When Carol arrived the next morning for breakfast Daryl was already at the table waiting. She noted that he seemed to be getting the hang of the early morning and daily routine pretty quickly. They had headed home from the party not long after she had left him outside the night before. Carol could tell he was ready to go but didn't want to spoil everyone else's fun by asking. The only one upset about leaving was Andre, who had found a cute blonde to dance with.
They were the first ones to arrive that morning and Theresa was still working on food in the kitchen so Carol took her usual seat. "I wanna ride again today," were the first words out of Daryl's mouth as she sat down.
Carol narrowed her eyes, "are you sure?" She was skeptical. "It might be better to give it another day so your… muscles… can recover," Carol said, with the hint of a smile.
"No really, I'm ready. That shit Cal gave me is like some miracle cure or something," Daryl replied eagerly. "I want to ride today. I mean, unless you have other work you need me to do," he added, realizing he was coming on strong.
Carol was happy that he enjoyed riding enough to want to get back out there so soon, but she couldn't help but wonder if maybe it was more the company than the actual riding itself. The thought of spending more time alone with him was a bit unnerving and Carol felt her stomach flip flop. Stop, she thought, you're going riding, that's all. "No it's fine, we can go again after morning chores are finished if the storms hold off." They were calling for thunderstorms late in the afternoon, but Carol figured they should have enough time for a quick ride before they rolled in.
The morning passed quickly as usual and after lunch she took Daryl to the stables and taught him how to saddle up Pookie. Carol walked him through all the steps but made him do it himself. Once they had both horses saddled up she gave him a quick lesson on mounting. When Daryl got on the horse this time he looked far less awkward and Carol smiled. She loved how he was such a quick study.
They started out slowly and Carol gave him pointers. "My first tip is to make sure you're sitting back in the saddle. Too far forward and you're going to…" Carol blushed a bit but finished, "squish your nuts."
"Yeah, definitely don't want to go doing that again," Daryl muttered, adjusting his position in the saddle.
Carol had him increase his pace to a slow trot as they put distance between themselves and the farm. They were a good ways out before Daryl finally admitted he was hurting, sort of. "Umm, any chance we could walk for a bit?" he asked.
"Sore?" Carol teased him.
Daryl gave her a half grin, "Don't say 'I told you so.'"
"I would never say that," Carol said coyly. "But I'm thinking it," she added with a laugh, stopping Cherokee and sliding off. She pet the horse gently and scratched her nose lovingly. They both held the reins and started walking with their horses. After a few minutes of silent walking Carol spoke, "Any chance you changed your mind about coming to church tomorrow?"
"Oh hell no," Daryl said. "I ain't never been to church and I don't plan on starting now," he said bitterly. Carol sensed that there was a good reason Daryl had such an aversion to God, though she wasn't sure if he would ever tell her. Daryl didn't seem like the type to share much about himself but Carol also sensed that he may never have had anyone he could talk to. "'sides, I don't have no church kind of clothes." The fact that he added that last bit made Carol smile, but she looked away to hide it from him. It told her he had considered going, at least for a second.
When she looked away Carol noticed the looming darkness off to the west. "Oh shit, there's no way we'll making it back before that," she said, directing Daryl's attention towards the black sky.
"Woah, that's come up fast," Daryl said with a look of surprise.
Mother Nature replied with a deep grumble of thunder and Carol stopped Cherokee, patting her calmly. "Come on, get back on and follow me," Carol said, mounting the horse. "Pookie is usually pretty good with storms, but Cherokee is not." She looked at him as the wind picked up. "I'll try not to go too fast, but that storm will be on us any minute."
"Where are we…." Daryl started to say, but she took off before he could finish. Cherokee wanted to run and Carol struggled to hold her to a pace that Daryl could keep up with safely. They had built a storm shelter nearby for situations like the one they were in. Storms came up quick and they needed a safe place to stable the horses and get out of the weather until it passed.
Carol turned in the saddle to look back at Daryl just as another crack of thunder boomed. She wasn't prepared when Cherokee spooked and reared up. Carol struggled to grab something, anything to avoid falling off, but it was too late and her grip on the reins slipped away. She hit the ground with a thud and Cherokee bolted. "Fuck," Carol shouted, jumping to her feet.
She ran towards Daryl and pulled herself up into the saddle, in front of him, taking the reins. "Feet in the stirrups," she ordered him. "Stand, keep your ass off the saddle, lean forward and hold on to me." That was all the instruction she gave before giving Pookie a kick and taking off after the other horse.
Daryl had his arms wrapped around her and seemed fairly secure and they galloped as fast as she could push the horse. They were quickly gaining on Cherokee Rose. They closed the gap even more when the thunder rolled and the horse reared up again. "When we get close enough I'm gonna reach for the reins, you'll need to take over Pookie again," Carol shouted over her shoulder. They approached the other horse and Carol circled around in front of it. They got lucky, really lucky. Cherokee froze and Carol was able to just slide off Pookie and grab the reins.
She took several deep breaths and grabbed the bridle, pulling the horse's nose down and resting her cheek on it. "It's okay baby girl," she whispered, soothing her for a minute.
Carol jumped back into the saddle, making sure to have a tight grip this time. She was incredibly embarrassed and angry with herself for what happened. She hadn't been knocked off a horse since she was a little girl. "Come on," she said gruffly to Daryl. Leading them to the shelter as the rain started to pelt down.
They made it to the stable without incident and led the horses inside. They put each horse in its own stall and Carol gave them some food before finally taking a seat on a bale in the main room beside Daryl. "That was fucking awesome," he said, looking at her with awe.
"No, it wasn't," she shot back angrily.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Daryl mumbled. "I didn't mean… I just… the way you took off like that and got her back… I…"
Carol sighed, "I'm sorry. It's okay. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." She felt awful for being so snippy with him. "It's just, well… I was careless. I knew she spooks in storms and I wasn't careful enough. I'm mad at myself. I know this sounds stupid," Carol said, looking shyly at her hands. "But that horse is my best friend. Buying her was the only good thing Ed did for me," Carol added, unable to hide the spiteful angry tone when she said his name. "Other than dying…" she whispered.
When the tears stung her eyes Carol knew it was going to be one shitty day. She hadn't spoke his name in a long time because even saying it infuriated her. On a good day she could fight the tears, focus on something else, remind herself she was a different person and move on. But she was already angry with herself for falling off the horse, and then for snapping at Daryl, and now for crying. It was one big fucked up mess in her head.
"I'm sorry," Carol apologized again. "I cry when I get mad."
Daryl hesitated, then spoke in a low voice, "I am not good at this kind of shit and I won't have a fucking clue what to say, but if you feel like talking I can listen."
"You wouldn't understand," she muttered without thinking. Carol didn't even realize how insensitive her response was until she saw the look of hurt on his face. She didn't mean to do anything but spare him from having to listen to her baggage, but instead she hurt him again.
Daryl stood, he was angry. Rightfully so, she thought. "I know you look at me and see a kid," Daryl started, voice raised. "But I am not a fucking child. I'm not a kid, I'm not a boy. I haven't been any of those things since my brother moved out of the house when I was 12 and my daddy found a new play thing to pick on." His blue eyes flashed. "I grew up in a hurry. No one has ever done anything for me since my mama died when she burned our house to the ground."
Carol felt horrible for being such an insensitive jerk. "Daryl…"
But he wasn't finished, "So no, I've never ate home cooked meals, I've never had a family, no one has ever bought me a cake and celebrated my birthday… and I sure as hell won't waste time with God when he's never helped me one fucking bit."
Carol had no idea what to say so she did the only thing she could think to do. She stood up and she hugged him. Daryl resisted, but only for a second. Carol rested her head against his chest and she could feel his heart pounding. Eventually he put his arms around her too and they comforted each other. Carol felt tears roll down her cheek as she cried not only for herself, but for him too because she knew he wouldn't.
When they finally parted neither of them spoke for a long time. They both knew that conversation was over, at least for the time being. Carol hated awkward silence so she changed the subject. "So it's the 4th of July in 3 more days. We usually have a big BBQ. Invite some neighbors over and set off some fireworks at night."
Daryl looked at her strangely. "Wait, today is July 1st?" Carol nodded. "Hmm, I must have had my dates mixed up," he muttered.
"Is something wrong?" Carol asked.
Daryl smiled at her, "Nope, not at all. But I almost missed my birthday."
"Almost?" Carol asked. "You mean… today?"
"If today is the 1st," Daryl replied.
"Oh my God, well happy birthday!" she said excitedly. "We need to tell Theresa when we get back, she makes the most amazing cakes."
"Oh no, I don't need no cake. It's no big deal, just another day," Daryl tried to brush it off.
Carol once again saw that he couldn't stand people making a fuss over him. She was stuck between wanting to give him a special birthday like he'd never had before, and wanting to respect his need to keep things low key. She made a silent vow to figure out a way to do both.
"Sounds like the storm is over," Carol said, peeking out the doors. The sun was out again as if the storm had never happened. They saddled up the horses and headed back to the farm.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
When Daryl went to his room that night he saw something on his nightstand. There was a single cupcake with white frosting and a messy happy face in red icing. He grinned, picked it up and ate it in 2 bites. It was the first birthday cake Daryl had since he was 5 years old.
