Author's Note: I have an excuse for missing my last update- school, lack of inspiration, but mostly…well, my computer died; completely and utterly. I was able to bring it back from the dead, but I had to skip my last update :(
And I just became aware of a really big spelling error in the title…D'oh! I also wanted to include a special bonus at the end to make up for missing the update, but I barely finished this chapter as it was. However, I might have some art related to this fanfic on my website, if I can set it up properly…cross your fingers!
Stranger Than Fiction
Chapter Four: Things Get Even Crazier
Cautiously peering around the back door, Lauren surveyed the living room cautiously. The only sound to be heard was the ticking of the kitchen clock, and the humming of the fridge.
Well, apart from the loud throbbing music and chatter of voices from the basement.
Lauren sighed. "Looks like Monica's party will go pretty late…" Turning around, she motioned to Ed that the coast was clear.
In fact, the kitchen (though deserted) was covered in everything from toilet paper to spilt pop. Taking of their shoes and gingerly stepping over the junk scattered across the kitchen floor, both Ed and Lauren tried to get to the other side of the room.
"Really, and what gave you that idea?" He replied somewhat sarcastically, nearly slipping on a stray newspaper. It didn't help that the floors were wooden, and it was easy to slip.
Insert yet another sigh from Lauren. Ed was cool, but also very exasperating. "I was going to let you sleep downstairs. Nobody but me ever goes down there, and it's actually very well insulated."
But then, she realized ruefully, I don't think I have the energy to clean it up right now. Maybe he could use the guest room?
She was just pondering the consequences of telling her sister (or, god forbid, her parents) that Ed was staying for the night, when there was a yelp and a thud behind her. Poor Ed had slipped on a pile of streamers, and was currently lying on the ground with tissue paper stuck all over him and a look of extreme pain. His bag of candy lay strewn across the floor.
"Umm…are you alright?" She asked hesitantly.
"Friggin' fantastic…Ow, my back…" He grimaced, managing to push himself up against the wall. Lauren shook her head and offered her hand mutely, which he took.
"Thanks." He grimaced. "Wait…I think I'm stuck to the wall."
Lauren thought this would be a bad time to mention the empty jug of grape juice only a few metres away, so she simply helped him up (it really was amazing how sticky that stuff could be…). Picking up the spilt treats, she quickly stuffed them into his bag.
"C'mon, we have to get you upstairs before something bad happens-"
There was a crash from downstairs and the music stopped, followed by a loud, exuberant shout. Lauren and Ed grimaced.
"I think the speakers are busted." Lauren said amusedly. "Oh well, at least I won't have to listen to all that emo punk rock junk Monica keeps playing. I like rock, but honestly…all Monica's favourite songs are full of is screaming and mindless noise."
"What are you talking about?" Ed asked wearily, too tired to really care.
"I don't know." She laughed, waving her hand dismissively.
The stairs weren't much better then the kitchen and front hallway. It was almost like a mini-tornado with a penchant for littering and a love for sticky liquids had swept through the house. Thankfully, though, they managed to brave the fearsome obstacles until…
"What the hell?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. It's just Jared's old baby gate." Lauren replied in a matter-of-factly sort of way. "Actually, I'm surprised Monica was practical enough to put that up…guess she didn't want to sleep in a pile of pop and junk food either. Or she knew Mom would kill her if someone so much as touched the china set…yeah, it was probably the china set."
And after a few minutes of fiddling with the infuriating piece of plastic, Lauren finally opened it with a flourish. "Well, this is the upstairs."
It was just as neat as the rest of the house had been, with pale yellow walls and red carpeting. Looking around curiously, Ed followed her as she made a beeline towards what could only be her room. It was purple, with a purple bedspread and…well…purple everything. It was actually kind of disturbing. Her bed was neatly nestled into the corner next to the window, and a small bookcase sat next to in; on the other side were a small wooden desk (on which sat a strange metal and plastic box and a pile of paperwork) and her closet. The room wasn't very big, only a one metres to three across from the door, and three to five the other way. Strangely enough, her walls were bare and her shelves were mostly empty of anything besides a few toys and books.
"I know it's kind of small, but I like it." She said cheerfully. "Now for the guest room…"
The guest room was about twice the size of Lauren's room, although less homely. It had only a small dresser (which only had a lamp and an alarm clock on it) and a bed, with white-washed walls and pale peach carpeting. Ed could just barely make out the silhouettes of the branches from the tree outside on the curtains.
"I know it's not much, but I think you'll be alright here." Lauren replied, heading straight for the door. "Call me if you need me."
Ed sat down on the bed and glanced over at the alarm clock. It was only half past eight, but he was so tired that the only thing he wanted to do was sleep and forget any of this had happened…or pretend it was all a dream. Sighing, he fell back onto the mattress.
I wonder what Al's doing…or if I'll ever see him again.
---
It was a scant hour later that Lauren was awakened by the loud honking of a car horn. Groaning, she reluctantly pushed her warm covers aside (shivering, because of the cold air from the open widow), stood up and pulled the curtains aside.
"Bloody neighbours…have to wake everyone up every single-"
She suddenly became self-conscious when she saw a boy with blue eyes and black hair staring up at her from the driveway.
"Hi, can you come down now, or is this a bad time?" He grinned.
"Christopher Greene! What the heck are you doing on my driveway at-" She checked the clock. "Nine fifty-five in the middle of the night?"
"I wanted to know if you wanted to go shopping."
"Right now?" She replied, confused. "Why not tomorrow?"
He looked sheepish. "Well, we kind of haven't really talked for a month for more then fifteen minutes, and I know you don't like shopping that much, but…well, Leigh got herself stuck at Hilton mall. I thought it'd be nice if someone else could help me look for her."
Lauren rolled her eyes. "Alright, I'll come." A sudden thought occurred to her. "Hey, is it okay if I bring someone else?"
"The more the merrier." He answered.
She grinned. "Great, I'll be right down." Ducking out of sight, she headed straight for Ed's room and knocked on the door twice.
"Ed, could you wake up? I have-"
Lauren was interrupted by the sound of someone retching. Confused, she turned towards the previously unacknowledged bathroom, where the noise had originated from.
"Umm…hello?" Cautiously, the teenager moved closer tried to get a better view.
The sight that met her eyes not only surprised her, but left Lauren gaping. The lights were on, and she could barely see Ed practically clinging to the toilet. He wasn't wearing much besides his pants and a black tank top; the alchemist hadn't even stopped to put his hair in a ponytail.
"Meh?" She managed.
"He's sick." Jared replied, seemingly materializing out of thin air and making her jump.
"I can see that! But…but how did he get sick? He was perfectly fine earlier!...and when did you get back!" She sputtered.
Jared shrugged. "I came in a few minutes ago; the party didn't last very long. Anyway, he's had to cross over from another dimension, did you expect him to be peachy-keen? Besides, it isn't like this popped up just now- I bet he hasn't been feeling very well the entire evening. Why do you think he gave in to trick-or-treating so easily?"
"What?" Lauren replied, feeling her stomach tying itself in knots as guilt set in.
"I-I'm alright." Ed panted. "I'm just not feeling very-" He threw up again.
Awkwardly patting him on the back, Lauren tried her best to console him. "It's okay, just try not to talk."
"Why'd you want to talk to him anyway?" Jared asked curiously.
She blinked. "Oh, well…Chris wanted to go to the mall, and he said it was okay if I brought a friend, so I figured this would be a good time to go shopping for Ed without Mom or Dad breathing down my neck."
"In the middle of the night?" Jared raised an eyebrow.
"Well, he said he needed help looking for Leigh." Lauren replied defensively. "He said she'd gotten stuck at the mall-"
"Again?" Jared interrupted.
"Yes Jared, again…" Lauren sighed.
Ed once again proceeded to empty his stomach, and both Jared and Lauren winced.
"…although judging by the sound of that, it may be better to just stay with him at home." Lauren finished.
"I'm fine!" Ed snapped, furiously washing off his hands and face. "Look, I've caused you enough trouble, I don't need anything else!"
"Yes, you do! If you hadn't popped up the one night of the week when walking around as an anime character was the norm, you'd be hauled off to some asylum! Or worse, they'd take you seriously (which I don't doubt, with that arm) and decide to pull you apart from the inside out!" Lauren ranted. "In fact, if you don't-"
Ed was seized by yet another technicolour yawn, and suddenly all her pent up aggression disappeared.
What sort of a person am I? Here he is, sick as a dog -which is probably partially my fault- and I'm yelling at him like I'm his mother. Lauren thought bitterly.
Lauren sighed. "I'm sorry…I guess it's your choice what you do."
He shook his head. "No, you're right. But if I'm right, I probably can't spend any of my money here-"
"No, you can't." Jared interjected.
"-which means I'd leave you with the bill. I'm not going to do that." He ended firmly.
"Its okay, my birthday's coming up soon, and I rarely have anything to spend my money on anyway. If you want, you can pay me back later…actually, consider it well earned. You did save me from that dog earlier." Lauren pointed out.
"I didn't do that for money!" He retorted.
"Yeah, but I'm grateful and I want to pay you back- so, is it Equivalent Exchange?" She grinned.
There was a short pause, before…"Alright," He sighed.
"There's still the fact that he's sick." Jared pointed out.
"I'm feeling much better." He answered, managing to stand up and lean against the bathroom counter.
Lauren gave him an uncertain look. "Are you sure?"
"Positive." The look on his face seemed determined, but Ed looked like he wouldn't be able to stand on his feet if so much as a light breeze came his way.
"Well…alright." She replied, still hesitant. "By the way, where's Monica?"
"Next bathroom," Ed replied, jerking his thumb towards her parents' room. The sound of Monica tossing her cookies would have made them all sweat drop, if that had physically possible for non-animated characters.
Nevertheless, she sighed exasperatedly and headed back towards her room to change, knowing he wouldn't back down. She hadn't even taken off her costume, and while Ed didn't really have much of a choice when it came to what he wore at the moment, she still wanted to get something warmer on. One green sweatshirt and a pair of jeans later, she opened her door. The light in the bathroom was off, and she assumed he'd retreated to his room.
"You finished yet?" She asked, leery of going into Ed's current room while the door was closed.
"Yeap." The door opened, and a fully clothed Edward Elric stood before her.
Lauren snapped her fingers. "Darn it! I almost forgot a few things…" And with that, she headed back into her room to rummage through her closet. Ed had to duck as various articles of clothing and other junk sailed over his head.
"Aha!" Before Ed could even blink, he was blinded by a bright flash. Covering his eyes, he stumbled back and nearly tripped over her bed.
"Watch it!" He snapped, not pleased at being caught off guard.
"Oops, sorry!" She replied hastily. "I…well, nevermind…"
"What the hell was that, anyway?" He growled, rubbing his eyes.
"My Dad's digital camera; I figure since this has probably never happened in the history of everything, I might as well have a few photos to remind myself of it."
"Ask next time."
"I repeat: I'm really, really sorry!" She answered, grabbing her wallet. "Monica, I'm going out with a friend for a few hours!"
"Unguh…" There was the sound of vomiting.
Ed followed Lauren at a more sedate pace, wondering hazily why he had even bothered to get out of bed that morning.
"Wow, wild party?" Chris commented from the front porch, the screen door having been left open sometime while Lauren slept.
"Yeah, I guess. Monica decided to host a friend's Halloween bash, and…I don't think it turned out that well." She replied wryly.
"There's toilet paper in the tree." Chris said bluntly.
"Really? Huh, I thought that prank was an urban myth." She cocked her head and squinted, trying to get a better look at the branches.
"Who's your friend?" Chris asked, gesturing towards Ed.
"Oh…just a guy I met today," She replied hastily. "Monica nearly ran him over."
Chris groaned. "Again?"
"Yes, again..."
"Lauren, no offense, but your sister's crazy."
"So is the rest of my family." She laughed. "Are we just going to stand around and talk, or are we going to go?"
"Sure; my Dad's just around the corner, and he's driving us. We'll have to be back by around ten thirty to elven, but…yeah." He grinned.
And so, they set off down the block to his home; a strange chocolate-loving teenage girl, her friend and a really uncomfortable state alchemist.
---
Besides the fact that he really wished it wasn't so cold, his mind was completely blank as he stared at the towering…store that stood before him. Oh sure, he'd seen bigger buildings, but this one was so incredibly bizarre he couldn't help but do a double take.
Of course, what didn't help was the never-ending bustle of the place- people going in and out, walking by in large crowds, cars were honking and speeding past (there seemed to be a lot more cars in this world then his)…it was utter pandemonium.
Bright, glowing red letters proclaimed 'Pages'. Smooth oak would and huge pillars of…something (plastic?) framed the large glass windows and an elegant, two-paneled glass oak door with brass handles.
To put it bluntly, he'd never seen anything like it. He wasn't sure if after all this, he'd ever want to see anything like it again.
"Ed, hurry up." Lauren whispered, abet unwillingly. She knew this was a lot for him to take in at once, but attracting attention was the last thing she wanted to do.
He blinked, snapping out of it. "Oh…right." He followed her into the store.
The inside of the weird building was even more peculiar. Ed wondered why someone had decided to make a bookstore as big as Central HQ. Because a bookstore was obviously what it was; with hundreds and hundreds of books leaned up neatly (and not so neatly) in separate rows in a manner reminiscent of a library.
"If you think this is an eye-opener, I can't wait to see how you'll react when you see Hall-mart." Lauren remarked.
Ed didn't reply, still trying to get over the amazing sight.
"Okay, I'll be over in the religion section, since she usual spends most of her time there. If you could check the juvenile and teen fiction sections, I'd be grateful." Chris said, walking off to try and find Leigh. "Oh, and if you don't find her, she's probably in Hall-mart. We'll check Sellers to though, if she isn't there either."
And he was gone.
A few hours later, Lauren was pretty sure she was developing a headache. So far, she'd spent most of the outing peering around bookcases, none of which Leigh had been hiding behind. To make things worse, Ed was acting like a kid in a candy shop, constantly stopping to read whatever book happened to catch his eye. She'd had to drag him away from the Science section so many times, she'd lost count.
"I can't believe it; you have access to all these books? This is public?! This is bigger then most libraries combined back home!"
She sighed. "Well, yeah, you could probably order just about book you'd want. But then, I normally just take it out from the library."
"You have a library this big?!"
And on and on it went. While Lauren was happy that Ed wasn't exactly moping around, there was still the fact that she still hadn't fully absorbed the fact that he was the Edward Elric.
Not that she particularly constructed a shrine to him (like Leigh…) or devoted most of her time to writing fanfiction about events similar to the last few hours or so (again, like Leigh…); although she'd liked Edward Elric as a character for quite some time. Lauren was just trying to get over the fact that he was real. That something she'd automatically assumed, and been repeatedly told, was fiction turned out to actually exist; well…it was a shocker.
To be honest, she still wasn't sure how she should treat him- especially when she could easily guess what he was thinking. However stupid it may sound, she still hesitated around him when it came to a lot of things- His name would be an instance. Calling him by his full name sounded formal and stiff, Calling him by his last name sounded almost patronizing and calling him by his nickname seemed…weird.
I think too much, She finally concluded. Watching him as he single-handedly attempted to read at least half of the bookstore's stock, she realized that if he didn't seem bothered by it, then she shouldn't.
He must know that since I've watched Fullmetal Alchemist, I know a lot more then most people do about…well…his life. But why doesn't it bother him?
Come to think of it, there were a lot of mysteries she hadn't considered. Starting with how the heck he managed to end up in her world. Which also lead to the question of when in the series canon he had come from. He was obviously fifteen or sixteen, so probably somewhere between the events in Lior and…well, darn near the rest of the series. At least she could rule the movie out, but she tended to be the sort of person who avoided spoilers (she'd only really knew his age during Conqueror of Shambala), so that was up for debate. Could he do alchemy? Why wasn't Al with him? Was the sickness he felt earlier a bad sign that meant his body wasn't built for her world? Would whatever science behind his automail work for very long in an environment like this? The questions went on and on, with no answer in sight.
Worst of all, there were the questions that couldn't be summed up into one, neat little answer. Such as how long he would have to stay, whether or not he could get back to his world, how she would take care of him on a ten dollar a week allowance (although she'd probably have to force him to let her do so), how she would keep a secret as big as this, how she would help him fit in as best as he could, how she would cover up his automail without being obvious or risky about it…
Well, this certainly wasn't like Leigh's fanfiction. Everything was extremely complicated, and extremely risky. One wrong move, and who knew what could happen.
She sighed again. Not only do I think too much, I'm also a drama queen.
Suddenly, she realized that Ed had stopped and was staring at something with a rather strange expression on his face.
Lauren blinked. "What's the matter?" She moved loser to get a better look.
It was a copy of the first manga volume. The drawn picture of a determined Ed on the cover was a stark contrast to the pale, shocked real one only a foot or so away.
Abruptly, Lauren grabbed it and shoved it on the shelf; the strange trance he had been in immediately broke.
"Hey! I was-"
"Don't read it Ed. I'm no expert, but there might be something you shouldn't know yet…" She said firmly, steering him as far away from the Graphic novel section as she could.
"Yeah, you're right." He sighed. "But…could you stop pushing me?"
She immediately stopped. "Sorry."
"Lauren?" Leigh came into view, still wearing her costume from before.
"There goes our excuse for this shopping trip." Lauren said exasperatedly. "I thought for sure you'd be in Hall-mart…"
Leigh laughed. "Are you kidding me? It's packed. I'm surprised to see you here…why did you take off your costume? It's still technically Halloween, you know. I see your friend from before has the right idea."
Lauren rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Well-"
"Sorry, but I never caught your name." Leigh interrupted, addressing Ed.
He laughed nervously. "Yeah, I-"
There was a scream from the front part of the store, which froze them all in their tracks.
---
This 'shopping trip' will be the last real foray into Lauren's social life, as far as I know. Ending for this was rushed, I know, but I didn't have much time. From here on in, things will focus on the FMA part of the story- and a few of everyone's favourite characters should pop up :) And always, read, review, and offer up some comments or suggestion!
