Thanks to SairsJ for her ever diligent eyes.

This one's a long one... please enjoy.


Andy had to take another deep breath. She was trying not to get frustrated but she was having a hard time. "After…" she paused; she didn't need to say after what, they both knew what happened. "I did ask you if you wanted to talk about it. You said no and walked away."

"I didn't want to talk about it," he maintained. It may have been an answer, but it wasn't a good one and he knew it. Unfortunately, it was the best he could do.

"That's just not good enough anymore," Andy whispered. She pressed her lips together as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Not if this is going to work."

Sam was up and around the couch in a flash. Standing before her, he took her face gently in his hands, his thumb softly wiping away her tear. Any trace of defensiveness was gone from his voice. "I know that Andy, and I want it to work, I do. I meant what I said in the note. I want to try, but you have to get that I'm not just going to be magically good at it. It's not going to be easy and it's definitely not going to be my first instinct."

Andy closed her eyes; she took a deep breath in and then blew it out before opening them back up again. Her head started to shake, mostly at herself. "You're right; I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"No, you have every right to be upset," Sam assured her, strengthening his grip to stop her movements. "I didn't… you deserved better. I was just so angry and I'm not sure I knew myself what it was going to take to get me out of it. I hope, I think I was trying to spare you from my anger because I knew I would blow up about it…"

"Because it was my fault," she mumbled backing away from his touch the guilt proving too much for her.

"What? No, Andy." He closed the space between them again; now that he had gotten his hands on her he was not letting her pull away.

Once more, she was shaking her head. "It's okay, Sam."

"No, it's not," he countered. He hated that he had ever made her think that she was to blame. Yes, he chose to follow her that day, but her instincts, yeah they were wrong that time, but they should never have been in question. "No, it's not. I should have NEVER said that. I was mad at myself…"

"For following my stupid…"

Boy, she just did not give up. Sam placed one hand on each of her shoulders and bent his knees to catch her eye. She was trying to focus on the floor, but he wouldn't let her. When she finally met his gaze, he continued earnestly. "No, it was not stupid. McNally… Andy, it was not stupid alright."

"It wasn't right," she sighed.

"No, but we're not always right," he agreed, heavy on the 'we', "and the bartender was not a stupid choice. He had background, opportunity..."

Her shoulders slumped wearily. "But if we had gone to…"

"Yeah, if," Sam consented his voice growing stronger as he tried to bolster both of them. "And what if I had walked you up to your apartment? Hell, for that matter what if Peck had stayed with Collins instead of you? That bastard would probably still be out there. Or what if we had gone to see the cabbie?"

Andy tried to interrupt; that was her whole point exactly. If they had gone like Jerry asked, he would have never been hurt.

Sam continued before she had the chance. "What if Jerry had brought back up with him? Andy, we're not always right and we're never going to be . And sometimes it costs us, but if we second guess ourselves…" Sam paused to take what he hoped would be a calming breath. "We all made decisions that affected what happened. And I wish to hell he hadn't, but Jerry paid the price." Sam barely got the last bit out. This was the most he had talked about it since it happened and he was struggling. This time Andy took a step forward to place a comforting hand on his cheek.

It gave him the strength he needed to continue. "I wish we were right all the time; I do. But we can only do our best and it will eat us alive if we dwell on our mistakes. It took me a long time, Andy. I blamed…" he felt her hand tense and he was afraid she would pull away again, "…myself Andy, I blamed myself," he explained hurriedly, "for not walking you up, for not making sure Jerry took back-up."

"But if you blamed yourself, why…" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "You just walked away." Her hand started to drop, but he lifted his to hold it in place and leaned into her touch.

His eyes met hers and willed her to understand. "Experience told me that when you let someone get too close when they eventually leave you're left trying to figure out how to make it on your own. So I just always got out first; I needed to be in control. I couldn't get the picture of Nash out of my head. I saw what losing Jerry did to her and I couldn't bear that for either of us."

Andy tugged at her hand again and Sam loosened his grip. He allowed it to drop from his face, but kept hold of it as he pulled her back to the couch. "But, this time," he bent his head to meet her eyes, "this time when the hurt of losing Jerry finally faded a little, I realized that the hurt of losing you was still there." He huffed out a disbelieving chuckle. "So I tried to 'reinvent myself'."

Andy pursed her lips before allowing herself to sit back down. "It looked like you were doing a pretty good job."

"No, I wasn't," Sam disputed dropping down beside her so they were at eye level again. "I was fooling myself. I thought I had the power, the control. I was going to be a new man, someone who didn't miss you, one who didn't…" He watched her eyes widen; he was going to say it again soon but he didn't know if she was ready yet. "And I was always damn good at pretending." He gave a quick shrug. "I had years of experience."

"Fake it 'til you make it," Andy muttered under her breath.

But Sam heard her; in fact, he had heard her and Traci use the saying a few times. "Exactly, but then there was the shooting in booking and I had to know if you were okay. I couldn't pretend that I didn't need to know that you were safe…until you reminded me that it wasn't my job anymore," he added dejectedly before clearing his throat and continuing fervently. "And you were right; I gave up every right to know, but that didn't stop me from…" He shook his head, "so I tried again to be that new man hoping it would get easier the longer I tried. But then you had to put your hands around that damn bomb and I knew. I knew that I could try and fool myself all I wanted, but deep down… you were still in my heart, you were." He lifted his hand to touch her face again. "And I really didn't have any choice in the matter."

"I mean it Andy. When I saw you with that bomb," his thumb caressed her face, assuring him that she was still there, "I could have lost you completely. And I realized I couldn't imagine my life without you in it. And I didn't want to. Right then I knew that all my stupid reasons were gone and it didn't matter; I wanted to take the chance. And I knew I had to say it." He smiled softly at her as he rolled his eyes. "Again, stupid, like not saying it to you before had meant it wasn't real; that I wasn't in too deep already." He brought his free hand up to cradle her face and held her steady as he looked into her eyes. "Andy, I'm pretty sure I've loved you for a long time now. So I had to say it and it wasn't heat of the moment; it wasn't because I thought I was going to lose you. It was because I had lost you and I wanted you back. I never said it before you because I never felt it before you. I never said it to you because I was afraid of how true it really was." He watched a single tear fall from her eye and he felt it drop onto his hand. He swallowed hard but his gaze never wavered. "I love you Andy, I do."

He held her eyes as he began to lean in closer, his lips seeking out hers. He was almost there; he could feel her breath mingling with his. But then she dropped her eye and he froze.

"Sam, I…" she paused and he could feel the heat rush to her cheeks before she dared a quick glimpse up at him. "That was… you…" she giggled self-consciously, "that was good, you did really good."

Sam chuckled in understanding as he shifted his body away to give her some space. "You don't have to say it back, okay? I know I screwed up and I know your feelings might have changed."

Andy looked at him fearfully. She wanted to say it; she knew she felt it. But he still scared her. "Sam I…"

He shook his head. "I meant it when I said I wished I was more like you, you care about… everyone. And you do it so freely instead of always holding back and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everyone I cared about most in life I lost, and I couldn't bear to lose you." He could feel the moisture pricking at the back of his eyes. "But then I did. I just want that chance, Andy, to make it up to you, whatever it takes. Can you give me that chance?"

Andy's heart was warring with her head and he deserved to know that. "I want to and I can see that you're trying; we both need to try. But I need to know that you're not just going to walk away if it gets hard. I'm just not sure how to trust that."

Sam nodded. He got that; he did. But he hoped it was worth her taking a chance too. "Andy you're the most caring person I know, the most giving. I watched you forgive your father, you let your mother back into your life, and you seem to be putting the past behind you with Callaghan. I'm also pretty sure you would have forgiven me if I hadn't made that damn joke…" God he hated his sarcastic mouth sometimes. "Can we just disregard… please?"

"It's really not the same, not even with Luke," she doubted. She wrinkled her brow as she tried to figure out the best way to put it. "With him, it was more the humiliation than the hurt, but Sam…." She pulled in a shaky breath as her eyes drifted closed.

He reached out a tentative hand to place on the ones she held in her lap. "I know."

She stared down at their hands. "I can't go through that again, Sam; I can't."

He gave her hands a squeeze and when she didn't look up, he gave them a tug. Reluctantly her focus lifted and when she finally looked up at him he put everything he had into making sure she knew without a doubt. "Neither can I."

Andy sucked in a watery breath; he was making it so hard not to just jump into his arms and scream yes, but she needed to know one more thing. "You've always been there for me, even when we weren't together," she explained. "And all I wanted was to be there for you." She found his gaze again and held on for dear life. "Can you let me be there for you?"

"I'll try, Andy I promise," he pledged hopefully. "What do you want to know? Ask me anything."

"Oh my God, Sam…"

His whole body froze in fear.

"What time do you have to work tomorrow?"

Sam chuckled awkwardly. "Well, that wasn't really what I was expecting…"

"You need to go," she blurted.

Sam was totally lost; he was certain she was going to give them that chance. "What? I thought…"

She had been looking over his shoulder and when she finally focused back on him, she realized that he had misunderstood. "Sam, it's getting late and you have to work early tomorrow."

He let go of the breath he had been holding, relief flooding through him. "Oh." He looked down at his watch surprised to find that it was well past midnight. "Okay, well, I think it's time I started following through on my promises then. Can I make you dinner tomorrow night?"

"No," Andy shook her head. "I don't think that's necessary."

Sam stood almost dejectedly; he wasn't sure what else he could do. He really thought they had gotten somewhere. He steeled his resolve and lifted her to her feet abruptly; he couldn't just leave without knowing he left it all on the table. "I'm willing to do…"

"I don't want you do to everything," Andy interrupted knowing exactly where he was going with this. "I don't need you to do everything."

Sam nodded softly as he watched her hand drop from his.

"Hey," she nudged him with her shoulder and he looked back up at her. "We're in this together," she clarified, "or at least I want us to be."

Sam allowed himself a little bit of hope and waited on baited breath for her to continue.

"We make a good team right? Partners?"

He nodded eagerly.

"So it's not just on you to do it all," she explained with a grin and a quick shrug. "Besides I'm off. You shouldn't have to work all day and then come home and cook while I sit and do nothing."

Home… that sounded really good. "How many days do you have off?" He asked as seriously as he could; his new found optimism getting the better of him.

"Two weeks. Have to see the shrink, get cleared for duty again; I'm sure you know the routine," she explained, baffled by the smile that was growing on his face.

"Does that mean I can look forward to you cooking for me every day, you know since you're off and all," he teased.

Andy's chin dropped down as her eyebrow creeped up. "Are you telling me you have to work two weeks straight with no time off?"

Sam tucked his tongue into his cheek sheepishly. "Well, no."

"So you can cook for me then, or you could always take me out," she challenged. They had never really done anything like that, and Andy couldn't help but smile at the idea of a real date. She tried to tamp it down but the sparkle never left her eye. "But tomorrow I am cooking for you and maybe we can make a dent in that photo album."

"Oh, okay," Sam agreed but they could both sense his hesitance.

"Don't worry." She picked up his hand and let him towards the door before turning to face him. "I'll take it easy on you the first night," she promised.

Sam tugged her in closer. "I'm counting on it," he whispered, his voice that perfect mixture of rough and smooth.

The color flooded Andy's cheeks as her free hand jumped to his chest. "Sam," she cautioned. She knew he knew what she meant and as much as she missed the tease between them, she also didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep.

"What?" Sam murmured, his gaze bouncing between her lips and her eyes.

"You should get some sleep."

His glance stalled on her eyes. Sleep was the last thing on his mind but he knew he had to respect her need to protect herself, which got him thinking; he furrowed his brow. "Should I… do I… are people going to know you're back?"

"What difference does it make?" She wondered.

"Just wondering if I should I say anything, if people ask?"

"I hadn't really thought about it." And she hadn't; Traci and Sam knew but was she ready to hear from everyone?

"Peck will know Collins is back," Sam assumed. "Are you calling the others or…?"

"Oh No!" Andy stuttered backwards a little.

They were still locked in a partial embrace so Sam pulled her in close again. "What's the matter?"

"I didn't call my dad," she moaned regretfully.

Sam smiled, happy that it wasn't anything he'd done or said. "I'm pretty sure he was headed out of town for a couple of days."

Andy's eyes widened. "How did you…"

Sam shifted uncomfortably, letting go of her to rub his hand along the back of his neck. "Well, I took your Christmas present over to him."

Andy rolled her eyes as she remembered her poor choice of gifts for this year. "Guess I'll owe him one on that one."

"No, it's fine. I, uh, returned the hockey tickets and got him Raptors tickets instead," Sam explained.

"Really?" She was touched. "Thank you."

"It was no problem, Andy, really."

Then why was he acting so sheepish? "Are you sure?"

"Well, exchanging the tickets wasn't a problem, but…"

"Bu-ut?"

"Your dad wasn't really happy to see me," he clarified.

"Yeah?" Andy was confused. Her father had asked her why Sam didn't join them for supper a couple of times, but she made up some lame excuse. She knew he probably had his suspicions but she hadn't gone into detail at all.

"I couldn't blame him," Sam shrugged, "at first he thought…"

"Oh No." Andy's eyes grew wide as she realized what a visit from a cop could possibly mean.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "I never even thought when I first went over; I mean I wasn't even in my uniform. But after I explained that you were okay, or at least that I thought you were he tried to kick me out. I asked him if he'd heard from you; initially, I wasn't sure if he had or not, or if he just didn't want to tell me."

"Wait!" Andy interrupted. "I could have done that? Asked to contact him?"

"Not directly, but yeah," Sam affirmed, "you could have asked them to get a message to him just to let him know you were okay. I used to do that with Sarah; I'm all she has outside her family so…"

Andy started to feel guilty and mumbled, "I should have… I hope…"

Sam tugged on her hand which he had not let go of. "Andy, you didn't know; it's fine. Your dad was a cop; he knows how this works. He told me later he called your mother to ask if she'd heard from you; she told him that you had talked about the task force and he figured it out. I just confirmed it for him. And I promised him that if I heard anything that I would call him. I've checked in with him a couple of times and he's doing okay."

Andy offered him a small smile of gratitude. "I didn't really tell him much about, well, you know."

"Yeah, I figured that when he asked what happened."

"Did you… I mean what did you say?"

"I told him I was an idiot," Sam answered matter-of-factly, "but that I intended to correct that as soon as you got back."

"Oh yeah," Andy smirked. "And what did he say to that?"

"That… is a story for another time," Sam hedged, not ready to share just how secure Tommy was in his daughter's future with him.

"You know, I can just ask him," Andy warned.

Sam knew she was right, but decided to call her bluff, at least for now. "It's too late tonight, but you should call him tomorrow and everyone else."

"I'll call Dad tomorrow," she agreed, "or maybe I'll just surprise him, no you said he was gone. I guess I'll call his cell phone," she rambled on before focusing back on Sam. "For everyone else though, I think I want one more day… for just… me, you know?" She hoped Sam knew he was a big part of that. "Maybe we can meet at the Penny the day after tomorrow and I'll talk to them then," she suggested.

Sam was more than willing to go along with that, especially when she said 'we can meet them at the Penny'. "You may want to clue Nash in on your plans though; you know just so she doesn't spill the beans."

"I'll text her."

"Good. So can I bring dessert tomorrow?" He offered the memory of cakes and fires coloring his tone.

"I'll take care of it," she assured him with a huff. "And don't worry you're going like it."

Sam tugged her in close once again. "Oh I'm counting on it," he confirmed with a wink.

"Well, okay then," Andy croaked, clearing her throat before turning Sam towards the door.

He slipped on his shoes. "So I uh, guess I'll see you tomorrow then." He really didn't want to go, but he knew he should. He didn't want to push her into anything even if he could feel her resolve slipping. She had offered supper though so tomorrow it would have to be. He hoped he could fall asleep but he had a feeling he'd either be replaying every word or trying to figure out what to say to her tomorrow.

He motioned towards the door. "Guess, I should…" He really wanted to kiss her, but didn't know yet if he should. They had come a long way and seemed to have agreed to be together, but they hadn't really set down any ground rules so he didn't know what was appropriate.

Andy saved him from his debate by wrapping her arms around him. He was never really a hugger but with Andy it felt right. She felt right; she fit. He pulled her in as close as he could and relished being in her arms. He smiled when he felt her relax into it.

After a few moments, probably longer than they both expected, Andy backed away. "I'll see you tomorrow. Call me when you know about what time… or you know if you get caught up and can't…"

"I'll be here," he vowed.

"Sam…"

"No, Andy. It's pretty much going to take Peck herself..."

She smiled warmly at him. "I get it, but I also know how this works so if…"

"Okay, you're right," Sam conceded, "but just so you know that I'm going to do everything I can to be here."

"I know." Andy leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "See you tomorrow."

"I'm glad you're back," Sam declared openly.

"Me too."

He reached for the door knob and pulled it open, but turned before he could walk out. "Were you ever scared?"

"What?"

"On Dakota, were you scared?"

Andy blew out a breath and tried to shrug it off. "I mean, Nick was there…"

Sam's heart momentarily dropped to his stomach but Andy was unaware of his disappointment as she was too busy watching her stocking foot scuff the floor. "But still, there were a lot of times where I just wanted to hear you say that you believed in me… so I could believe in myself."

She finally dared a glance at him and his eyes were wide in surprise. He quickly recovered. "I always do, Andy."

He watched her eyes cloud over and he knew exactly what she was thinking. "Don't okay? I do. Always have, always will."

"Okay," Andy accepted. "'l… if you want to know, I'll tell you what I can. We can talk about it tomorrow if you want," she offered.

"I want to know everything."

Andy couldn't help but feel reluctant. It wasn't all pretty and there were things she had to do that she…

"Everything you can tell me, even if I won't like it."

"Okay."

"Okay." Sam took a deep breath; he knew if he didn't just do it, he was not going to leave. He chuckled at himself, gave Andy a wink and then headed out.


Andy couldn't stop smiling as she cleaned up the glasses and then went to her room. It had gone well, not perfect but it was… a start.

After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she started to crawl into bed when a thought from earlier in the evening came rushing back. She jumped back up and ducked into her closet sliding the largest box out of the way before pulling at the smaller carton it had been hiding. From the looks of the outside, she really couldn't tell if it had been looked at or not. Lifting the tabs open, she slipped the wooden case out. The post-it note was still affixed to the top but came off easily in her hand. She read the words she had written so long ago. Oliver would definitely love it; she knew that without a doubt. But that's not who she had in mind when she ordered it. She remembered being giddy with excitement at the thought of Sam's reaction when she finally gave it to him. But then she also remembered the disappointment the night she realized that her efforts had been all for naught and that dimpled smile she had so easily imagined might never be directed at the gift or her again. She ran her hand over the smooth, metal plaque; she really thought she had taken it off. She had been holding out hope but as time passed the likelihood of him changing his mind had been slipping away.

She shook her head and slid everything back into place. Time would tell whether the plaque stayed on or off. Her last thought before climbing into bed though - Lucky for Oliver he would benefit from it either way.

Andy propped her pillows up behind her and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. She laughed; there were already at least three texts from Traci asking her how it went.

Andy's eyes rolled up in thought before they dropped back down to the phone. She tapped out a message. 'Good I think – talked some, still need to talk more but it's a start. Cooking him supper tomorrow night.'

The reply was almost immediate. 'That's great.'

'Can you not tell anyone I'm back quite yet? Need a little time with just us. I'll stop by the Penny in a couple of days.'

She had barely sent the request when she received a reply. 'No problem. See you in a couple of days. Happy for you… and him. Want me to call you and tell you how cheerful he is tomorrow?'

Andy laughed out loud. 'Sure,' she typed back.

'Nite Andy. Really glad you're back.'

'Me too, nite.'

Andy then scrolled to Nick's number. 'Hope you had a good night. Call me tomorrow. Not sure if you've talked to her yet, but if you do can you ask her not to say anything. Just need a day or two.'

Again, the reply was almost instant. 'Tried. Didn't have much luck. Not sure she'll take another call or look at a text but I'll ask her to keep it quiet.'

Andy frowned; she had been worried about Gail's reaction. 'Should I do it?'

'Not sure. She's not really apt to do me a favor but not sure she's happy with you either.'

'What did I do?'

'She doesn't believe me about what happened when we were undercover.'

Andy was confused. 'What happened?' She wasn't sure if she was asking him what went on with Gail or what supposedly happened undercover that she was so upset about. Either way she was anxious for his reply.

'I told her we had to play a couple but she didn't believe it was all for show.'

'It was.'

'I know that, but she thinks I left to get some space and figured – doesn't matter. Either she trusts me or not. Can't blame her for being upset but I thought she was going too.'

'You want me to call?' Andy thought she just might anyway. She knew what kind of damage a pissed off Peck was capable of.

'No. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll figure it out. Get some sleep.'

'Nite.'

'Nite.'

Andy plugged her phone in again to make sure it was fully charged for tomorrow and settle down into her bed. It really felt good to be home.


Andy woke up about ten in the morning. She'd had a great night's sleep, probably the best she'd had in a long time. She made herself some breakfast, reminding herself to thank Sam for bringing her the groceries last night. They definitely came in handy.

After she ate, she gave her dad a call on his cell phone. Sam hadn't said where he went but he must have been busy or out of range because he didn't answer. She left him a short message to let him know she was home and asked him to call her when he was back in town. She wanted to make plans to get together and enjoy some of their postponed Christmas traditions. If she was lucky, he'd make her one of his famous breakfasts.

After a quick shower, she wrote herself a list and walked to the grocery store. She found herself smiling as she made the rounds even more so when she got a text from Sam telling her how much he was looking forward to seeing her again tonight.

Andy's happy mood stayed with her for the entire trek home and continued even as she carried out the more mundane tasks for the evening. She was almost giddy as she cut up her vegetables, pre-made her mashed potatoes and got the roast ready to go in. She was really looking forward to showing Sam what she was capable of. She didn't cook often but when she set her mind to it, she really could do it, at least certain things anyway.

It wasn't long before she had everything ready to go. She looked around the kitchen and down at her clothes. After her walk and all of her preparations, she decided another cleanup was in order, for the kitchen and her. She could cook; there was no doubt about it but she just wasn't always overly tidy. She straightened up the kitchen, popped the roast in the oven and headed back to her bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later she emerged with a towel wrapped around her head and pulled out the fixings for her dessert, this time making a conscious effort to keep the mess to a minimum and clean as she went. She had made the base before her shower so all that was left was to whip up the filling.

She looked down at her watch when she was finished; it was about an hour before she expected Sam, just long enough to pop the dessert in the fridge and get herself ready. She hadn't yet decided about her makeup but decided she'd just have to figure that out as she dried her hair.

She had just started setting the table when her phone vibrated on the counter. She bit at her lower lip hoping it wasn't Sam saying he would be held up; he had texted earlier with a time but if something came up last minute... She held her breath as she picked up the phone but exhaled in relief when she saw it was from Traci. She had texted her earlier to tease her about how 'Swarek was smiling and freaking everyone out'.

Andy grinned thinking she was probably just going to be teasing her again but the smile dropped when she read the words: 'He's in a mood. Sorry.'

Crap! 'What happened?'

The response was short but not so sweet: 'Gail Peck.'

Damn it! Andy thought. She probably should have texted Gail herself but she had forgotten all about it; she hadn't even talked to Nick today. Andy thought maybe she could have been upset that she didn't call her and tell her she was back; they were friends after all. But Gail and Nick, they were more than friends and Andy knew the first call needed to come from him. But if she was mad enough to get Sam's ire up… Andy dialed Traci's number.

She didn't even wait for Traci to say hi. "Can you talk?"

"Yeah, hang on."

She listened in as Traci shuffled around and then closed a door. "What happened?"

"Swarek came in and he was in a great mood right up until lunch." She could hear the smile in Traci's voice. "Andy, he's happy; I really hope…"

"Me too, Trace."

"Good because… I like seeing him like this."

"Like?" Andy was fishing but she really wanted to know if he was as glad as she was.

"I know he was happy before, well before… but today he looks like he won the lottery."

A giggle escaped from Andy's lips before she could contain it.

"We got called out to a scene this afternoon," Traci continued. "Gail was paired up with Oliver and they brought the suspect back in. When we all got back to the Barn, Oliver was teasing Sam about being just a little too happy. I'm guessing you asked Nick to tell her not to say anything because I could see it in her eyes, the defiance. I'm not sure why, but she looked completely pissed too and she… it was like the old frosty Gail was back. Anyway Oliver was goading Sam and Gail implied that maybe he had gotten a little something last night. She made it sound like Sam had found someone new and believe me; she was not quiet about it either. You obviously have a lot of people pulling for you two because everyone was on his case; people were not shy with the dirty looks. And Gail, she loved every minute of it. He tried to stare her down, but girl's got balls; I'll give her that. She just winked at him and told him to enjoy his date."

"Great," Andy moaned.

"Of course Shaw chose that moment to invite Sam to the Penny and he had to turn him down because well… he did have plans. Oliver was not impressed and Sam could do nothing but watch him walk away."

"He should have told him."

"He promised you he wouldn't," Traci reasoned.

"I know, but I had no idea…"

"It's done, Andy and they'll all know soon enough but…"

"But?"

"She may have implied something about you and Nick at the end there too."

"May have?"

"Did, she did imply it! She just kept going on and on.

Traci's Flashback

"I'm just saying six months is a long time to, you know," Gail shrugged suggestively, "go without, so good for you Swarek. What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

"If you have something to say Peck, just say it," Sam challenged.

She looked like she was going to blurt out the secret just for spite, but she wasn't done playing with him.

"I'm just saying you deserve a little something. A lot of people wouldn't wait that long. I just hope you know what you're doing. Could be tough to get past this if someone didn't wait?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I do know," she asserted.

Oliver's eyes were bouncing between the two of them and he opened his mouth to find out just how much she knew. But Sam pointed his finger at him and the question died on his lips.

He glared back over at Gail. "You don't."

"I wouldn't be so sure," she sang.

"Well I am."

"And how do you know that?" Gail taunted. "She tell you?"

Sam's fingers were balling up into fists; he just wanted to slam them into something before he let Peck have it. She was really pushing her luck and having fun doing it. But he made Andy a promise. "She didn't… doesn't have to tell me because whatever you think Collins is capable of, Andy wouldn't do that to me."

Gail scoffed but it got caught in her throat when Sam took two steps forward bringing him right into her personal space. "And she sure as hell wouldn't do that to you. I hope you know what you're doing."

He turned and walked away while Oliver stared after him in wonder.

End Flashback

"Great."

"He'll be fine Andy; he went straight to our office after that. I tried to talk to her but I'm pretty sure she's pissed at the world. Nick for leaving, you for being with him…"

"Hey, I…"

"Andy I know that but I just don't think she believes it. And now she's pissed at me for knowing you guys were back too."

"But Nick talked to her last night," Andy reasoned.

"Not saying it makes sense."

"I'm not sure what to do with her," Andy complained.

"Don't worry about that; it'll work itself out. The important question is what are you going to do with Swarek?"

"Traci."

"Come on Andy."

"I told you; we're having supper."

"Dessert?"

"Yes, Traci there will be dessert," Andy confirmed, "but not what you have in mind."

"We'll see what's on your mind after you get Swarek alone for a few hours," Traci taunted.

Andy cleared her throat. "Gotta go."

"Yeah, yeah," Traci chuckled. "Details at the Penny tomorrow." She wasn't asking.

Andy couldn't help but laugh back. "Have a good night."

"You too," Traci singsonged.


Everything was ready and now all she needed was Sam. The vegetables and potatoes were staying warm in the oven, the gravy was simmering on the stove and she was just about to cut up the roast when she heard the knock.

She walked to the door and took a deep breath before opening it. She watched as Sam took a deep breath of his own.

"Seriously?"

She wrinkled her brow in confusion. "What?"

"I was sure it was one of your neighbors getting roast."

"Gee, thanks," Andy grumbled.

"You set a cake on fire," he muttered in his defense.

"Okay, so I'm not perfect," she conceded, ushering him through the door, "baking was never my thing. But there are some things I can cook and this happens to be one of them. I may not have had the most orthodox childhood, never baked cookies with my mom, but we did have a Sunday supper whenever we could. It took Dad and I awhile and there was a lot of," she chuckled softly at the memory, "trial and error but roast was one of our favorites."

Sam leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Mine too."

Andy grinned, even happier with her choice for the night. Sam held out a bottle of wine for her. "I told you, you didn't need to bring anything."

Sam shrugged a single shoulder. "I know… I just…"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. So what else did you and your dad perfect?" He wondered making his way toward the kitchen. "And why didn't you tell me before?"

Andy returned his grin. "I don't know; I mean we ate at the Penny a lot and you liked to cook. I did make supper a couple of times," she recalled.

"Not a roast."

"Well, I'm glad I finally got a chance," she avowed.

"Me too," Sam agreed, the look in his eyes telling her that his happiness had little to do with the possibility of roast.

They held each other's gaze for a few seconds before Sam cleared his throat. "So can I do anything to help?"

Andy shook herself out of her stupor. "Do you want to slice up the roast while I get the rest on the table?"

Sam glanced over at the table and then back at her; he tilted his head and lifted a brow. "Sitting at the table…fancy."

"Shut up," she grumbled good-naturedly angling him towards the roast on the counter. "I thought it would be nice."

"It is nice," Sam agreed, "and I'd love to do the roast for you."

Andy got everything to the table and Sam followed soon after with the plate of meat. They dished up their meals and Sam poured them each a glass of the wine he brought. He lifted his glass up clinking it against hers. They shared a smile and a wordless toast.

Andy waited to watch Sam dig in and was glad to see that he appeared to be enjoying it. He was right; she usually went for what was quick, but when she had the time she did appreciate a good home cooked meal. She was about to ask him what he thought when he beat her to the punch.

He pointed an accusing fork at her. "You've been holding out on me."

Andy giggled. "Most of the time we were running from work or hurrying to work so we didn't have a lot of time," she defended. He also spent a lot of his days off on his own, but she decided to keep the meals he missed to herself.

He must have seen something in her eyes though. "Guess that's what I get for being so… busy all the time."

Andy offered him a smile of understanding; they couldn't go back now and she didn't want to dwell.

When supper was done, they took their wine glasses to the living room. Sam was full and asked Andy if they could hold off on the dessert. "Of course," she agreed, but when he asked what they were having, she told him he would just have to wait and see.

They settled on the couch. "So, um…" Andy wasn't sure what they should talk about. They normally talked about their day and the cases but she had no idea what had even been going on at Fifteen.

Sam smiled and took her hand. "Ask."

"Tell me something. I don't know," she shrugged, "what happened while I was gone? How was the detective's exam?"

"Why? You gunning for my job?"

Andy blushed. "No. I just…"

"It was hard," he answered. "I don't know how Nash did it with a kid and a full time job to boot. It's been a long time since I was in school."

"You're glad though?" Andy wondered. She had an idea of why he might have done it and she was grateful. But if she was in fact part of the reason, she didn't want him to regret it later. "I mean you always said it was a lot of paperwork and not enough action."

"It's good. It is a lot of paperwork too, but I don't know; it's different than I thought, not bad just different. So far we've been pretty busy and Nash is a good partner. She keeps us up with the paperwork so we don't get too far behind. It's probably going to get interesting when we have one of our first court cases, but I think we'll be okay."

"You'll be great," Andy assured him. "Can't wait to see you in action," she added with a grin.

Sam's dimples dipped into his cheeks as he quirked an eyebrow in suggestion.

Andy slapped him playfully as a blush colored her cheeks. "You know what I mean."

Sam chuckled. "Not much to see really."

"I'll be the judge of that," Andy teased back.

Sam cleared his throat; they were wandering into dangerous territory.

Andy could feel it too so she ventured into something she thought would be a little safer. "Is Noelle back yet?"

"Not yet; she's still got a few months left in her maternity leave."

"Maybe I can go over and visit her while I'm off. I'd love to see Olivia again." She hadn't seen her since well before she left.

"She's really cute," Sam insisted.

"Sam Swarek, you got a soft spot for babies?" She taunted.

"Well, thanks to someone; I spent my New Year's Eve with this particular one." Sam's eyes started to twinkle. "Plus it's pretty hard to resist dimples like that."

Don't I know it, she thought. And he did too by the looks of the ones he was sporting right now.

Andy's head dipped down to try and mask the color invading her own cheeks. "Yeah, sorry about that," she apologized sheepishly.

Sam waved her off. "It's okay. It was nice of you to offer; they really did appreciate it. It was good to see them both relax; I stayed and had a drink with them when they got home too. Lucky for me, Olivia didn't even wake up until after they got home." He chuckled at the look on Noelle's face when she found out all he had done was watch TV. "Williams was pretty disappointed."

"And before? She wasn't worried about leaving you alone with Olivia?"

"Well I have been around kids before McNally; there were Sarah's and Oliver's. It's been a few years but it's not like things change."

Andy just stared at him; that didn't sound like Noelle.

Sam shook his head and smirked. "After Frank told her it was going to be me, I swear she wanted to call my sister for a reference. Oliver wouldn't tell me if he had to vouch for me too."

Andy chuckled, now that was more like it.

"She's a pretty good kid and at that age, they don't do a whole lot."

"Well they do a few unpleasant things."

Sam scrunched up his nose. "Yeah and next time you get to do the dirty work."

Andy dropped her chin in challenge. "I didn't realize I had volunteered for more than once."

"Oh… I…"

Andy winked at Sam and he knew he'd been had.

"I'll let Noelle know when I go to visit. I'm looking forward to seeing you in action."

"McNally," Sam grumbled in warning. "You better be careful what you wish for cause if you want action..."

She pushed at his arm. "Stop it. You know what I meant. Now tell me, did you sing her to sleep or play peek-a-boo."

She could have sworn she saw a little color in his cheeks.

Sam just shook his head. "So tell me… how was Dakota? You said you were scared."

The light dropped from her eyes and Sam was almost sorry that he had chosen this particular subject to get himself off the hook. But she didn't give him a chance to take it back.

"It was… really different. We had done a little UC before but it was nothing like this. All those other times, it was just a few hours at a time, but this one… man, some days it felt like it was 24/7. It was pretty exhausting and you couldn't even take good care of yourself."

Sam knew well what she was talking about. "You look like you lost a little weight."

"I did," she agreed, "but hopefully a few more suppers like this will take care of that. I really want to get back to the gym too."

"You still look great."

Andy was pretty sure she didn't but she appreciated the sentiment. "Thanks."

"So what was your role in it? Can you tell me?"

"It was a pretty big organized crime ring we were going after, but Nick and I had the least amount of experience so they didn't really throw us too far into the fire. Still, the closer we got to the bust the scarier it got; we started getting pulled further and further in."

"Did you…" Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "Did you and Collins stay together; were you a team."

Andy placed her hand on top of Sam's. "We were all in teams of two; they wanted everyone to have backup. It made sense for Nick and me to work together because we were familiar with each other already. We did play a couple and that was probably the hardest part. I mean, Nick is great but…"

"But?"

"I don't know; it's not really easy to fake that. We practiced a bit before they pulled us in. I'm sure it was tougher for other people who didn't really know each other going in."

"Practiced?" Sam thought back to their stint as Gabe and Edie and how easily it seemed to come to the two of them even before they were together.

Andy shrugged. "Just holding hands, walking together just trying to look comfortable you know?"

"I think so. I usually worked alone so I never really had to worry about it."

Andy started to fidget a little. Sam could feel her discomfort and gave her hand a squeeze. He had a feeling this might be the part he wasn't going to like.

She took a deep breath. "Just so you know I did have to kiss him some while we were on the job," she admitted nervously. "But right from the start we agreed that we weren't going to put on a show and go over the top," she added quickly.

Sam nodded; he didn't trust himself not to say the wrong thing. He was trying to be understanding but he didn't even like thinking about what kind of show they might need to make it believable.

"It's the last thing you probably want to hear and the last thing I want to talk about, but I want you to know that I've never thought of Nick that way, ever. When we would come back to the apartment, we still used our cover names but we slept separately and we never… and he never saw me..."

"Andy, I get it," Sam interrupted, the pictures becoming too vivid in his mind, "part of the job."

"Exactly," she agreed and then quickly changed the subject. "So, you're turn again. Is Oliver still staying with you or has he found someone new?"

"That's right; you left that night."

Andy's eyes narrowed in confusion. "That night?"

"The night you left, Becca had sort of asked him to meet her at the Penny but then..."

"Oh my God," Andy yelped. "He's with Nicholson? But I thought… I mean you were… and she was touching…"

Sam squeezed Andy's hand again. "Take a breath, McNally."

Andy shook her head as she tried to get her breathing back under control. "I just didn't realize she liked him."

Sam always thought Andy was cute when she got flustered but he had no idea why Oliver's love life would have that effect on her. "She was hanging around before you left."

"Yeah, you," Andy mumbled, "or at least that's what I thought."

"What?"

Andy huffed out a loud breath, embarrassed to admit what she had been thinking. "I thought she was hanging around you and… whatever it doesn't matter, so she and Oliver?"

Sam tried to tamp down the grin, but he couldn't resist teasing her a little. "Were you jealous?"

"Sa-am."

He would take that as a yes. "There was never anything there," he assured her.

"So is it serious?"

"Is what serious?"

"Shawcholson, Olibecca, Becciver?"

"What?" He chuckled out; completely baffled by the alien language she appeared to be speaking.

"Are Becca and Oliver serious?"

Sam's head jerked back in surprise. "Oliver's not with Becca."

Andy's mouth dropped open. "But you just said…"

"I said she asked him to meet her but then you turned all green before I could finish."

"Nice," she griped.

"I always thought you looked good in green," he goaded.

"Ha, you always thought I looked good in…" But she didn't finish.

Anything. Nothing. Either one worked for Sam and they both knew it.

He cleared his throat hoping it would clear the pictures from his mind as well. "That same night Zoe told him she wanted to give them another chance. So he asked me to tell Becca he wasn't coming."

"How'd she take it?"

"She was disappointed but I'm afraid I was a little too wrapped up in my own crap to be nice about it."

"I'm sorry."

"No going back," Sam insisted before launching right back into his story. "So, Oliver met Zoe that night and they've been working at it ever since. They've both had to do a little changing but he seems happy." Sam shrugged. "He doesn't make it out to the Penny quite as often, just a couple of nights a week and he usually leaves pretty early. I haven't really seen the two of them together other than when I babysat for them on Valentine's. Zoe seemed a little happier; she was glad to be going out anyway." He huffed out an irritated chuckle. "Pretty sure she had a longer list than Noelle though; guess she thinks I'm not a good role model."

"I sort of got the feeling that you weren't really her favorite. I thought those dimples worked on everyone," she goaded.

Sam scowled back at her but there was little bite to it. "So far it's a toss-up between her and Noelle as to who is most immune," he admitted. "They've never gotten me far with either one of them."

"Oh…is that what happened?"

"Huh?"

"How far did you try and get with them?"

Sam chuckled uncomfortably. "Hey, now."

"Come on Swarek, you can tell me. Did you try and work your charms on them?"

Sam shook his head. "Noelle, never. We've been friends for way too long and right from the start, back at the academy she was just one of the guys. I never really saw her that way. Zoe…" he hesitated just long enough to get Andy's mind racing.

"You hit on Oliver's wife," she squealed with glee.

"Hey, she wasn't his wife at the time okay?"

Andy couldn't stop giggling at the thought. "Spill it, Casanova. What happened?"

"I didn't really even hit on her," he insisted.

"Sure. Maybe I'll have to get Oliver to vouch for you too."

"You want to hear the story or not?"

"Please," she begged trying to get her grin in check.

"Stop looking so excited."

"Sorry."

Her eyes were still dancing though and Sam couldn't help but smile in surrender. "We all went out to celebrate. We had been doing some drills and hand to hand like on retrain dray," he explained. "We had all done well and decided to go out. There were five of us, me, Frank, Noelle, Jerry and Oliver and most of the tables just had chairs for four. Across the bar, I saw that there was a table with only three women at it so I went over to sweet talk them out of a seat. I barely even had a chance to say anything. I started with the dimples and an 'evening ladies' and they all just… turned on me."

"What? Why?" Andy couldn't believe it; if a guy like Sam had ever offered her and her friends an 'evening ladies', well let's just say it would have been a fight to the finish.

"Apparently Zoe's friend had just been dumped and she accused me of hitting on them and being insensitive and 'couldn't I see that she was upset'. I finally just walked away and went back to our table to stand. A little while later Oliver went to the bathroom and came back with the chair and apparently her number. He held it over my head for a long time."

"Didn't he ever set her straight, like when they were together for a while?"

"I think he might have tried, but by that time she already had her mind made up. Didn't help that I never really had a steady girlfriend," he confessed.

"Never?"

"Well, there were some that I saw for a while, but whenever there was any function or anything I always came solo whether I was involved or not. She figured I was…"

"A player?" Andy supplied.

"I guess. I mean, I hope I wasn't. I was honest with all of them; it was just never going to be serious. I guess she didn't like that."

"So she doesn't like you for that?"

"That and I'm pretty sure she thought that being single, I was a bad influence on Oliver, that I was the one inviting him out and keeping him from coming home. When I would come back from a UC, I would tell Oliver about it; she's made some comments that made me think that Oliver passed on some of what I said. I'm not sure, but I've wondered if it made her feel like she was holding him back or something. But Oliver's never been the UC guy, never wanted it. He was happy being a family guy. Maybe she felt like they started too early and he held her back and was just turning it around; I don't know."

"Look at you, Mr. Detective."

"Just a hunch."

"Listening to your gut?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "and right now it's saying it's ready for dessert."

"I'll be right back," Andy giggled. She turned back on her way to the kitchen. "Can you pour me some more wine?"

"Sure. Hey did you get a hold of your dad?"

"Actually yeah. I left him a message this morning and he got back to me while I was getting groceries. He's going to be home in a couple of days so he said he'd call me so I can go over," she explained while she dished up two plates.

Andy brought the dessert to the living room and set it in front of Sam. He looked back and forth between her and the plate a few times. "Is that?"

Andy dipped her chin and looked up at him from under her lashes. "Pistachio, yeah."

"Really?" He was touched and a little surprised. "Didn't think you liked pistachio, McNally."

"Not for ice cream," she emphasized, like it should be obvious. "But this dessert is really good. It's like pudding and whipped cream; what's not to like," she said as she licked off her finger.

Sam watched on completely dumbfounded. Pudding, whipped cream, Andy licking her finger, too many thoughts were running through his head. He grabbed his wine glass and took a large gulp. "You know you should give it a try; you might actually like it."

Andy glanced up at him completely oblivious to his dilemma. "Maybe I will."

Sam shook his head and dug in. He could feel Andy watching him. After the first bite, he never said anything trying his best to keep a straight face. He purposely took his time taking another, but then he couldn't hold back. He smiled up at her. "That is really good."

"I know," she agreed proudly, dragging her finger through her dessert and placing it in her mouth once again.

Sam picked the fork up from her plate and handed it to her; she had no idea what she was doing to him or maybe she did, he wasn't sure, but either way she was going to be the death of him. If she didn't stop with the finger, he couldn't be held responsible for what he might do. "Let's use the utensil shall we."

Andy giggled and plucked the fork from his hand before taking a large bite.

Sam tucked his tongue into his cheek and shook his head before taking another bite himself.

They talked for a while longer with Andy telling him more about Dakota. She tried to gloss over some of the more dangerous moments but she could tell by Sam's frown that he had an idea about what she was leaving out. Before they knew it, it was after eleven and Sam had to work again the next day.

"So I guess…" Andy looked over at Sam. "I mean you do have to work early again."

They hadn't gotten past holding hands and a kiss or two on the cheek and Sam for one was ready for more; he loved her and he wanted to be able to show her. He really didn't want to go. "You could ask me to stay."

"Sam, I just… Isn't that kind of fast?"

"I'm not expecting anything, Andy." As much as he wanted her, he would take whatever he could get. "I just, I would really like to stay."

She was torn. "You don't think we should take it slow?"

"Take what slow Andy? We've already said we both want to make this work. What do you want to slow down?"

Her eyes dropped down to her lap as words echoed in her head. What's the rush? I love you, I do. I can't be a cop and be with you. I'll do everything. I'll be at the Penny. I meant it.

"No, listen," he beckoned, tugging on her hand and literally pulling her from her thoughts. "I know we skipped some things first go round; we just jumped right in. I asked you to be normal with me but nothing about us was normal. We had two years of history before we even started. I already felt like I knew you. We did all the date things for two years; we rode together, we ate lunch together, we knew each other. It just didn't make sense to do all the little get to know you stuff."

"But Sam, I didn't get to know anything about you, at least not the important stuff. I'm still not sure I do," she challenged. "I know your sister has a family and I know a little about what happened to her, but I don't really know anything about the rest of your family: your mom, your dad"

"That's true," he granted, "and I promise we'll get to that. I actually meant to tonight, but there was so much else to talk about. But we will, Andy, we will."

She wanted to believe him actually really wanted him to stay with her but she still worried that it was too soon, that it just shouldn't be that easy. "I don't know."

Sam wasn't giving up without a fight, not this time. "We didn't break up because we were going too fast," he contended.

"But Sam we did. I had a lot of time to think about this while I was away. You ran out almost every morning; I wanted you to stay. I didn't want that to be all we were. But you weren't ready."

"Andy, it wasn't because that's all we were; it was because that wasn't all we were. I was still trying to prove to myself that it wasn't serious; I couldn't admit that we were long past it being just about that. I wasn't ready to let you all the way in, but that had nothing to do with us physically. Andy, you can't tell me that was part of the problem."

"No, I can't," she agreed; things always fell into place when they were in bed. "But I still get scared. It wasn't enough for me then and it still isn't; I want more than that, Sam. And I worry that it will be too easy to fall back into it, to let that take over." And she knew it could happen because the want for him never seemed to go away.

"I'm not going to apologize for wanting you, Andy, but I will promise to do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen."

"I'm not looking for an apology, Sam because I love the feeling I get when we're together." She shot Sam a quick glare to stop the glint in his eye from going any further; that wasn't the feeling she was talking about though that was really good too.

"You make me feel special, Sam and I love being with you, I do, but I want to be 'your person', the one you can't get out of your system, the one that knows all your stuff, that gets you."

"You are my person, Andy."

"I'm not sure I am, at least not yet, but I want to be if you'll let me."

"I will Andy; you'll see. I meant what I said. I love you and I just want a chance. If that's what it takes to show you, I'll do it. You'll see."

Sam began to lean across the couch, slowly closing the distance between them. "I'm going to kiss you now," he announced just before his lips met hers. "And I'll wait Andy, for whenever you're ready." He brushed his nose softly against hers. "I just want to be able to show you how much." Starting now.

He lifted his hand to the side of her face and guided her lips to his once more. He kissed her so softly and gently, pouring everything he had into showing her just how special she was to him. And he was going to keep showing her for as long as she would let him.

Sam didn't know how long they had been kissing, but he knew he was getting to her. Her body was almost humming and he could feel her surrender herself to the feelings that had always been and would always be between them. The feelings that were taking him back, back to the day she first told him she loved him. That night was still so clear in his mind and his only hope was that he could show her even half of what he had been feeling back then.

After an indeterminate amount of time, he slowly extracted himself. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she answered breathlessly.

Sam dropped a chaste kiss on her temple and tensed his body to stand. He didn't get far as Andy's hand shot out to stop his ascent. "It's not that I don't want you to. But it shouldn't be this easy; should it? We broke up, and I left, and…" she huffed out a breath of frustration. "Shouldn't we have to work to get it back?"

Sam offered her an easy smile as his hand found its way to her cheek again. His eyes met hers. "It's easy because it's what we both want. Because it's right." He shook his head as he continued. "It doesn't matter what it should or shouldn't be. It matters what we want it to be." He'd made his point. "I know what I want Andy." But it had to be her choice. "What do you want?"

At the very least, she knew she wanted him with her. Andy pushed herself to her feet and then held out her hand to Sam. "Stay… just…"

He took her proffered hand and stood up to join her. "I know… whatever you want; I'm here."

Andy smiled softly as she led him back into her life.


A.N. I'm guessing you've noticed that I haven't marked this complete. As I got going the characters started taking me on tangents but I think it ended up to be a blessing in disguise. I was worried that the last part would feel rushed as I skipped over the timeline to important events. I'm thinking it will make a good epilogue of sorts; it should work perfect as small glimpses into their life as it leads them to the ending I planned all along.