Kurt was a horrible person. There was no other explanation for what he was doing to this boy; the boy who was kissing him slowly, reassuringly. The boy that didn't know that this would be the last time they kissed. Part of him had already detached himself from the situation, but the larger part was heart-broken.

As Blaine's hands pulled him onto his hips, making Kurt straddle the other boy's waist, something in him shattered. He was torn between needing this last beautiful moment to go on forever and needing it to end before he lost the rest of himself. How could he love Blaine so much and it still not be enough? Why was it inevitable that Blaine was going to get hurt?

Soon, Blaine's fingers were laced across his lower back and their hips started to move on their own accord into a familiar rhythm. Kurt wanted very much to look into Blaine's eyes, commit every hazel fleck into memory, but part of him was scared that Blaine would see through him. Kurt needed this and so did Blaine, for very different reasons.

"Blaine, I love you," Kurt whispered with conviction, as Blaine removed his shirt and ran calloused, muscular fingers up and down his sides, humming in appreciation.

"I love you too, baby." Blaine said plainly as he lay back. He brought Kurt down to lay next to him and started to undo the button on his own pants. Kurt took this as a sign to remove his own clothing. Once they were both completely naked, he pulled Blaine flush against him from knee to nose and breathed in the scent that was so distinctly Blaine.

Kurt remembered fleetingly how he'd slept with one of Blaine's sweat shirts his senior year while he was at McKinley. The scent had once calmed him. Now, he had to hold back tears.

His revelry ended when he felt Blaine's fingers wrap around him shyly. How could Blaine still be so timid after everything they'd been through? How could he contain himself so perfectly? It was quite ironic. The very first crack in their relationship had been due to Blaine's lack of control and now his stoic control was going to be their end.

As an afterthought, he reached over and grasped Blaine firmly, just like he knew Blaine liked and began to stroke him. They kissed and damn it all if that kiss didn't still feel like home.

Kurt didn't know how he was going to do this. Even as he felt Blaine shuddering and gasping his completion, he didn't know if he could come. Again, a battle raged within him. The part of him that wanted to hold onto this no matter what, was on the edge and ready to come. The part of him that knew, deep down, that he needed more, wanted it to never end. Yes, it seemed backwards, but if he was going to stay, this wouldn't be their last time. If, as he already knew, he was leaving, he wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as possible.

As he felt Blaine's hand gently cup and caress his balls, he knew it was over. He was coming and crying and he felt like, maybe he was bleeding. He chastised himself for being so over dramatic, but it really felt like he was physically wounded.

Blaine's whispers and fingers softly caressing his cheek did not help. It was then that he realized Blaine was wiping away his tears and shushing him quietly.

"What's wrong, love? Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?" Blaine's voice was reassuring and caring. It felt like one more stab to his already wound ridden chest.

He felt, again, like he had to be the worst person in the world.

"I'm sorry, Blaine. I- I've made up my mind." The finality of his tone made Blaine stiffen immediately.

Their eyes met and Kurt knew that Blaine would see how positively horrid he was. How much he hated himself for this but also how much he needed it. Very quickly, Blaine removed himself from their bed and ran to the bathroom to grab a towel.

While Blaine was gone, it really sunk in for Kurt, what he had just done. Thoughts don't hurt people, actions do. The hypothetical situation in which Blaine was hurt didn't come close to preparing Kurt for the actuality; for the pain and anger in Blaine's eyes.

Blaine returned with a towel and threw it at Kurt with not nearly as much force as Kurt had prepared himself for.

"This is really what you want?" Blaine asked resolutely.

"I have no idea what I want Blaine, but I know that what I need, it isn't here. I tried so hard because I love you. I'll always love you, but it's not enough to erase everything that's missing. I'm so sorry." I finished lamely.

He watched as Blaine fidgeted with the corner of their blanket.

"There- there isn't anyone else is there?" he asked softly as if he was ashamed to think it, but had to say it.

"No. That's not what this is about." Kurt said as he grabbed Blaine's hand and squeezed reassuringly.

"I could never do that to you. I wager I'll be on my own for a while after this. There are so many things I want to do and this is the perfect opportunity to focus on them and school." He paused for a moment and chose his words very carefully.

"I hope that, someday, you'll find someone who can do for you what you did for me. I wouldn't be who I am today without you. I- I hope you find the person that heals you." Kurt was crying again because he wanted to be that person so badly.

"Thank you, ba- Kurt." Blaine retracted his hand and stood, looking around the room fleetingly before grabbing his clothes.

"I'll put in a moving request on Monday." Blaine nodded and left the room swiftly, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I am the worst person ever." Kurt said to himself out loud.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who added this to their alerts and to the reviewers. You all make my day. And thank god for fanfiction because its so much cheaper than therapy. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are love.