Truth Is The Hardest Pill To Swallow


A/N- Yo! Waz up peeps?

Been a while since I last updated this and I thought I'd do it while I had a chance.

Disclaimer- InuYasha is Takahashi-sans, brain child, not mine. But the storyline sure the hell is...

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapt!

'Thoughts'


Part 4: A Change Of Pace

Kagome's Pov-

Surprises come in all shapes and sizes and you never know when they'll strike…but at that time…

Heh, believe me, it was really surprising to see that of all people, it was Akitoki Houjo who came out from behind that bush.

But as they say, life's greatest surprises are the one's that are right under your nose, or happen when you least expect it.

It was an interesting way to meet again. At the time, Shippou and my little brother were the only ones that I had ever sung to. I don't know why they loved to have me sing…but I think that finally, now I understand.

I had always felt that I had a horrid singing voice, almost the equivalent of a cat having its tail slammed in a door. Actually, nail's scratching a chalkboard is closer to the truth.

But I soon found that I was wrong and that it was myself that I was most afraid of, not my singing voice.

I was such a child back then…

Flashback-

Normal Pov-

Feeling her face burn with a deep blush at being caught frolicking with her soul stealers and singing of all things, Kagome averted her eyes to the ground at her feet, her toes digging into the dirt.

"Heh, eto…I was just passing through and I heard something. So…I, I followed it. You have a beautiful voice Kagome, but you're an even better dancer."

Her head jerking up at that, Kagome locked her wide eyes on the blushing young man before her, 'did…did he just say that I was beautiful…oh god, strike me down now before I make an even bigger fool out of myself.'

"Would you…eto…be willing to sing for me again, please?" Houjo's eyes were soft as he flashed Kagome a soft smile, he didn't want to force her into it, but now that he had heard her voice, he would do anything to hear it again.

Her heart beat increasing at Houjo's words, Kagome felt a wave of joy and surprise wash over her, 'he...he really wants to hear me sing? Does he really like my voice that much?'

"Really, you want me to sing to you?"

As Houjo just smiled and nodded his head, Kagome found that she couldn't stop the giggle that was rising in her throat. Hearing Kagome's soft laughter, Houjo felt another blush stain his cheeks as a wave of contentedness washed over him.

Shaking her head, Kagome tilted her head, "alright, come."

Holding out her hand, Kagome smiled gently when Houjo took it slowly his face turning deep red, her hand closed about his and he couldn't help but marvel at how small her hand was when compared to his own.

Pulling Houjo along, Kagome lead him to the pond that she had danced near, reaching a fallen tree log, Kagome released his hand and watched as he sat down.

Turning her back on him, Kagome took a deep breath before she turned to face Houjo, 'alright Kagome, there's no backing down now, you got yourself into this…time to show some of that back bone.'

"The song I'm going to sing is called 'Gomenasai,' it's one of my favorites…and eto…I really couldn't think of anything else, so…I hope you don't mind this one." Seeing Houjo nod his head, Kagome let her eyes close as she listened to the music in her head.

'Here we go…'

"What I thought wasn't mine, in the light, wasn't one of a kind, a precious pearl. When I wanted to cry, I couldn't cause I, wasn't allowed." Turning, Kagome kept her eyes closed as she walked towards the pond before them.

"Gomenasai, for everything. Gomenasai, I know I let you down. Gomenasai till the end, I never needed a friend, like I do now." Kagome kicked some stray dirt into the water before she placed a hand over her face, "What I thought wasn't known, so innocent, was a delicate doll, of porcelain."

Feeling the wind blowing past and whipping at her hair, Kagome heard an intake of breath behind her and could feel a blush start to burn her cheeks, she couldn't believe that she was actually doing this.

"Gomenasai, for everything. Gomenasai, I know I let you down. Gomenasai, I never needed a friend, like I do now." As she paused, Kagome slid her hand from her face and held it out as she let her body twirl once in a slow circle.

"What I thought was a dream, and a rush, was as real as it seemed, a privilege. When I wanted to tell you, I made a mistake, I walked away. Gomenasai, for everything. I never needed a friend, like I do now."

Coming to a stop, Kagome faced Houjo and saw the awe sparkling in his eyes, feeling a lump rise in her throat, Kagome struggled to finish the song.

"Gomenasai, I let you down. Gomenasai till the end, I never needed a friend." A small smile had made its way onto Kagome lips as she reached the end of the song, "Like I do now."

Sighing, Kagome sat down a few feet from Houjo and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. 'He probably hates me now…I just know it…god! Why did I have to agree to sing for him?'

"That was wonderful Kagome…sad but beautiful none the less. Arigato for singing for me, I…I hope that you will do so again sometime…" Kagome looked up and turned towards Houjo to find that he was blushing heavily as he looked down at his clasped hands. It was clear that he was nervous and Kagome couldn't stop the smile that crossed her face at that.

"I'm glad…I…I don't really sing much in front of others, I don't think I'm really good at it…" blushing heavily, Kagome started to turn away when a soft touch on her shoulder stopped her.

Houjo was currently giving her a serious look as he tightened his grip upon her shoulder, his fingers digging into the fabric of her haori, "don't Kagome, you shouldn't say such things about yourself. I find your voice wonderful and I would listen to you sing forever if I could. That is why I am so grateful that you sang for me…"

Feeling as if he had said too much, Houjo slowly released Kagome's shoulder and started to pull his hand away when Kagome placed her hand over his, her eyes were soft and filled with unshed tears as she gazed back at him. It was enough to have his heart clenching painfully in his chest as he thought of a way to bring a smile back to her face.

"Eto, I'm sorry if what I said upset you, I'm not trying to make you feel bad so please don't cry Kagome." Flashing Kagome the most comforting smile that he could, Houjo gripped her shoulder and gave it a little squeeze, hoping that it was enough.

Kagome's body trembled as she felt more tears gather in her eyes, she was trying her best to keep herself calm, but after hearing Houjo's words and seeing that he thought he had hurt her feelings somehow Kagome felt her heart twist in her chest.

Seeing that more tears seemed to appear, Houjo felt desperate and did the only other thing he could think of to cheer her up. Taking a deep breath and feeling his face start to burn with that all too familiar blush, Houjo slid an arm about Kagome's waist and pulled her closer to his side.

Kagome stiffened as she felt Houjo's arm curl about her form and when she felt the side of his hard chest against her own, Kagome nearly screamed and pulled away, but for some reason both her voice and her body seemed to be out of her reach at the moment.

When Kagome didn't pull away or tell him to stop, Houjo felt relief and something else flood through him. He let that relief fill him up while he squashed down that other feeling, deeming it not appropriate at the moment.

"I don't know what else to do to cheer you up Kagome, so please…forgive me." With that said, Houjo moved his other hand from Kagome's shoulder and let it join its brother as he brought Kagome's form fully against his own in a gentle embrace.

Not knowing how else to react at such gentleness, Kagome let her arms wrap about Houjo's form as well, locking him in the embrace. About them her soul stealers gathered and their strange light filled the clearing, Kagome felt her heart flutter as her body began to shake.

Houjo felt her body shaking and he pulled back to look at her, only to see the soul collectors about him. Freezing in place, Houjo gave Kagome a worried look, "Kagome…don't move. There are specters surrounding us…"

Hearing his words, Kagome looked up at him and saw that he was frightened, "they aren't specters Houjo, they are soul stealers…" seeing his face pale at her words, Kagome looked away as she reached out a hand and touched the nearest one, "my soul stealers…"

Gulping uncertainly, Houjo lifted a shaking hand and stretched it towards one of the floating beings. Seeing this action Kagome nodded her head and the soul stealer moved forwards, letting Houjo's hand come into contact with it.

Immediately Houjo's face brightened and a look of wonder filled his eyes, "it…it's warm…"

Kagome smiled at his words as she called the other's closer, letting them brush against Houjo pulling a soft laugh from him, "they are a part of me but I do not have them take souls, in that way they are pure, the reason why they are warm is because they are living just as I am and in a sense they carry my feelings and thoughts with them."

Sparing a glance at Kagome's face, Houjo nearly froze at the way Kagome looked. Her hair was drifting softly in the wind even as it was being bathed by the silvery light that seemed to pulsate from the soul stealers that surrounded her, her face was set in a content and carefree look, making her entire form radiate with an inner light of it's very own.

'She looks like an...' "...angel..."

"Huh?" Shifting her head to look at Houjo in confusion, Kagome saw Houjo's eyes flash with something before it disappeared beneath layers of embarrassment and naivety. Shaking off the breathless feeling that little flash had given her, Kagome just continued to smile at him before looking up into the sky, only to see that it had grown a lot later and Kagome knew that she needed to be heading back.

The very thought of leaving made Kagome's heart sink but she knew that it was necessary, lest her friends come looking for her and see something that they weren't ready for just quite yet, 'as much as I don't want to...I really need to leave.'

"Houjo, it was nice talking to you...but, I need to head back to camp now..." an idea suddenly stuck Kagome as she spoke and she couldn't stop a large smile from stretching her lips, "do you want to come with me?"

Houjo blinked in surprise at Kagome's question before letting a soft smile cross his lips, rubbing his shoulder in slight uncomfort he nodded his head, "I would love too...I really don't have anyone that I know nearby and I would like to talk with you some more...and uh..." feeling a blush creep up his cheeks, Houjo looked away from Kagome.

Puzzled by his actions, Kagome touched his shoulder and bent closer to him, "what...what is it?" Gulping, Houjo turned to face Kagome again and tried to stay strong, "I would like to hear you sing again...and uh...if it's alright with your companions, I would like to join your group and help you all in any way that I can."

Her heart beat started to pick up as she contemplated Houjo's request, after a few moments Kagome gave a firm nod of her head, "thank you...I would love to have you join us. But I just wanted to ask, what about your family...won't they be worried about you?"

Jerking, Houjo let his eyes close as he looked at his feet, "no...they couldn't care less about me...I...I am weak..." feeling tears prickling at his eyes, Houjo gripped his legs as hard as he could, trying his hardest to keep his tears at bay.

As if sensing Houjo's sadness, Kagome gripped his wrist and pulled him as close to her as she could, "your not weak Houjo. You just have a different strength, you do not like to fight physically and you prefer to solve things in the most peaceful way you can think of, that is nothing to be ashamed of..."

Suddenly feeling very exposed, Kagome felt her face flush in embarrassment as she released her hold upon Houjo and slowly got to her feet, rubbing her legs Kagome turned away from Houjo and walked a few feet away from him. A gust of wind blew past and lifted several locks of her hair, the breeze was cool and Kagome wondered if it was stinging her heated cheeks. Now that she was changed, her heart was the only part of her that could feel, it was like the rest of her had gone completely numb.

Houjo had watched mutely as Kagome moved away and he tried his best to not smile, but Kagome's words kept repeating in his befuddled mind and Houjo soon found himself unable to just sit there. Getting to his feet, Houjo took a deep breath to steel himself before he approached Kagome, as if sensing his approach she had turned to face him but her head was tilted to where he could not see her expression through her black bangs.

"Kagome?" Bending slightly to where he could peak underneath her bangs, Houjo was surprised when Kagome shoved him away lightly, an amused smile crossing her lips. "Let's go Houjo."

With that said, Kagome didn't even wait for a reply as she turned and started back towards where she knew the camp was located. Houjo stood stock still for a moment as he watched Kagome's back before straightening his shoulders and starting out after her, this was something he wanted to fight for and woe to anyone who said otherwise.


A/N- And there it is...anyway, I have no idea when I'm going to finish this story, but I guess we'll see sometime. But as a last note, the next chapt is in progress and will be up whenever I finish it...

So until then,

Ja Ne!