A/N: Yet another chapter of Stupid Mike! Enjoy

Disclaimer: For the 100th time, you do no own the Twilight Saga! Stop asking!
Me: I will find a way. Even if that means annoying you until you give me what I want *smiles evilly*
Disclaimer: AHHHHHHH! *flees the room*
Me: Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

B-POV

I climbed through the window, to find myself upstairs in the upstairs in Carlisle's study, at the little fridge that was behind his leather chair, invisible when you walk into the room. Perfect. I opened it to find the cups of blood Carlisle had purchased from blood drives and such. I grabbed a cup, and poured the contents of it into the metallic bottle that I would give to Renesmee. I threw the cup into the mini trashcan under Carlisle's desk, and darted down the stairs. I loved being fast without tripping over a bunch of nothingness. Alice looked up from the fashion magazine she was holding, and looked me over. Checking my outfit. I always had to look like a fashion model.

"Nice," she approved, and looked back down at the magazine. (A/N: pic of her outfit on profile) I rolled my eyes, and walked over to Rosalie. I smiled down at Renesmee, and handed Rosalie the bottle. I knew that she wanted to feed Renesmee today. I sat down on the couch in between her and Edward. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I adjusted my head so that I could see Renesmee sucking the bottle dry. Sure, she could live off of human food, but she always preferred blood. I really don't blame her. That baby formula reeks! I sighed contentedly. I sighed too soon. I heard tires turning off of the highway and onto our driveway. For the fourth time this week. I growled, a low menacing sound. My head snapped around and looked out the window.

"Can we move? Maybe that will get these freaky stalkers to leave me alone," I asked Carlisle who had just walked into the room.

"Maybe," Carlisle said wearily.

"C'mon!" I commanded everybody as I stood up, and walked towards the kitchen. I glanced back to see that Mike's SUV was still in the depths of the green forest. Everybody in it couldn't see us yet. I veered sideways and darted up the stairs at vampire speed. I heard 7 pairs of footsteps behind me as I walked into the 2nd floor family room.

"What are we doing?" Alice asked as we all sat down.

"Hiding. Maybe if we stay up here long enough, they'll think we're not home and go away," I told them as I plopped down on the sofa. Edward sat next to me, and took my hand in one of his. He extended his other arm, put it on my cheek, and turned my face to look at him. Him and all of his perfectness.

"It'll be fine soon enough. They'll get tired of you eventually," he joked. I gave him a smile, laid my head on his shoulder, and pulled my legs up on the couch.
Soon enough, there was the slamming of car doors, and 4 pairs of feet making their way to the door. A sweet blood scent, and 3 very repulsive ones. The third was the most repulsive, and the one whose owner is who I have not encountered before. At least, as a vampire. I was guessing it was Eric. I shuddered.

"Lemme guess," I said quietly through clenched teeth. "Mike, Tyler, Jessica, and Eric," I sneered his name. Poor, chess-club Eric. Alice gave me a sympathetic smile, and a small nod. I sighed of frustration. I heard a knock. Nobody in the room moved a single muscle. Except for Renesmee, that is.

"Maybe nobody's home, dude," Tyler said from outside.

"No, they're definitely home. All their cars are here," Mike told him. Another knock.

"You know, maybe Bella knows it's you and is hiding," Jessica sneered.

"No way! She loves me! I know she does. Cullen's just abusive and he won't let her leave," Mike told her. God he's so delusional!

"Mike! She loves Edward! God, you're so delusional!" Jessica yelled at him. It's like she read my mind.

"Hey Edward? Can Jessica read minds?" I asked.

"Uh, no. Why?" he asked.

"Because I was just thinking that, and then she said it," I shrugged. "I mean, like, the exact same thing," I told him. This time, he shrugged.

"BELLA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! GET DOWN HERE AND OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE!" Mike yelled. I growled again. I was so hoping that he could hear it. Rosalie got up, smiled warmly at me, and left the room, still cradling Renesmee. I heard her footsteps as she walked to the front door. She opened it.

"What?" she asked them, annoyance the only thing anyone could sense in her voice.

"You're not Bella," Mike accused.

"Oh my God, Mike. I can't believe you don't recognize me! Of course I'm Bella," Rosalie's voice was very dull, and very sarcastic.

"Whatever. Where's Bella? Why do you have her baby? OMG! Cullen's abusing her isn't he? Bella! Don't worry! I'm coming up there! CULLEN! You better stop abusing her!" Mike's yelled. He was trying to get past Rosalie.

"Wait! I have an idea! Rosalie, tell him to go to Edward's room! Give him directions! Everybody else, stay here!" I said, my voice normal so the vampires in this room and Rosalie would be able to hear. Alice's face went black, then a smile spread across her lips.

"Oh! This is going to be hilarious!" Alice said, trying to contain her laughter. I looked over at Edward and he was smiling down at me, his lips in a straight line, trying to contain his laughter as well. I shot up, grabbed his hand, and fled to his room. He sat down on his bed, pulling me down with him. I pulled his head closer to mine, until our lips were locked together in a passionate kiss. His hands wrapped around my waist, and mine locked around his neck, trying to get closer to him, if that was possible. One of his hands slid up the back of my shirt, and his fingers trailed down my spine. I heard Mike's approaching footsteps. I smiled against Edward's lips. Mike's footsteps were getting closer to Edward's door, as Edward's tongue traced my bottom lip, and I immediately granted access. Our tongues battled for dominance, thrashing against each other. Mike's footsteps were right outside of Edward's door now. He showed no hesitation, and threw the door open, resulting in it hitting the wall with a very audible "BANG!". Edward and I jumped apart immediately. I turned my head slowly, to glare at Mike's shocked face.

"NEWTON! WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?(A/N: I'm sorry. I just hate using swear words…)" I yelled at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "YOU CAN'T JUST BARGE INTO SOMEONE'S ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKING!" I turned to Edward. "I'm buying your freakin' door a freakin' lock," I told him sourly. He nodded while Mike a death glare. I got up, and walked over to Mike, Edward on my heels. I spun him around, and led him out the door, and down the stairs. Rosalie looked very annoyed, and I'm sure mine and Edward's expression mimicked hers. She looked at Mike's horror-struck face.

"I told you not to go up there," she sneered while I gave Mike one last shove toward the door. I held my hands out for Renesmee, and Rosalie handed her to me instantly.

"Wow," Eric breathed. "Bella?" he asked looked at me, drooling. Ew. He was drooling. I nodded, and leaned into Edward.

"Bella?" Tyler asked.

"What?" I asked, still putting on my irritated charade.

"Will you go out with me tonight?" he asked. My eyes narrowed to slits. I gave Renesmee to her father- that felt good to say. Edward. Her father- and walked over to Tyler. I bent down to his ear.

"Never," I whispered, and he shivered as my cold breath trickled down his neck. I turned around to walk back to Edward, but a sweaty hand wrapped around my arm, and jerked me back around. It was a very pathetic attempt, but as I was still supposed to be my weak human self, I spun around.

"What?" I asked Eric, my voice so close to acid.

"Bella, I know you love me! Go out with me tonight!" Eric pleaded. I looked down at his hand still around my am, my face full of disgust.

"Ew. Love you?" I asked him incredulously as he released my arm. I wiped it on my jeans. "And, if you still haven't figured out the answer to my question, it's 'No'," I told him. Edward suddenly growled. I turned to look at him, but another hand caught my arm, tugged me around (and this time I wasn't paying much attention so I didn't have to act), and then a pair of warm lips was on my own. Jessica, Tyler, and Eric gasped, while Edward growled furiously along with Rosalie. But before he had time to act, I lightly kicked Mike where the Sun don't shine, and he fell to the ground, groaning in pain. Well, to me I kicked lightly.

"Don't you ever do that again! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME YOU FREAKIN' NEWTON?!" I growled. My voice was now deadly with acid. Mike nodded. I ran back over to Edward, human speed of course, and took my baby back. Edward walked over to where Mike was, and crouched down so he was eye-level with him.

"Touch my girl again, and you'll be sorry she ever came into your life," Edward told him in a low, menacing, and dangerous voice before he stood back up, and walked back over to me. I cradled Renesmee in one arm, while I wrapped the other around Edward's neck and pulled his head down. Our lips met. I pulled away after a second, and cradled Renesmee in both arms again. Edward's arm wrapped around my waist, and I leaned into him. Carlisle then walked into the room.

"I think it would be best if you left, and don't bother us again," he said calmly, but I could still make out the anger radiating off of him, as if I'd inherited Jasper's power. They nodded, and while Jessica went to go get in the car, Tyler and Eric lifted Mike and carried him to the car. They drove away without another word. I really hoped that they would take Carlisle's advice, and that they wouldn't come back…

M-POV

Dang that girl can kick! But, no worries, Mike. She's just shy in showing her true feelings for you. She really just loves you.

A/N: Isn't he something? I'm gonna have to do something about dumb ole' Mike here. What do you suggest I do? Review! Hey! That rhymed…