I want to thank everyone for sticking with me so far. I know this is far from your typical Edward/Bella love story. In this chapter, you'll get a little more perspective on what's going on in Edward's mind. As always, I love to hear your thoughts.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight – I just own this plot.

In the moonlight your face it glows like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like the ocean breeze
Not a million fights could make me hate you
You're invincible
Yeah, It's true it's in your eyes where I find peace
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
Let's light up the town, scream out loud!
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
I can see in your eyes You're ready to break
Don't look away.
So here we are now in a place where the sun blended with the ocean thin.
So thin, we stand across from each other
Together we'll wonder if we will last these days
If I asked you to stay would you tell me you would be mine?
And time Is all I ask for
Time I just need one more day and time
You've been crying too long

Broken - Secondhand Serenade


The rest of the evening was subdued. Edward had effectively killed the carefree mood of the evening, and the rest of the family made no effort to disguise their feelings about his attitude towards Bella. Rose, in particular, made her thoughts loud and clear - the most frequent was her desire to see his testicles removed in a very painful manner and fed to the first animal she could find.

Out of all of his family's disappointed and disgusted thoughts, Esme's pain cut him to the quick. She was such a gentle soul, who conducted herself with grace no matter the circumstances. He knew his actions that evening had grieved her deeply; their conversation just served to reinforce that belief. He had disappointed the one person who had never failed to love him, even when he deserved it the least. The look in her eyes as she spoke to him and her unspoken thoughts reduced him to tearless sobs.

Bella found him sitting against the island in the kitchen, hands tangled in his chestnut hair. She was still hurt, but she actually felt bad for Edward. His family had not been easy on him for most of the evening. Based on Rose's verbal lashing alone, she figured he was under a mental assault designed to punish him for his earlier stunt. She did get a measure of satisfaction that the family was on her side, but in the end Edward was her husband, and it was evident he was hurting, too.

She slid down, brought her hands to his, and gently disentangled his fingers from his hair. His arms fell limply at his sides; his eyes stared blankly forward.

"Edward," she started, words forming then dying on her tongue.

"I've hurt you again." His voice was heavy with regret, yet he still wouldn't look at her.

Bella still wasn't sure what to say. It had become a pattern: Edward would hurt Bella, apologize, things would go back to normal, and then it would start all over again. The only difference was that tonight his family was witness to his temper, and tonight was just a small glimpse of what their marriage had become. And yet, when she looked at Edward she wasn't sure she could ever leave him. So, they would keep falling into the same routine: hurt and love, anger and lust circling around them like vultures, picking away at them until nothing was left of the innocent love they once shared.

She closed the short distance between them until they were touching and leaned her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence until Bella went to bed, leaving Edward alone on the kitchen floor. She had just slipped in to bed when the door opened.

The light in the hall illuminated Edward from behind, casting his features in an eerie glow. He looked like a dark angel. If that's what he was, the only thing Bella had left to give him was her soul and that he would not take. She bit back a sob as he sat on the bed beside her and kissed her temple. Surely, she prayed, it wouldn't be much longer until Edward realized that her humanity was slowly strangling her. One way or another, her soul would be lost; she preferred to exchange it for eternity with Edward rather than a human lifetime of bitterness and regret.

Bella woke the next morning in confusion. It took her a moment to realize that she was in their bed in Forks, not in their bed at home. With that realization, all of the memories from the night before came flooding back. Instead of dwelling on them, she got out of bed and walked to the window. The morning sun was shining brightly; she felt slightly bad that she was glad Edward would have to stay close to home. Since she only had Saturday and part of Sunday in Forks, Bella wasted no time getting ready. After she had showered and dressed, she walked downstairs, following the fragrant aroma of her favorite coffee. She walked in the kitchen and saw Edward standing over the stove, egg in one hand, frying pan in the other.

Alice was perched on the counter, while Jasper hovered over the cutting board. Apparently Edward had drafted him into cooking for the human.

"All this for little ole me?" She walked over to Jasper and leaned on the counter next to him. "How did you get roped into this?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Wrong place, wrong time, I guess."

"Jasper misses his little sister," Alice teased. "He's been moping around here all morning. Doesn't he look like a sad little puppy?"

Edward's shoulders shook slightly, but he held in his laughter. Bella, on the other hand, doubled over in laughter. "Jasper, the sad little puppy! Well, little puppy, I've missed you, too." She rose up to give Jasper a peck on the cheek. She glanced over at Alice, who was frowning at Edward. No doubt they were having a silent conversation.

Bella walked over to Edward and looked at Alice. She shook her head slightly and she hopped off the counter.

"I think Edward can handle it from here," she said. "We should go before Rose and Emmett get too far ahead of us and get all the bears. I'm sick of deer."

"Oh," Bella said, disappointment in her tone. "I though we could spend the morning together. I'm spending the afternoon with my dad."

"Don't worry - you, Rose and I having girl's night tonight." She gave Bella a quick hug before grabbing Jasper's hand and leaving out the back door.

The silence that followed bore down on Bella, causing her shoulders to slump; it was the weight of all the things she wanted to say but would never have the courage to let out. She shook off the despair that was threatening to overtake her and wrapped her arms around her husband's waist. As she pressed her face against his back, Edward put down the bowl and whisk and turned Bella so she was pressed to his chest.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, his voice muffled by her hair.

"Good. I forgot how comfy that bed is. Looks like you'll be staying close to home today."

"Alice says it will be clear and sunny all day." He sighed. "After you leave, I'm going to go hunting with Carlisle and Esme. I need to spend some time with them. I'll miss you today."

"I always miss you. But, it will be nice to spend time with Charlie. I worry about him."

"He's lucky to have you, Bella. So, what are you two going to do today?"

"Lunch at the diner; besides that, I'm not sure. I'm sure there's probably a game on that he'll want to watch. My guess is we'll just hang out at the house." Bella looked forward to the solitude of her father's house. She could just be herself, no expectations, no fear of failure. Her stomach picked that moment to grumble.

"I'm neglecting your breakfast," Edward said, placing a kiss on the top of her head and releasing her. "Enjoy your coffee. I'll finish your breakfast. Is a western omelet and toast okay?"

"It sounds absolutely delicious. Are you sure I can't help?"

Edward simply rolled his eyes and went into vampire mode. Before she had finished her first cup of coffee, he placed a plate in front of her. "Bon Appetite."

After Bella finished eating, she washed the dishes and made sure the kitchen was clean. The weather was so beautiful that she couldn't resist slipping out the door and walking into the back yard. She found a soft patch of grass and lowered herself to the ground. The grass smelled fresh and clean and the sun was a warm caress on her skin. She let the light breeze carry away her worries away like puffs from a dandelion and before long, she was drifting asleep.

Edward watched Bella lying in the grass out the kitchen window. She looked like an angel, and his chest tightened as he thought about all of the ways he had hurt her over the past few years. He couldn't seem to stop, no matter how many times he promised her otherwise. When they had first met, everything about Bella was perfect. Once he overcame his urge to kill her, Bella became his whole world; her safety and happiness meant more to him than his own existence. Their wedding day was the happiest day of his life. As newlyweds, they were insatiable for each other, not only sexually, but intellectually and emotionally as well. He didn't think that either one of them could imagine their relationship as it was today.

It happened gradually, but little by little, all of the little things that he found so endearing about Bella began to annoy him instead. Then, one day he began seeing her as a human: weak, mortal, limited. When the veil of idealism fell from his eyes, the realization of her true nature left him scared and depressed. For the first time, he truly understood her insistence that she become like him. She wouldn't be young and beautiful forever. Sickness and frailty would become a normal part of her life, and one day, she would die. But, even that realization couldn't shake his belief that her soul would be dammed to hell if she became a vampire. She was so pure, so good. He had killed without regret; saving her soul was the only amends he could make for the sins he had committed. So, he was faced with a decision. Accept her humanity without condition and concede that one day she would die, or change her, thereby risking her soul, but keeping her with him for eternity.

He was at war with himself every day. Turning her would be so easy, just the lightest of pressure against her skin, a few drops of his venom in her bloodstream, and she would be his forever. But she deserved so much more. She had already sacrificed a life with a husband that couldn't give her children. Could he take away the rest of the human experiences he had been denied? Could he damn her soul to hell for eternity? As his mood grew darker, his temper became shorter. He found himself snapping at Bella - saying things to her that he knew would hurt her feelings. Try as he might, he couldn't contain the hostility bubbling up inside him. Try as he might, he couldn't stop hurting the one person who he could not exist without.

He found himself walking towards the door and out into the yard. With each step he took towards Bella, he tried to leave all of the bitterness and confusion behind. He stopped in front of her and stared down; she was so beautiful.

"Hey, you're blocking my sun." Bella smiled up at him and patted the ground next to her.

He lay down beside her, and she immediately snuggled close and molded herself to his body. She took his hand in hers and lifted it in front of her face, turning it back and forth and smiling as the light bounced off his skin. Still feeling the desperate ache of all his failures, he rolled over so that he was on top of Bella.

One minute she was lying next to Edward, the next he was on top of her, looking at her with such love and sadness it sucked all the air out of her lungs. "What has happened to us," she murmured, reaching up to stroke his face.

His lips crashed down on hers, heavy with the weight of all they had lost. At that moment, they were both open, vulnerable; they both knew there was no going back. Her lips moved against his gently, coaxing him back to her. She needed him present, in the moment, not lost in a past they could not change. His lips stilled against hers, and he pulled away slightly. He brushed his lips against her forehead, eyes, and chin before rediscovering her lips. Bella immersed herself in the kiss, giving herself over to him as she had so many times before.

"I love you, so much," she sighed against his lips.

"You will always be my world, Bella." He lowered himself back down beside her and wrapped his arms around her waist. They lay together until Bella started shivering, despite the warm weather. "You're cold," Edward said, releasing her and sitting up.

Bella missed the feel of his arms around her but knew that she needed to get ready to leave for lunch with Charlie. "I should freshen up a little before I pick up Charlie." She slowly stood up and brushed bits of leaves and grass from her hair.

Fifteen minutes later she was in the Volvo, headed to see her father. She pulled into the driveway and sat in the car for a minute, composing her thoughts. She wasn't one to show much emotion around her father, but today she had the desire to feel his protective arms around her while she cried. She couldn't - she needed to hold it together - for both of their sakes. However, Charlie was way more perceptive than he let on, and she didn't want to give him any more reason to worry about her than he already did. Once she was sure her emotions were contained, she got out of the car, closing the door with her hip, and made her way inside.

"Bells!" Charlie called as soon as the door closed with a creak and a rattle.

"You should get this door fixed. I'm not a teenager you need to keep from sneaking out of the house anymore." Little did Charlie know that she never had the need to sneak out of the house since Edward climbed through her bedroom window every night.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just one of many things I need to do around this house. I'd rather spend my free time fishing. Maybe I'll hire Jake to do some repairs. Billy says he's pretty handy with a hammer."

Bella sucked in a breath at the mention of Jake. "Good idea, Dad. I'm sure he would be happy to help." She hoped that was the end of the subject. Her frayed nerves couldn't take another hit.

"Speaking of Jake, he says you two haven't seen each other lately. I know you're a married woman now, but Jake was your best friend."

Pain stabbed at her gut, visceral and raw. She didn't need a reminder of how important Jake had been in her life. She missed him more and more every day. "I know, Dad. We're both just so busy."

"Bells, one thing I've learned is that you need to make time for your friends. Life is too short to let friendships fade because you're busy. At least call him. I know he'll be thrilled to hear from you."

"I will, but first, I've got a lunch date with a handsome older gentleman." She winked at Charlie and held out her arm.

"Old - you wound me," he replied, grasping his chest before taking her arm.

They had a companionable lunch at the diner, followed by an afternoon of Charlie watching baseball while she read. It was exactly what Bella needed - a relaxing day spent in the company of the one person she knew loved her unconditionally. She left before dinner; Charlie had been invited to eat with Sue Clearwater and Billy Black. He had urged her to join them, but she demurred, citing her girl's night with Alice and Rose.

By the time she arrived back at the Cullens, everyone was home. Edward greeted her at the door and pulled her close. "I missed you today."

"How was hunting?"

"We ran across a few mountain lions, and Carlisle snagged a bear. Overall it was a pretty good day. What about you? Did you enjoy your afternoon with Charlie?"

"It was nice, quiet. Charlie watched baseball; I read."

"Are you ready for your girl's evening? I've seen what Alice has planned," he teased.
Bella rolled her eyes. Edward never failed to tease her about the facials, manicures and pedicures Alice insisted be a part of every girl's night they shared. What she failed to tell him was that over the years, she had come to enjoy the pampering. Alice was better than any professional out there - and she didn't charge.

After Bella made a quick sandwich, she changed into her pajamas and made her way to Alice's bedroom. She and Rose had already piled pillows on the floor in front of the television and laid out everything they would need for their spa night.

"Get in here!" Alice called as Bella hesitated in the doorway.

"Do you want to watch 'The Notebook' or 'Dear John'?" Rose asked.

"How about neither? I'm really in the mood for comedy," Bella responded.

"I was hoping you would say that," Rose said. "You know how much I hate that sappy shit."

Alice pouted while Rose got the movie ready. "So, what do you have planned for me tonight?" Bella asked, hoping to cheer Alice up.

It worked - a smile crossed her face as she began to describe the facial, imported from France that she was going to try on Bella that evening. "You're going to love it!" she exclaimed, putting Bella's hair into a ponytail.

Alice, Rose, and Bella spent the rest of the night laughing and talking. She had Rose still had an uneasy friendship, but Bella knew as long as she wanted to become a vampire there would always be a barrier between them. But, most of the time, they were able to put that aside and enjoy each other's company.

When Bella started to yawn, Alice sent her to bed beautified and happy. It had been a perfect day; she was just sad it had to end. As she climbed into the soft cotton sheets, Bella contemplated asking Edward to join her but fell asleep before his name could leave her lips.