Lily had to admit, her expectations of James Potter were biased. She had first seen him over 6 years ago; he was freckly and spectacled, thin but with energy that suggested it wasn't from lack of sweets. His swagger had been painted on, even then. She had watched him grow from childish, to spiteful, to plain nasty and had never been able to understand why a crowd of loyal Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and even some Slytherins had seen fit to adore him. He had been clever and sporty and had become almost too good looking but he was still the same 11 year old on the inside. So when he 'left' she had been shocked, a little bit worried (but only as you would if you heard that a stranger had vanished without a trace) and secretly pleased. Losing their immature ringleader, the rest of the school had managed to grow up nicely.
At the end of their 6th year she had been paired with Sirius for a Transfiguration report and they had discovered their mutual love of silent company. That was where their friendship started – with quiet nights by a roaring fire. She appreciated that this would not have been possible, were James still in the picture. But, as months went by and Sirius moved from partner, to friend, to best friend she had begun to wonder whether it would be better for Sirius to be happy even if it did mean that they lost what they had. Sirius had put on a good show, good enough that perhaps even he believed himself, but she knew that he was miserable inside.
Then, as Head Boy and Girl, they had been chosen for this task. It had sounded relatively simple – infiltrate a school and get us access into it. It had just become more complicated that she would imagine.
Awkwardly, her eyes came to rest on the figure. Her heart stopped. He was indescribably beautiful. It could be that he had lost any residue baby fat, grown taller and more wide-set. It could be that he had come from a room dressed in just some low slung black jeans and his chest was sculpted better than David's. It could be the way his black hair stuck up in a way that she once found annoying but now was unbelievably sexy. But she didn't think it was. She thought it had more to do with the scars dotting his body.
In one glance she noticed two wounds where it looked like he had been stabbed in his abdomen, several slices across his biceps and a criss-cross of silver lines over his jaw and cheek. And what made it special was his expression. He was rubbing sleep out of one eye tiredly, yawning; mouth quirking up in a gentle smile. His hand came down and he looked around with such an innocent, loving look that Lily couldn't quite match up to the rest of him. He was resilience, determination, strength, hope and bravery incarnate in a hot body.
Then he noticed them. Exhaustion, weariness, flitted into his deep hazel eyes and sadness pulled his face longer. He was heartbreaking.
Then, beside her, Sirius clenched up, snapping her back to life.
'What's going on?' James asked, his honeyed tones gliding as gracefully as the rest of him over to them. Lily tried to drop her eyes from his so she could concentrate better but found them admiring his chest and had to turn to look at Sirius and Tina.
'Hey,' Tina smiled at James, reaching up casually to flick a lock of hair out of his eyes. For a pounding moment Lily froze. Touching his hair didn't mean anything, right? It was just hair! She touched Sirius' all the time! Just because it looked intimate and they held each other's gaze too much didn't mean anything! Nothing! James was probably just too tired to move his eyes quick enough! It wasn't like-
James leant down and kissed Tina lightly.
Sirius yelped, and Lily realised that she'd dug her nails viciously into his forearm and had drawn blood.
James, Sirius, Lily and Tina looked at the scarlet bead concernedly, and as one three of them raised their heads to stare at Lily.
'Umm,' she said, thinking desperately, 'me and Sirius just need to go and talk for a second!' She dragged her victim away and heard Tina mutter 'Sirius and I!' behind her back. Nothing made her blood boil like having her grammar corrected did.
Huddled in a dark corned, Lily looked at Sirius, waiting for his quiet outburst. But he just stared at nothing in particular, eyes glazed over until she touched his wound gently and he became aware of everything again.
'Do you think he wanted to leave?' He asked immediately, frown giving his an uncharacteristically serious look.
Lily swallowed, 'No. That is, I think to want to do something you have to have the choice. He didn't get one, did he?' She suddenly didn't want to believe that he'd chosen to leave. It was too like him choosing Tina over her.
Their awkward conversation fizzled to a halt as James called out for everyone to listen.
As a leader he lost all his boyish charm and innocence, becoming sturdier and harder. His sexy edge took control. Unfortunately, he had donned a white t-shirt.
'Okay guys, we've been planning ripping this place apart for over a year! What would you say if I told you tonight's the night?' He looked at them all, expectant, and they gaped back.
'You're crazy,' Dan croaked, looking nervously excited.
James shot him a look, 'don't be stupid, Mr Longthorpe,' he imitated Mr Infortati's Scottish accent, 'you have a brain, using it isn't that difficult!'
A chuckle went up which Sirius and Lily subconsciously mimicked.
James smiled at them all once more before growing serious, 'Seriously though, guys and gals. When was the last time you saw your families. Have you forgotten the last thing your parents said to you, have you picked apart every memory of your friends yet? Are things starting to blur?' His eyes burned with anguish. 'How much more of this – this bullying, this victimising, and this abuse – can you all take? What are you going to lose next? Who are we going to lose next? I wanted to do this months ago but got outvoted. Look what happened – we've lost Camilla. Sweet little Camilla who was too lovely to go. We can do this, guys! You could be home by later tonight.' He looked round at them all. 'Chris – isn't it your little brothers birthday in a few days? Imagine being able to see him turn 4! And Sasha – Christmas with your family!'
The idea was catching quickly, Lily could see. James knew what buttons to press to convince them – he could have taught manipulation as a subject here.
'Let's do it!' Tina cheered from behind him, her thin arms slipping comfortably round his waist.
The cheer was taken up and the crowd departed, seemingly to get into pre-planned positions.
James grimaced at Sirius and Lily, alone in the room with them, 'Stay here, yeah? Things are about to get violent.' He made to leave but was cut off by Lily, arguing automatically.
'We can look after ourselves!'
James turned back, painfully slowly, 'I know that – but this is beyond compare to even the most gruesome of what's out there. This world is separate from yours. Stay here.' The final part was an order, ringing with authority, and though neither of them answered Sirius and Lily both knew they would obey.
Tense, they sat down to wait, the door clicking shut behind James.
