Title: On the Edge
Author: Samsara Amaranth
Summary: Apparently death doesn't give you a reprieve from having an unruly sibling. Rebirth. Laws defying physics. A twin brother with a demon stuck in his gut having a penchant for running smack dab into trouble. And don't even get me started about the goddamn prophecy... Is it even a wonder I am teetering on the edge? SI/OC as Naruto's twin sister.
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me in any way or form. Neither am I making any profit from it.
Arc One: The Orphanage
Chapter Three: The Orphanage
Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts. –William S. Burroughs
The incident was dubbed as 'Sealing of Uzumaki heritage' in my mind. Well that was what actually happened. Instead of being fraternal twin of Naruto, I looked like his identical twin. My face remained the same, if it changed, I couldn't guess due to all the baby fat. The shade of my eyes and hair instead of being 'all Kushina' turned into 'all Minato.'
Days passed by quickly and I came to terms with my new appearance hesitantly. Honestly, I was thrown off the loop.
For a while, I was still in a suspended state of disbelief of how easy it was for the people of this new world to change the entire genetic make-up and appearance of an individual with a few brush strokes. Yes, there are intricacies involved in the art of sealing but as compared to all the gene transplanting and all that genetic mojo that too only during formation of the foetus, was merely being considered, when I last lived. And there wasn't any other method short of plastic surgery for the permanent transfiguration of looks…
I don't think I'd ever stop feeling surprised in this world. Like I said, difficult to change a lifetime of mentality.
Months had passed since that incident and Naruto and I turned three when we were moved in with the other children in the orphanage.
The matrons didn't physically abuse us. We were neglected, treated coldly and for a child that summed up to mental abuse as generally, children need constant attention. Naruto was definitely an attention-demanding kid. Ostracizing us turned it worse. I wonder if this was why he developed such a loud personality in the future. My presence helped. I am sure of that. But it wasn't enough. It was a bitter thought to swallow. That I wouldn't be enough for him, that unlike myself who was completely dependent on him for my will to live it wasn't the same for him. That he would need others, needed them to be happy, normal. How did I come to that realization?
It became soon obvious. Naruto dimmed in his intensity as the children took on following the matrons' behaviour. They weren't at fault, I know. They were just mimicking what their elders did in order to gain approval and stay accepted, but it wasn't right and no matter their mental or physical age I couldn't let it go nor forgive them for causing my baby such sadness. He tried hard but listening to him sob silently at night, wondering what he did wrong was heartbreaking. Wondering what a kid did wrong at his age, pondering upon his existence wasn't something a child should have to do!
It made me grit my teeth in anger. It made me want to lash out these stupid people. How dare they act so ungrateful when my brother was deemed to sacrifice himself by making his body act as a container to an entity? Instead of worshipping him like they should they made him curl upon himself and made him cry his little heart out? I couldn't forgive them… No matter their ignorance, age, them being civilians or any other excuse.
My baby brother was my priority. I didn't have any attention or affection to spare for these worthless people. He may crave their acceptance, forgive them for all the wrongs they did to him but I won't ever forget. They were ignorant, unimportant and it made me feel a twisted happiness at knowing they weren't ever mentioned nor acclaimed important in the future that was going to come.
Was I a bad person? I don't know according to others, I might be… I don't think I can classify things into white and black or good or bad anymore… After all, it was all about perception and mine is definitely out of whack.
Our ANBU guards disappeared. Seemingly… I imagined I caught a flicker of familiar chakra at nights when I tried to go in the deep recesses of my mind and failed. Failing to go into my mindscape started happened more frequently. I noticed the days when I was bitterer when I fumed or festered negative emotions I couldn't go in. It made sense in a way. Recalling the concept of Occumulency from a well-read series and a certain Professor's words to 'Clear the mind' made me think of the similarities of it.
And those days when I couldn't go, my next day was worse, I got exhausted more quickly and then came a day when I was too emotionally wrung out to feel anymore and I fell into a deep sleep and amidst it, I found myself there again. Naruto got worried so I did my best to prevent it.
Meditation helped but I still cannot control my emotions especially on those days when the children hit my brother and were excused as playing or kids being kids.
That's not to say I was treated well. It was more or less, the same. 'The demon and the demon's sister' was what they whispered. I tried to shield my brother the best I could but I couldn't say how much success I achieved. Naruto was getting good at putting up a brave front and laughing along. It made me upset to think how much of the canon Naruto's personality was shaped as a front due to his harsh life and how different would have been his original one if he would've been provided with the normal upbringing or whatever was the criteria for normal in this world? Would he have been like 'Menma'?
No use in losing myself in the thoughts of what could've been. We were provided strictly adequate enough food, we weren't physically abused nor starved unless you count the other kids being cruel. I guess I shouldn't complain. Because it wasn't as worse as it was imagined by the fans in the before. I was glad for that but that didn't make me any less furious at the psychological abuse being heaped on a little child, that too, one I was strongly attached to.
We never saw the kind old matron lady that had gotten attached to Naruto in our early years again.
It had almost been a year since we moved to the orphanage. The bond between me and my baby twin grew stronger. There were times when he tried to be the brave boy and protect his sister and tried to hold up his emotions while I marvelled at his maturity and development in the past two years. But then there were those moments were he wailed his tiny heart out and covered us with snot and tears hugging me till he exhausted himself to sleep. These were the moments when I felt the most helpless.
We used words now. I learned the complex language that was spoken here in the second year of my life that was carefully monitored by the ANBU and my babbling made Naruto grasp it faster too. I cannot describe the pride I felt when he called me 'Nagi nee chan' in his adorable baby accent. I don't know which one of us was younger physically, perhaps I was since I felt my nudgy thing leave the warm homey place before me but I cannot be sure. Yet being the mental age I was it was astute of him to address me as the older one.
Sometimes though I feel like his mother, the emotions I feel when he glances at me beaming in triumph and accomplishment of learning a new word, finishing a new puzzle, learning to run were priceless and endless. I wouldn't know, I never got the chance to be one. One more thing to lament about my lost life. But those were endless too and unless I wanted myself to drown in my mournful, miserable 'what I should've experienced in my last life' thoughts I'd better avoid them.
Then came the day when everything changed again. It was October 10. Naruto's fourth birthday. The day when we were both turning four and our parents' death anniversaries. And also the countless nameless people that died during the attack of the nine-tails…
The day began normally except for the tighter hug we shared.
"Happy Birthday nee chan!" Naruto laughed excitedly. "Happy Birthday Ruto…"I murmured back planting four kisses on his forehead for the years of our physical life to which he giggled happily. It was adorable.
It was a solemn day for others and also the day when loathing for us was an all-time high. I wasn't careful enough. The last two birthdays were spent with our ANBU caretakers so we were entirely safe… I didn't need to worry about the matrons', the children or mobs is there were any. Even now we rarely got out of the orphanage and if we did it was nearby places that too in a crowd of children that hid us sufficiently.
I didn't foresee this coming. I had a vague notion of wanting to be more alert but then I decided not to leave our room and eased up a bit. Naruto often sensed my mood and behaved accordingly. I didn't want him to spend his fourth birthday with full of unneeded paranoia.
All of the matrons' treated us coldly except there were moments of warmth that shone through. It occurred frequently in one such matron. She was young, perhaps in her mid-twenties with a pleasant face and pretty brown eyes and dark hair. I noticed her treating us warmly from time to time and relaxed a little around her.
She took us in the kitchen and sang a soft little birthday song for us. It felt pleasant to ease the paranoia and act like my physical age as I smiled and Naruto grinned so wide I feared it would leave a permanent imprint on his face.
Softly carding her fingers through our hair she provided us with a small birthday cake. It looked delicious. It was a soft pink with chocolate sprinkles on it. She cut the cake neatly into four equal pieces and offered it to us warmly, "It is fine, I made it myself! Happy Birthday to you both…"
It was the tastiest thing I had in this lifetime. I could see Naruto gobbling down the two pieces whilst I finished my first one. As he looked at mine with his sad puppy eyes, I shook my finger and remarked teasingly, "Na-ah, you will get fat if you eat this too!"
"Will not! But since it is nee chan's you must have it, I won't eat it!" he pouted.
The matron laughed and took us back to our room, "Eat it up, okay? And don't tell anyone, it would be both bad both for me and you…It will be our little secret." she smiled with a finger against her lips.
Naruto nodded delightedly and I melted inside. Instead of eating it I placed it inside a box and kept it neatly in a corner to give it to him as an evening dessert.
'I have had my share of wonderful birthday cakes. Let Naruto have this slice.' I mused to myself forlornly.
I thanked the matron silently again. At least Naruto got to have a normal birthday cake for the first time. He was a little wary of her at first but then calmed down in her presence. I too let my guard down.
We played till the afternoon. No one came to check on us neither were we let out. Perhaps it was for the better as no one would accuse us, especially the grievers. But the evening worried me. What were we going to do about today's dinner? In the morning we were provided to by the kind matron lady… 'I really need to find out her name.'
I was feeling a little tired and Naruto looked the same if not a bit more energised. 'Huh strange, Naruto is a lot more energetic than me and he doesn't get tired so easily…' I thought to myself as black spots started appearing in my vision.
Alarm bells started ringing in my head as I lost the motor control of my body and collapsed. 'I should have taken Naruto's wariness as a warning instead of a sign of being unable to accept kindness,' the thought and Naruto's screams of 'Nee chan' were the last, I heard before the world went black and I was engulfed in the strange darkness.
Word Count: 2097
Author's Note: Yet again apologies for the late update... Thank you for your enthusiastic response, especially the reviews! The Academy arc begins in a chapter or two!
Happy Halloween!
-Samsara
