Chapter Four
For the rest of the day Syed sat, curled up on the sofa, silently listening to Christian's breathing.
Christian had been asleep all afternoon. Syed didn't know what to do. He felt angry, furious at Christian but also devastated, as he felt for sure that Christian was getting tired of their relationship and wanted out, wanted to be with someone who could give him what he needed without the constant arguments and issues that always seemed to come between them.
Buzz, buzz
Syed's thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing tone of Christian's phone. He sat up, swinging his legs onto the floor and grabbing the phone from the coffee table.
Syed was puzzled as the name 'Rob' flashed up on the screen. Rob? Who the hell was Rob?, he could feel his insecurities rising to the surface, however hard he tried to push them down.
'1 New Message. Read?'
Quickly glancing over to the bed, Syed pressed 'OK' and read the message, his eyes filling with tears.
'Had a gr8 time the other day. OK for the weekend? Txt me? Rob x'
Syed threw the phone down in horror as the tears poured down his distressed face. Christian cheating? No, he wouldn't...would he? A rush of senerios filled Syed's head. Christian in bed with another man, talking and laughing about him, about how stupid he was and useless he was, how he was stuck with this freak, trapped. Maybe Christian was only with him because he had no choice, felt guilty as he had lost everything because of him, maybe Christian was only doing the decent thing and being with him out of pity as no one else would want him?
Syed felt sick and ran to the bathroom, retching.
Flushing the tiolet, Syed turned to find Christian standing there, staring at him, his hair messy and rubbing his eyes.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?", Christian asked. He had not forgotten their earlier fight but if Syed was ill...
Startled, Syed pushed past Christian and ran to the flat door. Christian was faster, however, and placed his body between Syed and the exit, leaving him with no means of escape.
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!", Syed screamed, almost spitting the words at Christian. "YOU'RE A LYING, CHEATING BASTARD! YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE! I HATE YOU! GET OUT OF THE WAY!", he shouted, attempting to physically push Christian aside. Unfortunetly for Syed, Christian was a frequent visitor to the local gym, the weights section in particular, and he easily stood his ground, in defiance of Syed's anger.
"What the hell are you talking about Syed? I haven't cheated on you!", Christian was stunned at this wild accusation. He and Syed had had their problems, granted, but he would never dream of cheating on him. How could Syed even think he would?
"I saw the text, Christian"
Anger flashed through Christian's eyes as he realised Syed had been reading his texts.
"You've been reading my text messages?", Christian snarled, his hand holding Syed in place, preventing him fleeing to the bathroom, his only means of escape from this confrontation.
"Who's Rob? JUST TELL ME WHO ROB IS?", Syed attempted to break free of Christian's grasp but it was a fruitless exercise and he slumped down to the floor.
"Rob is a friend, Syed, a friend. I went to a bar yesterday and we bumped into each other, him and a few others. Just friends. Yes Rob is gay, but nothing has ever happened between us and nothing ever will"
"What's the text about then?", Syed muttered, fiddling with the loose fibres in the carpet as a means of distraction.
"He wanted to go out, he wanted to meet you, Sy," Christian replied, gently placing his finger on Syed's chin and lifting his head, their eyes connecting. "It was Rob's idea. This weekend. How could you even think I'd cheat on you? I love you, Syed"
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?", Syed pouted, lowering his eyes.
"Because you didn't have the courtesy to let me know you wern't coming home and quite frankly, I wasn't interested in going out anywhere with you at the time. I didn't think they'd be any point anyway, it's not like you'd come. You never do", Christian stood up, moving away to sit on the arm of the sofa.
"Please don't say that. You know how difficult this is for me!", Syed cried, pulling himself to his feet and leaning against the wall.
"I do Sy but I need a boyfriend who wants to live. You can be so amazing in this flat, when it's just us, like yesterday. I love my flirty, sexy Sy. I need to live outside of these four walls. I need to take my boyfriend out on the town and be normal, like everyone else", Christian stated sadly, baring his soul. He hated saying these things to Syed, confessing how he truely felt but he couldn't live like this.
"Christian", the tears streaked down Syed's face as he attempted to wipe them away with his sleeve. "I love you. I can do this for you, I promise. I want to go out with you"
"Really?", Christian asked, sceptical at Syed's sudden promise. He'd heard it all before.
"Yes", Syed answered, lunging forward and grabbing Christian's face. "Honestly. I can do this"
Taking Syed in his arms, Christian whispered in his ear, "I know you can Sy"
