Lisbon and Jane lay on the mattress, head to foot staring at the ceiling. Lisbon had kicked off her boots and had draped her jacket over them. Jane had unbuttoned his waistcoat, one hand under his head and the other resting flat on his stomach. They lay in silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts. Lisbon could see the crescent moon drifting through the clouds.
"Why won't you tell me what's wrong with you?" Jane asked, breaking the silence, his voice soft and gentle. So much so that at first Lisbon didn't think he had spoken at all.
She sighed, stretching her legs slightly. Jane winced playfully at the smell of her feet. She smiled over at him.
"Sorry," He muttered.
Lisbon let herself fall back onto the mattress. "I don't know," She said. "It's nothing bad-"
"Well that's good," Jane said. Lisbon smiled and said nothing. Jane looked over at her. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"
"It's personal." Lisbon replied.
"Teresa," Jane sat up, leaning on his elbows. He stared at her, his eyes glistening in the moonlight. Lisbon stared at him. She had never noticed how... Angelic... His hair, his cheekbones... Lisbon shook the thought from her head. "You know I am always here for you. You can trust me."
"It's nothing," Lisbon muttered, sitting up, pushing her legs over the mattress. Her fingers entwined in her dark hair.
"Vicodin isn't nothing," Jane said. "It's a serious chronic pain medication. I want to know why you are taking it."
"Jane," Lisbon smiled. "I'm fine. Don't worry,"
Jane stared at her, and then he nodded. "I respect your wishes," He said.
"Thank you," Lisbon said. Jane smiled a little then fell back onto the mattress, resuming his previous position. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily. Lisbon's fingers twisted the fibres. The room was cold and she hadn't realised how so until that moment. "Jane?"
"Mm?" Jane didn't open his eyes.
"Do you not have central?" She asked. Jane's blinked and sniffed.
"No," He said.
"Why not?" Lisbon asked.
"The bill hasn't been paid in a few months. They cut me off." Jane shrugged.
"How can you live like this?" She asked.
"Easily," Jane replied. "I barely notice the cold now." Lisbon sighed, saying nothing. Jane stared for a few minutes. He sighed and got up, moving towards the built in cupboards. He slid it open to reveal a line of suits. He reached up and pulled out a worn blanket. He sniffed and unfolded it, draping it over Lisbon's shoulders.
"Thanks," She muttered. "Why do you have a spare?"
"In case the other is in the wash," Jane shrugged lying back down on the mattress.
Lisbon stared at him. "Is that a lie?"
"Yes," Jane said. "You're getting good at this."
"Thanks," Lisbon said. "I did learn from the master."
"Oh, Lisbon, please," Jane said, blushing slightly.
"Unfortunately you weren't available," Lisbon continued.
Jane's face fell slightly. He said nothing. He sniggered though, acknowledging Lisbon's sense of humour. Silence ensued again. Lisbon leaned back against the wall, watching Jane's eyes flicker to and from the red smiling face painted on the wall. She too became mesmerized by it. It was heart-breaking to watch. Jane let his fingers trace over the cracks in the wall. They lost themselves in their own thoughts again. Unable to think of anything new to say that wasn't to do with their personal troubles, Lisbon spoke up again.
"Jane," She said. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Depends how personal," Jane replied, breathing softly.
"What's it like to lose a child? Is it really as bad as people say?"
Jane shifted uncomfortable at where this new angle of the conversation was going. His eyes shot open and he sat up. "Why would you ask me that?" He asked. "You've lost family before,"
"Yes," Lisbon said. "Parents. But that's nothing. Everyone loses their parents at some time or the other. I can't imagine someone having to bury a child and surviving it."
"If you can't recall, Teresa, I didn't survive it." Jane said coldly. "Can we please change the subject?"
Lisbon stared at him. "I'm sorry," She said. "I was just curious,"
"Yeah, well, curiosity is not what killed the cat. It's what got the cat's family hurt," Jane snapped. He stopped himself, looking away slightly. "Sorry," he muttered.
"It's okay," Lisbon said.
"Are you really not going to tell me what's wrong with you?" Jane asked.
"Nope,"
"Double negative. You're now obliged to tell me,"
"Don't try and think that you can work that crap on me and I'll fall into it." Lisbon said. "I'm fine, Jane. Seriously. Just drop it."
"I wish that I could," Jane said. "But I'm a very inquisitive being."
"I am aware of this," Lisbon replied.
Jane smiled, staring at the ceiling. "You're seriously not going to tell me?"
"No, I don't trust you enough to tell you."
"So, the trust fall didn't work?"
"Trust fall?"
"Doesn't matter," Jane said, smiling slightly.
Lisbon stared at him. She tugged at the blanket, pulling it further over her shoulders. "For the last 18 months, I've been feeling these things for this guy. But I don't like them. I mean, you know how psychological pain can manifest as physical pain?"
"I am aware of this," Jane said. "So you take the physical pain and numb it the same way counselling would rid you of all the pain altogether? Teresa, that's messed up."
"That's what you're focusing on?" Lisbon asked. "You're not gonna ask about the guy?"
"Do you want me to ask you about who the guy is?" Jane asked. "No, it's not my business to know."
"Who are you and what have you done with Patrick Jane?" Lisbon asked.
Jane smiled. He sat up further. "Are you okay?" He asked.
"I'm fine." Lisbon said. Jane smiled at her. "What time is it?"
"Erm." Jane reached for his watch. "My watch is broken," He said. "Can't help you,"
"Ah well," Lisbon stretched and stood up. "I better go home,"
"No," Jane said, grabbing her hand. They looked at each other for a second and stared at their interlocked hands. "Please, stay,"
"Jane," Lisbon said. "I can't,"
"Stay the night," He insisted. "Please, just keep me company,"
Lisbon nodded. "Alright, just for tonight though," She said. She sat back down on the mattress. "Budge up," She said. Jane obliged, moving slightly. "So, is this the only mattress you have or do you have a cot stashed away somewhere."
Jane said nothing, staring at the red face. "Teresa," He muttered.
"Yes?" Lisbon stared at him, his curls gleaming. She wanted to stretch out and touch them. She bit her lips staring at him.
"Nothing," He whispered, his eyes flickering. "Teresa?"
Lisbon edged towards him. "Yes?" She whispered. They were so close now. Lips centimetres apart. Lisbon felt her heartbeat quicken. Jane sighed and pulled away.
"Maybe I should go home," She said.
"Maybe," Jane said.
Lisbon nodded and picked up her shoes and jacket. She pulled them on quickly and left. Jane turned staring at the wall. Tears pouring thick and fast down his cheeks.
