Summary: Lily begins to change her mind about James. Little does she know, she really is just a conquest to James, a beautiful trophy. But once he gets what he wants, Lily begins to change his mind, too.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J. K. Rowling, as well as anything else you may recognize (i.e. Order of the Phoenix). The story is loosely based on the song "Anna Begins," which belongs to Counting Crows.
Lily Begins
Chapter 4: Consider A Friend
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I have to say, I paid dearly the next day for those drinks. Sirius never seemed to be much affected by alcohol (it was one of his many useless talents), but I wasn't quite as lucky. He came into my room that morning as I was debating whether or not I should vomit.
"Now don't get me wrong, I love a night of getting piss-drunk just as much as the next guy. But I have to ask, what were you trying to erase from your memory last night?"
"Right now I'd like to erase last night from my memory."
"Prongs."
I groaned and pulled myself into a sitting position. Grabbing my glasses, I simply said, "Evans."
Sirius sighed in frustration. "Again? I thought you said you were done with that."
"I did. She drives me crazy, in a good way and a bad way."
"What happened?"
"I was in a bad mood, and we got into a bit of an argument. I went right back to being the obnoxious 15 year old she's always seen me as."
"The amazing James Potter: zero to arrogant in 2.5 seconds."
"Yeah, well, I think I'm worse off than when I started."
"Probably. On the bright side, you've got a lovely hangover to commemorate the evening."
I moaned as I fell back down on my pillows.
A few hours (and aspirin) later, I was considering my options concerning Lily. I'd need to seriously adjust my attitude if I wanted to get anywhere with her.
But did I want to get anywhere with her? And if so, why?
She's gorgeous, yes. Smart, talented, nice. But why is it so important to me that I win her? Why has it always been so important?
I know the normal reasoning. The "I want her 'cause I can't have her" theory. But is that really all?
Of course, someone who just barely got over a hangover is not really in the best mood to examine himself or his motives, so I stopped with that train of thought and sat down to write a letter to Lily.
Dear Lily,
I'm sorry we got into an argument last night. I was in a terrible mood, and wasn't thinking clearly. I hope you'll forgive me, because I would like to be your friend.
Sincerely, James
Sirius had started reading the letter over my shoulder, and was obviously trying not to laugh. "'I hope you'll forgive me?' What is this shit?"
"I figure she might forgive me this way."
"You're nuts."
"You got any better plans?"
He sat down and was quiet for a moment. "This whole Lily thing, you sure you're not just using it as a distraction?" I refused to look at him as I rolled up the parchment. "Look-"
"Sirius, I'd really rather not talk about it, okay?"
He backed off, seeing that he was getting my temper up. "Whatever, man."
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Two days later, Lily showed up at my door.
Her face was tear-stained, her eyes red and bloodshot. "James, I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go," she said, coming in.
I put my arm around her and led her to the couch. I let her cry on my shoulder for a while before asking, "Lily, what happened?"
"Th-there w-was an a-accident," she cried. "My m-mother's car..." She could barely get the words out, and collapsed into my chest.
I held her like that for almost an hour, sobbing out the whole story. Her mother's car had been hit by another driver, and although they'd rushed her to the hospital, she was hurt too badly. They weren't able to save her, and she died a few hours later.
"I guess I was lucky, you know?" she said once she'd started to calm down. "I got to say goodbye at least. I just wish she wasn't gone."
"I know," I said, hugging her.
"Maybe it was for the best. I mean, she really wasn't the same after Daddy died, so at least they're together now."
"Have you talked to your sister at all?" I asked, wondering what the wretch might have said.
Lily gave a humorless laugh. "Oh, I'm still in the wedding. Apparently it was my mother's dying request to her. Petunia very kindly informed me that after she was married, Vernon would be her family, and she never wanted to hear from me again."
"Wow. She really is a bitch, isn't she," I said.
Lily laughed and nodded. "Yeah, she really is. You know, I remember when I first got my letter for Hogwarts, and Petunia told me she'd always known I was a freak. I ran out of the house crying, and my mother came out to the backyard to get me. She showed me a flower in the garden that was some peculiar color and told me that just because it was different, that didn't make it any less beautiful or sweet-smelling than any of the other flowers. It just meant that it was extra special."
I was glad Lily was smiling again, and I listened intently as she told me about half a dozen more stories about her mother.
"She really does sound great," I said.
"Yeah."
"Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah, I am. I'm dreading going back to that big empty house, though."
"You wanna stay here tonight?" I asked.
She thought about it for a moment. "I won't be putting you out?" she asked.
"No, not at all."
"In that case then, yes, I would really appreciate that."
"Alright. You go get your stuff, and I'll get the room ready," I said, standing up.
"And James?"
I stopped. "Yeah?"
"Thank you. For everything. And... I'm really sorry about the other night."
"It's okay," I said, smiling. I went back and straightened up my room the best I could.
I went back out to the front room and found Lily had already apparated back. "You can stay here," I said, showing her to the room.
"James," she said, looking at me.
"Yes?"
"This is your room."
"No, it's the guest... ah, yeah, yeah, it's my room."
"I can't stay here."
"Sure you can."
"Then where will you sleep?"
"I'll be fine on the couch."
"I can't take your bed."
"Lily, I insist."
She smiled at me. "You know, you never stop surprising me."
"Well, I'm a surprising kind of guy."
She giggled and finally set her bag down on the bed. "Goodnight James."
"Good night Lily. Let me know if you need anything."
"Thanks." I grabbed some of my own things and left her alone.
The couch turned out to be quite comfortable, and I woke up the next morning only to find Sirius yelling at the closed bathroom door. "Come on, James! I swear, you take as long as a girl!"
"Hey Sirius," I said, running my hand through my hair and yawning, still a bit sleepy.
"Oh, hey James. James?"
"Yeah?"
"Well if you're out here, then..." He thought for a moment. "What the hell did I do last night?"
"It wasn't you. Lily stayed over."
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What the hell did you do last night?"
"Nothing."
"Yeah, sure. You've got a gorgeous woman you've been pining for in you shower, and you're trying to tell me you guys didn't do anything?"
"I have not been pining for her," I said sternly.
"Whatever."
"Sirius, her mom died yesterday."
He finally stopped and looked, well, serious. "Oh. Wow. Is she okay?" he asked.
"As okay as she can be, all things considered."
"So you two really didn't do anything?"
"No! She was in my room, and I slept on the couch."
He nodded. "You're a good guy, James."
"Don't I know it," I said, heading back towards the kitchen.
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I would like to take a moment to clear something up about me. I know this story so far doesn't seem to show it, but I am actually a very decent guy. I know I have my flaws, but I can be extremely caring and sensitive. When Lily showed up at my door in tears, my only thought was to help her feel better. I was genuinely sympathetic, and I had no ulterior motives concerning Lily. Yes, I considered her a challenge, but I also wanted to consider her a friend.
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I had made some eggs for myself, and about fifteen minutes later, as I was reading the Prophet, Lily came out, already dressed. "Morning," I said.
"Hi," she replied with small smile.
"Can I get you something?" I asked.
"James, you don't have to."
"Come on. Eggs happen to be my specialty."
"Oh really?" she giggled, and I nodded confidently. "Alright then."
After making her breakfast, I finally found the courage to ask her something that had been bothering me since she showed up yesterday. "Lily?"
"Hm?" She looked up from her coffee.
"Why...why did you come to me?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, of all the shoulders you could have cried on last night, you chose mine. Why?"
She sighed and set down her mug. "Honestly? You know that letter you sent me a few days ago? Well, it's been sitting on my desk ever since. I went back home, terribly upset, and there it was. So I thought about what you'd wrote, and I came here."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Because I'd like to consider you a friend."
"Well, you can definitely consider me a friend," I said with a broad smile.
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Okay, I know it's late, but look how long it is! Does that count at all? Sorry it took me extra long to update, and now that I'm back at school, I've realized that this story needs to be put on hiatus for a little bit. I'll write more whenever I can, but don't expect updates for a while. I'm so sorry, but it needs to be done.
This chapter came about a bit unexpectedly, but it really became a bridge to where I wanted to take this story. I hope this reveals a little more about James' character, and his feelings towards Lily.
I would like to thank writerchick13 and redglasses for not forgetting me, and for their lovely reviews. I really appreciate it.
