Yay! New chapter! This took me a little longer than I wanted it to, but oh well. I'm actually pretty happy with this chapter. I was trying to plan out the rest of this story, but it didn't work out. I know where it's going, I have no idea how long it's going to take to get there though. Anyways, I hope you liked it. Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, etc. I seriously appreciate them so much. So, comment let me know how I'm doing or if you have any requests/ideas. I'm totally open to your thoughts.


"Robin! You've been dating a guy for two weeks and you didn't tell any of us." Lily whined from her seat on the other side of the booth and Robin shrugged.

"Barney knew," she mumbled and all eyes went to the end of the table where Barney was sitting in his normal chair.

"Yes, I did. I set them up, if you must know." He said with a smug smirk on his face.

"Okay, so details!" Lily squealed looking at Robin.

"His name's Mike. We've only been going out for a couple weeks."

"So, boyfriend?" Lily asked with a smile raising her eyebrow and Robin quickly shook her head.

"No, definitely not." She didn't do boyfriends, which no one seemed to understand, except Barney. Not only did the whole serious relationship thing not appeal to her at all, but watching couples almost made her cringe sometimes. She was pretty sure if you cringed watching people in relationships, it wasn't the best idea to be in one. "What are you guys doing for Halloween?" She asked hoping it was good change of topic.

"Well, Ted and I will be going to the Victoria's Secret Halloween Party," Barney smiled proudly leaning back in his chair and Ted immediately shook his head.

"No, we're not. I'm going to the party on the roof."

"No!" Barney whined. "Not again, as your bro I refuse to let you go to that roof party again." Robin laughed as she watched Barney get more and more worked up.

"But the Slutty Pumpkin…" Ted trailed off hopelessly.

"Forget about the Slutty Pumpkin!" Barney commanded and Robin looked between the two of them, confused.

"Who's the Slutty Pumpkin?" She asked and got groans from the rest of the group, excluding Ted.

"It was four years ago and I was at the Halloween Party on the roof," he started. "Then, out of nowhere this girl in the sexiest pumpkin costume appeared." Robin almost asked how a pumpkin costume could possibly be sexy but then decided to just let Ted finish his story. "So, we're at the bar and I see her mixing…"

"Kahlua and root beer," Barney, Marshall, and Lily finished for him. Robin laughed and the rest of the group and listened to Ted wax poetic about this woman who he met once. She couldn't help but roll her eyes a couple of times throughout the story, Ted was such a hopeless romantic. She met Barney's eyes across the table and he rolled his dramatically, she bit her lower lip to keep from laughing. When Ted was finally finished with his story Robin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wait, so you go to the same Halloween Party every year in the same costume in the hope that maybe the Slutty Pumpkin will show up? Don't you think that's a little ridiculous?" She asked turning toward him. "Especially after four years," she added after a second thought.

"Yeah!" Barney said enthusiastically. "Plus, models on a boat…"

"Guys," Ted said looking between Barney and Robin. "What if she's my future wife?"

"Don't even think about getting married until you're thirty." Barney and Robin said at the same time and then the two looked at each other horrified. Oh God, were her and Barney finishing each other's sentences? That just wasn't possible. Robin bit her lower lip and totally avoided Barney's gaze. They were both going to pretend it never happened. She hoped Lily didn't say anything about it. Although, she was sure Lily probably wouldn't. Lily wasn't exactly Barney's number one fan, at least when it came to the way he treated women. Sure, Robin had seen the way Barney treated women but it didn't offend her like it did everyone else. It was probably because she was a lot like Barney. Maybe she didn't lie to men to get them to sleep with her and then leave before they could wake up, but she wasn't exactly opposed to one night stands. She understood him in a way no one else seemed to. She knew what it was like to be so beyond screwed up you don't want to be in a relationship. She didn't know what happened to make Barney like that, but she knew it was a good reason.

After an awkward pause in the conversation Lily turned to Robin. "Why don't you and Mike double date with us for Halloween?" She paused. She didn't really want to introduce Mike to everyone. That meant things were getting more serious.

"Well, we were kind of thinking of dressing up as two naked people." She smiled pushing thoughts away with a joke. Barney smiled.

"Yeah, you were." He held out a hand and Robin slapped it.

"Please," Lily begged.

"Fine, we'll be there."


"Nice costume," Robin commented to Barney dressed to kill in his flight suit.

"See, Ted. This would be a so much better costume. Why won't you just flight suit-up?" He yelled in the direction of Ted's room. Ted walked out in his signature Hanging Chad costume and Robin bit back a laugh.

"Hey Chad, how's it hanging?" She smiled.

"Word play, nice." He laughed sarcastically heading toward the door. "I'm heading upstairs." Ted announced to the room before making an exit.

"Poor Ted," Barney said shaking his head sadly at the door. "He'll never learn."

"And what exactly could you teach him?" She asked her eyes slowly taking in his costume.

"Let me tell you a little something about Halloween, Robin." He walked over to her taking a seat on the chair. She leaned forward. "Number one: it's the one night of the year women are allowed to dress completely slutty without being called out on it," he paused looking her up and down. "You are dressed nowhere near slutty enough." She laughed and rolled her eyes waiting for Barney to continue. "And number two: always have more than one costume."

"Why do you need more than one costume?"

"I'm glad you asked." He smiled. "Because if you strike out with the hottest girl at the party the first time, you can come back in a new costume and it's like you never even hit on her. Halloween is the best day of the year."

"Halloween sucks," she said leaning back against the couch.

"What?" He asked in shock.

"It's just a bunch of idiots dressing up like someone they're not."

"Man, who killed Halloween for you?"

"What?" She asked looking over at him.

"Someone obviously ruined it for you," he said sadly. "What a shame. You'd make a really good slutty…" He trailed off in thought before shrugging. "You'd make a good slutty anything. Let me know if you want a costume. I've got a guy for that." He smiled widely as Lily came out of the bedroom dressed as a parrot and Marshall as a pirate. "Well, I regret to inform you that my presence is requested at the roof. I'm going to see if I can convince Ted to go to the party. Barnacle out!"


Robin was confident that this was the most awkward dinner of her life. She didn't want to be a 'we'. It was never part of her plan and forcing herself to try to be a 'we' wasn't working either. She liked Mike, she genuinely did. But he was just another Ted, maybe not as extreme but still another Ted; another guy who wanted to wear matching Halloween costumes and share dessert and feed each other. She didn't want it. And she couldn't stand the way Lily and Marshall kept looking at her. It switched between complete discomfort at the current double date they were on and pity for Robin at not being able to handle an adult relationship.

She glanced over at Mike as he passed the dessert bowl back to her. She took her scoop and stared at the dish. She didn't want to share desserts for the rest of her life. She couldn't pretend she could do this, because she couldn't. She quickly ate the rest of the ice cream as Marshall and Lily looked between her and Mike uncomfortably. She shifted in her seat. The way they were looking at her made her feel like she was wired the wrong way. But she couldn't make herself want the things everyone else wanted and she couldn't pretend that the thought of becoming a 'we' didn't freak her out beyond belief.

"I think I'm going to take off," Mike said sliding out of the booth and Robin quickly followed them.

"I thought we were going back to my place?" She asked confused. She had to act like half of a perfect couple all night, she should get something out of this. He shook his head.

"Look, Robin. This clearly isn't working out…" He trailed off awkwardly and her jaw almost dropped. They were breaking up? Well, that would teach her to never attempt to be the perfect girlfriend again. Although, she didn't really succeed in being the perfect girlfriend, she actually sucked at it. A lot. It wasn't that she was selfish, she was just set in her ways.

"Are we breaking up?"

"No," he said slowly and Robin's eyebrows creased in confusion. Then what point was he trying to make? She opened her mouth to ask, but he interrupted her. "I'm breaking up with you." He corrected and then walked away. That stung. She leaned against the bar quickly ordering a scotch and taking a sip. She couldn't handle the pitiful looks she was once again getting from Marshall and Lily. She wished them a quick good-bye and went to the roof. She hoped Barney was still up there. She really needed some mindless conversation. As soon as she pushed the door to the roof open, she was greeted by Ted who gave her a small smile.

"Slutty Pumpkin didn't show?" She asked rubbing his arm sympathetically. He shook his head.

"Nah, but it's okay. We obviously weren't meant to be," he shrugged. "Barney's still out there, if that's who you were looking for." He gestured to the roof and she gave him a thankful smile. As he turned to walk down the steps, she called out to him.

"You'll find her one day, Ted."

"Thanks, Robin." He managed a smile as she walked out onto the roof.

"Scherbatsky!" Barney greeted enthusiastically from his spot in the corner.

"Hey," she smiled sliding down the wall next to him. "Didn't make it to the Victoria's Secret party?" She asked with a laugh.

"Unfortunately not, Ted seems to be going through a quarter-life crisis. I didn't want him to do anything dramatic, y'know?" He asked trying to downplay staying at the roof party.

"You're a good friend, Barney." She smiled patting him on the thigh.

"A day in the life of a bro," he shrugged and then his eyes lit up. "This is so going in my blog!" Robin laughed at his antics suppressing an eye roll. "Hey, what happened to Mike and your naked costumes?" He asked suddenly.

"Oh," she sighed leaning her head against the brick wall suddenly remembering why she came up here in the first place. "We broke up."

"Finally realized you were way too awesome for him?"

"No, he dumped me." She mumbled trying to convince herself it wasn't a big deal. It's not like she was upset about losing Mike, because she could care less about that part. Sure, she liked Mike but it's not like there was an empty space in her life now or something. It just sucked not wanting what everyone else wanted. She tried to want marriage and kids, but every time she just ended up feeling suffocated. She was sick of being alone though. She wished that being in a couple didn't come with so many strings. She didn't want to be in another version of Marshall and Lily. She needed a guy who understood that and it didn't seem like any did. God, when did men become such women?

"Wow, what an idiot." Barney said.

"What?" She asked confused after being pulled out of her thoughts.

"You're not actually upset about this, are you? You could do way better than that guy." She quickly shook her head. She didn't need Barney to make fun of her for being a woman about this.

"No, it's just," she sighed turning her body toward his. "Do you ever feel like you were wired wrong?" He raised an eyebrow in question and she continued. "Everyone else is falling in love and dressing up in matching costumes and being all cute. And I don't want that. I want to want that, but I just can't. What's wrong with us?"

"Nothing," Barney said quickly turning to face her as well. "There's nothing wrong with us, we're awesome just the way we are." Robin raised an eyebrow skeptically thinking about how she just got dumped and Barney smiled slightly. "If that Mike guy doesn't realize how awesome you are, then it's his loss."

"Really?"

"Would I lie to you, Scherbatsky?" He smirked. "C'mon, do you know how long it took me to find a decent laser tag partner? Or a good wingwoman? Plus, you're hot. One day a guy is going to realize that you, Robin Scherbatsky, are a rare find and he's not going to let you go even if he thinks you're wired wrong. Which you're totally not," he quickly added.

"Thanks Barney," she smiled leaning closer to him.

"Anytime," he flashed his signature smile and before Robin could even think about what she was doing she kissed him, a real kiss. She knew it took Barney by surprise because it took him a minute to respond. He pulled her in closer letting his fingers run through her hair. She knew if she really thought about it, she would know it was a bad idea, but right now all she wanted to was kiss Barney. Kissing Barney was a crazy idea in itself. She saw how he was, especially with women, but she couldn't help it. He was different with her than he was with everyone else and right now she wanted to kiss Barney, so she was going to keep doing just that.