DISCLAIMER: Sadly I do not own CSI Miami. All right belong to CBS but if they would like me to look after Ryan for a while, then I wouldn't mind at all. Anyway, please don't sue; pretty, pretty please I am but a poor student. I do however own Annabelle Johnston.
A/N: This is my first attempt at a Miami fic so please be nice. Thanks for all the reviews so far, they mean a lot. I also should have mentioned at the beginning that these are one shots so aren't related.
First off I would like to thank those of you for sticking with this, it means a lot.
Second I would like to apologise for the massive delay between chapters but uni has been mad lately and I have written this chapter six times as none of them seemed right but I think we may have cracked it this time :) Thanks again for not giving up on me.
SUMMARY: A series of one-shots, one for each letter of the alphabet. Wolvista with some Hip Huggers.
TITLE: The A-Z of Wolvista
CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI
D is for Decisions
Looking at herself in the mirror, Natalia sighed; she looked and felt tired. "I can't do this anymore." Her broken whisper fell against the glass as she ran her fingers through her hair.
The Previous Day
"Miss Boa Vista, do you have any DNA results for me?" Horatio walked into the DNA lab and over to where Natalia was sitting.
"I have results for you Horatio but it isn't good news." Horatio raised an eyebrow, silently telling her to continue. "The blood was too degraded, my guess is that it's been bleached…I've tested it a couple of times but they keep coming back inconclusive." She knew that the DNA was the only lead they had on the case and now that had been taken away from them too.
"You're kidding me?" She shook her head and he sighed. The case were working on was a kidnapping; a little girl who had been taken from home. She was only seven years old and the parents claimed they had no idea how she could have been taken or why.
"I'm sorry." The whisper escaped before she could stop it and Horatio shook his head.
"Don't worry, it isn't your fault." Offering her a small smile, Horatio turned around and headed for the door but turned around when he heard Natalia call out his name.
"You think she's dead don't you?" Her voice was wobbly and Horatio knew that if he told Natalia the truth, she would surely break down. "Horatio?"
"So far we have no evidence to suggest that, don't give up hope Natalia." She nodded and blinked back a couple of tears as Horatio left the lab.
The rest of the day was a blur as she processed the DNA samples on autopilot, desperately wanting to help with Horatio's case but being told that she was already too emotionally involved. The little girl lived on the same floor as Natalia so she desperately wanted to find her.
A couple of hours later however, her wish was granted as Ryan walked into the lab. "Hey Tal, you still wanna help out on this case?" Looking up at him, she nodded. "Me and H have a lead; he said you can some with us if you want."
"I'll get my coat." Ryan nodded as Natalia stood up and carefully laid the unprocessed DNA samples back into storage. "What's the lead?"
"We think we know where she is." Natalia's eyes widened and a slow smile spread across her face but before she could say anything, Ryan brought her back down to reality. "It's just a lead though Talia, don't get your hopes up too much okay?" She nodded and together they left the lab.
The drive to the crime scene was made in relative silence. When they got there, Ryan and Horatio got out first and walked down the path to the front door. Knocking, they waited for an answer as Natalia joined them. They got no answer so Horatio slowly pushed the door open. "Miami Dade CSI, anyone home?" Shouting from the front door, they got no response so Horatio pulled his gun from its holster and stepped inside. Ryan automatically pulled Natalia to stand behind him as the three of them entered the house.
They carefully made their way over to a door leading down to the basement and Horatio pulled it open. The smell which hit them made Ryan wince and Natalia coughed a couple of times. Walking down the steps, Horatio told Natalia and Ryan to wait at the top of the stairs. Walking into the centre of the room, Horatio sighed when he saw the small body laid on the cold concrete. "Mr Wolfe, can you come here a second?"
Ryan nodded and carefully walked down the stairs to Horatio. Pulling out a small torch from his pocket, he shone it to the ground and sighed. "How long?"
"I don't know Ryan but we've been lied to, she's been here all along." The conversation was made up of whispers, both CSIs trying to prevent Natalia from hearing them. "I'll call the coroner."
Neither of them had noticed Natalia until she spoke up from behind Ryan. "What's goin' on?"
Spinning around, Ryan tried to shield Natalia from the sight behind him. "Natalia, don't look." He was too late however as she pushed past him. "Natalia don't…close your eyes!" He tried to pull her back but couldn't as she walked further into the room. Looking down at the bloodied body, she couldn't stop the scream which escaped. "Tal…" He was cut off as a strangled sob escaped Natalia's throat. Running over to her, he caught her just as her knees gave way. "Come on; let's get you out of here." Picking her up, he carried Natalia back up the stairs as she buried her face in his chest.
"Why Ryan? Why her?" The tears fell faster, dampening the front of Ryan's t-shirt.
"I don't know sweetheart but I promise we'll find whoever did this to her." Kissing the top of her head, he carried her out of the house and back to the car.
CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI
Present Day
The tears slipped over her lashes as she signed the letter which she had printed off that evening.
'Dear Horatio,
I'm sorry that this isn't a formal resignation but I feel that I can no longer continue to do my job effectively. Knowing now that which I previously didn't, I have realised that although we can't save every kidnap victim we come across, I cannot bear to witness the aftermath and consequences of those that we can't save. I have therefore decided to move to Omaha to live with my cousin and to start a new life. Know that I have enjoyed working with you and everyone else in the lab; you are more like family to me than colleagues and I will miss you all so much but I can't stay in Miami. If I do then I know this job will slowly kill me inside and I cannot dedicate myself to a job which my heart isn't in. Thank you for a wonderful couple of years and take care of yourself and the rest of the team.
I will miss you all dearly
Natalia.'
She jumped when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" She silently prayed that it wasn't Horatio, knowing that if it was she would break down.
"It's me, Ryan…I have some good news for you!" His voice was slightly muffled through the door. Straightening her shirt, she walked over to the door and unlocked it before pulling it open to let him in. "Hey."
"Hi." Silently cursing herself, she wished that she could her croaky, broken voice to return to normal.
"I'm uh, not interrupting anythin' am I?" Looking around the room, he noticed a couple of boxes; one of which looked like it contained clothes.
"No I'm having a clearout." Her lie fell flat as she avoided Ryan's eyes.
"I'm not stupid Talia, what's goin' on?" Sitting on the arm of the sofa, he waited for her answer.
"Nothing is goin' on, do you umm…do you want a drink?" Desperately trying to change the subject, she hoped that he would get the hint.
"Yeah sure, thanks." Clearly her plan had worked and he had indeed agreed to go along with her change of subject. She nodded and walked into the kitchen as Ryan stood up and walked over to the window. As walked past the coffee table however, he accidentally knocked the resignation letter off and leant down to pick it up. Looking behind him to check that Natalia hadn't walked back in, he then looked down at the letter and was shocked at what he saw.
He reread the letter to make sure that he had read it correctly the first time and sighed. "Hey whatcha lookin' at?" Walking into the room, Natalia put the two drinks on the coffee table and walked over to Ryan. Looking over his shoulder, it dawned on her that he had seen the resignation letter.
"You were gonna leave without telling me?" Turning to face her, he offered her an accusatory glare and held up the letter. "Why Tal? Of everyone at the lab why didn't you trust me enough to tell me?" His voice was filled with hurt and Natalia had to look away from the pained expression on his face.
"It wasn't like that Ryan." He shook his head and she sighed. "I swear I never meant to upset you."
"You were gonna leave me Talia. After everythin' we've been through together you were gonna walk out on me without so much as a goodbye." He didn't raise his voice, in fact, as his sentence went on, his voice got quieter and quieter until it was a broken whisper.
"I couldn't face you…I couldn't see the expression on your face when I told you." Her words also came out in a whisper and he sighed.
"Is this because of what happened yesterday?" She mutely nodded and bowed her head to hide the tears which had escaped. "Why didn't you just talk to me about it? Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"
"I…I didn't want you…you to think I was weak." She snivelled a couple of times and refused to meet his eyes, not wanting him to see how affected she had been.
"I would never think that of you." Quietly stepping closer to her, he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly to him. She automatically wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder, not caring if he noticed anymore. "You can tell me anythin' and I'm never gonna think any less of you. This job gets to all of us at some time and I'd rather you talk to me about it than bottle it all up." Rubbing circles on her back, he dropped a kiss into her curls and held her a little tighter.
After a few minutes, she calmed down and her sobs turned to hiccups. "I'm sorry."
Pulling back to look at her, Ryan raised an eyebrow as he asked, "What for?"
"For not telling you how I felt…for thinking I could just run away." Offering her a small smile, he pulled her against him again. "I can't do this anymore though Ryan." Her voice was broken and Ryan would have done anything to have made her forget what she had seen; to take back time and stop her from going with them.
"Maybe we should sit down." She slowly nodded and pulled away from him before moving to sit on the sofa. Ryan sat down next to her and placed the letter on the table before taking her hands in his. "I think we need to talk about all this properly."
CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI
An hour later, Natalia was curled up against Ryan's chest, once again sobbing into his shirt. "It's not fair Ryan, why her? I can't…I can't d…do this anymore." He whispered comforting words in her ear and kissed the top of her head but said nothing else, not wanting to interrupt the breakdown which she clearly needed. "How many more have to die? How many more little girls have to lose their lives to make that bastard feel good about himself?" With every question her voice raised that little bit more until her sobs mixed with the questions which were screamed from her mouth. "Why couldn't we stop him? I did fuck all Ryan, so why the hell am I in this job?" Finally she collapsed into a fit of pained wails.
Ryan simply held her to him and rubbed her back with one hand, using the other to stoke through her hair. "Natalia, there's something I need to tell you."
"I don't wanna hear it Ryan." The anger was replaced by defeat as she clung to him for dear life.
"No you need to hear it." His voice was stern but at the same time, not in the least bit commanding. "I came over with some good news, remember?" She slowly nodded and he smiled. "Well I came over to tell you that we caught the guy…you did help put him behind bars Tal."
"I don't get it, how did I help?" Confusion filled her eyes as she finally looked up at him.
"Well, you remember when you told H that the DNA sample was too degraded?" She nodded but remained silent. "Well he ran the sample through the chemical analyser and managed to match it to a sample found at the scene." She raised an eyebrow, still not quite understanding where he was going with this. "We found the same bleach in the boot of the guy's car."
"So, so you got him?" Her voice was filled with hope and her eyes seemed to have a little more sparkle than before.
"No Tally…we got him." At this, she smiled. It was only a tiny smile but it was a sincere one. "I know we can't win every case…we're never gonna be able to save everyone but Natalia, we can bring justice to those who we can't save. We can stop the same thing from happening to more people and that has to be worth somethin'."
"I just…I don't feel like I belong here anymore."
"But look at the difference you made yesterday. We couldn't save Lillette but we saved her sister; you were right all along…it was the parents." Natalia let out a small groan and he gave her a gentle squeeze. "I know it doesn't always seem like it but we do make a difference…you gotta hold onto that."
"You guys do but I haven't…I really think that without me, the lab wouldn't be any different." Pulling away from Ryan, she stood up and walked over to the window, looking out at the night sky and sighing.
Ryan also got up and followed her, loosely wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "Yes it would and even if it wasn't…my life certainly would be."
"How d'you work that out." She wanted to believe him but couldn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head telling her that it wasn't true.
"Just trust me on that one. You're my best friend Natalia and if you leave…I'll miss you like crazy." Leaning back into his arms, Natalia found herself smiling. "I mean it and before you say 'you can come visit me', it isn't enough. I need to see you more often than once every few months."
Turning in his arms, she offered him a teasing smile. "And why is that?"
"Umm…because…because…" Taking a deep breath, he leant down and pressed his lips against hers. Quickly pulling back, he smiled down at her and prayed that she wouldn't hit him. "Umm, does that make things any clearer?" She nodded and when he smiled, Natalia pulled him into another kiss.
Later that night they lay snuggled up in Natalia's bed. "Ryan?"
"Hmm?" His voice was sleepy as he lay with his eyes closed and one arm wrapped around her shoulders.
"I don't want to go back to how things were." Her voice was nervous and his eyes popped open to find her worried ones staring back at him.
"Me neither, does this mean you're staying?" Although he was trying to look confident of her answer, he was secretly terrified of her answer. His terror was only heightened when she wordlessly got out of bed, pulled on his shirt and left the bedroom. A couple of minutes later however, she returned with her resignation letter. Sitting down on the bed beside him, she then tore it into pieces and threw the little pieces in the air before smiling widely at him. "Is that a yes?"
Pressing her lips to his, she smiled. When they parted, she whispered against his mouth, "Yes."
"Tal, there's somethin' I need to tell you." Looking into her emerald eyes, he knew what he was about to say was the right thing to be saying. "I love you."
"Oh Ryan…" Grinning like an idiot, she grabbed hold of his hands and squeezed them gently. "I love you too."
That night as they lay in bed, they both knew that she had made the right decision and even if she found herself doubting her importance, Ryan would always have enough faith in her for the both of them and that would always be enough.
CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI – CSI MIAMI
A/N: Thanks for reading and staying with this story. I promise to try and update soon. Pretty please review, they always make me smile.
