You'd be Bucky Barnes again, or at the very least you'd remember who he was."

"And you think this will work?"

Fitz nodded. "I do."

Bucky looked at Steve. "Do you think I should do this?"

"It's your choice Bucky. We're not Hydra, we won't force you, if you don't want this, we don't do it."

Bucky blinked and looked down at the table where the tablet was still open to a picture of Steve when he weighed 90 pounds. The article said that man was his best friend, that Bucky had died to protect him and that it had been his choice. The Winter Soldier didn't know how to make choices, but Bucky Barnes did. And he had made some good ones. History remembered him as a hero. That man, that man who died for others, he deserved to live.

"I want to be ... someone," he said eventually. "Bucky Barnes seems as good a man as any. I'm willing to try."

"Great, that's great Bucky."

Bucky clenched his fist unconsciously and looked between the two of them.

"So, what do we do?"

"According to the reports and a few tests Simmons and I ran on some lab animals (they're all fine by the way) the staff needs physical contact with the subject and the staff bearer's thoughts dictate what happens from there. So um you should probably stand up and come around here." Fitz pulled out a scanning tablet and laid it on the table then picked up the staff while Bucky slowly walked around to stand in front of the two of them.

Steve stood as well, his eyes going wide when Fitz held out the staff to him.

"Me? You want me to do it?"

"Well yeah."

"You're the scientist," Steve hissed.

"And you're his best friend. I told you, the staff reacts to the one using it. No one wants Bucky to get his memories back more than you and you're the only one who knows who Bucky really is, literally the only person alive I'd add, who knows what Bucky's like, what he should remember, who he was. It has to be you."

Steve bit his lip and eventually accepted the staff reluctantly while Fitz picked his tablet back up.

"It's easy, touch it against his chest and tell the staff to make him remember who he is."

"Just that easy," Steve mumbled taking a step forward to stand in front of Bucky. "You still okay with this?"

Bucky was finding it hard to form an opinion on the matter and hoped the staff might change that.

"Do it."

"All right, here goes." He leaned the staff forward so it touched Bucky's chest and focussed all his desperation into one thought, the only wish Steve had in the world. "Remember who you are, Bucky."

The end of the staff glowed blue and Steve could see the energy as it travelled up Bucky's skin and directly into his brain. Then he was screaming.

Bucky collapsed forward, falling to his knees and clutching his head.

"Bucky!" Steve yelled, throwing the staff away. He was about to rush forward but Fitz's hand on his arm stopped him.

"No, leave him."

"What's wrong with him? He's in agony!" Steve shouted.

Fitz tapped his tablet bringing up a real time brain scan. "Oh my god."

Peering over his shoulder Steve just saw colors changing. "What does it mean? Is he okay?"

"His ... his neural pathways are rewriting themselves. They're literally shifting, changing. I think ... I just expected his memories to piece back together but this is different. I think the staff is actually changing his mind back into the old Bucky Barnes."

Bucky had his forehead against the floor, gasping more than screaming now as the change continued. Steve stayed back with Fitz, watching on the monitor as the shift of colors slowed and finalized at the same moment that the tension left Bucky's body, leaving him collapsed on the floor.

"Buck? Bucky?" Steve said, moving to his side and rolling him over.

Bucky's eyes were rolled back but he jerked awake quickly, staring at Steve for a moment before looking around the room.

"Steve? Holy hell, where ... are we still on the train? What are you wearing?"

Steve's mouth dropped open and he couldn't reply. Bucky continued to look around, his brow furrowing in confusion when he saw they weren't alone.

"Fitz?" Bucky asked, saying his name slowly with no recognition, instead more like a child repeating a word he'd just learned.

"Uh yeah, hi Bucky," Fitz said, waving awkwardly.

Bucky tried to sit up and looked over to see why his left arm didn't move, finding only a dead metal weight where his arm had been. His breathing became heavier and his eyes glistened with tears as he looked at Steve.

"Steve, what's going on? I thought I had a bad dream but ... I think it might have been real and I'm kind of freaking out here."

Steve ignored his questions and lunged forward, pulling Bucky into a tight hug. He felt like an asshole but didn't care. Bucky was alive and he was Bucky again, his Bucky, a part of his life he had thought he'd lost forever. Steve knew he had a lot of explaining to do, but as he held Bucky in his arms and felt his best friend's wrap around him in return, he couldn't seem to care.


Some long explanations and a wide array of tests from both Fitz and Simmons eventually declared Bucky was as much of himself as he would ever be. After explaining what happened Steve questioned him on events, dates, private memories that wouldn't be in any file. Bucky remembered them all, even providing details that Steve had forgotten.

That didn't make him completely Bucky though, parts of the Winter Soldier still lingered, and not just his nagging injuries. Bucky remembered everything the soldier remembered but explained that none of it felt like memories that had happened to him. It felt more like a movie he had watched, just images and scenes that he felt no emotional connection to. It didn't feel like things he had done, it just felt like things he knew for some reason. And that was fine with Steve and it was fine with Bucky as well, though he would have preferred no memories at all after they explained what had happened to him.

They landed in New York and Steve took FitzSimmons with him when they drove to Avengers Tower where Tony was waiting with a newly designed bionic arm and a team of the world's best surgeons to implant it. Steve had worried the two young scientists might annoy Tony but he underestimated how much Tony loved hearing how smart other smart people thought he was and took the scientists under his wing, welcoming their help in making some modifications to the final arm designs. Fitz almost passed out and Steve was pretty sure Simmons popped a blood vessel from excitement. He was just happy the attention was off Bucky who was trying to stay out of the spotlight after finding out he was stuck in the future, almost everyone he knew was dead and Hydra had been using him as an assassin for 70 years. Steve could relate to the confusion and they talked for long hours about how the world had changed. Steve caught him up on some events, but Bucky had flashes of memory from each decade as the Winter Soldier and was even able to tell Steve some things he knew from personal experience, like, "Hippies were weird."

"They call them hipsters now," Steve added.

The new arm was installed the next day. It was strange to say that Bucky felt lighter with it on, more complete. In the gym he found out he had retained the Winter Soldier's muscle memory, executing take-downs and fighting moves he had never known as a Howling Commando, as well as a wealth of knife skills and gun knowledge. He could also speak at least four languages that he had found so far, which was strange, but useful.

But the most important things were his memories, all of his memories. He had been a good man as Bucky Barnes, and he had been a good weapon as the Winter Soldier, now he had to be both somehow, he had to make amends for what he had done. And he thought he knew just how to do it.

After his arm, body and mind passed the final physical checks he and Steve visited Coulson and his team, who gladly gave Bucky the floor when he asked to speak, Steve standing behind him in support.

"I owe you all a lot and I wanted to say thanks, for helping me become myself again, in both body and mind and I want you to know that I'm not gonna waste this ... this second chance. Third, I don't know. I'm going to make it count. Anyway, Hydra did this to me, made me a weapon, and they're still out there but they made one big mistake, they made a weapon that's about to backfire because I know everything the Winter Soldier knew. I know what Hydra's done," he looked at Fitz pointedly, "I know what Garrett's done, I know who they are and I know where they're hiding, and I intend to hunt them down and destroy every last one of them. The Winter Soldier worked alone, but Bucky Barnes worked best on a team and I'd like to keep that tradition alive, on this team, if you're interested."

Coulson shared a look with his team who each nodded in turn.

"When do we start?"

The end.

Hope you enjoyed! Glad I was able to sneak one more whump in there. That one was for me.