Hey guys! Sorry I've been MIA for a bit, I've got allot going on personally so it's difficult to get any time to write without being overwhelmed with thoughts of my all consuming chaotic family/personal life. Currently I am laid up in a hospital bed recovering from injuries, and visiting hours are over so I'm all to myself, also I'm a little doped up on pain meds (so please excuse any awful writing errors). And as always leave reviews and comments or complaints! I'll only get better at this if I'm told where I go wrong! I hope you enjoy this! :)

The bright morning sun gave way to stormy afternoon clouds and soon the rain was rapping hard against the apartment windows. Amanda woke up slowly to the sound of Olivia snoring. As she opened her eyes she realized she was face to face with the older woman, should could feel her breath hot on her face. She smiled at the state of her boss. She has never seen her so relaxed. Her hair was a mess and she was without makeup, her mouth slightly open emitting soft snores. Her eyes were drawn to her mouth, to her soft lips wanting badly to touch them. She knew she was attracted to Olivia, who wouldn't be? She was gorgeous with a personality to match. Right then though, she felt more than simple physical attraction. Slowly she reached up and brushed a few stray stands. of hair away from the older woman's forehead causing her eyes to open.

"You're awake." Olivia said with a groggy voice and a sleepy smile. She lightly ran her hand along Amanda's side, not realizing the reaction it caused.

"I am." Amanda replied nervously, but returned the smile.

"What time is it?"

"I'm not sure, I only woke up just before you. It's raining pretty hard though." She said gesturing towards the window. Olivia glanced up towards the dreary light coming from it.

"So it seems." The two women lay there for what seemed like forever in each other's arms, content with the closeness.

Amanda suddenly became very aware at how much she had been looking at Olivia's mouth, thinking about how it would feel to kiss her. She sat up quickly, knocking the blanket to the floor and turned her back towards Liv. "I, uh, think I should take a shower." Before Olivia could say anything she was up and behind the locked bathroom door.

Slightly in shock, Olivia lay on the couch listening to the rain wondering what had just happened. Everything was going well. She thought Amanda was going to kiss her just before her sudden departure and couldn't help but wonder if she had done something wrong. A silent tear made its way out of her eye and onto the pillow her head rested on.

Amanda took a very long shower trying to draw out the time when she would have to face Olivia and explain her sudden departure. She didn't want to talk about what had happened, it was inappropriate. Olivia was by the book, she followed the rules. She wouldn't kiss her subordinate, and she wouldn't have those kinds of feelings either. Maybe she could say that she suddenly felt ill. No, Olivia would see right through that, she could always tell when the blonde was lying.

Deciding she had spent as much time hiding in the bathroom as she could she finally left the safe haven, nervous of the conversation she was sure was about to happen. But, to her surprise Olivia was nowhere to be found.

"Liv?" she called out to an empty apartment, getting no response. She went to the living room and find a note on the coffee table.

"Went to the bodega at the end of the block to get something to cook for dinner. Be back soon.

-Liv"

She left? Oh God I freaked her out. Amanda thought. If Olivia needed space, that's exactly what she was going to get. I've already ruined most of her weekend, she deserves an evening to herself. With that thought Amanda gathered the few things she had in the apartment and left Olivia a note to let her know she was okay.

Forty-five minutes later Olivia got back to her apartment with two bags full of ingredients for dinner that evening. She wanted to cook something special to let the blonde know that what had happened between them earlier was okay and that she felt the same things she assumed Amanda was feeling. They'd have a long talk about what it meant and how to move forward in the best way possible, what ever that might be. But to her dismay she came home to an empty apartment. Her clothes were soaked through from the rain pouring outside and she was freezing, but when she realized Amanda had left she forgot how uncomfortable her wet clothes were.

"Liv I'm sorry about earlier I don't know what I was thinking. I went home to give us both some space. I'm okay don't worry.

-Amanda"

Maybe I made her uncomfortable. I scared her away. Olivia thought in a panic. She didn't bother putting away the groceries, instead she deposited them in the living room floor not giving them a second thought before rushing out of the apartment and back out into the rain outside. She ran the six blocks to the subway station, the rain pelting her face and soaking her to the bone. It was cold, and the rain made it worse, but she couldn't feel the chill settling into her body. She needed to get to Amanda before she did anything that would set her back. She promised to be there for her every step of the way through all of this and she couldn't let her down now because of her feelings.

When she got to the blondes apartment she paused outside and looked up. There was a light on in the window she knew Amanda lived in. She pushed through the front door and opted to take the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator.

Amanda was sitting comfortably on her couch, wrapped in a blanket with a cup of coffee warming her hands, she was still cold from the walk from the subway station. She had only really just gotten home, had only just gotten comfortable on the couch when a hard knock came at her door causing her to jump. Not thinking to check who was at the door she just pulled it open to reveal a disheveled looking Olivia. She was standing in a puddle of water, clothes soaked through, hair plastered to her face, looking like she has just run a marathon.

"Liv? What are you doing here?" Amanda asked stepping to the side allowing her boss to come into the apartment.

"What am I doing here? Are you seriously asking me that question? You left! After everything you walked away without even giving me the respect of talking to me!" she was gesturing wildly with her hands and pacing the length of the living room leaving a trail of water in her wake. "I wasn't even gone an hour and you ran away! Why are you so scared? Did I do something?" she stopped pacing and looked hard at the blonde.

"No Liv. You didn't do anything. I did. I screwed up okay? And yes I'm fucking scared, okay, are you happy? I'm terrified of what I feel! I left because I thought we could both use some time alone, some space to think about things." She covered her face with her hands trying to stop the tears she felt burning in her eyes.

"No. You do not get space right now. You can't just run from your feelings! I've learned that. God damnit Amanda!" she yelled out, earning a jump from the blonde. She was usually so in control of her emotions, buy this was too much. She had fight so hard to keep her feelings Amanda at bay by not getting close to her, by not giving too much pause, afraid it would cause her to let her guard down. "Do you know why I'm so hard on you? Do you? I'm trying to push you away! I'm terrified of what I feel too! I've tried pushing you away because I love you! Okay? And I'm sorry if it's hard to face that fact but that's it, it's a fact. I love you and I know for a FACT that you feel something pretty damn close to the same thing about me." She was standing inches away from Amanda at this point. Her own tears streaming down her face with frustration.

Amanda stood there, mouth slightly agape, not bothering to stop her tears any longer. For a moment they stood silent, staring into the others eyes before Amanda threw herself into Olivia. She pressed her lips firmly against the older woman's and buried her hands in her brown hair. They stumbled backwards into the front door with a thud. The rain that had Olivia drenched was now soaked through Amanda's clothes as well as they were pressed firmly together, as close as they could get.

Before either of them realized what was happening, clothes were being torn away from bodies. The tension they had both felt towards the other in recent months and weeks came bursting through the surface. Amanda slid her hand up Olivia's now bare stomach, up and over her ribs, and around to her back pulling her impossibly closer as she was pressed hard into the front door of her apartment. Teeth drug across her bottom lip, eliciting a deep moan.

All of the secret glances and silent want making its presence known in their current actions, neither wanted to stop. And so, they didn't. They could worry about the implications of being together in the morning, when everything was said and done. At that moment, neither wanted to experience another moment not knowing what the other felt like, what their skin tasted like. Neither wanted to go another moment living and not knowing what it felt like to be with the other. They had no thoughts of their job or what it meant to sleep with your superior or subordinate. Their thoughts were simply fixed on the feeling of the other woman's muscles jumping at their touch or the moans and whimpers escaping busy mouths.

Olivia lifted Amanda up into her arms and carried her into the blondes bedroom. She couldn't get enough of her, there sounds she made, the feeling of her breath hot against her skin, the way she occupationally let a short laugh like she couldn't believe what was happening. Olivia herself couldn't believe it. All the things she had thought about, all of the things she had imagined were now a reality.