Chapter 4: Step 1 – Infiltration

Link stepped up to his dingy apartment door and turned the lock but once inside locked it right back up again. In a neighborhood of drug labs and under the table dealings it was not only the best but also the safest thing to do. At least the neighbors above him weren't arguing anymore…that could have something to do with the brand new red stain on his ceiling though.

Link sighed and took off his shoes in the bare narrow hallway, dimly lit to keep down electricity bills but still surprisingly clean. It should be, considering all the time Zelda fretted over the conditions of their tiny apartment. He walked past the tiny kitchen to the small bedroom where he could hear the mutterings of what sounded like two people using the same set of vocal cords.

"But I'm telling you dear that Vladimir shouldn't be with Elisa and that he should be with Georgiana. It just makes sense for him to be happy."

"No way! Georgiana's a bitch with a capital B and Elisa has had a crush on him since they were twelve. He should get together with Elisa already and quit complaining. Not everyone has such an easy time getting a girlfriend you know."

Sigh. "I know very well of what you speak."

Link tapped the bedroom door frame with a single knuckle softly, gaining the attentions of the 1.5 people in the room. There, sitting at the vanity shoved in the corner next to the second small bed was a fair skinned girl with golden blonde locks drifting down her back and the big deep blue eyes of somebody that has seen far too much but is only innocent because they cannot understand it. Her clothes were a mixed mess, as was the way her golden hair was tied up. She was dressed in a simple cotton pink and yellow dress and dark blue worn fisherman's pants tied up with a piece of old rope. Her hair was only half up in the back, like only half of her desired it to be up and the other half wanted it to swing gently by her face.

The girl's face, Zelda's face, brightened up immediately when she saw Link's person. "Oh Link! It's so good to see you again! Tetra and I were just discussing whether Vladimir should marry Elisa or Georgiana and it's quite the pickle at the moment." Zelda's sweet and innocent face switched drastically over to a commanding and powerful face like a light had been switched inside her brain.

"And Zelda thinks that Vlad should end up with Georgiana while I say that he should end up with Elisa," Tetra stated, swiping away a particularly annoying lock of hair from her face, "Anyone with any sensibility could see them ending up together from the very start of the story."

Link nodded like he knew something important about relationships when he only knew one thing – never get started in one. Zelda/Tetra wanted to have a relationship of their own with somebody else, but thanks to their constantly conflicting opinions they could never totally agree, and when you shared the same body agreement was the most important thing that they could do.

Zelda sighed and tapped the pen in her hand against the vanity table restlessly. A notebook in front of her was open and the pages were scribbled in with both small neat handwriting and the scrawl of somebody with no manners. "We just cannot decide who Vladimir should end up with," Zelda said mournfully, tapping the pen cap gently on her fingers, "Maybe Elisa or Georgiana, but who?"

Tetra snorted cynically and began tapping the pen against her knee, "Knowing us it's going to be another week before we can get these things decided. Alfonso is good about giving us extra time, but there's only so long that he can wait…"

Link nodded as he understood their editor's predicament. Not only did he have to edit Zelda and Tetra's work but he also had to fend off hungry fans from meeting the authors of their favorite series In Time the Hero Comes. Sure their books sold like hotcakes, but their therapy and paying their share of the tiny apartment and basic living expenses kept them down almost as much as Link.

"Zelda, Tetra," Link said, gaining their attention almost immediately, "I may have found a way to beat Gannondorf."

Zelda squealed in happiness, "That's fantastic Link! How?"

"Now hold on a minute," Tetra tried to reign in Zelda's happiness with her level headedness, "When did you find this out? And what's the catch?"

Link explained everything to the one and a half of them, Zelda breaking through Tetra's hardedge with her sophisticated smile multiple times. "That's it," Link finished, already sprawled on his own tiny bed with a wonderfully green knitted windsock cap on his head for sleep, "Now we just wait for Shadow."

"Oh how wonderful this is Link!" Zelda announced, overjoyed for her friend, "Not only will we finally be rid of Gannondorf but you have a brother too! Maybe once this is all over we can go and visit the forest again, that lovely little village on the outskirts of Hyrule, oh what was it called?"

"Kokiri Village," Tetra said, grinning with her lopsided smile for her friend, "but personally I think that we should go to the sea again afterwards. I always loved sailing on those big rental boats."

Link nodded and smiled gently as the 1.5 girls discussed the plans that they would all do after they were ridded of Gannondorf. He didn't think that it would be that easy but he could dream and hope for the best. Now all they had to do was – KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Who was that?

"Hey Link! Liiiiiiinnnnnkkkk! Open up it's me!" Link saw Zelda and Tetra give a start in surprise but that didn't stop Link from rushing to the door and swinging it open to reveal Shadow in his black and gray clothes looking agitated and another person standing just behind him. Though he didn't question how the Shadow had found him, he did question how in the world the person next to him even managed to exist outside of a hard-core porno.

She was no doubt very tall and slender and beautiful, like a lovely French model but Link had a feeling that she wasn't from France. Like Shadow her skin was silver sheened and the color of moonlight on the sidewalk but her hair was long and luxuriously orange with the brightest orange colored eyes that he had ever seen. Dressed in a black corset to show off her skin, black jeans and flat black boots, she almost looked like somebody that could have worked with Link in Gerudo Fantasies. On her shoulders was a black backpack and on Shadow's back another black backpack almost twice the size of the woman's. He didn't look happy but the woman was grinning down at him as she saw his face.

"You were right Shadow," she said as she brushed past Link into the small kitchen area with the small table and plopped her well-shaped butt into an old and rickety chair, "He really does look like the sun's child of you. Nice to meet you by the way Link, I'm Midna. I'll be the tech support so you can count on my directions. It was originally going to be Navi but I just couldn't pass up the chance to meet you." Midna continued on unloading her backpack with laptops, small gizmos, and an assortment of gadgets.

Shadow rolled his eyes at Midna and barged his way into the kitchen to set the backpack at Midna's booted feet. "There. You happy, O' Queen of Laziness?"

Midna raised an annoyed perfectly arched eyebrow at Shadow, "It's only laziness when you need to do it. Since I didn't, I made you do it. There's a difference."

As Shadow and Midna squabbled with each other in the tiny kitchen, Link left them to go into the bedroom with the two beds where Zelda/Tetra still sat, waiting to see if it was alright for them to come out. Link nodded at the worry on Zelda and Tetra's face, to which Zelda smiled nervously at as they moved toward the kitchen. Shadow looked up at Zelda/Tetra's arrival with poorly hidden shock on his face. "Who's that?" he blurted out without preamble.

"This is Zelda and Tetra," Link said, "They live with me."

Shadow was looking at him like he had lost his marbles but Midna simply stared at the 1.5 girls, with what he couldn't say for sure but it looked like something between surprise and interest. "I'm Midna," she explained, clicking a few buttons on the laptop in front of her, "Nice to meet you. She your girlfriend or something?"

Shadow seemed interested in the answer as well, but Tetra just scoffed at the question with, "Not for all the money in the world and not if he was the last person alive." Zelda seemed to disapprove of her sister's answer and simply stated softly, "No we are not romantically together. We are simple roommates who all wish to be free of Gannondorf's reign of terror."

"So you're both available on the singles market?" Midna asked, her finger hovering over a single button on the keyboard. Zelda and Tetra nodded, Midna grinning only half a second afterwards, "Awesome. So let's get this show on the road." She pressed the button. On a screen that was in front of a portable projector a display of red letters appeared in four steps. On the top the display was labeled DEFEATING THE EVIL GANNONDORF in bold red lettering. "Take a seat gentlemen and lady. This might take a little while."

Zelda and Tetra sat next to Midna while Shadow and Link sat at the opposite end of the small round table to face the girls. "Who is she exactly?" Shadow whispered to Link, meaning Zelda/Tetra, who was talking quickly with Midna, "Is she some kind of…invalid or something?"

Link shook his head and said softly into his twin's ear, "Zelda and Tetra are part of a mental disorder called multiple personality disorder or MPD. When they were born they both existed inside their brain and since the body's name is Zelda Tetra Princeton they both took on a name. They write books to support themselves and when they kept getting kicked out of apartment complexes for their dual personalities I took them in. They make great company, especially when Jeopardy is playing."

Shadow nodded like it was something that he completely understood when in reality he only understood the minimal bits of his twin's minimal speech. "Good to know. Midna! Stop flirting and get on with the stupid presentation already."

Midna growled something nasty and illegal to record and began to explain the steps to Link and Zelda. "This is, obviously, the how-to-get-rid-of-Gannondorf plan in four steps. Step number 1: Infiltration. Shadow will go in and pretend to be another hooker/stripper for the money. Link, that's where you come in. You're going to do the recommending. It'll be best since, as your twin brother, Shadow will be almost guaranteed a job.

"Step 2: Gain the Enemy's Trust. You have to do whatever it is you have to do, but Gannondorf won't know any of this. He'll just have to assume that Shadow is just another poor stripping/hooker that he can make money off of.

"Step 3: Find Enemy's Weakness. Shadow will go snooping for info to get you out of Gannondorf's grasp for good, but Gannondorf won't know any of this. With the info that we get from the snooping we'll compile some shit together to make it so that Gannondorf will never want anything to do with either of you ever again.

"And finally Step 4: Defeat the Enemy Once and For All. We'll enact our plan in action and then, hallelujah and praise the lord, you'll be free. How does that sound?"

Link thought about for a full two seconds before Tetra took the words right out of his mouth, "It sounds too good and easy to be real. What's the catch?"

"You're going to be put in danger," Shadow said, crossing his arms and trying to look tough. Link saw something else beneath the surface though – was that fear? It was easier to say because, well, he did the same thing. "Lots of danger," Shadow continued "And it may not work and even then you still have to give us payment. Yeah, don't think that just because we might fail that you're going to miss out on some of this." Shadow grinned and used one long silvery finger to slide up his thigh suggestively, adding a wink to Link's eye roll.

Midna grinned and glanced at Zelda/Tetra up and down when they weren't looking, "Yep, we're all getting a little something-something when this is all over with."

Link glanced up and down Shadow like Midna had done with Zelda/Tetra, except without any of the suggestiveness behind it (well, maybe just a little bit). "Damn. Well, suppose I have my work cut out for me then."

Shadow frowned, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Link gave Shadow a drawl look, "Men primarily want bottoms. I need to teach you how to be more submissive and less of a dick."

Midna and Zelda/Tetra tried to cover their laughter with snorts at Shadow's indignant expression, "Excuse me? I'll have you know that I can so too be submissive." Link rolled his eyes again and knew immediately that Gannondorf would have a field day with trying to break in Shadow. Every pony needed to be ridden once before they went to the fair and all.

"Ladies, as much fun as this is we need to get going," Midna said, tapping her watch, "My information says Gannondorf leaves Gerudo Fantasies in one hour. I need some kind of sleep before tonight you know."

Link and Shadow agreed at that and left as quickly as it was mentioned. Link saw two motorcycles parked in front of the apartment, nice ones, a charcoal black one and a neon orange one, both of the same model and year. Link hesitated before hopping on the back of the charcoal black crotch rocket, holding onto Shadow for dear life and limb. "You ready?" Shadow grinned, and before Link could tell him to go slow he revved the bike up in its throaty purr and zoomed off faster than anything that Link could have imagined (he was sure that the bikes weren't street legal but he wasn't going to say anything to something that might have passed him off as a wimp to his brother). Link watched the scenery flash by in one colorful blur as they didn't stop for stop signs or red lights. Link saw his life flash before his eyes several times over by the time that they reached the building of Gerudo Fantasies, which Link promptly got off the bike and collapsed on the ground from pure exhaustion of worrying for his future as anything.

"You OK there bro?" Shadow grinned, his face above Link's, "Quite the doozy of a ride there. Your first time on a motorcycle?" Link nodded and tried not to throw up as he staggered to stand and hobbled to the backdoor, throwing hateful glances at Shadow whenever the white haired young man whispered, "I took your motorcycle virginity!" Ugh, he was so immature.

A few steps from the motorcycle, Link looked over to the moon's child of him. Shadow halted in his progress towards the door when he saw the look of sheer intensity and seriousness that Link gave him. Shadow gave him his undivided attention , halting his progression, as the blond said, "You'll have to play hooker, stripper, and pleaser to all. Last chance to back out now."

Shadow blinked. Then, his face contorted into a confident smirk. "Please, I've dealt with worse. Just because the big, bad man has you wetting your diapers doesn't mean that I'm scared of him. Hell, I'm pretty sure that the others I've dealt with would put your pimp to shame."

Link scowled but tried one last time. "You realize that you will have to eventually have to have sex with that man, don't you? He will test to see that you're acceptable to customers."

Shadow simply scoffed and put a sassy hand on his hip, "Bitch puh-leaze. I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for the fact that I'm so damn good at judging health then I would have an STD by now. That's how much of a not-virgin I am. I think that I can handle one horny pimp."

Link's scowl only deepened at Shadow's little speech about his sex life but didn't question him on it for the simple reason of: he didn't want any mental image pictures to pop up and he felt that he would be getting far better acquainted with his brother than he ever wanted, no matter how pretty he was. Link sighed and shook his head knowingly as the two advanced towards the backdoor. Ten feet from Gannondorf's door Link stood up straight and proud, like he refused to be beaten by one man who controlled his safety and future. Shadow noticed the sudden change and followed accordingly, except with perhaps a little more swag than necessary. Link knocked on the door three times before a deep commanding voice inside announced, "Enter." Link and Shadow did so.

Gannondorf was behind his desk with the single lamp on, a calendar on his desk with various shows written on different days, and a laptop that was open to a desert screensaver. One look at Link had mild surprise on it, but when his eyes drifted over to Shadow it was like they almost bugged out of their sockets while still remaining completely intimidating. "Link," he said slowly, watching Shadow like Mr. Krabs watches a winning lottery ticket, "Who is the young man standing behind you?"

"This is Shadow," Link explained, Shadow standing slightly in front of him into the light so that Gannondorf could get a better look at his new merchandise, "He's my twin brother. He needs a job really badly. Could he work here until he gets back on his feet?" Link tried to sound polite and civil to the man who held his future in his meaty palm but the anger and frustration still leaked its way in, even a little bit of pity for his brother. Link was still well convinced that Shadow had no idea as to what he was getting himself into.

Gannondorf didn't seem to notice anything unusual, but then again he had his pervy mad genius moment in his eyes. "You need to be a stripper?" Shadow nodded. Gannondorf leaned back in his comfy chair, cool as a cucumber as he assessed all the things that he could have Link and Shadow do on stage and off stage. Had to check his legal options too concerning that…Then again not really, he had the entire police department wrapped around his little finger. "Start stripping for my benefit. In the corner there is a pole. Use it to your every advantage." Gannondorf switched on a CD and club music poured out.

And so Shadow did. Shadow shrugged off his jacket slowly and as sexy as he could manage, pulling off his top to the steady beat of the music and slithering out of his boots and pants like he couldn't wait to get out of them, dancing and twirling around the pole like he was a sex god. All he had on left were his silky black boxer shorts, and if Link admitted it to himself the show was enough for him to want to know what little (or big) surprise was under that black wrapped gift.

From his position at the pole Shadow had a clear view of Gannondorf's lust glazed eyes as he watched what Shadow could do after watching only a couple of video tapes that had his twin brother up on stage (had to take a cold shower after that) and also a quick tutorial on pole dancing when he was preparing to meet the pimp. Wasn't that hard when you understood the basics and had the muscle strength to hoist yourself up, which both he and Link had in perfect amount. He began to tease the waist band of his boxer shorts, Gannondorf's interest going up two fold and Link's – holy shit was that the smallest bit of a hard on showing? Shadow shot the two men a coquettish smile as he self-congratulated himself on getting his twin brother aroused (no matter however slight) and was to steps from removing his underwear –

- when the song ended. Shadow removed his fingers from the waistband, full on grinning flirtatiously at Gannondorf and Link. "What did you think?" he asked innocently, defiantly in contrast to his half naked appearance, "Was it any good Gannondorf?"

Gannondorf cleared his throat wisely before stating, "You'll do fine here. Will you be doing all that Link does?" So he was insinuating being a whore too. Shadow shrugged as he pulled on his pants, something that translated to yes in Gannondorf's mind. "Good," the big man said, scratching something off the calendar and writing something new in its place, "You'll start tonight. Take these CDs that contain all the shows that are shown here. Memorize the 41st script as position 1 by tonight. You are both dismissed. Oh, and Shadow," the moon's child shivered at the wide, greedy, lust filled smile that Gannondorf's face had contorted into as he said, "Welcome to Gerudo Fantasies."

Link and Shadow left the office, Shadow pulling on his sweater as he walked just behind Link, who seemed to be in a strange rush to leave and get back on the deathtrap of a motorcycle. Shadow grinned as he knew what was happening and dashed to stand before his brother in front of the charcoal colored crotch rocket. "You liked it didn't you? You liked me pole dancing. Come on, admit it, you liked it. Otherwise you wouldn't have your little buddy there waking up to come out and play." Shadow, the unsubtle bastard, looked right down at Link's ever so slightly tented pants with a hungry look and then back into Link's quite adorable face.

Link felt his face blush ten shades darker and shook his head furiously at his brother's insinuation. He wasn't even attracted to the man he lost his virginity to and he was pretty damn hot! By all the goddesses that he knew, every single one of them must be laughing their godly asses off by the entertainment that Link was unwillingly giving them. Why did they always feel that it was necessary to torture him repeatedly? Wasn't Rusl and Uli enough when they took them away?

Shadow's grin widened exponentially, missing the small sparks of light that disappeared from his brother's eyes. He leaned forward into his brother's face just slightly, surprising the lights back into the noon time blue eyes, "You do like me a lot, don't you?" Shadow's whispered breath ghosted over his cheeks, the warmth of hi breath actually creating a cooling mint scented breeze over Link's heated face. The sun's child shivered involuntarily at the sensation and looked straight into his twin's eyes to tell him to back off when the most remarkable thing happened – he couldn't do it. Shadow's red ruby eyes captured his full attention, captivating their victim like he couldn't live without them. Shadow, either oblivious to his eyes effect or completely aware and taking advantage of the situation, smirked as he leaned forward, never taking his eye off of his brother's noon day blues, touched their noses, kissed the tip of his nose and then began travelling south. Slowly, achingly so, Link was still surprised when his brother, his twin brother, the Shadow of Hyrule, his savior to his plight, kissed his fully and completely on the lips.

A/N: No excuse for lateness except mothers, life in general, and four children under the age of seven constantly running around the house.

P.S. Much love to MusicGamerGirl who actually wrote 4 reviews when there were only 3 chapters up. I adore you! Oh, and by the way, I listened to the Sonic Song "Endless Possibilities" like you suggested and I have to say that it does fit the thing that I'm going for! Who knew right? (Well, obviously you did, but that's beside the point).

Disclaimer: Don't own and don't gain, simply to entertain

Fun Fact: Penguins are the only animals besides humans to display signs of prostitution. When a male penguin goes up to a female penguin that's not his mate, he will trade sex from her for stones to build the female penguin's nest. In conclusion – payment for sex. Who knew?