Okay just a reminder here – Bold Italic mean Hichigo. When the Hollow is in control the narration is bold is his.
The narration slips between Ichigo and Hichigo during the latter part of this chapter. Kleenex Warnings apply – I needed several writing this today.
There is no need to wait, I can set my own timetable. I pushed everything off the kitchen worktop and open the map I'd found. "Shit, this is way to big." I say finding it hard to keep the whole thing open to see. I take the edge and rip along the seams only keeping the bit I wanted.
I let out a curse as I wobble on my tired legs and I grip the worktop to stop myself falling over. I did notice the red seeping through my bandages, that dog did a good damn number on my wrist. I should probably rest before going, give it chance to heal a bit. But then this map...its a long way.
Well I won't use my arm a lot driving and I can always stop after an hour or so and rest. "Nah, fuck it, I'm going." After this run of bad luck I hope a chance in scenery might change my luck too.
I throw down four painkillers and swallow them dry before one last look...I step over the broken glass that let snow into the house and bent down at the side of the snow covered mounds showing where my family lay.
"I'll come back when the weather gets warmer. Love ya all." I place both by palms down closing my eyes trying to stem back the tears of loss I feel again. If my mother left a void as large as she did, losing the idiotic man that was my dad and the twins left a vast crater too. Loneliness had been the hardest thing to deal with left here. It would have been so much simpler to have broken into that gun shop and just ended it. But I couldn't. What was the point? I'd get there soon enough. I had to figure out how to stop those dogs first. My worst fear was the dogs. I did not want to be eaten, dead or not, I DID not want to be eaten.
Ichigo? Hichigo called me as I sat watching the red drip slowly from my arm into the white snow beneath my palms. It was fascinating...morbid but fascinating.
"I know. I'm moving." I push myself to my feet and walk dripping a trail towards the front of the house. I'll grab more bandages and wrap my wrist tighter first.
You need to warm up a bit. A sleep wouldn't hurt. Just an hour, I'll wake you.
"You didn't warn me about the dogs. Why should I listen to you?" I stand at the van door pondering his idea, God damn it, can't I even think straight now?
I was watching the snow...It really is beautiful.
"Yeah." I stood feeling like I had to get this off my chest. It felt important to get this clear now before I set off. "Promise me something."
If I can.
I wince at a flash of Inoue's armless body with gaping wounds in her torso and cheek. "Don't ever let the dogs eat me."
Its way too much beating the shit out of them for that! I got ya back you know that.
...
"You have to get rid of him!" Renji hissed under his breath as they followed Byakuya through the gardens.
"How do I do that?!" She hissed back jabbing him with her elbow.
"What supplies do you have ready?" Byakuya was tired of pretending he could not hear them. "I have asked Isshin to bring the medical items we may require. Kurotsuchi has lent communication devices for us all and I have prepared some maps so that we may search the area methodically."
"Your coming with us?" Renji's suprise fell from his mouth.
"Is that a surprise?" He turned and looked at them.
"Nii-Sama? You never told me what went on between you too." Rukia dared to ask her brother.
"He left. Anything else is rather pointless now." What point was there in old thoughts and feelings? He couldn't let himself get his hopes too high that Ichigo had survived somehow. If he still felt anything for me, surely he would have returned?
"But if..." Renji went on mouth ahead of brain as usual and Byakuya cut him short.
"Right now, my mission is helping a father find his son." He finished his sentence as they stepped into the lit small courtyard that their private Kuchiki Senkaimon stood waiting for them. Isshin was striding anxiously up and down the pathways waiting, a back pack ready on his back and his now greying hair testament to his last years of worry.
...
I found the snow easy to drive on, as it was relatively fresh and unspoilt, the tyres ploughed easily onwards. The townscape turned quickly into flat white fields and pretty white statues of trees and hedges. I admired the scenes and enjoyed the feeling of warmth begin to float around the cab as the heater blasted out.
This change was good. I knew I had made the right decision, it had been too long since I left the town. Somehow seeing the abandoned cars and bodies of strangers was easier to deal with than those back home. At home I was always left with thoughts of, if I have ever spoken to them before, or if my dad had ever treated them. The further I drove from the town the less bodily remains I saw. Remote areas were the most peaceful where I found even less bodies left behind. The wildlife had stripped most smaller villages clean before moving on for their next meal.
Had I not been feeling so ill, I would have stopped at the buildings giving in to my curiosity at what was in inside. I'd seen inside more museums and grand mansions in the past five years than I did in the entire rest of my life. Tonight I knew however, that if I stopped, I wouldn't have the energy to get back to my journey. I was reliant on the heat in the van, the puddle of blood at my feet was not going to enter my concious. I was not going to worry that I hadn't stopped bleeding.
..
The light was fading fast as the group looked around the old Kurosaki home. Byakuya was in the clinic, Isshin upstairs, Rukia and Renji were downstairs.
"You idiot Renji. There is dust UNDER the cans, there is no mould on the can on the floor and the blood on these windows is too fresh a colour. Outside, who do you think buried the bodies? Three bodies?"
"There's more blood outside." Renji frowned making his way out to the mounds. "This is fresh." He said touching the red stain. It was still too red, preserved by the snow where as the blood on the doors had browned.
"How do we know its his?" Rukia asked.
"I'd say these were his hand prints wouldn't you?" He looked over his shoulder at Rukia leaning over him to look down.
"He's hurt his right hand or arm then."
"Yeah and there's a trail." He pointed towards the side gate out the garden.
"He's been here!" Isshin came running down the stairs clutching the strands of red hair Ichigo had cut off.
"And he's injured." Renji pointed to the blood trail.
"He's alive... On my god he's alive!"
"Considering we are all dead, I don't know that's such a great thing!" Renji said scratching his neck.
"Isshin?" Byakuya came through with the debris he found in the surgery. "What is this?"
"Tetnus...empty bandage packets. He's tried to treat himself at least. All we need now is to know where he is."
"We could follow that trail first." Renji suggested. Withouth saying a word further, they all found themselves at the road where the trail stopped at the tyre marks.
"He's mobile. That means he could be quite a distance." Renji noted aloud. Rukia shook her head. That damn boy always gave her a headache. Couldn't he just sit tight and wait for them?
"There was a map in the kitchen." Rukia said dipping back into the house.
They all stood in the kitchen looking at the map when they heard a sound in the garden. Byakuya turned with speed sword in hand to investigate and looked down at the growling dog baring its teeth at the blood in the snow.
"I think I know how he was injured." He said returning to the team studying the map.
...
Ichigo!
I jolted awake as the tyres of the van veered way too close to the edge of the road and a stationary car. The first one I'd seen for miles. I shook my head and slapped my face hard. Wake up Ichigo, wake up.
You need to rest. How long do you plan to drive for? This is suicide. Just pull over and sleep!
"I'll be all right when I get south."
You'll be dead by then at this rate. You haven't eaten anything and you've lost too much blood. Pull over you need to rest...Ichigo!
I swerved again. God that damn Hollow he was right. My eyes looked out into the almost darkness and I struggle to keep them open. I see something. Just a silhouette, but its a farm house and that meant somewhere more comfortable than the van. Before I get chance to think where the drive might be, the steering wheel jars in my hands as we hit something hidden in the snow. I scream in pain as it jars my wrist and we bump none to prettily off the road and into a tree. My head and chest slammed forward into the dashboard and I curse my poor luck. It was as if the fates didn't want me to go any further. More blood slides down from my brow and I can only sit there too damn fucking beyond it to care now. I should just sit here and let my bones turn to ice and slip away into oblivion. Did Shinigami even prowl these area's to give me a soul burial? Nah it would be just my luck to be left on this godforsaken place as a soul for eternity. If I get reborn again, I won't be Japanese will I? Would I still have red hair and end up with the people I love? What happened to them?
Inoue? Are you here? I look around the cab and just see her shredded arm. I scream and frantically fight my way from the cab falling into the snow with a thud on my backside.
Hey? Finished freaking out yet?
"Hichigo? Get me to the farm house...please...I don't think I can do it." It was all too hard now, just too hard.
Why'd you only call on me when your sorry ass needs saving?
"Please." The cold was biting into me again and I began shivering as I felt my legs working without my control. I didn't phase out but just watched as a bystander as Hichigo grabbed some supplies from the van and began wading through the thigh deep snow.
I always have to save his dumb ass from near death. Its even colder out here than it is in there with that never ending rain. I walk on wading his legs through this freezing snow for once in my life however getting really scared. He's been bad before, near death before...but this cold isn't even making him shiver now. I can feel death seeping up on him quicker than it ever had. If that dog hadn't got the better of his stupid hallucinations then he would have got over that stomach bug. As it is, I can't feel anything left in reserve now and even I'm struggling with getting his body to do what I want.
I get him to the house he doesn't even know or care that he's not getting control back. Is he that far gone? I should feel guilty that I didn't notice that dog too, but...I never knew that guilt would feel like this. I never knew how much 'I' want him to live. Stupid kid.
Like most places we go they're not locked. The old habitants never had chance and what would be the point? I open the door to this old place and smell some animal already...not dogs though, he'd freak again at that...I make my way into the lounge feeling the energy really sapping out him so much so I can feel myself getting light headed. The trail of blood is following me. I see a sofa and sit Ichigo down, my hands don't want to cooperate as I try and unzip the bag I carried. I pull out a can opener and a tin of sweet looking cherries, I figured the sugar would do him good. I put the can opener on the top of the tin trying to open the can, but the stupid can opener slips off again and again until I throw it in anger across the room. THIS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE! I rummage again and find a packet. Just some sweets, but its got to be better than nothing. The packet gives way to my anger and shreds under the force, throwing the sweets everywhere. I scramble on the floor and shove a handful into Ichigo's mouth. Tiredness creeps even further in and its the tiredness that I'd fought all these to avoid. Death. Come on sweets, digest a bit. Just let him have some energy to scare it away...I can't help it, I lay down on the sofa and pull his knees up to his chest.
I see movement in the corner of the room, but the darkness almost shadows it out. Sadly he sees it too.
"Is it a dog?" His quiet voice sounds scared to me.
"It would have attacked us."
"Make it go away."
"Wait...Its a cat." We watch the creature slink slowly towards us, its a living thing that doesn't want to eat us and that's a relief. A living thing that rubs against my outstretched hand and lets me stroke it. I can hear it purr loudly and feel Ichigo smile. God he smiled... I slide the control back to him for that, he deserves it.
"Hichigo. Don't leave me." I watched the black cat rub against my hand that won't move anymore. Neither of us can make it move now. We're just too far gone.
"I won't."
The cat jumps on the sofa and snuggles up close its purring is so loud and I felt an insane kind of euphoria that someone is pleased to see me. But my eyes begin to close... So tired...
"Hichigo?" I want him here, I want someone here with me. Fear is something I do these days and today it feels really bad. That cat at least feels warm against my chest.
Still here.
"She's dead isn't she?"
Who? Inoue? I nod. Yeah.
"Am I dying too?" The cat licks my face at the blood and seems to look at my arm... I watch it curious as it looks at my face and drops it's head. Carefully it nuzzles my cheek and slides in closer to me as if trying to prove that it wants to be here with me, that I'm not as alone as I feel.
Do you want to?
"I've had enough now."
You didn't want to go back to the bastards in Soul Society.
"Didn't I? I don't remember that."
No. They let everyone die remember?
"I'm so cold."
I can take you to Hueco Mundo instead?
"But...No. Not there... Don't let the dogs get me." I'm crying and I can't stop. "I wish I could just see them one last time."
Who?
"Inoue, my sisters..." So tired... "Yuzu, Karin..." So cold... "Byakuya..." So so tired... "My Dad."
Ichigo! I scream into the darkness. There's darkness inside too now. Darkness creeping in on us too quickly. " Ichi, there's someone here! Wake up!" I scream aloud yet his eyes close and I feel that loneliness creep in. I'm scared. "ICHIGO!"
"Let me sleep." His eyes opened slightly.
"ICHIGO!" I scream again and his eyes blink... I thrust control back as quick as I can.
"Dad?" I look at the face staring down at me. Am I really seeing him? I cry again. I can't even reach out now, my body won't move at all.
"Ichigo." Isshin stroked Ichigo's hair and knew he'd found him too late. One look and he knew it.
"I wish you were real." Ichigo whispered his energy fading.
His eyes close and control comes to me whether I wanted it or not. There isn't anyone else to take it.
I open his eyes and his dad looks at me and knows. My voice is so different from Ichigo's and yet his dad still stays stroking our orange hair. "He's gone." I say. Isshin nods and lets his tears fall. "He didn't want to be alone any more." My voice breaks and I see the others move into my line of sight. "You were all too late."
"Where is his soul?" Rukia and her damn coldness. The bitch. Who does she think I am?
"He's tired. Dead tired...YOU BASTARDS." I swear out my anger and suddenly I'm crying too. "Please don't leave him here, take his body. He didn't want the dogs to get his body." My voice breaks and there isn't any energy left inside this blood and flesh vessel any more, I can't hold out any longer.
My eyes close and the tiredness makes me lay beside Ichigo.
I pull him into my arms and we sleep together.
