"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't help but stare at the sleeping beauty next to me. She looked so peaceful when she slept. So young and innocent. Carefully not to wake her up I got out of bed.
I walked over to my desk and grabbed my sketchbook and a pencil. In the moonlight I started to draw her perfect features. Every detail about her was absolute perfection. Her cute little nose, her curls. I knew her for only three days but I was completely enchanted by her.
When I finished my drawing, I put my sketchbook and pencil back on my desk. When I got back in bed she immediately snuggled up against me. Eventually I fell asleep in her arms.
I woke up in Ashley's arms. I could get used to waking up every morning like that. I didn't know where that thought came from. I only knew her for three days but there was something special about her. I couldn't deny there was a chemistry between us. From the moment I got lost in her eyes, I felt comfortable around her.
I needed to go to the bathroom so I quietly got out of bed. When I got back, she was still asleep. I got back in bed again and just looked at her. I couldn't help myself and carefully put back a strand of hair behind her ear. I just wanted to see her beautiful face. Apparantly I hadn't been careful enough, because she opened her eyes and looked at me. And I couldn't do anything else but to look back. We just lay there looking at each other without saying a word.
None of us wanted to break the spell we were currently under. I got closer to her and stroked her hair without breaking our eye contact. And for the first time I felt like I had come home. I couldn't explain it, but just lying so close to her was all I needed. Nothing else didn't matter at this moment. Not my past, not my present and not my future. It was just the two of us in this perfect moment. Nothing else seemed to exist. And so many emotions went through me. I never felt anything like this before in my life. One look at her told me she felt exactly the same.
I couldn't explain what influence Jessica had on me. But when I opened my eyes I found her looking at me. I couldn't find any words and just looked back at her. Her eyes that contained so much emotions never left my own eyes. God, I could lay forever like this. It felt so good just lying in her arms. And then she came closer to me and started to stroke my hair. I couldn't explain it but we understood each other perfect without a word being spoken.
I really wanted to kiss her and I fought hard to not give into this feeling. Because I knew if we would kiss, I wasn't able to stop myself to go further. But it was to soon. She wasn't ready and I didn't want her to freak out. So I did the only thing I could think of and broke our contact and got out of bed.
Ashley's face was so close to mine that our noses almost touched. And that moment I realized I wanted to kiss her. Wait! What? This couldn't be true. I didn't do relationships. I didn't let anyone get close to me. But somehow she managed to come close to me. One look at her let me know she wanted the same as me. I could see her struggle to not give into her feelings. She broke our contact and got out of bed. I felt relieved and dissapointed at the same time. I really had wanted that she kissed me but I knew I wasn't ready for it.
When I came home later that day my mother immediately noticed that something was different. She asked me what happened but I couldn't explain it. I myself didn't even know what happened. There were no words in what language in the world that could describe what I felt. This feeling was completely new for me. And at the same time it felt completely natural. My mother seemed to understand that I couldn't say and just hugged me.
I went to my room and sent Ashley a text. They were only four words but they meant so much more.
Thank you for everything
Her reply came within seconds.
Anytime beautiful
The rest of my weekend I spent at home. Doing my homework and decorate my room. But I felt lonely without Ashley around me. I couldn't stop think about her. I couldn't stop think about the things that didn't happen. And I missed her physical presence although we texted all weekend.
That monday morning Lilly was there again to give me a ride to school. After the accident I hadn't drove a car myself. And I hadn't a problem with taking the bus to school but apparently my new friends had worked out a schedule for driving me to and from school.
That Thursday I had a free period and I ran into Aubrey. She asked me of I had a moment. Apparantly Stacie had recorded our little duet, and Aubrey asked me if I would join their a capella group. I really didn't want to even though I loved music. I told her that I would think about it and she didn't push me. But I did attended all their rehearsals. Although I didn't sing myself I really enjoyed listening to them. They all had great voices and they sounded very good together.
I understood why Aubrey asked me to join them because they missed a voice in their group. I really didn't know if I was ready to join them, but one day I found myself singing with them during their rehearsal. It happened subconciously and first I didn't noticed it. I realized it after they all stared at me in surprise. I really had missed singing. And since that day I was a Bella.
