Chapter Four: Me and my broken heArt.
All six girls walked out of the room and exited the school. Quinn was grateful because she felt as if she was suffocating in the toxic air that surrounded her. Tears streamed down her face. She literally had no idea what to do with herself. None of the girls spoke a word. None knew what to say. Finally Quinn spoke, "Alison... Do you know where Jason is? I really want to talk to him." She whispered.
"Yeah, I'll call him" Alison replied stepping away from the group as she dialed his number.
"Quinn do you need anything?" Aria asked her. When Quinn shook her head Aria just hugged her. What else could you do for a teen who was slowly falling apart inside.
"Jason said he's in his car" Alison said, "I told him I need a ride home and to wait for me... You can go talk to him if you want"
Quinn nodded and walked towards Jason DiLaurentis' car. She tapped on the driver's side window hoping he'd turn around. He did and the unshod tears in his eyes were like knives in Quinn's heart. Slowly, hesitantly, he rolled down the window. "What do you want Quinn?" He asked.
"I want to explain"
"What's there to explain?! You're pregnant with another guy's baby and you thought that I'd be okay with that? You didn't want to tell me? I mean Quinn I really like you but I can't- I just... I don't even know what to say. I can't be a father to you're baby if that's what you're looking for. I'm too young."
"I was never looking for that. I wasn't looking for any guy Jason! I was just going to be here in the background, have my baby and live my life trying to ignore the whispers and dirty looks that will follow me wherever I go. Trying to pretend those judgmental faces of every person in that high school following me as I walk from class to class with my baby in my stomach don't bother me. Do you think I want any of that Jason?! This was an accident. All of it. I wasn't trying to be with you or trick you or manipulate you. I liked you too, but now I think you'll just be another judgmental gaze in the hall. So thank you for that." Quinn's heart was breaking. Never had she ever felt this ashamed or disgraceful before in her life. She turned away from Jason and walked back towards Emily who was still waiting for her outside.
When Emily saw her come back she immediately hugged her tightly, "I'm so sorry Quinn"
Quinn hugged her back, "Don't be. This is all my fault. All of it."
Rob's voice interrupted them, "Quinn I think you and Noah need to talk. This time in a place a little less public" he suggested looking pointedly at Noah Puckerman who was standing just behind him.
"I don't want to" Quinn stated.
"What if I come with you?" Emily immediately spoke up.
"I can't take you away from your prom and your date because of my mess. Please it's fine" Quinn replied.
"Quinn, I'll have other prom's. Come on. I'll ride with you too" Emily suggested already starting towards the parking lot.
When they got to the house Quinn and Emily sat on a couch across from Noah Puckerman who was sitting in a chair. Both Katie and Rob were in the kitchen listening in case they had to intervene. It was quiet for a while. No one really knew what to say. Finally Noah spoke up, "So... do you know anything about the baby?"
Quinn took a breath, "All I know is that it's there and it's healthy."
"So how are we going to do this?" Noah asked.
"Do what Noah? I don't want you involved. You need the chance to get out of Lima and I'm giving it to you. This is never going to work. I don't want to tie you down to me or this baby. We made a mistake and no matter how much I cared about you, it was still a mistake. You're not ready to be a father, and I'm not asking you to be one" Quinn looked down at her hands in her lap. She didn't want to look Noah in the eye, she couldn't.
"I want to be involved Quinn. It's partly my fault that this happened in the first place. I wasn't very careful."
"Obviously" Emily snorted.
Noah shot her a look, "The point is that I don't want to lose you or this baby. I loved you Quinn... you were my best friend... and I wanted it to stay that way. I know that us being together will never work, but at least let me be in our baby's life. Please." Noah begged. He moved across the room and knelt down in front of Quinn. He placed one hand on her knee and used the other to lift her chin so that she was looking at him. "Please Quinn. Don't leave me out of this"
"You're right Noah... I can't leave you out of this. I may be hurt by what you did at that high school, but honestly you just did what I was too afraid to do. The truth was going to come out one way or another," She gave a sad smile wiping her tears, "I'll let you be involved Noah, but I may have to put him or her up for adoption. I don't know if I can keep a baby... I will just have to see as the time goes on, but I want you to be aware of my decision."
Noah nodded getting teary eyed, "I know... and I'm sorry for telling everyone... I just got upset and acted without thinking."
"You seem to do that a lot" Emily quipped.
Noah shot her another look, "I'm going to go now." He wrapped his arms tightly around Quinn and she fell into his embrace, her head resting against his chest and his head laid on top of hers. He lifted his head and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll talk to you soon." He promised and exited the house leaving Quinn and Emily alone in the living room.
"Will you stay with me?" Quinn whispered.
"Of course." Emily replied.
Next week when Quinn returned to school she received mixed reactions from the students about her situation. Some gave her dirty looks, others seemed afraid to even look at her. She wasn't sure why they were so afraid but she decided not to question it. It was better than the dirty looks after all. She ate lunch with Spencer, Aria, Emily, Hanna, and Alison who she knew were still talking to her. Throughout lunch she remained mostly quiet only looking up from her tray to look over to where Jason was sitting talking to his friends. Every once in awhile she caught him looking over at her, but when their eyes met he'd quickly look away.
After school Quinn was working at the coffee shop when a girl walked in with glasses and her hair in pig tails. She looked kind, and she was pretty but her beauty seemed to be hiding behind the choppy haircut and crooked glasses. Quinn figured with a little makeup she could be amazing... as pretty as the 'popular girls'. "Hey welcome to the Brew how can I help you?" She asked the girl.
"Yeah can I get a small mint tea?"
"For here or to go?"
"Here" the girl replied with a smile. After Quinn had taken her order the girl spoke again, "Hey you're Quinn right?"
"Yep that's me. Quinn the pregnant girl" Quinn sighed accepting her title.
"I heard about that... I wasn't at prom... but um... I'm sorry that it got out the way it did. How are you feeling?" The girl asked.
"You know you're the first person to ask me that? I'm actually doing okay. I haven't had any morning sickness or anything. I'm sure I will soon, also haven't had to do any shopping which is nice" Quinn smiled. She was happy to chat with the girl. The store had been slow this afternoon and she was happy for the company. "By the way I don't think you told me your name"
"I'm Mona Vanderwaal, I'm a sophomore. I think I'm in your English class."
"Oh I feel bad I didn't recognize you... you sit in the back don't you?" Quinn bit her lip as she finished making Mona's tea and gave it to her.
"Yeah... and it's fine. Most people don't remember me. Unless their Alison to tell me how much she hates me and how I'm a waste of space." Mona muttered.
"That's awful... Maybe I can talk to her about it" Quinn suggested.
"NO!" Mona cried out, "I mean it's no use and it would make her mad at you too. Don't worry about it. I'm not the only one who suffers Alison's wrath." Mona shrugged. Quinn knew that Alison was a mean girl but it did occur to her her how bad it actually was. She had to wonder if she was like this when she was at William McKinley. Did she make others actually afraid of her?
"Okay... I'm sorry about that... um Can I get you anything else?"
"No, I should be going. Thanks anyway" Mona stood and left the store where Quinn was left to think on her own.
"Hey Q..." Zach, the manager, came up behind her causing her to jump, "Can I talk to you for a second?" Quinn nodded and followed him to a corner of the store, "I overheard that customer that was just in here and heard her say that you were pregnant. Is that true?" He asked looking pointedly at her. She drew in a breath feeling like she was about to use the one job she needed.
"I-I- Yeah... its true" Quinn sighed.
"I'm not going to fire you if that's what you thought" Zach started, "I see that things are already hard for you and I was thinking of making you a manager so that you could get a few more hours and make some more money." He finished.
Quinn's face relaxed, "Wow... Zach... Thank you so much!" Quinn smiled, "I don't know what to say!"
"Your smile is enough" Zach replied, "So um... starting next week, I'll train you to be a manager. I always wanted to travel anyway and now that I have you to cover my managing shift I can go." Zach smiled again.
"Thanks again Zach" Quinn smiled slightly.
"Well, it's closing time. I'll see you soon" Zach nodded towards her as Quinn hung up her apron to leave the shop. She waved goodbye and heard the ringing of the bells as she exited.
On the way home Quinn stopped at the store and picked herself up a pint of ice cream. As she walked around the store she found herself drawn to the baby items. She walked down the isle checking the prices of a car seat, a crib, clothes, formula, bottles. In short, it all added up to a lot. Quinn didn't know how she'd be able to afford all of these things. She had a job. Her aunt and uncle would probably help with some things, but not everything... and then there was Noah who may or may not be reliable.
Just then her phone rang in her pocket, 'Speak of the devil' Quinn thought as she saw Noah's name flashing across the screen. She picked it up and answered it, "Hey Noah... what's going on?" Quinn asked.
"Hey Q... I um just wanted to tell you I got a job at Burt's auto shop so that I can help with the baby. I know it's kind of late, but I just finished my first day so I wanted to let you know that I think I'm going to be good at this job. I wanted you to know I could help. I'm going to be there for you. I promise. I love you Quinn"
Quinn froze, "You-"
"I didn't mean- I'm sorry-"
"No... it's okay- I- I love you too Noah" Quinn bit her lip.
"Turn around" She heard Noah's voice louder than it was before. Quinn's eyes watered and she turned around to see Noah Puckerman standing behind her. "I know I said I was going home, but I couldn't leave you without telling you how I really felt. I love you Quinn Fabray. Always have. Always will. Especially now" He smiled. Quinn put her phone back into her pocket and closed the distance between her and Noah. He took her into his arms and kissed her for all the years he'd missed kissing her because she was with someone else.
Quinn kissed him back feeling her heart pound in her chest, "I'm sorry for everything." Quinn whispered leaning into his chest. He just wrapped his arms tighter around her. The two walked out of the store and Puck kissed her again, "You'll come visit soon?" Quinn asked knowing that Puck had to get back to Lima.
He nodded, "I'll come as much as I can." He promised.
They got into their separate cars and headed to their own homes. When Quinn arrived at home, the porch light was on and a girl was sitting in the swing. As Quinn got closer she realized that it was Alison. "Hey Ali... what's going on?" Quinn raised an eyebrow confused. There were tears in Ali's eyes when she looked up at Quinn, "Ali are you okay?" Quinn asked concerned with her.
"Can I just stay here tonight? Please." Alison begged. Quinn nodded and led her inside up to her room. Quinn turned on the t.v and sat down to do her homework. "I'm sorry for just showing up here... I just needed a place to be right now... I'm scared... someone is stalking me. I hate to even be telling you thins, I mean the last thing you need is my drama on top of your own" Alison looked down at the floor.
Quinn closed her book and looked over at Alison, "What do you mean someone is stalking you?" Quinn asked.
"I mean I get these texts from someone about everyone and everything... it's like they know where I am and what I'm doing and every single one of my little dirty secrets. I just want to get away... It's been going on all year and as the end of the year gets closer, the worse it gets... some of them are threatening and I'm afraid" Alison whispered.
"Why haven't you told the cops"
"Because they threatened me not to" She replied.
"Okay well... Um... just try to get some sleep." Quinn suggested. Within minutes Alison was asleep, but now Quinn would be the one tossing and turning all night.
With the next few weeks came more awkward run-ins with Jason, more time with Emily, more hours at work, more homework, and Alison was becoming more tense by the minute. It was enough to make Quinn's head spin. The one thing Quinn had to look forward to was a checkup with her doctor for the baby. The next appointment after this one Quinn would find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. She was so exited that nothing could faze her. She placed her hands on her slightly enlarged stomach and smiled.
Quinn shuffled some books around in her locker and was just about to head to class when she almost, literally, ran into Jason. "Hey Quinn... I was wondering if I could talk to you." He looked nervous. Quinn nodded. "Alone" he added holding out his hand to lead her to who-knows-where. They ended up in an empty wing of the hallway. Before Quinn could say anything Jason's lips collided with hers.
Quinn was shocked at first, but finally managed to push him away, "I thought you said you wanted to talk" Quinn blurted out. Jason ignored her and continued to try to kiss her. "Jason stop... you smell like beer" Quinn realized pushing him harder.
"Quinn please... I haven't been able to think about anything but you. I just need you" Jason huffed.
"What you need is a strong cup of coffee and some sleep." Quinn shoved him off of her and he stumbled around the hall a bit before regaining his balance. "Come on... I'll take you to the coffee shop" Quinn held her hand out to him. Jason took it, his body weight falling on her as she dragged him to her car. She helped him in and buckled him up.
Once Jason was settled at the front where Quinn could see him with a cup of black coffee she was able to work. After about an hour Quinn was cleaning the coffee machines when Jason spoke again, this time his words less slurred, "I'm sorry Quinn... I really have been a mess since you. I really like you... and I hate that I ruined it"
"You didn't ruin it. You were right. It was never going to work anyway. I'm having another guys baby."
"Ugh don't remind me" Jason groaned.
"Jason... I can't change what happened... but we can be friends if you want"
He snorted, "Right friends... well I guess that's better than the awkward glances in the hall. I'd like being your friend... so um thanks for everything, but I have to get to work" Jason stood up and picked up his jacket, "Oh... can I get a cup of coffee to go?" He asked. Quinn nodded and made one for him. "Thanks... I have a late shift at the grocery store... exciting life" He smirked.
"Bye Jason" Quinn smiled sadly, "I'll see you around"
"Yeah... how about dinner tomorrow night? I think I owe you a proper apology." Jason suggested.
"I have a doctors appointment." Quinn shrugged.
"Then we'll see a movie at my place" He offered.
"I don't know Jason..."
"Just as friends" He looked into Quinn's hazel's eyes and smiled.
She couldn't resist, "Okay... see you then"
okay so I'm a little stuck on this... let me know if there's anything you want to see. I have a Quinn/Emily scene coming up very soon I promise, so anything else you all want to see please let me know.
