Emotional pain is worse than the physical
For the next few months Lydia was becoming increasingly pleasant and cheerful, Nott sensed something was off, therefore he decided to inflict a little pain on his wife, he didn't like the new spirit she possessed and wasn't afraid to fight back against him. Therefore when she arrived home from the luncheon for 'Deprived Orphans of the Sanctuary Service', ( which Draco and Lydia privately called Draco's Organised Sex Sessions) she had started attending around Christmas and was there for most of the afternoon.
"Lydia, I've decided to have the Mr and Mrs Malfoy over for dinner on Saturday evening."
"What? Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass?" Lydia questioned hesitantly, fiddling absent-mindedly with an imaginary piece of fluff on her trousers.
"Yes, of course, but isn't she Astoria Malfoy now?" Theo maliciously drove the knife into her heart and twisting to inflict maximum pain possible, trying to regain his quiet submissive wife once more. Lydia straightened tilting her hard lower jaw out defiantly, looking up to Nott, with her face millimetres from his chin.
"She never changed her surname, it wasn't hers to take" Lydia spat angrily, and then on heel she turned and slammed upstairs to her private study. Trying to scrawl a warning owl to her lover as quickly as possible, her body slumped and she sat with her head in her hands. For the next three days Lydia sat on the floor in her dressing room glancing up at her many rails of dresses utterly confused what to wear. Lydia spent all Friday at the spa, having treatments: manicure, pedicure, massage and a facial, then all of Saturday getting ready. The guests had arrived and Nott was greeting them; she glanced at herself in her floor length crystal Venetian mirror and was pleased with what she saw. Her hair was pinned up intricately in little diamond pins with two loose curls framing her face. The dress was simple but beautiful, floor length emerald green silk, and then dipped low and was backless and reminded Lydia of the dress she wore to the Yule Ball with Draco. She wore a deep red lipstick which stood out from what was otherwise subtle makeup, she opened the third drawer of the dressing table and took out a small bottle of vodka she pressed it to her scarlet mouth and downed it in one go, she was going to need all of her courage tonight. As she descended the staircase which was less grand than the one at Malfoy Manor, all eyes turned to her. Nott smiled wolfishly, eating her with his eyes, the plastic smile was once again swathed her features.
"Here is my lovely wife, looking wonderful as ever." Theo remarked this time aiming to wound Draco, Nott never complimented Lydia usually therefore he had a motive. Theo grabbed her neck and smothered her in a suffocating kiss, violating her mouth with his tongue roughly which was both repulsive and unnecessary. Astoria stood haughtily examining their abode calculatingly a regal expression on her face, she looked down on Lydia with her smaller house and less valuable husband but also the feelings Draco kept for her in a box under their bed, sometimes he would get out the box and look at all of their possibilities, present and past but every time Draco looked into the box, Astoria watched a part of her husband die as it became harder and harder for him to close the lid.
Astoria was wearing a sapphire blue gown which plunged into a neckline that was dangerously deep cut resting onto the protruding breastbone on her pale, bony and otherwise emaciated frame, and a long loop of diamonds covering the exposed flesh. Lydia smiled falsely and forced polite conversation with the woman who stole from her the love of her life, they took to the dining room which was lavishly decorated but was nothing when compared to the extravagance of Malfoy Manor. They sat at the table which was much too long on chairs that were far too heavy. Lydia was done with pureblood society; she would give anything to be a mudblood. But she was trapped in her life with no window or other opportunity for escape. The elves served the far-too-rich set menu for the evening which Nott had chosen, indifferent to his wife's allergy to walnuts which he had chosen to be the sauce to go with the dragon sirloin. It wasn't that Theo was forgetful or not considerate, he was trying to punish his wife; giving her a painful evening, a woman she disliked, the man she loved at a distance, the evening with her husband who she spent no time with because she hated him so fiercely and even food that she couldn't eat. Theo was punishing her for standing up to him occasionally, being happy, pleasant and unknowingly for the affair she was taking part in, with the man who was now in his house...
Quietly Lydia watched her dinner only making small talk when absolutely necessary, she took sneaky glances at Draco across the table from where he sat across from her and occasionally their eyes would meet, Nott had taken the head of the table immediately and Astoria -despite all of her years of etiquette lessons- rudely pushed and took the other table end so that she could rest her skinny arms on the rests and peer into both the sitting room and study looking for any signs of a possible scandal that she could spread about Lydia, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't find one. Lydia sat pushing around her inedible dinner with her fork when she felt a leather clad foot running up her leg; she jumped so high Astoria looked at her strangely. After mumbling something about hiccups she glanced up at Draco through her lashes, he was gazing at her intently smiling dazedly; she slipped her foot out of her stilettos and ran it up his trouser leg, trying not to smile like a fool.
Suddenly there was a flash of green in the fireplace as Blaise Zabini apparated in, Nott glared up questioningly, there was a goblin strike and as the Head of Magical Law Enforcement Theo was called back into work to deal with the situation. There was an awkward silence and Lydia jerked her foot back into her shoe embarrassed, then there was a faint tapping over and over incessantly, Lydia opened the dining room window and a little tawny owl was hopping up and down determinedly presenting its right leg. She removed the haphazardly tied on letter, and in a stylish curling script was Astoria's name. Lydia handed the redheaded witch her envelope, which was quickly snatched out of her hands.
Astoria's older sister Daphne had recently married a Belgian wizard by the name of Hubert Van der Delfosse; he was a tall wizard with very short cropped curly ebony hair and piercing blue eyes, he was terribly good looking and was from a long line of the finest Belgian purebloods, the problem was though that Hubert didn't speak a word of English and Daphne didn't have the foggiest about Dutch (another lovely arranged marriage). Furthermore they now lived in Bruges in a large house and the letter said that a very pregnant Daphne had just gone into labour. Astoria just flooed out from the dining room fireplace and Draco clued Lydia in as to what was going on. They sat in silence for a little while just watching each other.
"Let's get something you can eat." Draco suggested kindly, smirking as her offered her his hand. "How does he not know that you are allergic to walnuts?"
"He knows." Lydia simply sighed quietly. "I don't even know why he's doing this. What have I done to be punished?"
"I'll take you away from this Lydia" Draco murmured determinedly, raw emotion thickening his voice. "If I hadn't pushed you away... It was always to protect you...But if I had been selfish, and like every other day thought only about myself I would have you, this is entirely my fault." Draco whispered regretfully, leaning his head against her temple and closing his eyes, to block out the woman whose face he was missing out on waking up next to every single day. "What if I got a time turner? Then we could change everything." He became optimistic and thoughtful.
"We cannot use a time turner as we have created too much history since that night and we could alter significant events, you cannot use a time turner more than twenty four hours after the event you want to alter." Lydia quotes with her encyclopdia like knowledge. "I do not resent you my love for your choices, everything you did was for the right reasons you did what was right over what was easy which makes you so much more perfect. I do sometimes think about what could have been, but I love you and would die for you, never ever forget that."
Draco leant down and captured Lydia's lips with his own, moulding them together they fit perfectly together like the pieces of her broken heart and gradually Draco was gluing them back together. They kissed as passionately as ever, relishing in each other and the love they harboured, they shed their clothing as though their skin was on fire, the forbidden lovers didn't even make it up the stairs only over to the sofa.
For a few moments they just held each other, until Lydia shrieked and threw herself off Draco's chest and began throwing on her clothes.
"Draco, the wards have been infiltrated. Theo is home, we have protective enchantments so you cannot apparated out of or into the house, that's why he flooed. He's outside the gates and I can't find my bloody knickers."She shrilled panic-stricken.
"Go without" Draco growled irritated that his cuddling session was interrupted; he zipped up the emerald dress as he was already dressed and remembered that she hadn't been wearing a bra, even now still impressed and turned Draco on bizarrely. They sat on opposite sofas making over-polite forced small-talk about honeymoons and holiday locations, when Nott arrived through the front door. Theo stuck out his chin conceitedly and planted himself on the settee beside Draco.
"Where's Astoria?" he questioned suspiciously, as though the two of them had tied her up, gagged her and locked her in the cellar, of course it had already crossed Lydia's mind to do so. But unfortunately she was yet to have such a pleasant opportunity.
"She had to leave for Belgium to be with Daphne who went into labour earlier. Isn't that lovely? Lydia asked in an excessively eager voice.
"I wasn't talking to you." Nott sneered rudely. "Of course it was some mudblood at the Ministry, who was incapable with dealing with the simplest task, they aren't even worthy of magic and shouldn't be indulged. Don't you agree Draco?" Nott was now in a good mood on his favourite topic, of his bigoted archaic opinions on blood purity. Draco however, for the first time in his existence was uncomfortable on the topic and glanced around nervously, and the silence was deafening. Nott lost interest in Draco, he thought he was just being a snob who couldn't be arsed to answer him, Theo fidgeted on the overstuffed settee and felt his palm brush something soft, he glanced down and what he saw displeased him immensely, the facial expression he bore was not unlike Lucius Malfoy.
"Lydia, leave us." Nott said quietly, but the menace in his voice frightened her. She didn't know what was wrong with him and with wide eyes left the room and went to her bedroom, knowing that she would be in immense trouble if Theo heard her listening in.
Nott rose from his seat, and so Draco did too, his grey eyes focused on the small lacy thong clasped between Nott's index finger and thumb. Draco knew that whatever was to come was not good.
"How long have you been having an affair with my wife Malfoy?" Nott said in a dangerously low voice. Draco didn't say a word, his face an impassive blank. "HOW LONG?" Nott shouted suddenly making Draco jump wincing.
"Not long enough." Draco replied vaguely, desperately trying to think of a way to protect Lydia, but he couldn't think of any plans at all.
"Let put it this way for you Malfoy, you will leave her alone and never see her again, this pathetic, disgusting little affair of yours ends now. Don't you think you've hurt her enough? Save her the pain of when you eventually fuck up." Nott spat maliciously yet feigning as though protecting his wife.
"Don't pretend to care about Lydia, you don't give a toss!" Draco exclaimed, "Purebloods have had affairs for centuries, everyone knows about you and your secretary Nott. Why not let her enjoy some part of her life? But you won't because you're a cruel git. I will not stop fighting for her; I lost her once I won't lose her again. I love her and you cannot stop me."Draco spat in Nott's face, his rage was consuming him and he was verging on using Muggle violence and punching the twat.
"Yes Malfoy, you will leave her alone." Nott stated calmly, shoving Draco back onto the couch "as if you don't I will divorce her, she will lose the shred of pureblood credibility she has left. She will officially be cast out and will be valued lower than a Weasley; you know I don't bluff Draco. Oh and Malfoy, she will hate you for it when she is living in a gutter and you are too ashamed to be with her, only the woman caught is punished, not the man. You know this to be true Draco. Now what will you do to cover this up and protect her?"
"Anything" Draco whispered tersely, examining the floor in detail.
"Good boy." Nott laughed coldly "How about an unbreakable vow?"
Lydia heard the latch being pulled on the front door after what seemed like hours of shouting, Lydia knew that Nott must have somehow worked them out, they could never just end it. Draco and she had always loved each other a little too much. She ran with all the strength she had and she flung herself into Draco's arms, held her for just a moment and then roughly pushed her away. Confusion clouded her features, feeling burned she recoiled. Draco shrugged nonchalantly; he walked out of the front door allowing it to slam shut in his wake. A horrible feeling of déjà vu crept into Lydia's system, she turned and fled her stilettos clicking ferociously, she reached the ostentatious marble staircase when a hand seized her elbow, roughly throwing her back to face Nott, as he quickly backhanded her across the face as hard as he could. Lydia crumpled in a layer of emerald silk, for a moment Nott thought he had broken her neck, but then a groan emerged from the limp girl collapsed onto the stairs. She was fearful and dazed she turned slowly back wincing to receive another heavy hit, this time a punch to the nose.
"I'll never leave him" Lydia rasped weakly, "I love Draco, I always have you bastard, and I hate you." She spat passionately, some of her old Gryffindor courage returned and from somewhere she found the strength to fight.
"You stupid bitch, he doesn't want you now I threatened to tell his wife and Draco can't leave her. Didn't Malfoy tell you she was pregnant? He always wanted someone with a little more grace and dignity than you; you were just a mistress, a fling. The wife always comes first; I think you just were easy an shag whilst Astoria was hormonal. I bet he said he loved you as well, you are stupider than I thought." Nott ripped into her aiming to wound with a mixture of lies and truths; he would not be disrespected like this by his own wife.
"You will not disrespect me like this, ever again. You're little affair is over and you are a disgrace you Lydia, also are lucky that I am so forgiving."
"You have to earn respect Theo" Nott rolled his eyes, grabbing his wife by the hair.
"Filthy whore" he snarled hurling Lydia to the floor and throwing the offending underwear at her, and with another kick to her stomach and pull of her hair, he stepped over Lydia coughing, gagging and rasping for oxygen, and continued to undress and get into bed.
Lydia didn't move from her position sprawled across the foot of the staircase painfully for a few hours, her lip was spilt and nose broken, her coiffed her had fallen down in tatters and a clump of it lay on the marble from where she had been grabbed. She looked at herself in her scarlet smeared emerald gown and began to wonder: was magic worth this? Or should she have let her father snap her wand long ago? Gradually she began to agonisingly stand up and walked back to that special couch. She didn't regret a moment. With her wand she put her nose back into place, biting back the screams of pain as it cracked back into place. Lydia stood again and limped to the downstairs cloakroom and hissing sponged the blood out of her scalp and off her face, but it was too painful and fruitless, there was too much to sponge away. The stairs would cause too much pain to contemplate so she turned on the downstairs shower and stepped in, not bothering to undress. She collapsed sobbing into the base of the shower; she curled up holding her knees crying into the wet tiles. Her makeup smeared down her face, her hair was sodden in her eyes and dress ruined, but she didn't care, none of it mattered anymore. She had lost him again. She howled like a lone wolf, deep guttural animalistic screams of sheer agony emerged from the base of her throat as to when her life became so fucked up. She punched the floor until her knuckles were split and bleeding, but she had no one left who cared, Draco had been the last. Her family pushed away all of her true friends, but Lydia helped too, nobody wants to befriend a carcass.
However Draco had seen everything Nott had done from the window and was pained as to what had become of her she had lost herself, she no longer even had the strength to fight back, and Draco blamed himself entirely. Her personality was gone too, she used to have so much strength and fight, cheer and laughter she had been a little selfish and stubborn and conceited and a little to gullible and naive but Draco had loved all those flaws just as much as he had adored her radiance. He had to lose her again, to protect her. Draco never ever learnt from his mistakes. Idiot. Nothing worth having ever comes easy.
