Chapter 4

James tore out of Rocque Records and didn't stop until he was back at the Palm Woods, despite his head being in extreme pain. A tear slipped down his cheek, and he quickly brushed it off before anyone could notice. I can't believe I tried to hit Carlos, he thought to himself in dismay.

James was growing more and more confused with every outburst he had. He couldn't understand why these sudden outbursts were happening, and why they caused him to be so impulsive that he hurt the ones he loved, entirely by accident.

Pushing the door to 2J open, he tumbled inside and proceeded to barricade himself in his and Carlos' room, away from anyone who might try to talk to him.

/

Logan, Carlos, and Kendall could do nothing but stare after James, absolutely speechless.

"Did he just...?" Kendall asked in disbelief.

Logan managed a nod in return, unable to talk. James' behavior had rendered them all silent.

Gustavo broke the mold. "You dogs can go," he said uncertainly, waving towards the door. "And make sure Pretty Boy has it together tomorrow!" he bellowed after them, regaining his authority as the three dashed outside.

"James?" Logan called once they were on the street. "Where are you?"

"He probably went back home," Kendall suggested, looking around.

"It's a good place to start," Logan agreed, following Kendall's hurried pace towards the Palm Woods before turning back. "C'mon, Carlitos," he reassured, putting an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders.

Carlos was the most affected out of James' sudden outburst, and they all knew it. The youngest was close to a breakdown himself, but out of hurt, not rage. He could barely take a steady breath.

Logan steered him back home, trying to keep up with Kendall's frantic pace.

/

"James?" Kendall called, bursting through the door to 2J. "What happened?"

Logan and Carlos soon followed. "Is he here?" Logan asked.

"Not sure," Kendall replied, stepping further into the apartment to investigate.

"Our bedroom door is closed!" Carlos said abruptly, pointing towards the hall.

The three ran towards it and began pounding on the door. "James?" "James, open up, please!"

James could hear them from inside. Now calm, he felt no more rage, only shame for his actions. He didn't want to see his friends' faces. The hurt on Carlos' features would be etched into his mind forever, and he just couldn't face them now.

"James, please, we want to help! You're our best friend!"

Kendall's words tore through James' heart. He didn't want any help, no matter what he had told the others earlier, and what he had told himself. Truthfully, what kind of a man needs help? The soon to be eighteen year old couldn't handle his emotions? The last thing James wanted was daily therapy talks with Logan. Pathetic. Drama was for girls. Although I have been causing a lot lately, he thought.

But James knew that if he remained isolated for too long, his friends would get more concerned than ever, and would never leave him alone about this. So he opened the door.

"Gustavo's horrible," he said simply to the others.

His friends blinked. "We know, buddy," Logan said uncertainly at first. "You okay?"

"Fine," James answered lightly. "The guy just annoys me, that's all. I'm not his little dancing monkey. And if my head hurts, I'm gonna take a break. That's the point I wanted to make to him today, that's all."

Silence again.

James sighed. "Kendall, I'm sorry I shoved you. That was wrong, you were just trying to help. And Carlos," he turned towards the younger boy. "I'm really sorry. I never wanted to punch you, I-" James's voice cracked. "I just don't know what happened."

"I just want you to be okay, Jamie," Carlos' voice wavered. "Please."

James stepped forward to hug Carlos, who accepted lovingly. "I'm okay, buddy. I am."

Logan and Kendall joined in a four way hug. Things were okay again, for now. But the three couldn't help but wonder if James would have another outburst again. And how much more stress on the relationship all of them could take.

/

James went to bed early, which wasn't a surprise for the others. They were concerned, nonetheless, and Kendall decided to do something about it.

"Band meeting," he announced, once he was sure James was sleeping.

Carlos pulled his head out of the fridge. "Band meeting?"

"But James isn't here," Logan pointed out, looking up from his book.

"Exactly," Kendall said, plopping down on the couch. "That's what we're going to talk about."

Carlos shut the fridge and made his way over to sit next to Kendall. Logan shut his book and set it aside, all his attention now focused on their leader.

"Look, we all know James hasn't been acting himself recently," Kendall started.

The others nodded.

"And we know that as good friends, if he wants to be left alone, we have to respect that."

More nods.

"But," Kendall sighed. "I think enough is enough."

Silence. "What do you mean?" Logan asked cautiously.

"This isn't normal behavior for James. This isn't normal for anyone!" Kendall exclaimed. "And lets face it, it's not getting better. I think we need to be more forward with him."

"What does that mean?" Carlos asked.

"It means..." Logan said with realization, looking to Kendall.

The blonde confirmed it with a nod. "We have to get some answers out of James, or bust. Even if he ends up hating us all."