She yanked her pale pink robe tighter around her in a vain attempt to hide herself from him. She hadn't expected him to be there. She thought she would find Rusty instead. She wanted to talk to him and it was their tradition, back when her marriage was whole and working.

When Rusty visited, she would sneak out after everyone was asleep to meet him on the steps for a few moments alone. A few moments for them both to be able to say what they were really thinking, to give each other the hard advice that was difficult to hear in the presence of others.

Casey figured right at the moment, the hard advice would do her some good.

" Case, " Cappie acknowledged as he raised his long form from the step and turned to her completely.

" I'm sorry." She muttered. " I didn't mean to disturb you. I thought you were Rusty."

He smiled brightly. " Now that's a new one. I don't think I've ever been mistaken for Spitter."

She closed the door behind her and ventured a step closer to him. " It's kinda our thing when he visits."

Cappie leaned back against the black wrought iron railing of the porch. " I can go get him, if you prefer."

She considered that for the briefest of moments. She wasn't sure she really wanted to air out all her dirty laundry to Cappie. She wasn't certain she could be as honest with him as she would have been with her brother.

But just the thought of spending time so near him propelled her to his side where she perched herself on the top step. Then she looked up at him and smiled warmly. " Of course not, I think you'll do just fine."

He settled himself beside her, his leg so close it brushed against hers, the denim against her bare skin was heavy and scratchy and very very warm.

" It's been a while." She commented, keeping her tone light and easy.

" Yeah, " He agreed readily. " It has been."

" You ready to tell me what's been going on with you yet ?" Her curiosity since dinner was driving her insane. She knew he was purposely dodging her questions at dinner.

" No," He sighed heavily. " Not really."

She laughed quietly. " Can I have a hint ?"

" It hasn't been a great five years. You know, same old story, life's hard and things happen." He hedged again. " But tell me about you."

She shrugged. " There isn't much to tell that I'm sure Rusty hasn't told you about."

" So work is good ?" He prompted.

" Work is great. It's one of the few things in my life that is working like its supposed to. Oh, at least it was until I found out that my candidate that I was hoping to help into the White House turned out to be a sleazy statutory rapist."

" I'm sorry." He answered sympathetically. " What are you going to do now ? Are you still going to work on his campaign ?"

" After the stunt Richard pulled with his article, I doubt I'd be considered an asset to his campaign anymore."

" Believe me, I know how hard politics can be. My father-in-law was always trying to get us more involved in his world." He answered. " We fought him every step of the way. Rebeca and I aren't really political material."

She glanced at his face for a moment, looking for something to cross his eyes when he mentioned his ex-wife, but nothing showed, on the outside at least. " I think you're wrong. I think you are exactly what the political world needs. An honest man who knows how to have a good time. Yeah, " She smiled, " I think we could stand a few hundred of you."

He didn't respond to that, choosing instead to find a place out in the yard to focus on. They were silent for a while, neither of them moving or speaking as they let themselves enjoy just being together.

" What brings you to the steps tonight ?" He asked finally, shifting slightly closer to her as the wind picked up and brought with it a chill to the air.

" I wanted to talk to Rusty about Richard. How about you ? Why aren't you all tucked into bed ?"

She glanced at his face again, watching as several emotions played over his features. They finally rested on apologetic and he gave her a lopsided smile.

There was a time when she could tell exactly what he was thinking without having to ask, just by looking in his eyes. But his eyes were different now, harder, less blue, no sparkle left. The thought saddened her and she wondered what he had been through that caused that change.

" I just couldn't sleep." He replied finally. " Thought some fresh air might help."

He straightened, squaring his shoulder and put his hand on her leg. " But enough about me." He smiled. " What's the problem with Richard ? Maybe I can help since I'm here in Rusty's place and apparently that's what he does."

She laughed quietly, still undecided about telling him all her problems.

He sensed that hesitation and squeezed her leg gently. " There was a time when you could have told me anything. Nothing's changed. I'm still me, you're still you. Whatever you need to say, just say it."

" I hate him." She uttered finally, finding a spot some distance away herself to focus on. " I'm not someone who hates other people. I might dislike them, but I don't hate others."

" What's he done to cause this intensity of emotion ?" He asked, moving his hand from her leg to around behind her where it came to rest on the stone step.

She wished for a crazy, unthinking second that he would just pull her against him and hold her.

" Everything." She answered eventually. " He's done everything I could possibly imagine one person doing to another in a marriage."

" Do you love him ?" He asked quietly, searching her face for the real answer.

" I just told you, I hate him." She quipped quickly.

He chuckled. " One does not necessary preclude the other."

The silence grew between them as she considered his question carefully. Then finally she glanced over at him, and for a moment her breath caught at the beautiful perfection of his profile in the moonlight.

" I did once. I'm pretty sure I did anyway." She said finally.

" You're pretty sure you did ?" He chuckled.

" Before Chicago, I was certain. After that, everything was confused and muddled somehow." She tried to explain, but the right words just evaded her.

He nodded as if it all made perfect sense. " I can understand. We have a way of muddling up each others lives, don't we ?"

" What does that mean ? Are we bad for each other ? Or good ? I can't figure it out." She asked in frustration.

" I don't know either. Seems like I see things clearer when you're around." He shrugged, " I'm still not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing."

She turned to him and searched his eyes for a moment. " Surely, that has to be a good thing, right ? Seeing things clearer."

He sighed and leaned even closer to her, letting his body heat infiltrate her skin and drive away the chilly air. " Sometimes life is easier when you see it through rose colored glasses."

" It might be easier. But its a lie. An illusion. Sooner or later, illusions get shattered." She answered, trying her best to keep the pain from her voice.

He looked down at her, searching her eyes. " I'm so sorry, Case. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

" I'm sorry, too. Obviously life hasn't really gone your way either."

He held her eyes for several long drawn out seconds. And she caught the motion of his tongue snaking out to wet his lips quickly.

She breath caught and unconsciously leaned even closer to him, totally lost in the thought that any moment he would close the remaining distance between them and just kiss her. She realized that it was exactly what she wanted. She wanted to feel him again. Having him so close after so long was torture without it. His body was solid and comforting where it rested against her. The arm behind her became something protective and reassuring. He hadn't moved an inch, but something in his face had caused her perception of the situation to change.

They were no longer just two old friends catching up after a time spent apart. Suddenly they were old lovers, away from each other for far too long and craving each other's touch so much it was almost painful.

The emotional part of her brain, screamed at her to just do it, to lean in and take what she wanted so badly. But the logical part held her in place. What would kissing him mean ? Where would it lead ? Was she strong enough to lose him again ?

So many questions moved through her brain so quickly she couldn't keep up and it startled her when he pulled a ways back from her so he could take in her entire face.

" What are you thinking ?" He whispered and she noticed he was still so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips.

" I'm wondering what all this means and where it's going to go ?" She answered truthfully after swallowing hard.

He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from her shoulder, securing it behind her back and leaving his hand resting on her shoulder blade. " That's my Casey." He gave her a rueful smile. " Always so concerned with the future and the underlying meaning of everything."

She smiled back in return. " And there's my Cappie, never concerned for the future or worried about the consequences of his actions."

" The reckless, carefree fool and the grounded, responsible beauty. Its the story of our lives." He mused.

She laughed, feeling the truth of his words tearing at her heart all the while. They were so different, so completely opposite. Night and day. How could they have possibly thought they could be together ? How was it possible that everything had been so great between them all those years ago ?

Was it lust and attraction that tied them so tightly together they felt they couldn't breath without the other one ? Or was there something more ?

" You're still thinking so hard I can almost see smoke coming out of your ears." He told her with a genuine smile that lit up his entire face.

" There's just so much to think about. I have so many questions. So many worries." She explained.

He leaned back, taking himself out of her space along with the warmth of his body and a shiver ran through her. She hadn't meant for that to happen.

" I didn't come here to add to those worries. That wasn't my intention at all. I just missed you so badly. I wanted to see you." He slumped against the iron railing. " Maybe I was being selfish, as usual and I made a mistake. I shouldn't have come."

His words jolted her and she put her hand on his knee and squeezed it tightly. " Cappie, please don't think that. I've missed you, too. You have no idea how much. I'm so glad you're here."

He shook his head. " My timing is bad. Your life is too complicated already, with your job and work. I just made it harder. It would have been easier if I'd stayed away. Easier on both of us."

" Easier how ?" She asked in confusion.

" Easier because if I hadn't come, I wouldn't be fighting against myself to keep from doing what I so badly want to do and you wouldn't be thinking so hard about how you're going to react when I lose the battle." he said. Telling her that kissing her was something inevitable, unavoidable. Something he wouldn't be able to fight against for long.

He was warning her, in his own way. Telling her that if she didn't get up and go inside it was going to happen and she would just have to deal with that. He was giving her a chance to back away, to flee to the safety of her room and leave him just as she'd found him.

She wasn't really sure how she managed to get through the few minutes it took her to make the decision in her head.

Thank God, it didn't take long. As soon as the thought was locked into her brain, she launched herself at him and lost herself in the breath of surprise that escaped from his lips and she claimed them with her own.