Year One - Day One-Eighty Six

Dooku scratches at a patch hidden underneath his arm as he sits quietly in front of the recorder. He looks flushed, like he's recently exerted himself by playing or something.

I got into a fight today with a boy with a ring of horns on his head. I don't know what he is, I've never seen his kind before. Anyway, he wouldn't stop teasing me about the exercises Master Sulla was trying to teach us today. I couldn't flip over side ways, my feet kept going the other way when I tried.

He winces a little and turns his scratching to rubbing.

Stupid alien bit me on my arm. Now I can't ever do the flips until it heals. I'll show him though. I'll do the stupid flip better than him. Better than anyone!

He frowns and examines the patch on his arm.

I overheard the other adults about the fight, about me. They said I have a lot of anger in me. Of course I'm angry! The boy wouldn't stop teasing me and they won't take me home. I've been here for almost a year now and I haven't made any friends and those who I have played with seem to tolerate me more than like me.

I find myself alone a lot.

I miss mom and dad.

I miss Mala.

I hate this place.

"Learn to let go, you should," said someone who stepped into view as the young Dooku stared in surprise. He reached for the recorder to turn it off but Yoda stopped him gently with the tip of his gimmerstick. "Look upon this again in the future you may need."

Dooku wasn't sure what to say or do so he stayed quiet but timidly cast his head down.

"Like many things you will not. Face these things a Jedi must, if he ever wishes to accomplish that which he sets out to do."

"I don't want to be a Jedi," Dooku protested quietly, daring to glare up at the old Jedi Master. "I want to go home."

"Miss your family you do," Yoda replied and with some effort he sat down beside the boy, his ears flattened slightly against his head, looking saddened. "Miss you they do also, but proud they are of you. Proud that you will become a Jedi."

Dooku wiped at his nose with the sleeve of his good arm. "How would you know? Master Naki says I am to forget them. That they are no longer a part of my life."

"Tsk, youngling. Master Yoda knows, because spoke to your father he did. Saddened to let you go, he was, but proud of your gift more so. Keeps in contact with the Order, your father does, so that he may know how well you are. Forgotten you are not and alone you most certainly are not."

"Why can't I talk to him?"

"Miss him more you will," Yoda explained and placed a clawed hand on the boy's shoulder. "Hinder your training it would. Ask you to forget them, Master Naki should not have, but let go you should."

"But isn't that the same as forgetting?"

Yoda shook his head lightly.

"Attached to your hair, are you not?" Dooku reached up to his spiky, short-cropped hair and shook his head. "But remember its old length you do?" The boy nodded. "But attached you are not, why?"

"It's just hair."

"A part of you it still is. Miss it why do you not?"

Dooku frowned as he thought about it. After a moment he seemed to understand. "Because it will grow back eventually, so I shouldn't mourn something that really isn't lost."

The small alien smiled but said nothing, waiting on the boy.

Dooku continued, "I don't see how I am to let go of my parents."

Yoda sighed softly and slowly climbed back to his feet. "Lost to you, your parents are not. Far away they may be, but always be there and love you they will. With that knowledge, young Dooku, learn to let go you can. Meditate on this you should."

The boy looked down embarrassingly. "I'm not very good at meditating, Master."

The Jedi Master chuckled softly and patted the top of the boy's head. "Nor was I when your age I was. Learn you will, that is why you are here."