And finally, here we have our final character! I shan't jabber your head off this time, so read and enjoy!
The first thing Julia felt was pain. She couldn't quite figure out where exactly that pain was coming from for the first few moments, and was just about ready to dismiss it as nothing worth gaining consciousness for when she felt it again. This time, she knew it was a jab to her back. Someone was poking her.
"Y'think 'e's dead?" came a somewhat nasally voice from somewhere above her.
"Nah, can't be, she's still breathing, see?" came another voice, less nasal and more low-pitched, beside the first.
"But 'e's not gettin' up! I say 'e's dead, for sure."
"You're being more of a dumbass than usual, mate. Look, she moved!"
"Ey, we oughta check 'em for loot 'fore 'e wakes up."
Julia struggled to right herself but for some reason found this too difficult a task. She settled on getting into a sitting position and immediately her head swam. The feeling of disorientation was almost enough to knock her out cold again.
"Whaddaya know, 'e is alive after all!"
"'Course she's alive, that was obvious."
When Julia forced her eyes open, the world around her was dark. In the gloom, she could just vaguely make out two shapes above her, but her vision was blurry and her head ached terribly. Everything felt wrong. Something was terribly wrong here.
"Oi, bud, can you talk? Or are ya one of 'em ferals, eh?"
"F…" Julia tried to echo the word before realizing there was sand in her mouth. She coughed and spat it out, then tried to clear what was left on her tongue with a hand. But her hand wasn't a hand. It was a paw. A fluffy, soft, yellow paw.
"What...the fuck…?" She tried to stand up again, and realized what the problem was. Her legs were wrong. They were all bunched up and compact and, once again, fluffy and yellow. Her entire body was small. She wasn't a human anymore.
"...Y'think 'ere might be some'n wrong with 'em?"
Julia looked back up at the speaker and her eyes widened. Oh no. Oh fuck no. Flapping its wings to stay aloft, a zubat hovered above her. Beside it was a koffing, eyeing Julia with suspicion.
Talking pokémon. These were talking pokémon. And if that wasn't bad enough, Julia was also presumably a talking pokémon.
"You got brain damage or somethin'?" the koffing asked, moving in closer. "Or are all pikachus nuts like you?"
Julia had to fight to stay calm. Before her were a pair of pokémon who didn't exactly look like the friendliest of guys, and the way they loomed over her made her feel like they were deciding whether she was worth keeping conscious. If she made one wrong move, it was potentially lights-out for her. She had to play along.
"I...no, I was just a little...disoriented, y'know?" She rubbed the back of her head, uncomfortable with how fuzzy it felt. "Sorry, I must've been out quite a while."
She took that moment to observe her surroundings. As she had gathered from the sand in her mouth, she was on a beach of sorts that was lines with various rocky outcropping. To her left was the sea and to her right was a grove of trees. It was dark out - whether that was due to the time of day or the dark clouds overhead, she couldn't tell. Everything felt massive to her.
"Whaddaya doin' 'ere, anyway?" the zubat asked. "I haven't heard any pikachus 'round 'ere in, like, forever."
"I'm…" Discomfort turned into panic as Julia tried in vain to bring up any memories. "Shit, I, uh…" Her entire mind was a blank. She had nothing to fall back on. She couldn't even make up a backstory on the fly; how could she, when she had no idea where the hell she was and how this world functioned?
Before the zubat and koffing could get too suspicious, she admitted, "I can't actually...remember anything. I think I have amnesia."
She expected them to call her crazy or accuse her of lying, but the two merely turned to each other and exchanged looks. She didn't really understand how that worked, given that Zubat didn't appear to have eyes, but they seemed to pick up on whatever they were nonverbally communicating to each other.
"No memory, huh?" Koffing asked, giving her a sidelong look.
"Yes…?"
The corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "Tell me, Pikachu, what're you planning on doing with yourself? Where're you gonna go?"
Julia faltered. Those were some good questions she had no answers to. "I'm...not sure."
"It's a tough world out 'ere, y'know!" Zubat chimed in. "Lotsa real tough, real nasty pokémon who'd be happy t' take advantage of a poor pikachu who doesn' 'ave any memory."
"But I'm just thinking…" Koffing's smirk widened. "...we're real nice folks, see, and we wouldn't want nothing bad to happen to you. In exchange for a few small favours here and there, we'd be more than happy to take you in under our wings."
"Ey, Koffing, you ain't got wings!" Zubat said, beating his own wings a little harder for emphasis. Koffing heaved a sigh.
"How many times have I gotta tell you, mate, that's just an expression!"
"Yeah, well, we 'unno how smart 'e is, 'e might not know that!"
Julia frowned at them, trying to somehow pick up on their motives from what they were saying. There was something about their mannerisms that made them seem deeply untrustworthy, but she didn't know how much of a choice she had in the matter. They were offering to take care of her, which was more of a courtesy than other pokémon might offer. And they didn't exactly come across as being the brightest of bulbs. She might be able to figure out what caused her to turn into a pokémon and lose her memory without rousing their suspicions.
"So, whaddaya say, Pikachu?" Koffing asked, turning back to her. "We got a deal?"
"Sure, I accept," she replied. "I appreciate your generosity."
The two seemed taken aback, as if they hadn't actually expected her to agree. Koffing composed himself first and cleared his throat.
"Alright, well, now that that's done, we'd best head back over to the ol' cave. It'll be morning soon."
"Heck, we sure stayed up late, eh?" Zubat yawned. "Musta been that storm throwin' us all outta whack!"
"Storm?" Julia echoed.
"Yeah, real big, nasty storm the other day," Zubat explained. "All thundery and rainy, y'know? Was almost too scared t' leave the base!" After a moment, he added, "But I wasn' scared because that'd be real lame."
"Sure you weren't," Koffing scoffed, rolling his eyes. Turning to Julia, he said, "You just follow me, got it? The base is right around the corner."
He began to float off into the woods, Zubat in close pursuit, and Julia slowly set off after them. She got the feeling that what she was doing was wrong, but then again, this whole situation was wrong. She only had to stay with Koffing and Zubat until she had some idea about what happened to her and how she could reverse it. If she could. If she was stuck as a pokémon forever, what would she do? How could she live this lie for the rest of her life?
She shook her head. No, she was getting ahead of herself. There was no guarantee what would happen either way. She'd just have to take it all in stride and figure things out as they came. It would be alright.
For the second time in the same day, Julia woke up in pain. Her limbs felt horribly cramped up and she was pretty sure her backside was bruised. It was as if she'd slept on a cold stone floor all night.
When she'd forced herself up into a sitting position and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she realized that she had, in fact, been sleeping on a cold stone floor. She was in a dark, damp cave filled with long stalagmites and stalactites, as well as a faintly unpleasant smell. Squinting deeper into the cave, she could see a small stockpile of food, which made her suddenly realize how hungry she was. When was the last time she ate, anyways?
Julia arched her back in a stretch, then quietly walked over to the pile on her hind legs. Walking on all fours was a line she wasn't prepared to cross yet, even if it would rouse suspicion. She couldn't stand the thought of walking on the same paws she'd touch food with, and she prayed poor hygiene wouldn't be a problem in this world.
"Afternoon, Pikachu!"
Julia froze, paw halfway outstretched towards an apple, as Zubat fluttered down from wherever he'd been sleeping on the cave ceiling.
"Good afternoon," she responded cautiously. She'd somehow completely forgotten who she was rooming with here. "Hey, you wouldn't mind if I had a bite to eat here, would you?"
"Knock yerself out!" Zubat said. "But don' actually, cuz we'll need'ju later today."
She picked the apple off the pile and took a small bite before realizing that holy shit she was hungry. The whole thing was downed in a flash, and it took a measure of self-restraint to not immediately wolf down the rest of the pile.
"Geez, you musta been real starvin'!" Zubat flashed Julia a fanged grin. "Hope yer also hungry fer a bit of explorin'!"
Julia felt her ears perk up in interest. "Exploring? What do you mean by that?"
Zubat landed on the ground next to her and took a berry from the pile with a claw. "Oh, y'know." He shoved the berry in his mouth and chewed noisily. "Jusht goin' outh to mythtry gunjunsh 'n shtuff."
"I...didn't quite get that."
Swallowing his mouthful, Zubat said, "It goes like this, right: we all pick a dungeon, hang out there for th' night, 'n come home after, easy as pie!"
Julia sighed. This was going to get annoying fast. "I'm not exactly sure what you mean by 'dungeon'."
Zubat cocked his head sideways. "You sure ain't got a clue 'bout nothing, do ya?"
"I really don't remember a thing."
"Hmm...well, it's like…" Zubat tilted his ears forward, apparently deep in thought, then perked up. "Oh! I'll jus' get Koffing t'explain it, 'e's gotta real way with words, yaknow!" Without missing a beat, he turned his head back and yelled, "HEY KOFFING CAN YA COME 'ERE T'EXPLAIN A THING!"
There came the sound of muffled grumbling before Koffing tiredly rose up from behind a stalagmite. "You couldna lemme sleep a minute longer, mate?" he slurred.
"Sorry, Koffing!" Zubat said, his expression completely unapologetic. "But Pikachu 'ere's all confused 'bout myst'ry dungeons an' I thought you'd be best at 'splainin' 'em to 'em!"
Koffing looked at Julia accusingly, once again giving her the feeling that he was scrutinizing her worth. The expression was quickly replaced by a smirk and he floated over to join the other two by the food.
"I think it'd be best if we gave you the grand tour of the town," he said slowly. "Might as well start makin' yourself known 'round these parts."
"Well...alright." His inflections made him sound untrustworthy as hell, but Julia was beginning to suspect that was just the way he talked. "Are we heading out now, then?"
"Save the impatience for later," Koffing said, "I haven't even had breakfast yet!"
Julia raised her paws up defensively and backed away to let him eat in peace. With nothing better to do, she wandered away to look around the cave. She'd been so groggy when they'd led her in earlier that morning that she hadn't bothered to really check the place out.
A heap of stacked boulders near the elevated entrance served as a crude stairway out of the cave. Julia vaguely remembered stumbling down it and even now wondered if she'd be adept enough at using her new limbs to manoeuvre back up. In the opposite direction, cone-shaped rocky formations grew so thick and numerous that they formed a nearly-impenetrable wall save for a path that had been made through the stalagmites. Julia picked her way down the path to venture further into the cave.
It only took a few seconds of walking to reach a larger room that appeared to be the furthest part of the cavern. Here, stacks of golden coins and various trinkets were scattered about, and what Julia could only describe as a nest sat at the centre of it all. The nest, upon closer inspection, seemed to be made up of various furs and dried grasses. It looked like it would make for a lovely bed - if it didn't smell like something had died in it. The entire chamber had a distinct but somewhat faded reek, and Julia was quick to return to the main part of the cave, which smelled leagues better in comparison. Zubat and Koffing were muttering something to each other in hushed tones, but broke off as soon as they noticed the pikachu re-enter the room.
"Ready to go, Pikachu?" Koffing asked.
"Who sleeps back there?" Julia jerked her head back in the direction of the chamber. Zubat and Koffing exchanged a glance.
"Well, that'd be the boss's room," said Zubat, "but 'e's not 'ere right now. 'E'll be back any day now, so you'll get t' meet 'em soon." For some reason, he sounded a little reluctant when he spoke. Julia didn't bother to press further, however, and Zubat quickly shook it off.
"Anyway, let's show ya 'round town! If ya really don't know nothin', then you gotta lot t' learn!" He flew up above the boulder staircase and vanished from sight. Koffing gestured to Julia, then followed after. Julia hopped up onto the first boulder and was relieved at how easy it was to jump up such a large object. While she found it a little unnerving how quickly she was getting used to being a pikachu, she wasn't about to complain about a good thing, and she challenged herself to dash up the rest of the boulders as fast as she was able. She only stumbled a bit at the top, but it was minor enough that Koffing and Zubat didn't seem to notice.
The three headed back through the trees until they emerged back on the beach. The sun was bright overhead, the last remains of the stormclouds drifting far in the distance across the sea. In full daylight, the world seemed too vivid and blinding to Julia and she had to squint. She found herself feeling somewhat grateful that Zubat and Koffing apparently ran on a more nocturnal schedule. By the time they reached the small path heading away from the beach, her eyes had adjusted enough that she didn't have to squint quite as much and she was now able to take in her surroundings painlessly.
The first thing she picked up on, however, were the sounds. It was faint, but she could hear dozens of voices coming from up ahead. Her ears fell back against her head as though instinctively trying to block the noise. She assumed they were approaching the town, but it felt a little too loud. Confound those oversized pikachu ears.
The path eventually met three others at a crossroads. Ahead of them was a tall hill with a long, looming stairway leading up. To the right was a well-trodden path leading into the woods, and to the left was an even more well-trodden path leading into the sea of sound.
"We'll start by showin' you around the town," Koffing began, "then maybe we can squeeze in an assignment or two if we've got time."
Julia nodded wordlessly, her eyes flicking back up to the imposing stairway. Koffing followed her gaze and made a face.
"That's the Wigglytuff Guild up there. We'll tell you all about that later. C'mon, Pikachu, keep up." He turned and floated down the left path. Zubat went after him, but not before taking a moment to stick his tongue out at the hill. Julia shot another curious glance back in the direction of the guild before following.
The path wasn't very long and soon the woods opened up into a wide space cleared of trees. There, along a dirt road, were groups of colourful tents in the shapes of different pokémon. Each was manned by a pokémon, and other pokémon milled about, talking with each other or standing by the tents to, presumably, buy goods. It was noisy, but not so noisy that Julia couldn't stand it.
"Welcome to Treasure Town," Koffing said, floating in a semicircle around Julia as if making a sweeping movement to show off the surroundings. "It's kind of a dump, but it definitely ain't the worst I've seen." He chuckled. "At least it's an actual town with a real name."
Zubat sniggered at that. "Yeah, it ain't th' worst but ain't the best, neither!"
The two led Julia further into town. It appeared that the pokémon in the tents were offering services or items for sale, and while many were preoccupied with helping customers or checking their wares, some eyed Julia with curiosity. They didn't seem to be hostile, however; in fact, there was an overall positive, friendly atmosphere and Julia allowed herself to relax a little bit.
"That there's about the only shop you'll ever need to visit," Koffing said, nodding towards a kecleon-shaped tent run by - who would've guessed it - two kecleons, one coloured the normal green and the other an exotic purple. "They'll sell ya your basic apples and foodstuffs, but if you've got cash to spare, they sell more useful stuff, too." He leaned in closer to whisper in Julia's ear. "If you ask me, though, all their junk's hella overpriced."
Julia nodded, flashing a quick smile to the pair of shopkeeps, who waved amicably to her. The three eventually passed the last tent and emerged on the other side of the town. Past this point, the ground ahead gradually narrowed before tapering off into a cliff. Beyond that was the sea. Zubat and Koffing led Julia a little ways further before coming to a stop.
"That wasn't all that grand of a tour," Koffing said, "but you get the gist of it. Here you'll get most of whatchu need - if you've got the cash for it." His expression turned sour. "See, Pikachu, this world runs on coins. If you ain't got Poké, you got nothing, see?"
Julia nodded. "That makes sense."
"Sure it does. You gotta have some order to keep up society, yeah?"
"But er'ryone's a greedy dirtbag!" Zubat cut in angrily. "Like 'em shopkeeps? 'Ey price up 'em goods way high 'til it ain't even worth it! Ya might as well jus' go out to th' myst'ry dungeon 'em louts picked 'em up from and get 'em yerself!"
Koffing nodded. "Here's the problem, though: mystery dungeons ain't just your run-of-the mill forests or caves or whatnot. They're strange places where time and space don't work right. Every time you go in, the path to the end is different. It's enough to drive anyone mad, see?"
Julia was having a hard time getting that through her head. "So...they're like mazes?"
"Well, it's more complicated than that," Koffing said, "but yeah, they're kind of like mazes. But not only is it real easy to get lost in 'em, they're also full of ferals."
There was that word Julia had heard earlier. "What's a feral?"
Zubat answered that one for her. "That's what 'ey call pokémon that live in myst'ry dungeons, cuz 'ey're all crazy-like! 'Ey hunt'chu down even when yer jus' mindin' yer own damn business an' 'ey won't quit attackin' you 'til either 'ey're knocked out or you are!"
"'Course, all civilized pokémon were once ferals," Koffing added. "I mean, my family line's only a couple generations out of the dungeons, and I'll bet you anything those damn kecleon brothers in town are still secretly feral."
"Maybe 'at's why you lost yer memory, ey Pikachu?" Zubat suggested eagerly. "Yer brain decided to up 'n suppress 'em horrible memories?"
Julia offered a faint smile. "Hmm, maybe," she replied, not even entertaining the notion. "So, the problem is that to sell items for money, or acquire them for your own use, you have to go through one of these dangerous 'mystery dungeons'." She frowned. "So you can only hope to survive in this society by being strong or rich. That doesn't sound fair."
Koffing's eyes lit up and he nodded enthusiastically. "See, you get it! You ain't such a dumb pikachu, are ya? Most of the world seems fine with this whole system, but they don't see the injustice like those of us on the other end do!" He spoke a little hesitantly as he added, "Like, take me 'n Zubat 'ere. We ain't exactly...the strongest around, see? Two hits from your lowest-level feral, and we're out like a light."
"Heh, yeah," Zubat said, "an' light hurts us, too! Sorta, anyway. We sunburn real easy."
So that was why they slept through part of the day. "Then how do you guys get by?" Julia asked.
Koffing gave a sly smirk. "Now, here's where we get back at society, see? The biggest sham of all are the exploration teams. You go to some guild - like the Wigglytuff Guild - for a few years to give up nearly all your earnings to the fuckwads running the place, then come out knowing how to take money from hapless pokémon who need help gettin' outta dungeons."
Julia furrowed her brows. "...What?"
"Pokémon get lost or injured in mystery dungeons all the time," he explained, "and them or their loved ones send out rescue requests. Thing is, none of the teams will want to take the request if the job don't pay enough, see? They fill their bags with Poké while trampling on the helpless."
"Yeah, 'em teams suck, so we steal from 'em!" Zubat cut in brightly. Koffing whipped around to stare at him with a panicked expression.
"Sh-shut up!" he snapped. "I - I mean, it's - when you put it that way, of course it'd sound - look, they deserve it, alright? They're scummy an' jerks an' - "
Julia held up a paw, immediately silencing Koffing. "You don't have to try to justify yourselves to me. I've heard enough."
Zubat and Koffing shared an uneasy glance, and Julia caught Zubat mouth 'sorry' to his companion. She suddenly realized how her tone must have sounded and she laughed lightly.
"Oh, no, I didn't mean to freak you out," she said quickly. "No, what I meant was I get where you're coming from. If you want me around to help you out with this, I'm on your side."
"Phew!" Zubat sighed, looking relieved. "Fer a secon' there I thought I messed the whole thing up!"
Koffing nudged him warningly, but he too wore a look of relief. "So, how 'bout it, Pikachu? You ready to go on a 'mission'?"
Julia swallowed and nodded. Out of all the directions she'd expected to take after she woke up on that beach, becoming a thief was among the most remote possibilities. But if it was for the sake of giving a corrupt system the middle finger, she was fine with it.
"Ey, isn't this great, Koffing?" Zubat asked, grinning. "We got ourselves another teammate! An' I'll bet 'e's gonna be real strong, right, Pikachu?"
Julia laughed nervously. "Yeah, sure." She had no idea how powerful she would be in her new form, but she wasn't about to let them know. She'd just have to try to get used to being a pikachu as quickly as possible.
Koffing looked thoughtful. "Y'know, you could do better to match our colour aesthetic. Maybe we'll getchu a purple scarf or somethin'."
"What're you talkin' 'bout?" Zubat asked, cocking his head. "'E seems fine t' me."
"If you had eyes, you'd see what I mean. It's a travesty, y'know?" Koffing shook himself and continued, "Aw, let's forget about it for now. It's time we got to work." He gave Julia a mischievous grin. "Whaddaya say we pay the guild a little...visit?"
Julia did her best to match the expression. "I'm in. Let's do it."
It's Crime Time, baby! This was one of the big changes that drove me to rewrite this story, among other things (less edge, less romantic drama, less needless complications by way of), and I'm really excited to get to write characters differently this time! Also, Koffing and Zubat are two of my favourite PMD characters. Don't judge.
Anywho, updates are now every Friday, in case ya missed it, so I'll see you all in a week (or, again, in one click if you're reading this from the far-off future). Please drop a review if you enjoyed it or thought it sucked - reviews are the delicious fuel that keeps me going!
