Authors note: So lots of stuff happend in the episode, lots of information. I hope I didn't use too much from the episode. And even tho I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter, it's what I ended up with.


JJ texted me when she left Quantico telling me she had to have a quick talk with Cruz and she would be home for dinner. One hour later I haven't heard anything I know in my heart something is wrong. When her phone keeps ringing with no answer I call my mum over to watch the kids and I ask Garcia to trace her phone telling her she lost it on her way home. When I get to the location and find her car and phone but not her I know my worst fear is coming true. I know I could find her on my own but it would take too long and it might be time for the team to find out some of the things JJ's been forced to keep back from them. A call to Hotch and I'm racing over to Quantico.

"Jen never came home. She texted me when she left here and said she was going to run an errand and be home in time for dinner. An hour later I hadn't heard anything I couldn't get a hold of her, I had Garcia trace her phone and I found it and her car and no Jennifer. I just knew something wasn't right" I tell him as soon as I step out of the elevator where he was waiting for me. She warned me that if something ever happened to her that the work for the state department could come back and haunt her. And with Cruz getting the job as section chief it's just too much of a coincidence. My thoughts are racing and I'm starting to get light headed and I notice Hotch trying to get my attention and as I stumble he reaches out to grab my arm so I don't go tumbling to the floor.

"Emily what do you know?"

"She made me promise not to say anything. She and Cruz worked together at the state department. When he started here all the secret spy things started happening again and she told me some of it but that didn't mean that I liked it. She told me that if anything ever happened to her to call Cruz, that he would know what to do. But I couldn't reach him.

"Hotch, the kids... I have to make sure they are safe."

"Of course I'll put a security detail to protect them, and you..."

He doesn't have time to say more before I cut him off "No way Hotch! I know I don't work here anymore but you need me here! I can't sit holed up somewhere when my wife is out there, somewhere going though who knows what at the moment, I earned the right to be here! I wouldn't be of any use to my kids being a nervous wreck." I trail of as the lump in my throat prevents me from saying anything else and the panic in my heart grows by the second.

"I knew you wouldn't take the offer but I still had to ask. You're always welcome here Emily you know that. The kids are at home? With your mother?" He asks and I merely nod as I take a deep breath to try to calm myself. He gestures for us to go in to the meeting room as he tells Anderson to try to reach Cruz. He's missing just like JJ and he seems to have been gone for at least 24 hours. Hotch disappears to talk to the director. I send off a brief text to an old contact at Interpol that might be able to help.

I call my mum to let her know what's happening and I know the team will have questions for me but I just need a moment to collect myself. I hurry in to the bathroom and I rush towards one of the stalls and throw up what little I had for dinner. I wash of my face and rinse my mouth out and I stare at my reflection in the mirror making myself snap into agent mode instead of wife mode. I used to compartmentalize all the time before I met Jennifer. But she is my weakness but she's also my strength and my heart as much as my soul.

"I will find you Jennifer, I swear." I tell my reflection before I leave the bathroom.


The team knows I'm here and I know they will have a lot of questions for me but I head to JJ's old office which is now a storage room to pull out the lock box she has stashed in there. It's a four digit code and I know without thinking about it what the code is, Alexa's birthday and it pops open. I look through the papers quickly but there isn't much in there, most of it is blacked out. But it gives us a code name that I text to Hotch before I push it closed and lift it up and bring it back to where the rest of the team is. I head in and put the box on the floor as I hear Garcia saying she couldn't get anything of their phones because they are encrypted.

"Emily what do you know?" I get asked by Morgan. "I have some information but nothing to detailed. Hopefully Hotch will fill in some blanks when he gets back from the state department."

"But JJ worked at the state department in 2010, anything Strauss would have authorized would be archived in SCIF." Reid pips up.

My mind starts racing on how we could get access to the facility, I can't just sit here and wait for Hotch.

"Anderson. He archives those reports. He could get me and Garcia in."

"But how would she access that information without drawing attention to herself? There must be something here or at your house?" Morgan asks me and I simply lift the box and open if for them to see.

"The only thing of value I could see was a code name we'll search it at SCIF" I pull Garcia with me as we leave to go check the archives.

"Hotch what do you got?" I ask as I answer my phone.

"The information I got from state is Integrity is the name of the database created out of the mission. A failsafe that was put in place to protect covert agents and operations. But JJ and Cruz knew about it so it is very likely that's why they were taken. They have the codes to access them."

"Okay, Garcia found pictures of the people Jen worked with we're bringing them back to the BAU, meet you back there" I tell him as Garcia and I hurry back to the car.

As we come back my phone pings and my Interpol contact came through sending me a file. We're all sitting around the table as it's time to put all the information we got together.

"JJ was briefed by Strauss when she got to Afghanistan that she would be splitting time between there and DC. The mission was code word classified, that the people she worked with wouldn't even knew the work she did. That was why her transfer to the state department was necessary according to Strauss. That's where she first met Cruz. She also worked with a translator and one other guy that she worked closely with. I don't know their names." I tell them whilst looking at a spot on the wall the entire time.

"Okay so I got one more name from the photos, Hastings. He was killed by man named Askari." Garcia tells us as she puts up a photo of Hastings.

"I reached out to an old contact at Interpol and we got another name and face from the mission, the translator a man named Askari. Former Iraqi Special Forces turned interrogator. He was their lead translator on the task force until an attack exposed him as a traitor and he went underground. I sent you all the file." I tell them as I scan through the file as the others do the same.

"So this is who has JJ?" Garcia asks us with rage filling her eyes. Not a very common look for her by I know how she feels.

"Just his name says a lot, student of nature and soldier." I continue.

"His methods are well documented, he tends to break his victims within a day. And they have had Cruz for that amount of time already" Hotch says with a sombre look on his face.

JJ POV

I see a blurry person coming through the door and it takes me a moment to realize its Emily.

"JJ? God you're freezing" She tells me as she reaches out to touch me.

"Emily? How did you find me?"

"It doesn't matter.

"It's taking everything... I can't... I think I might break" Her beautiful face vanished from my sight and Cruz is there in her place. I'm starting to see things but I know she will come for me. I have to stay strong till she comes. I can't break. If I give them what they want they have no more use for me. I can't let that happen.

Emily POV

My mind flashes back to our plane ride to Paris after I "died". I was heartbroken that I had to leave her, especially since we just found out she was pregnant but we both knew that there was no other way and hopefully it wouldn't be for too long. She was troubled about work and suspected a double agent. I'm snapped back to the present when Hotch is trying to get my attention.

"Cruz never officially applied for the job as section chief, but someone did. Or he used favours to get close to JJ. Askari works for the highest bidder." He trails off.

"Jen suspected a double agent. She could have been talking about Cruz." I get up and start pacing.

"But if they are working together why do they need her? He has a higher clearance then she does. Or they need two higher ranking agents to access such sensitive information, that they have half a code each" My pacing stops and I turn to Garcia.

"If an agent is compromised shouldn't their codes stop working?"

"Well yes but if you hack the server on sight there might be a way to get around that." She doesn't say anything else as she starts to work.

"But in order to hack a server and transport JJ they would have to stay local wouldn't they? To be able to stick to Askari's timeline" Morgan asks and Garcia nods and types away.

A list of possible locations pops up and Hotch says for us to head out and start going through the list. It's too many, it will take too long. As if she could hear my thoughts, the computer pings and Garcia questions what "Blackbird" is. That's the name I suggested to her as her code name and it makes me smile.

"It's Jen. If she puts in her panic sequence her code name sends out a silent alarm, telling us she's been compromised and her location. I'm headed over there, send the location to my phone and call Hotch" I tell her as I quickly make my to the elevator to go bring my wife home.

"I'm coming baby, just hold on a little bit longer"


We go in armed and ready into the building where they are keeping Jen. Hotch and I get to the room first and Hotch takes the shot to take down Askari just after he stabbed Cruz and was going for Jen.

"Oh my god! Jennifer! Are you okay?" I rush over to her and get her out of the chains and handcuffs she was in. As soon as she's free her arms go around me.

"I knew you would find me, I knew you would" I hear in my ear and hug her closer to me as I feel a tear slip down my cheek. We pull apart enough for me to see her face.

"Are you okay?" Her eyes follow mine as I notice that the buttons on her blouse are not in their correct holes and I feel the rage building up. "Were we too late?"

"No Em, I'm fine, you got here in time" She tells me as she gives me a quick kiss. I hear moans of pain behind me and I look over my shoulder at Cruz lying on the floor bleeding out. He tells us Hastings is headed for the roof and before I have time to react Jen is out of my grasp and running out the room. I vaguely hear Hotch telling me to go after her but I barely heard him, I was already running.

I'm mere seconds behind her as she starts shooting at Hastings but she's soon out of bullets and I pull her behind me as I start returning fire. He takes his chance to climb the last ladder leading to the roof when I'm too out of bullets. Jen runs ahead of me and start delivering a flurry of punches before I have time to react. He delivers a punch to her stomach, she doubles over and I'm seeing red. I punch him once, twice and a swift kick to his stomach and he goes flying off the roof and it's finally over. Jen throws herself in my arms and I'm whole again.

We make our way back downstairs where we're reunited with the team before Jen goes out to the ambulance to check on Cruz. Garcia suggests we head out for a celebratory drink and as much as I just want to go home and hold Jen close to me and never let go, I know they need this and Jen probably needs it too. After a quick change of clothes we head over to this bar that's close to Quantico and Jen never once takes her hand out of mine. We're leaning against the bar and Jen is standing next to me with her arms around my waist and leaning her head on my shoulder. My arm goes around her shoulders as I lean down to gently kiss her.

"So I heard some amazing things about you" I hear Blake say as look up at her.

"All lies" That cheeky comment earns me a playful slap on my stomach from Jen.

"No more lies" She tells the team as she looks at all of them before I gently kiss her again and her head goes back to my shoulder. I close my eyes and I just bask in the moment.

I manage to get her to eat and we stay for another hour till I feel that the last day is starting to catch up to her and it's time to go home. The guys understood and as I look over to Hotch I see him give me a small nod and I know that he called of the security detail and the kids will be waiting for us at home.

I know I'm being overprotective but I'm finding it hard to just let go of her hand as we get out of the car and head towards the house. My mum hugs Jen so tight I almost have to pry her off before she leaves for the night. It's late so the girls are both asleep and have been for hours. She takes the time to just look at them and kiss them gently before she heads of to take a shower.

She had been in the shower for no more than a few minutes before I strip my clothes up and follow her in there. She has her back against me as I step inside but I don't have to say anything she already knows I'm there. She's leaning against her forehead on her forearms against the wall and I see her body shaking slightly and it makes tears well up in my eyes. A moment later my arms are around her waist and I'm gently tugging her towards me.

I gently kiss her shoulder and ask her, "you okay honey?" I hear her sniffle as she nods her head. "It's good tears" she tells me but I keep holding her till the all the warm water is gone. After we leave the shower we get ready for bed and she cuddles up with her head on my chest and legs slung over mine. We just lie there for a while enjoying being close to each other and the pain in my heart is no more. I'm starting to think she has fallen asleep as she takes a deep breath "Emily?" "Yeah baby?"

"I think it's time for me to leave the BAU." I feel myself tense up slightly at what she just told me.

"As much as I love working there, despite all the darkness we see, all the good that we do. I just can't do it anymore. It's just too dangerous. I don't want to leave you a widow or miss seeing our girls grow up. I just... Can't." She let out that last past in a whisper. I tilt her head up so my eyes meets hers and I swear I just fell in love with her all over again.

"Are you sure that's what you want Jennifer?" She doesn't hesitate as she tells me a clear "yes". I just nod and pull her towards me.

"If that's what you want I support your decision all the way. I don't ever wanna lose you sweetheart". I grip her tighter and I see a tear run down her cheek. Without words I gently wipe it away and lean in kissing her softly.

"Besides, I know someone who once told me that if I ever wanted to work in private security I should let her know." She tells me with a smirk as she pushes my back against the bed and slowly moves on top of me.

"You should definitely do that baby" I tell her as I run my hands down her back.

"Tomorrow" She tells me before she leans down to give me a light kiss.

We take our time getting each other out of our clothes. She keeps distracting my progress in getting her naked, with her placing wet kisses everywhere she can reach. In the couple of minutes it takes us, I'm almost shaking in anticipation and arousal. I let out a shuddering gasp as she gently bites down on my pulse point. She stops what she's doing and looks into my eyes. I know what she is asking without saying a word. She's asking if I'm okay as her hands on my body feels me shaking. I answer the unasked question with smirk and a kiss so intense that in that moment I wouldn't even know my own name.

With a hand on the small of her back I flip us leaving me on top. As I brace myself on my arms next to her head I once again get lost in her beautiful blue eyes as she gently runs her hands down my face and puts my hair behind my ears. Her hands go down my back, her nails scratches lightly as she goes before she clutches my ass and she presses her heated core against mine causing me to let out a loud moan. My eyes closes briefly at the pleasure shooting down to my core at the sensation of being pressed so close to the love of my life. I feel her eyes on me as I force my eyes open as I see her smirk as she moves against me. Her smirk is soon turned in to a loud gasp as I use me leaning on my arms to move harder against her as we start up a fast and hard rhythm. As we move against each other she pulls my face down towards hers and whisper in my ear, the four greatest words I will never get tired of hearing, I love you Emily.

My hips starts moving even faster against hers as she claims my lips in a fierce kiss and the only sounds in the room are our gasps and moans with the occasional wet noise from us kissing. I can feel myself getting closer and I break our kiss to look into my wife's eyes but she has them shut tight.

"Jennifer, open your eyes for me baby" I moan out as she struggles to open her eyes.

Moments later I stare into her blue eyes and I can't hold back as I fall over the edge of climax looking deep into her gorgeous eyes that seem ever bluer then usual. My hips keep moving against hers as I feel that she's not far away from joining me in ecstasy. A loud moan followed by a gasp and her nails in my sides let's me know she's joined me in climax as our hips slow down to a stop. I gently wipe away some of her sweaty hair from her forehead as she tugs me down for another kiss before she encourages me start moving against her once more as she kisses me like she might never get the chance to ever again.

The End


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