AN: a lot of confusion on the last chapter as to what was going on but this chapter should clear things up for everyone I really loved writing it. It's short and this will have strong language, but the next chapter is in the works and I'll get it up ASAP. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: same as usual.
Chapt 4
Lanie finished and looked up at Kate, trying to gage what she was feeling but all she got was a blank face from her. "Well, Kate now do you understand why we've detached ourselves from you. It was your own words, you didn't want our company anymore. The boys got the same speech from Josh the day they brought you home from the hospital, they were so wounded when they helped you home and then shut the door in their face…how could you do this to us Kate? Kate?"
Kate was still just sitting there but what Lanie finally noticed was that she had clinched fists to her side and her face was starting to give off a reddish glow. "Kate, what's going on?" Lanie insisted.
Kate couldn't believe it, it was all becoming clear now, but she couldn't have imagined this. She was more angered than ever and all of a sudden slammed her fist on the table. "That lying bastard! I'm going to kill him! How could…." she bellowed.
Lanie was getting more perplexed by the second, what was going on here and why Kate was all of a sudden acting like this was beyond her. "Kate calm down, you're making a spectacle and I think the owners would hate to find out that a cop is trying to destroy public property. Also for the thousandth time today, you better tell me what's going on?"
Kate forced herself to take deep, calming breaths before she started to explain this whole mess that she was still putting together herself. "Lanie I promise I'm going to explain to you what's going on, but first I just want to say I'm sorry for everything that you and the guys went through. If I'd have known sooner…I'm really sorry." she validated to her friend. "Lanie I never wanted you to leave, Josh wasn't there when I woke up, I first saw him when I started physical therapy 2 weeks after the incident. He was lying, both to you and to me it seems. How could I have been so blind? I knew that he was getting too overprotective of me, not wanting me to return to work, keeping me in at night…not allowing me to see you all the time I was recovering. ARRRRRRRGGH I should've put two and two together, why did he do this to me, keeping the ones I cherish most away from me?!" her fury was growing by the minute and was not going to be accountable for her actions much longer. Yet, the biggest thing Kate was feeling was hurt and betrayal, she for the third time in a day lost control and bawling like a 5 year old little girl letting loose her sorrows.
Lanie was still for a very long time analyzing her friend's reaction to all that she just learned. All this time she, the boys, Castle were led to believe that their best friend had discarded their relationships, that she no longer care and became the Beckett that she once was all those years ago. Instead, she was manipulated, just as she the guys were; when she got her hands on that self-centered doctor…No girl, your friend is here now and she needs support, your support. Besides, you've missed having the only best girlfriend you have around to talk to. Face it, time to make amends apologize and get all the frustrations out in the open. She got up out of her seat and moved towards the sullen woman next to her, folding her in her embrace, assuring that she was ok. "Kate it's alright, it's not your fault, so stop berating yourself ok? If anything its Josh that should be explaining why he's acting like an asshole. If you don't deal with the guy, I would be glad to erase all evidence of his murder when the boys and Castle get done with him."
Upon hearing his name Kate's head snapped right back up, Oh no Castle, he said he loved me and Josh must've convinced him that I feel otherwise she thought that's why he's been absent from the precinct and why he won't contact me. Oh my God, how could Josh have done this? "Lanie please tell me where's Castle? I heard him Lanie! I heard his confession for me, Josh was wrong I do care for him, he's my partner, my friend…"the only one I trust with my life and my heart. Kate was really starting to lose herself in the pain and grief she was feeling "I have to know Lanie, what happened to him?" she was pleading the ME.
Lanie glanced at the floor, she couldn't forget the sight of Castle walking out of the hospital like a man whose heart was ripped from him as he was still breathing, and still carrying the anguish in the words the vain doctor revealed to them that day. "Sweetie, he's not the happy man that we're all used to anymore. After he left the hospital he went to a bar and drank all night. Ryan and Espo found him the next morning, sobered him up and brought him to me. I told him that if this was what you truly wanted, we had to respect that. He complied with this but ever since…he's been damaged, he hasn't written anything these past few months, and just eats, drinks, and sleeps most of the time. Most of the reason we rebuked you all that time Kate wasn't just because of the way you dumped us but because of the way your words affected Castle, especially after his confession to you."
Kate never felt so much pain in her life than in this moment, she never said anything to give Castle this heartache. Yet, because of her his fire for life seemed to whither and wane to nothing. How could she repair the damage that Josh has done to him, to them? "I have to see him Lanie, I have to tell him how I feel, that I heard him. I can't let him hurt anymore, I couldn't stand it if he believed that I don't give a damn about him, that I don't care about all the wonderful things he has done for me when really he didn't have to do anything. Lanie I have to set things right!" she revealed to her friend as she stood up and made her way to the door.
Lanie followed her and grabbed her shoulder "Kate, wait!" she turned the detective towards her. "I know you want to rush over there and explain this to him, but he isn't going to be happy to see you showing up at his door after everything that has happened."
Kate struggled "Lanie, I have to tell him and explain…" "I know" Lanie responded "and you will in time but I think you should question Josh on his motive for doing this to you, to all of us. We need all things cleared up in order to justify all this to Castle ok?"
Kate wanted to argue but Lanie was right, she needed answers and the hospital was where she was going to get them. "You're right Lanie, thank you for listening to me and letting me explain." Both woman hugged each other, they've got their friendship back. It was going to take time to get back to where they were before and it would take time for the wounds to heal. They broke apart from each other. "Alright Lanie, let's make a little visit to Dr. Davidson. He's got some explaining to do."
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