Peach Viewer Mail
Episode 4: Jokes

"Hello, welcome to Peach Viewer Mail!" said Peach. "The audience is very excited today!"

Peach looked at Link, who was blindfolded, and tied to a chair.

"Give yourselves a round of applause!" said Peach, cheerfully.

Peach opened a sound file on her computer, which sounded like an applause track.

"Yay!" said Peach.

Peach smiled dumbly at the camera.

"Letter one!" said Peach.

Peach opened her e-mail program.

"Dear Peach,

Since you've cut the phone cables, your e-mail program doesn't work,

Please Die,
The Phone Company
"

Peach looked angrily at Link.

"Bowser, can you fix this?" asked Peach.

"First of all Peach, I'm not Bowser, and I can't exactly fix your computer because I've been BLINDFOLDED!" said Link to Peach, in an exasperated tone.

"Well, I guess you'll have to egg the farmer's bacon service provider!" said Peach.

Peach stared blankly at Link.

"You don't get it…" said Peach, to Link.

"No, I don't…" said Link to Peach, angrily.

Peach stared at Link for a while, trying to understand, and then looked at her computer screen.

"Letter 2!" said Peach.

"Dear Peach,

You're so stupid that if there were two of you, your combined IQ would be negative!

Ba-boom TISH!

The Phone Company"

Peach looked at the letter, and then giggled a bit.

"Hehe! Zoo laced laptop!" said Peach.

Peach stared at Link, trying to get out of the ropes tying him up, and then frowned.

"You don't get it…" said Peach.

"No! I don't!" said Link, to Peach.

"Well, everyone gets it!" said Peach.

Jigglypuff ran into Peach's room, and started rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

"See?" asked Peach.

"That's just Jigglypuff! She's almost dumber than you!" said Link, angrily.

Peach opened her cupboard, grabbed Mario (who was gagged), took the rope out of his mouth, and gassed him.

"Ha ha! Ha ha! Oh-a please! Stop it!" said Mario, laughing.

"Is that gas?" asked Link.

"Uh…" said Peach.

Peach took the gas and sprayed the whole room with it, causing everyone to hallucinate and suffocate to death.

"Hello!" said a giant talking hamster in Peach's hallucinations.

"Hello, Hughie the giant hallucinated hamster!" said Peach.

"Hello!" said the hamster. "We're missing one member in the ministry for candy, so I guess you can be part of it!"

"YEY!111" said Peach.

"Oh no! Watch out, it's Sam the Steam Train!" said the talking hamster.

"Aah! I'm going very fast along the tracks and I'm heading for a ditch! Quickly Peach!" said an anthropomorphic steam train.

"Letter three!" said Luigi, flying upside down in a green helicopter.

"Dear Peach,

You are cool.
Does your mom cook special brownies for you when you have a hangover?

Love Mario

PS: I'm Naked," read Ness.

"Cookies!" said Peach.

"THEY ARE COMING!" said Kirby.

"Yay!" said Peach.

The end.
I am so sorry.

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