Melee School Boys

-Four-

Zelda was sitting down in the front row of the auditorium.
"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel--" Roy tripped and fell flat on his face. Marth stood there while Link was shaking his arse and running his hands over his body seductively.
"I am not appeasing to the fangirls," was all Marth said. Roy raised his hand and flailed, signalling he needed help. Marth took his hand and pulled the general up, at which point Roy fell over again, this time, on his arse. Marth sighed and took both of Roy's arms. Pulling him up, and stared at Link.
"Can we please do another song? This one's too...sexual," Marth said.
"Yeah!" Roy said. "My dad's coming to this thing!"
Link stopped the music and walked over to them.
"Have any suggestions? Hmm?"
Roy raised his hand.
"'It's My Life'." Marth had no idea what was going on and decided to sit on the edge of the stage.

- - -

"I like where we are, when we drive, in your car. I like where we are... Here..."
Marth was leaning his head against his arm, which was propped up on the armrest. Link was walking around with a headset and clipboard (which he stole from Zelda). Roy was clutching the mic stand, the microphone in the other. He was singing his little Pheraean head off. Zelda was in charge of leading the band and making sure they didn't mess up. Marth noticed that Roy looked hot with his shirt half unbuttoned, his tie completely undone, and his jacket tied around his waist. He didn't know why, but that was the way it was.
"Our lips, can touch. Our lips, can touch...here..."

"Hey, Marth, you haven't submitted a solo yet," Link said, tapping Marth on the shoulder.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. About that. I really don't want to sing a solo." Link gave him a "what are you, nuts?" look.
"If it's about not being able to find the perfect song, don't worry. I found one just for you." Marth rolled his eyes as Link showed him the clipboard.
"What?!" Roy stopped singing, the band stopped playing, and Zelda turned around to see what was going on.
"I am not singing 'Cry for the Dream'," Marth said, matter-of-factly.
"Why not?" Link asked. "There's nothing wrong with it." If Marth wasn't a prince, he would have punched Link for making such a suggestion. As it was, though, he just calmed himself and said, "I am not singing a Heero Yuy image song."

- - -

"Looking at the crowd, and I see your body sway, c'mon. Wishin' I could thank you in a different way, c'mon. 'Cause all of your time spent keeps us alive," Link sang, over enthusiastically at that. He looked over his sunglasses into the non-existent crowd. He did some Michael Jackson-esque moves (minus the crotch grabbing), and moon-walked around the stage. He stopped to yell at Marth for not having his shirt unbuttoned enough. Marth sighed and unbuttoned it all the way; he crossed his arms in a vain attempt to cover himself, but it wasn't working. Two fangirls from the school across the street shrieked like ten year olds at a Green Day concert, to which Link stopped the music and told them that "this is a closed rehearsal," and that "Marth and Roy and myself are open for autographs after school". They promptly fainted, and Marth damned his sexiness.

"Now, you're supposed to tip your hat like this," Link said, demonstrating with his own top hat. Marth held it in his hands like it was a piece of trash, and Roy said that it "clashed with his hair", to which Link replied that that was a bunch of bullshit.
"Red and black go perfectly together," Link said, and placed the hat on Roy's head."
"Oh my...Roy? Is that you?"
"Marthy? What the heck?"
The two Fire Emblem boys looked to see two blue headed girls, each around the same height, stand in the doorway. The taller of the two was wearing an Academy of Talis uniform, the other one was wearing Ostia's School for Battle Arts uniform.
"Oshitoshitoshit," was all Roy said, quoting Crowley from Good Omens. It was his favourite book, okay?
Marth hastily tried to button his shirt, but Link simply said, "Nu uh, Mr. Lowell. You're keeping that open until we're done with this song. Hey! You two ladies--" he saw their glares and said, "Have a seat somewhere. Okay! Let's pick up from the chorus!"

The two girls sat down in the front row next to the music teacher.
"All you people can't you see, can't you see how your love's affecting our reality? Every time we're down, you can make it right. And that makes you larger than life," Roy, Marth, and Link sang, though Link was singing much more enthusiastically than the other two.
"Aww," the taller girl said. "Marth looks so adorable with his shirt unbuttoned."
Marth's face flushed. Hopefully this whole thing would end soon.

- - -

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts. And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan." Link was practically making out with the microphone. He also sounded like he was about to orgasm, which Marth noted, sounded way too real to really ignore. Zelda was particularly disturbed with the "I'm too sexy for my hat," part, but in all, she thought the song was very egotistical. Roy's girlfriend was sitting on his lap, watching the whole performance.
"...Is he supposed to be making out with the microphone and shaking his butt?" his girlfriend asked.
"To tell you the truth, Lilina, I have no idea." She left it at that and decided to not ask anymore questions.
"Marthy," Sheeda said, sitting next to him.
"What, Sheeda?"
"When is it your turn?" Marth looked at her and then back to Link making an arse out of himself.
"Hopefully never."

Link was finally done with his song.
"ALRIGHT MELEE HIGH!"
"But it's Melee Academy of Higher Learning for Boys!" Roy shouted. And then, for the hell of it, Link started singing "Swagger" by Flogging Molly.
"...Since when was Link Irish?" Marth asked.
"Since never!" Link replied, square dancing with the mic stand. Roy looked a bit embarassed.
"Is Link a friend of yours, Roy?" Lilina asked.
"No," Roy replied. "No, he's not." Meanwhile, Link was doing Justin Timberlake-esque moves, cartwheels, and jumping jacks.

"I think that boy needs help," Sheeda said, and Lilina nodded in agreement with her.

- - -

"I am not getting up to sing, Link Anaka Mekkai," the prince of Altea said, refusing the microphone.
"You agreed to--"
"I agreed to nothing!"
"But it says here--"
"Screw what it says! I didn't agree to anything, right Roy?"
The red head put his hands up in defense. "I'm not getting into an argument with Link again."
"Just sing the damn song, Marth! It can't be that bad!"
Marth said nothing. Link shoved the mic into Marth's hand and jumped off the stage.
"Pretend we're not here!" Link shouted, grabbing his clipboard.
'That's a bit hard to do,' Marth thought, but shook the feeling off. Zelda pressed "Play" on the stereo and cranked the music up to all the way.

Link was whistling and cheering and clapping, and Marth didn't even start. So Roy slapped him upside the head and told him to Ess Tee Eff Yoo. Link rubbed his head and dimmed the lights.
"Arikitari no hiiroo nante/Mappira sa Ore ni wa naranai/Tamaranai," Marth sang, and he sang them in a disinterested sort of way. Link was shouting "GO MARTH!" and holding signs up that he made in 1.542 seconds. Zelda was sitting as far away from Link as possible, pretending that they weren't, in fact, going out. Sheeda was acting like a 1x2 fangirl at an anime convention. Roy and Lilina were whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, giggling, and having passion-filled make out sessions.
"Cry for the dream... yeah yeah yeah/Hageshiku/Cry for the dream... yeah yeah yeah/Sakebu yoru," Marth sang, finally getting into the song. Zelda had to keep Sheeda restrained in her seat before she jumped on the stage and molested Marth or something. Even though Sheeda and Marth were married. Roy and Lilina were now necking, to which Link said, "Oh, look Zel, they're necking." Zelda told him to stop watching so much Roseanne and Link told her to "ssh because Marth's singing".

Marth finished singing and was met with security guards trying to keep all 8594083534053 of his fangirls at bay. Marth sighed and placed the microphone on the stand. Gracefully, he leapt off of the stage and landed on his feet.
"Ohmigods, Marth! That was wonderful!" Sheeda said and kissed him hard. Marth kissed her back, and Link turned away.
"Let's not see the make out session, mkay? Mkay," the boy that was blond said.
"Roy, can I see you preform?" Lilina asked, still sitting on his lap.
"Tomorrow," Roy said, and kissed her forehead.
"Aww," Lilina said, disappointed.

- - -

Four boys were blocking Marth, Roy, and Link from leaving the school.
"Haha, you're all queer," they said in unison. Link cracked his knuckles, Roy whipped the Fuuin no Tsurugi out, and Marth settled for glaring.
"Mo, Moo, Adpot, and Rowe-gull," Link muttered, preparing a plan in his head that involved the Master Sword, his boot, their asses, and black eyes.
"Nice girls you got there, boys, but what they'd want with losers such as yourselves, I'll never figure out," Moo said, and his three brothers agreed.
"Hey!" Sheeda said. "Marth's not a loser!"
"Yeah!" Lilina said. "Our boyfriends are fine! We don't like stuck up snobs such as yourselves."
Link snapped and started to go all Mortal Kombat on their asses, leaving the Fire Emblem boys, his girlfriend, Roy's girlfriend, and Marth's wife to be astounded.

"WHO'S A SMUDGE ON THE PAVEMENT, NOW, HUH?" he shrieked, and kicked their bloody carcasses for good measure.
"Uh, Link?" Roy said.
"What?" Link said, instantly calming down and acting as if nothing happened.
"...Nevermind. Let's go home, we have the Battle of the Bands tomorrow."
"Oh, and Roy?" Lilina asked.
"What?"
"Your dad's waiting for you at the Manse."
"...Oh dear Elimine."
Marth found the conversation amusing and snickered. Sheeda stared at Marth for a minute, grabbed his arm, and walked with him to the Manse. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.
But Link didn't think so.

- - -

Author's Notes: So, my fellow readers, what did you think of this chapter? Well, if you'd like to, please review! I like to hear what people think of my fanfics.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Mo, Moo, Adpot, and Rowe-gull belong to Quikil. Fire Emblem belongs to Intelligent Systems/Nintendo. Melee belongs to Hal Laboratories/Nintendo. The songs, lyrics, and artists featured here belong to their respective places, not me. Use of the lyrics falls under the fair use act. They belong to their respective bands, people, whoever.