AN: If this makes it any easier, think of the first part of this chapter the day they lost Sophia. Hope you like it (ps: sorry the last part is so short.)
Chapter 4: Faceless Faces
The rest of the day was spent tending to my stitches and crops Hershel had growing out front. Having refused kitchen duty, claiming I could handle myself out in the fields, I was put on picking duty with Otis and Jimmy where we were in charge of harvesting any fruits or veggies, and discarding of the rotten ones. It amazed me how the majority of the crops weren't rotten, and how the soil, despite the apocalypse, managed to thrive.
Once every few hours Patricia would disappear from her designated work area to the shed and around to the back of a rather abandoned looking barn to deposit her wheel barrow and return looking rather flustered.
I was curious as to what was so interesting in there, but I knew better than to ask on my first day. It was only a matter of time before I would have to leave in any case and just a little bit of extra knowledge wouldn't make a difference.
The sweltering Georgia heat had taken a toll on everyone, but mostly poor Otis. Man, was he sweating buckets. His t-shirt clung to his back and puddles the size of dinner plates pooled around his armpits, I swore I saw them get just as big as they were twenty minutes ago. Even at quarter past six in the evening, the sun was in no mood to give up, and just before it did it burnt off it's last bit of energy it had for the day which only made us weaker.
"Tomorrow, I'm goin' out and finding ourselves a big, juicy hunk of meat for supper. It's been so long since we had a big feast." Otis had quite the imagination, using his hands to elaborate the details of the supper he had in mind and plopping a few baby peas into his mouth.
"Otis," Jimmy laughed "We had beef stew four nights ago. That ain't that long."
"Four nights too long, boy." the teen and I burst into a fit of laughter at his passion. Never would I think I'd be crouched around a few strangers discussing how big our last meal was. Besides breakfast this morning, I don't remember the last time I had a full, proper meal. Just thinking about it made my stomach growl.
Otis took that as an indication to finish up and head in. "C'mon, you two. Let's go see what needs finishin' up in the kitchen."
Without hesitation, I stood up and instantly steadied myself against Jimmy. He made a joke about how I needed to take it easy, and how I had only just got into the gist of things today, but I didn't listen and headed into the house. They followed behind me as we gathered our buckets, baskets and wheelbarrow and deposited them inside one of the boarded up water wells.
Maggie, Patricia and Beth were all inside, just setting the table as Otis, Jimmy, myself and Hershel walked in.
"Dad, we're almost out of band-aids," Maggie announced, showing off a slim cut on her ring finger. "I was thinking of doing a run tomorrow. Only for the necessities."
"Alright, honey." Hershel turned to Otis and nodded, patting him on the back. "I'll have Otis drive yo-"
"Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but Otis here is goin' to fetch us a buck for dinner tomorrow afternoon. Ain't that right, Ot?" The teenager sat on the hinds of the chair's legs, rocking back and forth as he explained Otis' plan. At that moment, Patricia cleared her throat rather loudly, causing Jimmy to sit properly and face the table.
"Uh, yeah, but if you need me to keep Mags company I don't mind."
"It's not my place to keep you from providing such a meal, so by all means, tomorrow afternoon is all yours."
For a split second I thought of Maggie out on her own and being cornered by a group of Walkers. I wasn't sure of how skilled she was in defending herself, but the other night proved her abilities after she took out the woman on top of me. Incase anything bad happened, I wanted to be there to protect her. A little back up wouldn't hurt anyone, plus I really needed a change of scenery.
"I can go," I offered, "I'm a good shot, and I can bring up the rear for her."
"You're still on house rest, Robyn. After being in a twenty-four hour coma and out in the sun all day, it's best if you stay behind." The old man's expression was soft, reaching across the table to pat my hand. "For the time being, you're one of us, so I feel partially responsible for anything that happens to you just as much as I would for Maggie and Beth."
So, in short, that was a no. I understood where he was coming from and smiled a smile of defeat. "If that's what you think is best."
This meal wasn't as nearly quiet as the last. We all spoke of our jobs, what we found and all the small disasters. For example, Jimmy piped up about Otis' pants being too small for him and riding a little low every time he bent down to pick up his bucket.
Mouth half full of mashed potatoes, Otis shook his head and denied that statement. He swallowed the food and shook his fork in denial. "I've had these pants for a year! They still fit... kinda." He placed his fork on his plate and checked the button of his corduroys, gaining a chuckle from the rest of us.
At the end of supper, we all thanked the girls and cleared up the plates. I stuck back after speaking to Otis to ask Hershel a question because I sure as hell couldn't stay around here and do nothing.
"Hey, Hershel, I was wondering if I could ask you something. Tomorrow, could I join Otis on the hunt? It won't be strenuous on me at all and I've already spoken to him about it." When I got nervous, I'd rub my ring on my index finger with my thumb, much like I'm doing now.
Hershel seemed to catch on because he held my hands in both of his and nodded, offering a slightly crooked smile. "Of course, as long as you come back when you need to. And please, try to keep the running to a minimum. You lost a lot of blood and we don't need you passing out again. If you do, I'll have no choice but to make you stay in bed."
"Thank you, Hershel. I swear I'll bring Otis and the buck back in one piece."
Later that night, I joined Maggie out on the porch and sat on the railing over looking the field. I couldn't help but relive my dream for just a millisecond. It wasn't until Maggie nearly pushed me off the railing did I realize she was calling my name.
"Oh, gosh, sorry. What's up?" I asked, eyebrows raised and arms crossed.
"You alright? You seem kinda out of it," she said, bringing her knees to her chest.
I nodded in reassurance and positioned myself so my back was against the pillar and one leg folded on the side of the railing. "I'm just... nothing. Hershel gave me some painkillers for the headache and it seems to have pushed the pain everywhere else. On top of that, I feel kind of dizzy every time I get excited."
Maggie chuckled and furrowed her brows. "What's so exciting about the farm? Let alone the apocalypse, weirdo."
"I'm just saying," I said, turning my head to inspect the tree line from my dreams. "I don't get excited easily, and the little things set me off. Like, I had a dream and-"
"Take these," Within a split second, Maggie produced a small container from her back pockets and handed it to me. "Sedatives. Help you sleep easy."
"Will they knock me out?"
"All I can say is take them a few minutes before you hit the sack. But only one. Don't want you going into a sleep induced coma." The latter comment made me chuckle, lightning the mood of what gloom my dream would've brought if I told her. I threw the container between my hands, listening to the pills hit the sides each time and thanked her.
"Do you think there are others out there?" I asked, genuinely concerned. "I mean, I know there are others some way away, but are there others for me?"
Maggie and I had developed a short and sweet friendship, and it felt like now was the only time to really open up to her. I had decided earlier that I would only be here another few short days before I left, so my boundaries and emotional walls were irrelevant towards them.
"Honestly? Yes. There's a lil' group for everyone. Me, my dad, my sister, Jimmy, Otis and Patricia, we have one and it's stable at that." She stood up and wandered over to the railing and sat down opposite me, gazing out over the field as well. "If my father trusted everyone he stitched up, I'd suggest you stay with us."
"But I'm just one extra mouth to feed and one extra person to take care of. I get it, it's fine."
There was a moment of silence, one long enough you could reflect on the past few hours, before Maggie sighed.
"I'm sure you'll come across people you know. If not now, maybe some time down the line."
She was right. I could only think of a handful of people I wanted back. Melanie. My parents. Tyler. Kristen. Gerry. Phoenix. The boys... It was only a matter of time before I, too, met my destiny. But until then, I was determined to continue on until I had achieved enough in this new era. One to hopefully reincarnate me into a doctor to cure this damn epidemic.
I refused to tear up as I imagined a reunion with each loved one I had lost. Instead, I bid Maggie a good night and headed up to bed, waving to each house member as I walked by.
Once in my room, I stripped down and into my PJs consisting of a King County's PeeWee baseball shirt, the team my brother used to coach, and a pair of flannel pants. The pill lay in my hand, rolling between my fingers with ease. I bent down into my bag and pulled out my water bottle, only briefly scraping my hand over my pistol. I chucked the pill to the back of my throat and downed it with water; easy.
To busy myself before sleep, I rummaged through my sack once more, pulling out a copy of Great Expectations and turning to a random page. I could never understand what Dickens was talking about, and it was a great way to get my mind off of the faceless faces and other people I would never see again. I was desperate to know who it was. Who they were. I could make out four people but the rest were all blurry. It was even possible I knew these people or had seen them around. Before long, I could feel the sedative kicking in so I closed my eyes, book resting on my chest, and fell asleep.
My dream had seemed to engulf me in a never ending sleep. The faceless group returned, only this time all coming closer to me. The man with the gun identical to mine was in front, stalking towards me at full speed, knocking into my side and bringing me flat up against the side of a wall. He brought the barrel of his gun flush in front of my face and dug it into my cheek as hard as he could, threatening to shoot. From the corner of my eye I saw his finger flex against the trigger but before he could do anything, I opened my eyes and found myself back in my room.
The light was dim and the sun cast ginormous shadows along the furniture and across the walls. Was it sunrise already? Before I could check my watch, I flinched at the sound of a large thud and a glass crashing against a hard surface. Hushed voices came from downstairs followed by a few sniffles and an angry sounding woman.
"Shit," I muttered, nudging the now crumpled book into my bag and grabbing any clean clothes I could find. I pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail, jogged down the hallway and practically flung myself down the stairs eagerly. It was my one chance to get up and around and I'd be damned if I missed it. "Hey, Hershel?"
The murmuring had stopped as I made my way around the house looking for the host. Before I could call his name, he announced "In the dining room. We have guests so keep it down just a little bit."
Guests? Who would be here this early in the morning? It was until I checked my watch that it was not, in fact, morning, but rather very late afternoon. Those sedatives really worked their magic. They worked so well that I hadn't heard the alarm I set for myself early yesterday morning. Otis must've already gone and come back with the buck and I've missed my chance.
As depleted as I looked and felt, wanting to return to my room, I rounded into the hallway and began switching the alarm clock on my watch. "What guests?" I asked, finally figuring out the buttons and switches.
I looked up from the screen to see two familiar faces and felt my eyes welling with tears. And suddenly I've filled out the faceless faces from my dreams.
