Okay. Update time. If anyone is uncomfortable with me adding Harry's self-harm, do drop me a comment. I truly don't wish to offend anyone! Also, I don't know if I'm actually going to include a rape scene. I thought I could write but I truly don't think I can.


Chapter 4: Help and Hormones

'Nobody can find Harry.'

'There's not many places he can be Remus, he'll show up.'

'And if he doesn't?'

Laney was still and quiet. Overhearing people had become quite the bad habit but she wasn't doing it on purpose. Had this been a normal day, she simply would have barged in, announced her presence and flopped onto the sofa and stared at the ceiling for a while. But this wasn't a normal day. She had waited for her dad, who hadn't ended up showing up at lunchtime so she'd simply slipped out of her quarters and going to her last lesson. She'd decided to stay in her dormitory. It wasn't unusual; she would normally alternate between days, staying in her room in Snape's quarters and some days staying in her dorm in Slytherin.

She had just coincidentally picked today to stay in her dorm. She was terrified, truthfully. Everybody had asked her what her dad had said to her and what was her punishment and 'That stupid Michaela bitch deserved it' and so on. Laney would have been a complete coward and stayed in her dorms all day to avoid her father but she'd left her potions book in her quarters, and for the next day she had work due. She just knew Snape would kill her if it wasn't handed in, so here she was, trying to sneak as stealthily as possible to her room to slip her book out and sneak back out.

However, it would seem fate was not on her side.

Just as she was going to open her door, her foot tripped over the table leg and she shrieked as she fell onto the floor. The murmuring stopped completely and she cursed. Snape and Lupin came sweeping out, eyes coming to rest on Laney who was sprawled ungracefully on her back. Sitting up, she gave them both a weak smile.

'Hi?' Snape pointed towards the chair (that was never a good sign, sitting in that chair always meant trouble) and in a bleak neutral voice said, 'Sit.' Laney groaned internally. Not even anger or whispered fury. Blank nothingness. That was even worse. And creepy.

'Dad I can explain, it was-' Snape cut her off.

'No. I don't want to hear it Laney.'

'But I-'

'Shut up. Now. I'm absolutely sick of this appalling attitude lately.' Laneys mouth dropped open in outrage.

'Apallaing attitude? Appalling attitude?!' She snapped.

'Don't you take that tone with me!' He snarled.

'TAKE WHAT TONE?!' She seethed. 'I come home. I do my work. I read books. I try so hard to do every single goddamn thing right. I can't sleep at night. I'm tired in the morning. Get that dad? Tired, angry, annoyed, irritable. Sound familiar? Hmm I wonder what side of the family I got that from?' She cocked her head sarcastically.

For a second, Snape was about to start screeching. Everybody knew how ugly his temper could be, but even Laney could rival his anger. Lupin but his hand on Snapes shoulder and Snape shut his mouth and tried hard to compose himself.

He took a breath and started again.

'You will go to your room. You will stay in there for the rest of this month, go out for school and school only. You can forget about having your broom for the rest of this week.' Laney's shoulders drooped. She stared at the floor miserably in silence.

'Go.' She walked to her room and slammed the door shut behind her. Lupin sighed.

'You could have been easier on her Severus, that broomstick's her life.' He didn't answer. 'You didn't even let her explain.'

'I'm sorry, I was under the impression she was my daughter Lupin, not yours.' Lupin sighed in frustration.

'You don't get to take your bad mood out on me Snape.' He said, gritting his teeth. He turned around to walk and Snape caught his arm, to which Lupin jerked it back out.

'What?'

'I…apologise. It was uncalled for. She's just being incredibly difficult right now.' Lupin scoffed showing no sympathy.

'Maybe you should listen to her when she talks. Stop trying to overrule her. Stop trying to 'assert your authority'. She's not a student. She's your daughter. Hear her out for Gods sake.'

'And what would you know about being a parent?' Snape spitefully. As soon as he said it he regretted it. Lupins face dropped. Snape knew more than anything Lupin wanted to be a parent to Laney. Snape was the one who asked him to take it slow. Snape was the one who insisted they keep their a relationship a secret…only for a while apparently. Lupin hated it when Snape was too hard on Laney, Lupin would have been the reasonable parent. Snape just didn't know how Laney would take it. A 'cookie baking mother' was always what Laney had in mind. And Lupin was far from it.

'Well I suppose you're right. I wouldn't know because you won't let me. Because you're too afraid. Too ashamed of me aren't you?' He turned back around to leave.

'Don't. Don't go, I'm sorry. I know how much you want to be her parent. That was disgusting of me. I'm truly sorry.' Snape said. But of course, as a Snape he conveyed no emotion whatsoever and for Lupin it just came across as an insincere apology.

'Maybe you should stop trying to fix your screw ups between us and start trying to fix the relationship between your daughter. Yes,your daughter.' He said scathingly and left. Snape sighed. When did Lupin suddenly become an emotional hormonal teenage wreck desperate for love and affection?

Snapes hand hovered over Laney's door handle but he hesitated, perhaps it would be better if he left this until tomorrow? Yes. That would be better. Let her calm down. He turned around, satisfied with his decision to leave her be until she opened her door.

She looked up at him in disgust and went to close her door again.

'Don't.'

She looked up at him in shock.

'Come on Laney, let's talk about this.'

'No.'

'Come on Laney, darling don't be unreasonable.' Laneys eyes were flaming with rage.

'You want to talk to me? About being unreasonable? Oh you are impossible.' She snapped. She walked back into her room and sat on her bed, Snape followed.

'Why did you do it?'

'I was having a bad day.'

'That's not a good enough excuse.'

'Well give me a minute, I'm sure I'll think of one up to your standards.' Snape sighed, frustrated.

'What did she do?'

'Why does it matter. It's not good enough to 'excuse my actions' anyway.'

A moment of slience.

'Do you think I'm being too harsh on you?'

'You're always too harsh.' She muttered. That hurt. Snape always tried to be fair, yes sometimes his bad temper got the best of him and he took it out on her but it was purely accidentally and in the heat of the moment. He would never, could never hurt her intentionally. She was everything to him.

'I don't mean to be.' He said, trying to be patient.

'Yes you do. I'm never good enough. I'm never going to be good enough for you.' She snapped grouchily. Snape reached forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

'Don't you ever speak like that again you hear me. You're perfect just the way you are and everything you do, you do to an excellent standard, you're a Snape remember?' And just like that the mood was lifted. Laney smiled in his shoulder. Snape smiled (shocking) fondly at her. He stood up, slightly uncomfortable, (Displays of affection weren't really his thing) and cleared his throat.

'Shouldn't you be in bed?'

'It's 7pm dad.'

'Did you think you were going to get out of punishment? I appreciate I was harsh with the grounding and the confiscation of you broom for a week. So for the next fortnight, your bedtime is 8pm.' Laney smashed her face into her pillow and groaned, annoyed.

'But DaaaaAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaaaad.' She whined.

'And you can apologise to Michaela Dawn as well.'

'Absolutely not.'

Snape smirked as he walked out; he honestly hadn't expected her to. That was the Slytherin in her.


He wandered aimlessly through the corridors. He didn't care about where he was going, just so long as no one found him.

Nobody cares enough to look for you anyway, Harry thought to himself bitterly. He ignored the part of his mind that snapped at him to stop being so stupid. But Harry couldn't help pitying himself. He had tried to be brave. He had tried to put up a strong façade. But it was so exhausting. He thought the lies would come easy. He thought they would all be so easy to fool. So how was it they had all seen right through it?

They all saw right through it and didn't bother to help.

But Ron had tried hadn't he? Ron had tried to help, had asked him what he'd been doing in the bathroom. The thought made Harry's mind race. He wasn't ready for that. He wouldn't ever be ready for people to know, how weak, spineless and useless the boy who lived really was.

He was so consumed in his ruthless thoughts he didn't even notice when Lupin walked across the corridor, until he stood right in front of him.

'Harry.' He sounded relieved. Harry didn't run this time. Instead he followed Lupin as he walked into his classroom. He sat on the front desk and stared straight ahead of him. Calm and blank. Face devoid of all emotion.

'Harry. What is happening to you?' He didn't yell. He wasn't angry or accusing in the slightest. He was soft just like Ron. Oh so caring. For poor pitiful potter. Harry slammed his fists on the desk, anger overwhelming him.

'Nothing.' He snarled.

'Don't. Don't say that. You're so unhappy. Do you think we don't see it? Do you think we don't all see how sad you are. How completely….broken you are inside?' Harry scoffed.

'Yes that's what I am, broken. Completely broken. Because obviously I'm some kind of rag doll.' He said sarcastically.

'Stop. Stop saying that. Stop doing that. I'm absolutely sick sick sick of you pushing everybody away. Why can't you just let someone be there for you? Isolating yourself isn't the way, just let us in Harry. Let us help you!' Lupin exclaimed. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration; he almost didn't catch Harry's soft words.

'Maybe I don't want to be helped.' Lupin froze. His heart plummeted. Surely Harry wasn't that far gone? No. He wouldn't believe it. Even if Harry had fallen off the wall and broken into a million pieces, he wouldn't stop until he fixed him back together again.

'I don't believe that even for a second.' He said fiercely. 'I don't believe that there isn't some little part of you yearning for love. Yearning to be loved and to feel loved. No one is ever content with unhappiness. Maybe you learn to survive it but no one is ever happy with it. Nobody plans to sleep in the gutter, that's sometimes the most comfortable place and I understand that Harry. But you don't have to sleep in the gutter. You can get help. You can let me help you. Please let us help you.'

Harry looked up, tears shining in his eyes and what was that, a glint of hope?

'No more sleeping in the gutter?' He whispered.

'No more sleeping in the gutter.' Lupin promised.


I'm sorry if this is so crap. This was more like a filler chapter. I'm still trying to figure out a decent plotline. I don't know whether to completely delete this story because I'm really not too sure if I like the direction it's going in. Thanks for supporting me guys! Review please! I'm really really sorry if it feels like the story is dragging or I'm being too slow. The next update will probably be a lot longer to wait for because I'm desperately trying to come up with a decent plotline. I really hope this was okay. Still looking for a Beta! Thanks for reading and please review! Also, I'm sorry if it feels like I'm not getting an equal balance between Lupin/Snape, Laney and Harry. I'll try my hardest to get this fic going in the future.