Phase 23.4
For some time I remained frozen, staring at the impossible sight before me. I held up a hand and sure enough, a silhouette obscured part of my view of Shangri'la through the ring of light. Somehow I was really seeing the place, and it really existed, yet I remained blind to everything else.
"I wonder..."
I got up and cautiously approached the anomaly, false right hand outstretched. Figured it was the better of my two hands for experimenting. As I half expected, it slipped right through the light and into the crystal world without so much as an itch.
My lungs inhaled sharply as an idea crossed my mind.
"Inori!"
I hurriedly got dressed in something warm, afraid the whole time that the portal would vanish before I was ready. But no matter how many times I looked away, it still waited for me, ever more unbelievable each time I laid my eyes upon it but always just as real. Still, the very moment I had an outfit together I wasted no time jumping through to the other side where I set foot on Shangri'la's crystal ground.
"I can see...everything!"
Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked around the world, and down at myself. I was anxious to see what my own body looked like after three years, how my false hand was holding up, and what colors of clothes I put on. Black pants, blue shirt, gray coat—compared to my memories the shades seemed so vibrant, even the darker ones. Haruka made sure I didn't even own anything that would clash, which I imagined meant that much of my clothing was some shade of black or white. I wasn't the least bit concerned with variety right now, though.
I scrambled about the place for a large, flat crystal and held the first one I could find up in front of my face. Naturally my reflection was a bit more mature than I remembered, and some stubble had begun to form since I was too tired to shave before bed.
"Ouma Shu," I said to the reflection, as if to name myself all over again. Overall I was satisfied with what I saw. I'd changed a bit, but I was still very much me. At least, one version of me. There was a time when this crystal world didn't strike the slightest bit of fear in my heart, and a time when I couldn't even approach Inori when she needed my help. A fearless me and a me paralyzed by fear. After living a relatively normal life for so long, it was hard to tell which me's reflection I was looking at.
My self-inspection was interrupted by the wind suddenly swirling by, carrying with it the faint sound of a singing voice—one I knew only too well.
"Mou anata kara aisareru koto mo, hitsuyou to sareru koto mo nai..."
I dropped the crystal from my hand and let it shatter on the ground. More tears threatened to fall after it. Was I dreaming after all? Was someone just playing a recording? My feet automatically took a slow, careful step towards the source of the wind.
"Soshite watashi wa koushite hitoribocchi de..."
Another slow step. It was definitely not my imagination. My ears didn't deceive me. An invisible force seemed to build up within me until at last I cast aside all caution and concern and charged forward in an all-out run after the voice.
"Come on, keep singing, Inori!"
She did, and I didn't let up my pace, not even to catch my breath. Through the crystal city I ran, too absorbed in my thoughts to pay attention to where exactly I was going. The crunch, crunch of tiny crystals beneath my feet reached an incredible frequency as my legs carried me farther and faster than I knew was possible. At last through the fog a tall, distinctive structure emerged in the distance.
"Roppongi fort? Is that the tower everyone saw in the video?"
With a destination in sight I redoubled my charge, determined to settle things as quickly as possible, whatever the truth might be. The fort's presence was rather puzzling, considering this world was a crystal copy of the other and unless I was horribly mistaken Roppongi fort was destroyed years ago. Then again, the same could be said of Inori.
"Hanasanaide, gyutto te o nigitte ite..."
The song continued, louder and closer as I reached the foot of the crystal fort and went inside. Of course taking an elevator up to where the music came from was out of the question, so I went straight for the stairs and kept moving, gasping for breath.
"Inoriiii!" I called out, even though I knew she probably wouldn't hear. A large part of me still feared that she wasn't even there at all. But what if she was? That's the question that kept me running. Maybe, just maybe...
By the time I made it to the top floor, I was practically crawling on my hands and knees from exhaustion. My vision was spotty. I had no choice but to stop and breathe a moment before entering the room ahead.
"Tsunaida sono te wa atatakakute, yasashikatta," the song finished as I forced my feet forward just a few more steps before being stopped in my tracks again. As I remembered it, the top floor of Roppongi fort was basically just an observation deck overlooking the city. Only here, all of it was encased in crystal, and the roof was torn open. In its place stood a giant, hollow crystal formation reaching straight up as far as the eye could see, a spiral staircase ascending it along the edge. All manner of strange objects lined the wall of the towering cylinder—none of them crystal, and each on a shelf formed right into the wall. But most importantly of all, sitting on the floor in the center of the room, facing away from me and looking over Shangri'la, was a pink-haired girl with nothing more than a slender white dress to keep her warm amidst the world's hollow cold. She seemed to hear me approach.
"This is the part where she always turns into Mana..."
But she didn't. I watched with my jaw hanging open as Yuzuriha Inori slowly turned around and stood up. A few crystals had grown around her face, but for the most part she looked whole. I couldn't believe it. At first in shock I felt absolutely nothing, then there was something of an explosion in my chest. Suddenly my marathon had no toll on my physical state, and I ran forward yet again, calling out Inori's name along the way, this time letting the tears run free.
"Shu!"
Tears sparkled in Inori's eyes as well, increasing my longing for her all the more. I just wanted to hold her close, feel her hand in mine, protect her—but to my surprise and dismay, she firmly held out a hand to stop me before I could.
"Inori?"
I found myself taking Inori's extended hand in mine despite her obvious reluctance, and she gently pulled it away.
"Inori...your hand—it's so cold. Are you—"
"Shu...I'm sorry."
I'd never heard a more thrilling, wonderful apology. Just being able to see and hear Inori again was enough—her words could hardly add more meaning to all the different things I already felt inside.
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I want to let you—believe me, I do—but I can't."
"I-I don't understand."
"Mmm."
Inori headed for the spiral staircase.
"Walk with me?" she asked.
Of course I followed, as close beside Inori as she would allow.
"You know, I didn't bring you here for me," she spoke quietly. "But I know you have lots of questions about me, so I will answer them as quickly as I can. But Shu, I..."
"Yes?"
"I feel I should tell you right away that...we can't be together."
A knife pierced my heart, but only made me more determined, as such emotional wounds have a way of doing.
"Inori, what—"
She paused her ascent of the staircase for a moment to turn and put a finger on my lips. I might have enjoyed it, but the look on her face was so solemn that the gesture only added to my sudden pain.
"Please just listen. You can't be here for long."
More defiant determination burned in my soul. But I complied with her request and decided to leave the debates for later.
"I know you remember that day: the Fourth Apocalypse, when I traded fates with you to release you from the Apocalypse Virus. I know that everyone assumed I was dead. If it had been you and not me, then they would've been right, too. But when I ended up here as all those who die of the infection do, all of the Voids in me started manifesting. I couldn't contain them. It ended up saving my life, though. This tower is itself one giant Void."
"Roppongi fort is a Void?" I asked in amazement.
"Yes. I believe you know the owner: Ouma Mana?"
I broke eye contact with Inori for a moment. Yes, I definitely knew Ouma Mana, as Inori was quite aware. I never knew what her Void was, though.
"Somehow the tower contained the infection," she continued. "Perhaps it is the will of Mana to keep me alive as a vessel for her even now."
The words were hard to hear, and I could tell they were even harder for Inori to say. Still, I kept my mouth shut about it for the time being.
"At first I thought it was permanent, but it turns out the tower acts more as a shield than a sponge. When I tried leaving to explore Shangri'la, the crystals slowly dissolved from the tower and accumulated on me instead. So I hurried back inside, and I've stayed here ever since. I put all the Voids up here where they could be organized, so I could possibly still help you and the others from this world."
"Help...me..."
Inori kept walking even as I stopped a moment to grasp what she was saying.
"Say, I don't mean to be rude, but what took you so long? Why'd you wait three years to let everyone know you're still alive?"
She turned again and simply looked upward into the endless crystal tube.
"There is a Void here for every soul under 18 years of age. I believe that means something like a billion Voids or more. As you can imagine, it took me a while to find one that could open a gateway between my world and yours."
"Don't talk like that. You may have been here for three years, but my world is still your world, too."
Inori made a small noise and dropped her upward gaze to look down at her feet instead. I don't think she even realized how she'd come to think of us as belonging in separate places. A sad expression took over her face.
"So, uh...how'd you do it?" I asked, trying to brighten the mood. "Which Void finally opened the way?"
"This one," she pointed sullenly, no happier than before.
"A telescope that can see other worlds..."
"Shu? Am I a burden?"
"Huh? What brought that up?"
"You've been blind for the last three years because of me, right? And you worried because you thought I was dead, so..."
Distant or not, I couldn't let this go on any longer. Before she had time to react and stop me I threw my coat around Inori's shoulders and held both her hands in mine. Her eyes widened, almost as if in shock.
"It's...warm..." she thought aloud.
"You'll never be a burden to me, Inori. It's true, all I could think about for the last three years was seeing you again. But now that you're here, well...it makes me realize that I didn't really mind being blind. Somehow...having your blindness made us feel close, in a way."
"Shu..."
It seemed Inori might cry, but then she shook her head, withdrew her hands, and handed my coat back to me.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I've taken too long. There is still much to tell you about Da'ath. That is why I sent you a video of my song and brought you here: to warn you."
We started ascending the staircase again as Inori talked.
"This Void up here—no, not that one, this one—lets me listen in on the other world. It's a little hard to control, but I've learned a lot through it. Shu, look at me."
There was no need to obey. I hadn't taken my eyes off Inori since I arrived.
"Da'ath is closer than you think, Shu. You must be alert at all times. Make sure other people are watching you when you can't watch yourself. I know it sounds selfish, but please do as I say."
"I don't understand."
Inori leaned against the crystal stair rail and looked out at the vast collection of Voids all around us.
"Da'ath seeks the evolutionary 'rebirth' of humanity. They are impossibly ancient, and they always operate in the shadows. They also made this world, Shangri'la, to be a staging grounds for their 'rebirth'. I don't know how they've made it so that everyone who dies from the Virus ends up here for their final crystallization, but that in itself is Da'ath's greatest weapon: mystery. I think Gai would call them 'an unknown variable'."
I joined Inori in leaning over the rail, and she turned only her eyes to look at me.
"I don't know all the details, but I am quite certain they believe that since I traded with you, you can reawaken Mana."
"Me? But Mana can't even do anything to me like she...like she could to you."
"Like I said, I don't understand it all myself. But you are now Da'ath's greatest target. I couldn't risk waiting to figure it out before warning you, but I am also taking a great risk in telling you about it here without knowing more about them."
Neither of us said anything else for a moment, until I broke the silence again with a question.
"So, Da'ath is just another organization, like an opposite of Funeral Parlor?"
"Yes, you describe it well. Gai wanted to save lives and restore the order, but Da'ath wants to destroy all life to establish a new order."
"Sounds a lot like GHQ too, really. All that 'purging' of the infected that they did, even though most of the time it was just an excuse to get rid of anyone not convenient for them."
"GHQ was Da'ath's puppet. I've learned that the two of them were more closely linked than anyone ever realized—like a mind and a body."
"Right...Da'ath or whatever they are couldn't really stay so secret and turn into a government, too. So they pulled in some other guys under a different name to do their dirty work for them. Sound about right?"
"Mmm," Inori hummed her affirmation. "But things are different, now. Da'ath has everything they need except an Apocalypse. I believe they might sacrifice their secrecy for that result, now. You've seen for yourself how dangerous they are. And without your Void Genome..."
She shook her head and didn't finish her sentence.
"Now you see why I had to warn you?"
"A-ah." I thought about all my nightmares of Mana. I didn't want to think that there could be any real danger in them, but if Da'ath thought so, then I couldn't help but be a bit concerned. "Then...then let me stay here!" I blurted out.
"E-eh?"
"I want to be with you," I moved over to put my hands on the rail surrounding Inori, forcing her to look at me where she couldn't just walk away. "If I stay here then Da'ath can't do anything to us. Nobody can! It'll just be you and me." I caressed Inori's face along the crystal growth, longing to protect her.
"You know I can't accept that, Shu. You still have a life to live," she pushed me back with surprising force, releasing herself.
"So do you!"
"Yes, here. This is where I belong, now. It is my duty to contain the Virus here, and use its Voids to help those in the other world. It is my burden—my Guilty Crown. But you belong in the other world. You have to go back."
"Now wait just a minute Inori, you—"
"Shh. I don't want to do this, but I have to. We have to say goodbye. You should leave this place now, Ouma Shu."
"No! I won't leave you again!"
"Goodbye, Shu. It was nice seeing you again."
"Inori? Inori!"
With that she turned her back on me and acted like I didn't exist. I hated the thought of leaving, but I didn't want to make Inori mad or frustrated with me either, and she made her stance quite clear. Dejected, I slowly turned and walked back down the spiral staircase, stopping only once to shout and bang the wall with my fist. The sharp crystal cut into my hand until it bled, but I didn't care. I wanted to cause something a bit of pain.
"I'm really going to do it, then," I thought. "I'm just going to walk away and leave Inori here. Am I really alright with that?"
My mind went back to our first meeting, in the old club room I dreamed about only a day ago. I didn't protect her back then when GHQ showed up to arrest her for stealing the Void Genome. Later, I left her behind to cover for the rest of Funeral Parlor's infiltration team when we took down the Leukocyte. After that, I couldn't stop her being kidnapped by Yuu, the self-proclaimed 'Envoy of Da'ath'. I was too late to rescue her from Mana. All the time, Inori was always there for me, yet I never managed to return the favor.
"No," I firmly decided. "I won't do it. I won't go back to living like a coward. The trouble may never end, but I'm going to face it head on. I'm sorry Inori, but this is who you've shown me to be—and I will protect you this time! Think, Shu: do something out of character again!"
My focus was providentially drawn to the rows and rows of Voids on the wall. Inori couldn't leave the tower without the infection following her, but in theory the reverse wouldn't have the same result. As I finally descended the staircase I discreetly slipped the telescope Void into my coat, first making sure Inori's back was still turned. Then I rushed out of the tower and ran back to the portal as fast as my legs could carry me. When I stepped back into my room—and my blindness, regretfully enough—barely any time had passed. It was like I'd never even been gone. Perhaps time itself operated differently in Shangri'la.
"Well if the world beyond the Apocalypse can bend the rules, then so can I," I tried to justify my theft.
I held the telescope up in front of the ring of light so I could see its silhouette, and then collapsed it firmly. As expected, the act of closing the telescope also closed off the portal, and once again the world was made of blackness and the air was pleasantly warm. If not for the Void in my hands, I might have even discounted everything as nothing more than a remarkable dream. But the Void was my security—my proof of what transpired, and my ticket to see Inori again whenever I wanted.
...If only something about it didn't feel so wrong.
