Zim's Pak Memory Drive, 745:5439:236:831XST (Xooshlep Standard Time)
"Alright, Dib-stink," I say, reluctantly letting the Dib step inside MY base and removing my contacts as I close the door. "I'll let you inside my base and test how WORTHY you are of my trust. But don't try anything, or my computer will zap you into DIRT!"
"Zzzzzzt... PORK-FLAVORED... AARRRRRGGH," the base computer cuts in at precisely the wrong moment.
"Pork-flavored dirt?" Dib says blankly. "I wish I could say I've never heard that threat before... but I have. Darn you, Gaz!" He shudders and changes the topic. "So, down to the lower levels now, right?"
"WHAT? I NEVER SAID THAT!" I snarl, leaping in front of the toilet entrance defensively.
"Okay, so we're supposed to build humanity's doom with what... sofa pillows?" Dib grabs one off the couch to prove his point, BUT IT IS UNPROVEN IN THE EYES OF ZIM!
"YES!" I cry, snatching the pillow and holding it high. "Pillowy, oh such pillowy doom the humans shall face!" I cackle to illustrate.
"Oh come on, even you have to admit that's lame," Dib groans, rolling his eyes and retaking the pillow, THE FIEND!
"NO!" I snap, stealing the pillow back. "I REFUSE to let you into my precious labs! Your clumsy human fingers might break something!" I'm not sure what the pillow has to do with anything at this point, but Dib tries to take it from me anyway. I refuse to comply, and a tug-o'-war ensues.
"We're not going to get anything done unless you trust me!" Dib insists through gritted teeth.
"I said NO, FILTHY DIRT-CHILD!" Gritting my teeth in turn, I dig my heels into the floor and give a MIGHTY PULL, which nearly imbalances the Dib, but he glowers and pulls back with equal force.
"STOP BEING SO STUPID!"
"NEVERRRRRR!" I scream.
"YEAH WELL - " Dib pauses and looks at me. "Wait... you admit you're stupid?" I take advantage of this state of confusion to jerk the pillow free of the enemy's hands. A bout of maniacal laughter is in order; however, when said laughter has ended a half-minute later, the Dib is nowhere to be seen.
"Eh? Where'd he go?" I query, dropping the pillow and searching around.
"He went down the PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG!, idiot," the computer mutters.
"DOWN THE PIG? That horrible pig-downer!" I hiss, trying to figure out how the Dib might have done such a thing. Oohhh, he is clever indeed, in a very STUPID way.
