Okay, some things you should probably know before reading this chapter…

1) Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

2) This is the longest chapter yet. Sorry about that, but I just had to keep both POVs. It makes more sense that way.

3) The original draft for this chapter was riddled with much more cursing…Thank Kelly for bringing me down a notch, lol

4) I'm not that inventive with foul language, so I have a challenge for you at the end of the chapter. See if you can help me out 

5) This chapter took a lot of blood, sweat, and late night instant message convos. Please recognize that I actually thought this through and am not just trying to punish Edward on a whim.

Edward-lovers, this had to happen…the end of NM never made much sense to me, so this is my effort to make it a little more believable…please stick it out with me. IT WILL GET BETTER!

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To be weak is the true misery

-Thomas Carlyle

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Chapter 4

Bella POV

I began to drift and I knew the nightmare was coming.

I hadn't seen Jacob in hours and the presence of the rest of the Cullens coupled with Edward's impending arrival would undoubtedly make the nightmare ten times worse.

Jake…I owed him so much. What my weakness had done to him…to Charlie…even Renee had suffered because I couldn't pull myself together after Edward left me. I could not afford to be the "delicate flower" anymore, if only for them. I wasn't super strong, super fast…super anything, but that didn't mean that I had to be weak. It wasn't right and if Edward was coming back, then I owed it to them to be as strong as possible.

As I floated away into unconsciousness, I promised myself that if the nightmare came, I wouldn't let it end the same way it always did. I figured this would be good idea for two reasons.

First, Edward was coming and if he could be mad at me for breaking my promise (which he would be, of course…why else would he be coming back?) then I could definitely be mad at him for breaking his, at least in my dreams. How could he have ever thought that it would be as if he never existed? Even if I would never have the guts to tell him how badly he had hurt me in real life, I would at least allow myself to vent to his phantom in my head. If I got it all out, maybe I would be able to think clearly when I had to deal with Edward in the flesh…maybe. On the off chance that it worked, maybe I could stop myself from falling to pieces again and save the ones who cared about me from further heartache at my hand.

Second, I didn't want to wake up screaming in a house full of vampires with super hearing…that would just be embarrassing and Emmett would be sure to rub it in.

...

I don't know how long I slept, but suddenly the delusion began.

My first clue that this nightmare would be worse than normal was the sudden change of the scent in the air. I could smell Edward – I mean, really smell him. The darkness in my mind was flooded with his intoxicating fragrance. I couldn't remember ever having smelled him so vividly in my dreams before, but, I wasn't about to complain. He smelled so good. His scent surrounded me and I breathed deeply so that it could fill my lungs. I had missed that smell so much. The edges of the hole in my chest burned with each breath I took, but I didn't care. I would pay for it later, but at that moment, all I wanted was to drown myself in that sweet aroma.

***

Edward POV

It was perfect.

She was perfect.

We reached the meadow just minutes before sunrise. Bella had always loved the way my skin had glistened in the sunlight. My Bella…always loving those parts of me which I considered to be the most loathsome.

I lay Bella down on the exact spot where she had sat as I revealed to her the effect of the sun on my skin that first time, last year. She was still asleep. I didn't want to wake her just yet. I still needed to think about how to handle this best.

Rosalie had said that Bella had jumped off of a cliff. Bella had promised me before I left that she would take care of herself, but if her appearance was any indication, then she hadn't kept that promise as well as I had hoped. Could it be true that she had done something so reckless? What else had I missed since I had been away? What could I do to make this better?

The thought of Bella in danger had a strange effect on me. All I wanted in the world at that moment was to kiss her, as if somehow that would make everything better. I was reminded of that idiot, Romeo. My Bella was not dead, and I was not about to kill myself, but I could definitely understand Romeo's perspective. I would have died without her. I nearly had. It was only the knowledge that she existed somewhere in the world that had kept me going all those months. If she had left this world then I would have to, without question. Even knowing that she wouldn't have wanted me to end my life would not have deterred me. Now that I could see for myself that Bella was alive, I knew there would be no limit to what I would do to keep her that way. No limit to what I would do to be with her. My selfishness when it came to Bella surprised even me at times.

I loved her and I could not to let her sleep any longer. I had to touch her again…hear my name on her lips again. Maybe after I explained my behavior last fall, she would forgive me. Then she could tell me what possessed her to jump off of that cliff, and I could make whatever was wrong, right again.

That was my hope as I leaned over my sleeping beauty and gently kissed her forehead.

***

Bella POV

I felt cold lips on my forehead. At that, I knew the full blown hallucination was starting.

My eyes fluttered open and I found myself staring into those familiar golden eyes.

"Edward…" was all I could get passed my lips in my surprise.

I wasn't in the Cullen house anymore. I was in our meadow lying on a blanket and there he was.

"Bella…"

My heart stuttered. I knew in the back of my mind that I was dreaming, but this felt real…too real.

I always thought that if he came back, my world would right itself again and everything would go back to the way things were, but lying on that lawn, looking into his eyes, having felt his lips against me again… it was just... too much.

I waited for the joy to come, but instead I felt a sudden wave of cold anger began to wash over me. Why would he kiss me, when he was only going to leave me a moment later? Why would he bring me here to torture me like this? Or was I really just torturing myself? Is this what crazy feels like?

Well, if it was, then there was strength in crazy and I needed to all the strength I could get to avoid falling apart.

"How could you…" I said almost inaudibly and basically to myself. I could feel my cheeks begin to burn as the rage bubbled to the surface. My emotions were at war. My love for Edward battling with the pain of this situation…this place. My mind had brought me to the one place that it would hurt me the most to have this illusion. What was going on with me? My visions of Edward had always involved him trying to protect me or forgiving me for wanting to kiss Jake. The Edward before me now was killing me with the worst form of kindness and I couldn't take much more.

The Edward of my mind looked at me with confusion and pain in his eyes.

"Bella, I'm so sorry that I hurt you." He said as he brushed my cheek with his fingertips.

He was sorry….

Suddenly, all of the pain and anger that I had been able to keep at bay for the past six months began to spill out of my mouth. Part of me wasn't even aware of what I was saying—but the shock of his words was enough to stop me from caring. I stood up and backed away from my apparition, hoping that would help me focus.

"Sorry?...You LEFT! All I wanted in the world was to be with you and love you, and you walk me into the woods and tell me you don't WANT me anymore!!" My mumble suddenly became a shriek. I knew I had never deserved him, but he didn't have to twist the knife by apologizing for my inability to measure up to his perfection.

"I did it to protect you, Bella…"

My arms began to flail around wildly, matching the new found energy in my words. Part of me knew that even for a dream, I was acting like a lunatic. But that part was overruled by the rest of me. It felt so good to get it all out…even if it wasn't real.

"Protect me? Are you nuts??!!?! Do you know what I've been dealing with??!? Victoria has been trying to kill me since you left! She's been weaving her way around the borders of Forks trying to find a way to get to me for months!!!"

At first, Edward looked angry. Why would he look like that in my dream? Even that look was frustrating me and I wasn't sure why. Edward appeared to have had his enitre world knocked out from under him.

"Bella, I didn't know…"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! If it wasn't for—"

That's when my dream took an even stranger turn. As if I had conjured him up – which I guess I had - Jacob appeared, racing toward us from the tree line at my left.

"You, bloodsucking bastard!!" Jacob bellowed. Quicker than I could blink, he closed the space between he and Edward, and punched Edward in the jaw. Edward fell to the ground. Jacob shook his hand angrily.

"Jacob…" if I didn't know he had sensitive hearing, I would have thought he hadn't heard me. Jacob didn't take his eyes off of Edward as he towered over him. The battle within me took on a new fury as I tried to decide between going to Edward to make sure he was alright and going to Jake to make sure he didn't phase.

"You're lucky I don't rip you apart! What are you doing here?!? Thought you would come back and finish the job since you didn't kill her the first time around???!!?!"

My dream Edward's face was tormented as he looked up at Jake with glazed eyes, as if seeing straight through Jake into something else entirely.

"Get away from him, dog!" called an irrate female voice.

I turned to see Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett running into the clearing on my right, opposite from the direction Jacob had come. They came to a stop at Edward's side, but Edward was already getting up. Jacob only moved himself enough to position between me and the young Cullens. Everyone but Alice and Edward looked as if they were bracing for a fight.

"Bring it on, Pup…" Emmett said with a grin as he flexed his muscles.

"Its okay… I deserved that." Edward said as he stood, rubbing his jaw.

"Damn, right, you did!" exclaimed Jacob as his body shook. Edward looked at Jake for a moment, his face becoming hard.

"Make no mistake, Wolf, It won't happen again without breaking the treaty and starting a war…Is that what you want?"

This was too much for my system to process. Edward had to have known that Jake was going to punch him. Why would he let Jake hit him? He obviously wasn't for breaking the treaty with the wolves…Why would he say he deserved it? An anguished moan escaped me as I tried to remain upright, fighting to make sense of all of it.

"Bells…?"

I looked up to find Jacob looking at me. He looked as if all the anger had drained from him when he remembered I was there. He was my Jacob now. He began to approaching me slowly. He must have witnessed some of my tirade, because he acted like I might bite him.

"Bells, are you okay?"

Am I okay… Are you kidding? My voice wasn't cooperating to reply, but, by then, Jake had reached me.

"Don't touch her!" Edward roared, as Jake wrapped his arms around me.

"Stop it, Edward! You have no right—" I screamed, but I didn't have enough strength left to finish my thought. Edward looked conflicted as I felt my knees wobble and the flood gates open. Jake's shirt was soaked in seconds. I just couldn't let my illusion treat Jake that way when Jake was the one who had helped me hold together my broken pieces when the real Edward had realized I wasn't enough to hold him. And Jake had gone out of his way to protect me from Victoria. Even if I didn't love Jake like he deserved, I did love him. He was the best friend I had, and I couldn't bear to let Edward hurt him, even in my head. Besides, he didn't want me. Why could he now dictate who could and could not touch me?

"Bella, please…you don't understand…" Edward began to inch toward Jake and me. I could see his outstretched arms, and I wanted to go to him, but the gaping precipice he'd created in my chest when he left began to ache and I turned my face away, into Jacob's warm body. I peeked out when I felt the growl that came from Jake's gut as Edward took another step forward, his face wavering between anger and pain.

He would have reached us in two more steps if Alice hadn't placed her hand on his arm. Edward turned to look at her. His face wasn't in my line of sight at that moment, but it must have been hostile, because Jasper quickly stepped between them.

"Edward," Alice said as she peeked around Jasper to look at him, "please trust me. You need to let them go. Bella will be okay…there are things we need to discuss."

Edward's eyes traveled from me to Jake and to Jasper before finally resting on Alice.

"Fine." Edward snarled.

I took all of this as a clear sign that it was time for me to wake up. This nightmare was getting out of control and I was nearly certain that I would wake up screaming again—even though my direct intention for altering this dream was to change that.

"Jake, get me out of here…" I whispered through my tears. Not because I didn't want anyone else to hear– everyone other than me had supernatural hearing, so that would have been pointless even if this wasn't some nightmare gone awry– I had just run out of energy. The fire inside me was dying and I didn't trust my self at that moment. In my weakness, I could say something I might not be ready for…even in a dream.

Also, knowing Jacob, he would be arguing with himself as to whether ripping Edward limb from limb was worth starting a war. A war between the two groups of people I loved would have broken me completely even if I only imagined it.

Jacob seemed to decide that what I wanted was more important than killing Edward. He scooped me up into his arms and began to back out of the meadow, never taking his eyes off of Edward. I had no idea where we were going, but I looked forward to waking up after this nightmare was over.

The last thing I saw was the sun's rays hit Edward as it peeked over the trees, causing his beautiful face to glint. A tornado of awestruck longing began blowing through my mind and my vision spun out of control.

Funny, I didn't know you could faint in a dream… was my last thought as I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me.

***

Edward POV

Bella looked at me with surprise, though I wasn't sure why. I knew from Alice's thoughts that she had told Bella I was coming so why was my beloved astonished by my presence?

"Edward…"

I was right. My name on her lips while she was awake was even more striking.

"Bella…"

I heard her heart stutter. I was so happy I was on the verge of laughter. To know that I could still make her heart flutter filled me with triumph. Then she blushed, but her expression continued to perplex me.

At her next words, my joy evaporated.

"How could you…" she muttered, tearing her eyes from mine. Bella seemed to be struggling with herself, making some sort of decision. It hurt to know that she was upset with me, but I had expected it. The sooner I explained myself, the sooner we could heal. Words seemed so inadequate, but I had no idea what else I could do.

"Bella, I'm so sorry that I hurt you." I said, lightly brushing my fingers against her cheek, as I had dreamed of doing again every day while I was away.

Apparently, that wasn't the right thing to say, or do. Bella's face became even more reddened as she stood up and took a step away from me before she spoke again.

"Sorry?...YOU LEFT! All I wanted in the world was to be with you and love you and you walk me into the woods and tell me YOU don't want me anymore!!"

She was right. Even if human love wasn't as strong and permanent as that of a vampire, I was wrong, and had been from the beginning. If I had been stronger when we first met, I would have stayed away from her, and she would have never been in danger in the first place. Unfortunately, there was no way to go back and fix my mistakes. I could only try to explain.

"I did it to protect you, Bella…"

My words sounded hollow even to me, but I would never have expected the violent reaction they elicited from Bella. She became close to hysterical, her arms moving erratically around her.

"Protect ME?? Are you NUTS??!!?! Do you know what I'VE been dealing with??!? Victoria has been trying to KILL me since YOU left! She's been weaving her way around the borders of Forks trying to find a way to get to me FOR MONTHS!!!"

The pain of this knowledge hit me like a ton of bricks. I had convinced myself all those months ago that leaving Bella was the only way to protect her only to find out that it was for nothing. I had suspected that whatever she was going through was my fault, but to know that I had been its direct cause and then abandoned her… the knowledge was crushing.

"Bella, I didn't know…" I didn't deserve to look at her, but I couldn't bear to look away. In the back of my mind, I heard a vaguely familiar male voice spewing a stream of obscenities. Unfortunately, I didn't care to decipher it. It wasn't Victoria, so it wasn't as important as Bella, in that moment.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! If it wasn't for—"

Bella was cut off by the appearance of a muscle bound, russet skinned man from the trees to her left.

I only knew it was Jacob Black from of his thoughts. Apparently, he was the male voice in cursing in my head. When he saw me, his thoughts became much more purposeful. He was going to punch me.

I could have stopped him, but I didn't. I deserved to be hit. I deserved worse. I had left Bella unprotected when she had needed me most…one punch could not possibly inflict the damage I deserved, but maybe the pain would help Bella heal a little.

"You, bloodsucking bastard!!" Jacob roared.

As his fist connected with my jaw, I heard the thoughts of Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett. Apparently, they had just sent Esme and Carlisle to hunt when Alice's visions of Bella's future and my future had gone blank. Esme and Carlisle were too far away to call back, so my siblings had come to find me.

In the mean time, Jacob continued to yell at me.

"You're lucky I don't rip you apart! What are you doing here?!? Thought you would come back and finish the job since you didn't kill her the first time around???!!?!"

It wasn't so much his words that cut me to the quick; it was the images in his head. I was inundated with visions of Bella. She appeared to have wasted away. In several of Jacob's recollections, Bella was holding her sides…as if she would fall apart. What had I done to her?

"Jacob…" Bella said, staring at him as he stood over me.

I will not phase…I will not phase… Jacob began to chant in his head. That explained why Jacob wasn't easily recognizable. He had become a werewolf like his grandfather before him. I would have thrown him across the field away from Bella, but she seemed to care a great deal for him. Besides, my siblings were entering the clearing. If he did anything to put Bella in danger, Emmett, Jasper, and I could take care of the animal, treaty be damned.

"Get away from him, dog!" Rosalie yelled as my siblings ran to my side. Emmett was thrilled at the thought of a fight. Rosalie was mad that I might be murdered before she could officially apologize to me. Jasper was mainly concerned with the harm a possible fight might bring to Alice. Alice was…singing a children's song in her head…in mandarin, blocking me from going any further into her thoughts.

"Bring it on, Pup…" Emmett grinned and flexed his muscles. I needed to head him off before he got a little too excited and did something stupid.

"Its okay… I deserved that." I said as I righted myself, rubbing my jaw. This kid was stronger than I had thought.

"Damn, right, you did!" exclaimed Jacob as his body shook. I looked at him, listening to his thoughts to determine his next move.

Just give me a reason, parasite…that felt good and I wouldn't mind doing it again…

"Make no mistake, Wolf, it won't happen again without breaking the treaty and starting a war…Is that what you want?" I steeled myself for his response, but Bella derailed his train of thought with a tortured groan. Jacob turned to my beloved.

"Bells?"

I can't believe she stood up to the life destroyer…

"Bells, are you okay?"

She definitely needs me now, though…

Jacob moved as if to touch my Bella. Even if he had stopped quivering, he still had no excuse to lay a hand on her. I may have devastated her with my asinine decision to leave, but she still belonged to me. She always had, and always would.

"Don't touch her!" I howled, as Jake wrapped his arms around my Bella. I was momentarily paralyzed by her reply.

"Stop it, Edward! You have no right!"

How could she say that I had no right? Pain was rolling off of her in waves. I could hear Jasper's thoughts as he tried to calm her, but it didn't seem to be working. My darling Bella was aching because of me. If I could just clarify my intentions, maybe I could still fix this mess. Maybe she didn't know Jacob was dangerous…

"Bella, please…you don't understand…" I said as I slowly walked toward her. She was still wrapped in the beast's arms and though I had every intention of removing her from that hazardous location, I didn't want Jacob to lose control and phase while she was there.

I reached for Bella, but she turned away from me. The dog growled. I kept coming. Nothing was going to stop me from saving Bella…until Alice grabbed my arm. I turned to her with murder in my heart. I loved her, but couldn't she, of all people, see that this was a possibly deadly situation for Bella?

Jasper must have felt the heat of my emotions toward Alice, because he swiftly slid between us.

"Edward," Alice said as she peered around Jasper's side to look me in the eye, "please trust me. You need to let them go. Bella will be okay…there are things we need to discuss."

Her mind flashed with several images. From the times that Alice had seen Jake and Bella together, she honestly believed he wasn't going to hurt her, as long as I didn't provoke him further. Then she thought of Victoria, who had, it appeared, somehow heard part of the argument between Bella and me. Victoria now knew that my entire family was back and that we knew she was here and after Bella.

We need to go talk to Carlisle, Edward.

I looked at my Bella. She was so brave, but I could tell she was breaking inside. This reunion hadn't gone at all the way I had hoped. Perhaps after we had taken care of Victoria, I could try again.

I glanced at Jacob. He was on the edge. If I pushed him too far, he would break the treaty and gladly take whatever punishment his Alpha dealt out.

Jasper was still standing between Alice and me. He felt my anger and frustration and thought Alice might still be in danger. I hated the fact that my brother thought I would ever hurt the love of his life.

I did my best to calm myself as I turned my attention back to Alice. She had gone back to blocking her thoughts, this time reciting President Harrison's Inaugural address. The only way I would be able to decipher the rest of her thoughts later was if I let her have her way now. President Harrison's address was the longest in history and after she was done, I had a feeling she would just start translating it into Russian if I kept trying.

"Fine" I said, resigning myself to trusting Alice yet again.

"Jake, get me out of here…" my beloved whispered and my immortal heart was pierced with yet another pinion.

The wolf picked her up and began to back out of the meadow, making sure that I didn't try to stop him. Just before they disappeared into the trees, the sun rose above the tops of the trees and shone in my face.

Even on the opposite side of the meadow, I could hear Bella's heart stutter again. Then Jacob crossed the tree line and she was gone.

I turned back to Alice.

"This had better be good." I muttered, then spun on my heel and began to run back toward the house. The sooner I got to Carlisle, the sooner I could get Bella away from the canine usurper.

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Author's note: As previously noted, I am not the most creative when it comes to insults. Both Kelly and I agree that when Jacob calls Edward a "Bloodsucking bastard", it isn't strong enough. The problem is that neither of us can come up with anything that would work better. So my challenge to you is to come up with better insult. I will edit the best one into the story : )

Don't forget to review, please!

Check out my profile for a link to the playlist ; )

P.S. That fact about Harrison's inaugural address?

It's true….you can google it ;p