Chapter 4
"Erik?" I asked, entering the room he had left to. I had
contemplated going after him for at least fifteen minutes before
finally deciding to.
I walked through the passage into the dimly
lit room. I found him sitting on a large bed, staring into a mirror.
He had tears streaming down his face but did not seem to be crying.
He did not move nor make and sounds, only the tears came
falling.
"Erik?" I said again.
"It's as if you've all come to haunt me, eternally haunt me till death."
"I'm sorry."
"Well of course you are. You're sorry for upsetting the monster in the deep dark cave. You're only saying that you're sorry so I'll bring you back up in light out of this darkness that I've lived in my whole life."
"It's not my fault Erik; I never did anything to you."
"That wretched cousin of yours was the monster…" he said. I gasped. "Not on the outside of course, he was pleasing with every physical feature he had, but not on the inside where his soul rotted and his black heart beat. I was foolish to ever expect her to stay with me, to believe she would ever care for me or look upon me in love."
"Raoul loved her too…"
"Raoul loved her beauty, he loved her voice! He loved the fact that those to features of her alone would please the people around him even more then it had already!"
"Why are you acting as if the world had come crashing down at your feet?"
"Because it has! Christine didn't love me; my own mother was revolted by me! I've been stuck down here in hell for years but it seems like an eternity."
I stared at him with sad eyes.
"You-you still love her… don't you?"
He sighed and shook his head.
"No, but just thinking about how stupid I was sickens me. Just thinking about how I worshiped her only to have her spit in my face makes me want to end my wretched life right now."
"No Erik, please no."
"Why should you get an opinion? You've known me for a mere two days, and you're already acting as if you need to be my rescuer. Have you ever tried to rescue a monster Amelia? We're incredibly hard to stand."
"You're not a monster."
"How would you know?"
"Because monsters can't write beautiful music, they can't love a woman with all of their heart," I paused for a moment and took in a breath. "And they can't win me over as easily as you have…"
He stared at me in confusion. I walked over to the bed where he was sitting and I sat beside him. I looked deep into his eyes, which were a beautiful dark green color. They weren't fierce or threatening like you would expect, but they were soft and filled with passion.
"I've never trusted anyone with my heart, no man has ever loved me and I have never loved a man. But if there is one thing I've learned, it's not to judge someone by their physical appearance, but by the size of their heart."
"You don't know what you're talking about," he said, standing up. "You've never even seen me…"
I'm not sure what happened at that moment, not sure what went through my mind, but I stood and ripped his mask off of his face. He cried out in alarm and covered his face with his hand.
"What are you doing?" he asked me in alarm.
He sunk to the bed and sat on it with his head in his hands. I sat beside him.
"Please don't Erik…" I said.
I held his face in my hands and pushed aside one to reveal what he
had to hide.
The entire right side of his face was practically
gone. Deep red scars ran down his cheek and forehead, his nose was
misshapen and his eye seemed to be pulled down further then his other
one.
I moved my hand across his scars and kissed his forehead,
then without thinking pressed my lips to his. I kissed him long and
deep, never wanting to let go of him. When I pulled back to look in
his eyes he had tears in them. He looked at me as if I had taken away
his deformity rather than just looked past it. I kissed him again and
felt myself begin to tear up as well. He kissed me back this time,
his hands touching my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and
hugged him closer to me. I kissed his forehead and then trailed
kisses all along the scarred side of his face. I looked back at him;
he still had tears in his eyes. He shut them and opened them again,
leaving tears scattered across his long eyelashes.
I pulled open
his shirt and pulled it down his shoulders and all of the way off. He
had naturally tan skin and broad shoulders. He was muscular and
strong, absolutely perfect. I ran my hands down his chest to his
abdomen and leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. He pulled my shirt
up and over my head and dropped it beside his. I covered myself with
my arms, feeling self conscious. He put his hands on my shoulders and
kissed me.
"You're so beautiful." He whispered in my ear as he took me in his arms. I lightly smiled to myself and slowly dropped my arms. I wrapped them around this neck and held him close to me.
"So are you." I told him, he looked at me and I
smiled at him lightly.
As we removed the rest of each other's
clothing, I felt my heart beating inside of me. I could hear it
beating so loudly it seemed like it was inside my head. I lay back on
the bed and pulled him on top of me. He looked down into my
eyes.
"I-I've never…" I put a finger to his lips.
"Neither have I Erik." I said, putting my hand on
his cheek. He kissed the inside of my hand and then leaned in to kiss
my lips. I took in a deep breath and let him inside of me. We both
gasped and held each other tighter. After a moment, once we were used
to the situation, he began to move inside of me in a steady rhythm. I
wrapped my legs around his waist and hugged him tight. I released a
moan as he placed a kiss in the middle of my chest. He looked into my
eyes and continued to push himself further inside of me.
It all
seemed to come naturally to us. We had no idea what we were doing and
yet we knew exactly what to do. It made no sense to me, this was the
man who tried to kill my cousin and best friend, steal his wife, and
burned down almost half of the opera house and yet I wanted nothing
more then to stay there with him forever, in his arms.
Afterwards,
I lay in his arms beneath the thick sheets of the bed. I fell asleep,
feeling the most comfortable I had ever felt. He held me tight as I
slept, my head rested against his chest. When I woke up later, I was
alone. I sat up, pulling the sheets up to cover my chest.
"Erik?"
I asked. I stood up and walked out of the room, taking the sheets
with me.
I found him sitting at his bench, wearing his pants and
a white shirt only. His hair was long and hung naturally over his
face a bit. I smiled to myself and then went back into the room. I
sat down on the bed and sighed.
Erik turned around the corner into
the room. I lightly smiled at him. He walked over to me and sat next
to me on the bed. He looked at me with eyes filled with such love and
yet such sadness.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"I…I'm just waiting for the moment that I wake up and find out that this is all a dream. I'm dreading the moment I find out that I never actually held you in my arms."
"It's not a dream Erik," I said, touching his cheek. "I'm here."
I leaned in and kissed him, deeply and passionately. I didn't care about his face; he was too beautiful in every other way for it to have any affect on me. We fell back onto the bed and he slowly pulled the sheets off of me. He trailed soft kisses all the way down my neck, torso, and then back up. He looked into my eyes and held my gaze.
"I……. I love you." He said.
"I love you too," I said, smiling. He kissed me on the forehead.
"But this won't work…"
I looked at him in shock and sat up. He looked down at his lap and let the tears roll off of his cheeks.
"Don't
cry…" I said, and then felt my own eyes well up. I felt hot tears
stream down my face. He was right, it would never work out. With
everything that had happened in his past, with Raoul, none of it
would work.
But I already knew that I couldn't live without
this man. It wasn't love at first site, he wasn't my soul mate;
it was just love. I knew it was and I wasn't going to let it slip
away.
He looked at me and saw me sobbing. He put a hand to my face
and turned my head toward him. I looked deep into his eyes and saw
that he had stopped crying. He looked worried though, scared
almost.
"No, you don't cry. You're so strong Amelia, so much stronger than me. Please don't cry… don't let me sadden you like this."
I looked at him as if he must be joking. Was he telling me to give him up? I couldn't ever! Never could I give up someone like Erik, there was no one else like him in the world. I had never been any further away from my home then I was then but I still knew I would never find anyone that I loved as much as Erik.
"I'll make it work." I said to him.
"Amelia…"
"No Erik, I will! I can, I swear! I won't leave you Erik, never!" I began to cry again. I cradled my head in my hands and felt him take me in his arms. He held me tight and I snuggled into his chest. "Please don't make me give you up Erik, I'll die if you do, I swear I will."
"Shhhhhh…" he ran his hand up and down my back slowly. The feeling of him holding me was enough to make my crying come to a slow stop.
"Erik…"
"Yes?"
"Don't let go of me."
"Never."
I kissed him and he kissed me back.
"Love me." I said, under my breath. I was desperate for him, his touch, everything about him.
He picked me up and
carried me off of the floor to the bed. He took off his shirt and
pants and lay on top of me. It was the most beautiful thing I had
ever seen, his face gently encircled by the soft candle light.
He
held my hands in his, on each side of my head. His fingers laced with
mine. If possible, it was even more amazing than the first time. He
went slowly at first, letting me get used to it, then sped up. By the
time he stopped, both our bodies glistened with a thin sheen of
sweat, the two of us gasping for breath.
He took my hand and
lifted me up, as he rolled into a sitting position, taking me with
him. I sat on his lap facing him, one leg on each side of his body. I
took his face in my hands and kissed him, even though we were both
still trying to catch our breath. I touched my forehead to his and we
both closed our eyes. We stayed like that, holding each other in one
another's arms, for longer then I can remember.
