Day 02 - 12/24/2015


Diary entry: I have labeled the previous day as 'Day 01' and today is 'Day 02'. Officially, today was my first working day, but because I am here since yesterday - plus it was my birthday - today feels much more like 'Day 02'. It makes keeping my diary easier.


I sit at Jaden's desk while I write up all of yesterday's happenings into the notebook Ishizu gifted me. Writing so much is unusual for me, I am used to a keyboard and not to the pencil. But it is fun, I like it. My hand hurts so I am taking breaks and look outside the window. The streets are busy, they always are, but it is a different kind of activity. Yesterday night they were filled with drunk people and junkies. It was loud and flashy. Today I see a lot of people with luggage, hurrying to and from the central station. Now, during daytime, the world here seems less dangerous, less exciting. Sleepy.

Tomorrow is Christmas. I will get no presents - heck I didn't got any for yesterday, besides the diary. Well, I didn't tell anyone here it was my birthday, I didn't feel like they would care. Jaden told me, he'd be here in about an hour, to show me the strip club and my tasks. I have to stay here, after all.

When I woke up at noon, I was confused. Cold. The heater stopped working during my sleep. Jaden told me to turn it off, wait for half an hour and try it again when this happens. But I had let it on during the night and it wasn't working at all even after I did what Jaden told me. Great. I have to ask him what to do.
My anger from yesterday is gone. I wrote Ishizu and Rishid, telling them I am fine and that I am going to stay here even though I am starting to doubt this decision was a good one. But I cannot change my mind now, can I? As expected, Ishizu was worried but stood behind me. Rishid was just worried and Dad did not answer at all. That's his second tactic when number one fails. Pretending to be oh so hurt and too shocked to communicate. Which begins to make me angry again, encouraging me more to stay here.

I am torn apart between wanting to return home and to stay. Questions raise up in my head, problems and opportunities, for example: Can I continue going to school? Probably not. But: Hooray, no school! What will my classmates think? Will they miss me - will somebody from my school miss me? What will my GF think? But to be honest, I don't care about her as much as I do for Yuugi. He's gonna be alone now. Well, I am alone now too. But hey, I am alone! I have my own room, no Dad who's telling me to go to bed at ten pm, no siblings I have to share sweets with or fight for the remote control! There's this cute guy living right under me, there are lots of new people I can be friends with, there's this whole city waiting to be explored! I am living in a city! I could go to the cinema! I could just go outside, right now, and nobody could stop me!

I reblog some things on Tumblr, waiting for Jaden. It's 3 pm when he finally writes that he's waiting downstairs. I wanted to shower and get some fresh clothes but all Jaden left me are those jogging pants and a bit of underwear. So I put on my sweater and pants again, but do not redo my make-up because I don't brought any of my make-up things with me and also I feel like it's making me too gay. I am still not sure how obvious my sexual orientation is and if people here would mind.

I miss my laptop. Reblogging things on mobile sucks. My phone works on prepaid and normally I try to use it as less as possible for internet actions. Jaden does not have a computer it seems, I don't recall him packing it in. It's crazy anyways how much stuff he left here, but since he could get away without trouble, I guess he can always come and get more of his stuff. Which makes me wonder if I could go home too and get some of my things.

But I shouldn't. I don't want Dad to see me. He is at home as much as he can and because he expects me to come back, he will keep his ears and eyes open even more. I cannot give him that satisfaction.


I go down the stairs and meet Jaden outside. He looks worn out. Maybe he's just sleepy. We decide to go eat something first. I tell him I don't have much money and Jaden laughs, telling me he doesn't have much either. There's a McDonald's near, he says. He notices my clothes and tells me that he'll lend me some spares. Ahh, I love this boy. Always friendly and always helping, even though he had and has such a troubling life!

Just as we want to leave the backyard a car pulls up. It's a big old Buick Regal, the cheapest I have ever witnessed. The guy inside looks unspectacular. He turns off his music and shouts "Oi! Kura!" without paying much attention to us. Does he mean Bakura?

"Come on," Jaden says, not paying much attention toward the guy either. We walk away. In the corner of my eye I can see the window under Jaden's room opening up.

I've never been to a McDonald's before. It's inside the central station building together with a few small shops. I'm amazed at the different people and smells inside the station's building, and the strange languages, the fast pacing. There's a Starbucks in the corner. Jaden keeps up with the movement, knowing when and how to dodge people coming towards his way. Someone bumps into me, his hand brushing my side. I apologize, while the guy didn't even so much as look at me.

We step inside the 'Macces' as Jaden calls it and I get my purse. - No, I want to get it but it's gone. Along with my phone. I panic, ignore Jaden and walk to an empty table to turn my bag upside down. But my stuff is gone. Jaden asks me what's up and I explain it to him. I remember the guy who just bumped into me and feel incredibly stupid. Dad was right, it is dangerous in the city - hah, no, wait. I'm not gonna confirm his stupid fears! Well yes, it got stolen but that is not a reason to avoid places with a lot of people. I just got unlucky, is all. It's just a thing. Things are not important. I don't need it. It's not that bad. It's okay. It's okay.

"Don't worry, gonna spend you a burger," Jaden smiles. I thank him and tell him I'll pay him back. We stand in line. There are lots of people, it is loud and some weird smell lingers in the air. A baby is crying somewhere and from the kitchen behind the counter comes some weird beeping noise. I can't stop thinking of the guy who stole my purse. What did he look like? The five bucks in my purse aren't that important, but there was also my student ID card and other things. I sigh and Jaden rubs my arm. Dammit, the picture of Mom was inside!

I don't talk much as we sit down and eat. Jaden bought me a cheeseburger, which tastes funny. He lets me have a chicken nugget, which tastes a bit better. I try to remember the thief's face.

"Your phone is gone too?" Jaden asks, making a sympathetic face.

"Yeah, ughh." I stuff my mouth with my burger. "Now I don't have any access to the internet at all!" Goddammit, I will lose followers on Tumblr.

He laughs. "Hah, that's what ya worrying about?"

"Yes, dummy," I say. "I won't be able to write messages to you either."

"Oh fuck, you're right." Jaden stops chewing. "Can't you go back home and get some of your-"

"No. Dad is practically sitting next to the door, just waiting for me. I won't go back."

"Oh."

We finish eating. My stomach feels weird and my bag feels awfully empty, all that is inside now is my water bottle. I don't say much as we walk back to the strip club. Jaden tells me that there is a phone in the girls dressing room and one in the kitchen as well. Also there's an internet cafe just down this street. I just nod and nod. I know he tries to help, but I cannot appreciate it. How could I lose my only picture of my Mom.


The Buick is gone and the window upstairs is shut. The White Snake is still silent, no one's in yet. Jaden and I go behind those red curtains. Only then I notice the small stairs, hidden right on the spot were the curtains fall, leading to a stage. The stage where the girls are stripping. We don't walk on it but walk besides it, between rows of dark red seats and poles. Most lights are not on yet, just enough to see where we're going. The room is big but doesn't look imposing. It's more of a let down actually. No glamour to find. Jaden walks behind the bar counter on the left wall, grabbing some keys.

"I'll show you the kitchen," he says leading me to the double doors beside the bar. The inside is small and full of kitchen tools, everything is either white or metallic. It's surprisingly clean. "Most of the times you don't have to help out much, but sometimes Mahad will need a hand. Like peeling potatoes or heat up something, get something from the back. You will have to check the stuff in the back every evening and throw stuff out that is bad. You do have to wash up every evening, sometimes twice. He'll tell you all this himself anyway."

"I won't have to wait tables?" I ask.

"Hell no," he snorts. "You're a guy, you're at the back. We have five waitresses for that."

Right. Makes sense. After all men only want women and a guy would turn them off. I wonder if there are strip clubs for gay men.

Jaden tells me that Mahad is the kitchen chef and that Mai is at the bar. I will listen to them, they'll tell me what will have to be done and by time I will know it myself. Basically I will have to walk from one place to another, bring people stuff and help the girls get dressed, check the toilets and clean up in between. "You work from six till two, you have one break that you can have whenever you want," Jaden explains.

"Two what?" I ask. "Two am?"

Jaden nods. I seem to have pulled a face, because he laughs. "Don't worry, you get used to it. You know how I wake up at noon, don't you?"

I know. He is on Tumblr at noon, replying to my messages, wishing me a good morning, while I'm already wasted from four hours school and having lunch. When he begins working I am home, finishing my homework and playing Candy Crush. When I go to sleep, he still has two hours of work before he can hit bed.

"When do you go to sleep?" I ask him. "Right after work? I couldn't sleep just like that without any free time before."

"Nah," he answers, "I eat something and chill a bit, read a bit. I cannot head to bed right after work either."

Now that I think about it, I did sleep from three till noon today. I already fit in.

Jaden wants to show me the basement. Its door is behind the stairs and needs another key which Jaden retrieves from behind the bar. "We have three keys for the basement. Mahad and Akefia have the other two."

"Does Akefia show up here actually?" I ask. Until now, Jaden has not mentioned the owner of the strip club.

Jaden shrugs, opening the basements door. "He checks in sometimes, but he's mostly either upstairs or outside." I follow him downstairs. "As far as I know he's got another club, a bar I mean. Somewhere in the city. Plus the, you know, that other kind of income."

Yeah, the drugs. "Right. Do you think that I will have to take care of that too?"

Jaden looks to me, inspecting me. "I don't think you will have to. I didn't had to at the beginning. Just say no."

"Alright," I say. But I wonder if I can just say 'no' to him.

Jaden shows me the various stuff I have to stock up, like plates and glasses - because the waitresses break them every once in a while; beverage powder, bulbs, cutlery, replacement cushions for the seats - because the customers spill something on them once in a while; mirrors, disinfectant spray, soaps, towels, toilet papers, various curtains and decoration stuff - which we pull out because it is Christmas after all. "Yeah, you should begin with that stuff. Put it all around where you think it fits," he says, pulling out some Christmas lights. "Not too much outside, it's still a strip club. And give those to the waitresses." He hands me some reindeer antlers made out of plush. "Two days after tomorrow you will have to put it all down again," he says.

It makes me sad to think of the girls who have to get undressed on Christmas days, dancing in front of disgusting old guys, while they should be home making cookies and spending time with their families. I too, will miss Christmas. Ishizu as well. Damn, I wished I could visit her!

There are a few fridges here, buzzing silently when we approach them. "Frozen ingredients for the kitchen," Jaden says.

"What about Bakura?" I finally ask, as we make our way upstairs. We put the boxes next to the stairs and go up higher.

"What about him?" Jaden frowns. "Why are you so interested in him? He's gay," he says in one breath and my heart stops beating for a second.

"What? Oh. I-I don't know, I just wonder why he's... aggressive or what did you say about him..."

Jaden's voice gets softer. "Akefia isn't the best father." Then he gets louder. "But Bakura is an ass! I don't remember having even one decent conversation with him while I've been here." I stare at him, he stares back. "Alright, I'm exaggerating," he says, making a motion with his hand. I follow him upstairs. "Just ignore Bakura and it'll be fine," he says as final remark and I close my mouth.

Dammit, was I that obvious? I only asked about him for the second time.

In his room, Jaden grabs most of his books and puts them in his empty bag. I ask him about his aunt. "Oh, she's fine," he sighs. "Just a bit weird. And she's not my real aunt, just a bit older, you know," he laughs.

"You can't stay long at her place, right? What will you do after that?"

Jaden takes a moment to look at me with his dark eyes, as if contemplating what to tell me next. "I guess I am staying longer," he answers in a quiet voice and looks away. Weird. Something's not quite right here, but I don't comment on it.


Jaden says his goodbyes and leaves. It is already five and I have only one hour until my first workday begins. I have to shower. I need fresh clothes! Jaden told he'd bring me some, but I doubt he will. I don't think it would be good for him to show up here too often. At least he left me the jogging pants. But I'd rather use them as sleeping and, well, jogging pants and not for work.

Alright, what to do now? Ask Akefia? No way. I feel helpless. Who could I ask?

You probably know who I am thinking about. Of course I thought about that cute, white-haired, gay(!) guy living just under me, probably having about the same clothing size as me. Jaden's offhand mentioning of Bakura's sexual orientation told me that he probably hasn't figured out mine. After all, he would have told me so sooner. Also he would have warned me to not get affiliated with Bakura, because he's 'an ass'. So maybe my sexual orientation isn't as obvious as I think. So would Bakura know that I am gay? Should I tell him? How the fuck do gay guys find each other?!

While I'm sitting at the desk and continuing my diary, I hear a car pull up. I look out of the window. It's the same car, that ugly Buick. Bakura is getting out. It's hard to mistake him for another person with that white hair. He's making a motion with his hand and the car pulls back again. Bakura is climbing up the fire escape, it seems to be his preferred entry to his home. Alright, I can even hear his steps now. Should I get out to and ask him for some clothes? He's an ass, Jaden says, but I just want to meet him.

I realize that I must have fallen in love with him, without even knowing him at all.

I press my face against the window's glass and barely see the corner of his jacket or something. I can hear his window sliding up, then down again. It must be his room, he's sneaking outside, just like I used to do. Is Akefia as restrictive as my Dad?

Despite knowing that it is rude and stupid, I decide to go downstairs. What could happen at the worst? He could yell at me, I guess.

I get my keys and head downstairs. It's annoying to close the storage room every time I leave my room, but it has to be done. I remember Jaden saying that at this time, an hour before the strip club opens, Akefia is downstairs, making himself something to eat in the kitchen. So I should be alone with Bakura. I'm still cautious and open the door to their apartment slowly. I'm not as loud as yesterday. Everything is louder in the night but now I doubt Bakura has heard me.

I am in the hall; blue walls, a shoe cupboard. No pictures or decorations on the walls. It is Christmas, isn't it? Well, maybe they put all the Christmas decor in the living room or something. The floor before the entrance door is dirty. There's dust in the corners on the ground and on the wall. The kitchen is to my left and it is the only room except the bathroom with an open door, the other three doors are shut. The right door leads to Akefia's room. Where is Bakura's?

I go into the kitchen and look out of the window. Right, there it is, the fire escape. Leading up and passing by the other room's windows as well. So Bakura's room must be right next to the kitchen! I walk before it, there's a poster on it, - no, it's a calendar made out of cheap paper. 'The Year 1994' it says in big letters, below twelve small pictures of various animals and below each picture columns of weekdays and numbers from one to thirty or thirty-one, except February alone. 1994? I was three years old then.

I knock, loudly and clear. Three times.

I wait, but there's no response. Isn't he in? I knock again and yell "Hey!"

Again, no noise at all - no, wait, there's some rustling, sounding like someone is moving in bed. Was he sleeping? Oh, I am sorry, I -

A few quick steps, then he opens the door with a short swing. "What the fuck do you want?" he asks, frowning, glaring. The room behind him is dark, almost pitch black.

He does not seem to be wondering who I am, or maybe it does not interest him. "Hey, I'm Marik," I say, slowly, suddenly forgetting why I am here. I run my eyes over him. No pajamas, but oversized pants and a sleeveless shirt, which reveals a bit of his chest at the front. Isn't he cold?

Bakura opens his mouth and frowns more. "So... what?" he asks loudly, emphasis coloring his voice.

"I'm replacing Jaden cause he's away and-"

He closes the door, before I can finish my sentence.

What the fuck?!

"Hey!" I yell and knock again. What the heck was that? Naturally, he doesn't open and I wonder what I have done wrong. My heart is beating faster. I can feel my face flush. I want to meet you, you idiot!

I pound the door some more, but it seems to be useless. I'm about to walk away and go upstairs but something holds me back. No, I need some clothes! There's no one else I can ask! I need to shower and put on some new clothes because I smell like a trash can!

"Hey!" I yell. "Hey, Bakura!" My fist hits the march animal - a cithaerias butterfly - multiple times. I do not stop, but keep hitting, five, ten, fifteen times. At around thirty my hand begins to hurt. At forty I lose count. At fifty I hear the rustling again.

"God-fucking-dammit, okay!" he yells and opens the door for the second time. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he spits, lunging his hand at me.

I do not step back but move forward. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I ask, moving my hands apart. He's a bit bigger than me but I am not afraid of him. He hasn't got any muscles while I am well trained. "Why do you have to be so rude?"

He stares, as if not believing what I am saying. "What. the fuck. do. you. want," he presses out between bared teeth.

I take a breath, try to calm down. "I do not have any spare clothes. I have to work at six and was wondering if you could borrow me something."

At that, he takes a step back, not breaking our eye contact. "You what?" he laughs, crossing his arms before his chest. His voice shakes in pitch. A thick puff of his hair falls over his shoulder. Snow-white hair, comes to my mind. "What makes you think I would borrow you some clothes?" he asks, not waiting for an answer. He grabs the door while going inside backwards, still staring into my eyes, still not believing my question, my presence.

"Wait." I push my boot between the door and the frame, coming closer and pushing it open. "Please, come on," I beg, giving him a smile. "I will wash them and bring them back! I can wash all your stuff for that favor, okay?"

He let's go of the door, blinking at me. Am I that irritating? Well, you're pretty damn irritating too! "Why you so rude," I mumble under my breath. He waves me inside with one lazy hand motion and turns on the light. I did not expected a start like this. Jaden was right, he is an ass.

His room is full of stuff. And it smells. There's something like a bed in one corner, and a small TV and a game console in another. There is a closet, a desk and a chair, the latter two are both full of clothes and books, trash and other stuff. There's lots on the floor: books, paper, cardboard, bags, trash, wires, a big fan, jackets, packages of cigarettes. He prances on the small path between all of this trash and slides the grey curtains to the sides, giving the room some sunlight. There's a book shelf above his bed and a trash can next to the desk, full with - you guessed it - trash.

"How can you live like this," I say before calculating that I probably should not have said that.

Bakura throws a scowl at me. "How can you live with that fag face?" He seems calmer now though, brushing me aside to get to a pile of clothes.

Fag face? How does he- "Aren't you gay yourself?" I blurt out. His non-existing manners drive me walnuts!

He glances at me, a shirt in his hand. "Ah, so I'm right?" He smirks. He sniffs the shirt then tosses it to me. "You can have that."

I catch it without looking at it. "I want something fresh," I utter and throw it back to him. How dare he give me something out of his used stuff!

That little movement he made with his lips, that smirk, I want to see it again. I don't want to fight. But fighting is inevitable with him, I guess. "Why would I give you something fresh, moron. Take it or leave it." He flings the shirt to my feet, then goes back to the window, opening it wide. The sill is the only clean spot in his room. He retrieves a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and leans over the windowsill. "Take it and get out or I'll hurt you." His voice is calm. He lights up a cigarette.

I have learned in psychology class that it only takes 3 seconds for one to decide if he likes the other or not. It's all about appearance and the first impression. You can talk about hearts and personalities and loving the inside of someone all you like but in the end it is all about the outer shell.

Just like I have fallen in love with him without knowing him, he probably despises me without knowing me. All because of that bad start.

"Please, I need something fresh," I repeat. He does not move. "Please, Bakura," I say, feeling like I'm entering private rooms of his soul by saying his name.

"Piss off, fly boy."

What does that mean again. I sigh loudly. "Common, what do you want me to do? Suck your cock?" I try.

He turns around, cigarette in his mouth and leans backwards, elbows on the windowsill. He takes the cig out of his mouth and says: "You would like my cock, wouldn't you?"

My face flushes. "Ahh, stop that and - just! Just give me something!" I step towards him, in need to see his stupid face closer. "What is your fucking problem? Why won't you help someone in need?"

"Why would I help someone?" he gives back. He sucks on his cigarette, closing his eyes.

"Cause you should be nice to people? Cause they might help you back?" Another stride.

He looks at me, as if he doesn't believe that he has to explain this to me. "No, they don't. Also I don't need help."

I take a last step, standing before him now. "You're a fucking egoist!" I yell.

"Well, d'uh." He blows smoke at my face, which hits my eyes. It feels like small cuts over my eyeballs.

My jaw and muscles tighten. I fight the need to cough but do not cough, just hold my breath until the itchy feeling in my throat goes away. I don't know whether to push him out of the window or slap him. How can somebody be such an asshole! "You-" I begin, but the sound of the entrance door opening stops me.

Bakura and I look over to Akefia. Suddenly life springs into Bakura. He moves, flips the cigarette out, closes the window and goes to his closet, searching. "Here," he mumbles, pressing a bunch of clothes on my arms, which I diffidently grab. He grabs my shoulder and shoves me outside, giving me a growl as I say 'thank you'. He slams his door shut. Suddenly, within matters of seconds, I stand in the hall again.

Akefia gives me a disapproving look. "Bakura!" he then yells, hammering at the door, much harder than I have. It bulges slightly at the sides.

"Fuck off!" comes from the inside.

"Don't start anything with this one! He's working here!"

"He's not my type anyways!"

I don't move. Akefia looks back at me. "Work at six, right?" he asks nonchalant, as if he did not just fight with his son. A reminder for me to behave, I guess and not a legitimate question. Why is he so rude to his son? Is this normal behavior around here? Dad never yells at us like this.

I feel like I should defend Bakura. "Yes. I just borrowed some clothes from Bakura, Jaden showed me around, I-"

"Great," he says and walks off to the kitchen. I hear him opening the fridge. He comes back with a six-pack of beer, not paying attention to me anymore. "Go to Mai," he says and vanishes into the room opposite to Bakura's. Is this room also his? He closes the door and I stand in the hall alone.

I go to the bathroom and inspect the clothes Bakura gave me. Two hoodies, both black, both with graffiti art on them; a sleeveless white shirt; grey jeans. Not bad. I'm lucky Jaden left me some underwear, but I do need new socks. Oh well, first I'm gonna shower. I undress and step into the bathtub. I take the shower head in my hand. It is connected to the tap by a long tube. After a few looks around I discover a metal grip to which I can attach the shower head.

Just like our and their fridge, this 'shower' is nothing to that compared home. I have to wait until the water warms up and even then it's just a small drizzle. It's nothing, compared to the five high-tech spray panels above and one in every of the top four corners in our shower.

But I don't care. After that strenuous day yesterday and the work day laying ahead of me, a shower is still a shower. I should be thinking about the working day laying ahead of me, but I cannot clear my mind around Bakura. So Akefia knows that his son is gay and warned him to not 'start anything' with me. Is Bakura this promiscuous? I think of his shirt and that bit of skin I saw, the outline of his chest. His skin is so pale, so much lighter from mine. Needless to say, I jerk off at that imagine in my head.


I step out, feel like a new born. I didn't really like the generic shampoo but who am I to complain. There was no conditioner. I should buy some. I should make a list of things I want to buy. Like food for example.

Actually, I'm starving. That one weird burger and that one chicken nugget wasn't enough. I'm a big boy. Also I work out, normally, meaning that I eat a bit more than the average Joe. I already feel lazy because I neither jogged nor used my dumbbells yet. I have too much energy left. I guess I will have to cut short on my workout here. But I can still jog in my free time. Yeah, I gotta find a nice park nearby where I can jog as long as I want!

There's a big laundry basket next to the toilet. I take a peak. It is almost empty, save for a few towels which look as if they've been laying there for years. Do they not wash their stuff? I throw my used clothes inside and put on the jeans Bakura gave me. I dry my hair, then let it fall on my shoulders. Small drips of water escape from it occasionally. I tiptoe to Bakura's room and knock. I need socks.

No answer, of course. But you know what? I'm just gonna step in!
But as I try the handle, the door won't move. Locked.

"Fuck off," Bakura says.

"Open the door so I can suck your cock!" I yell. I am much calmer compared to before, because I have just beat off. Still, some excitement is left though. I want to see his eyes again.

"Damn, you're hungry," he mocks. "But I doubt you're good."

One corner of my mouth rises. "Open up so I can prove it!" No answer. Aw, come on! "Do I have to call Akefia?"

He laughs. "Yeah, do that." I hear him move. "Actually," he says, his voice coming closer. "I would open the door in that case, cause I'd love to see him beating up your ass." He must stand before the door now.

I lean closer to the wood, placing my palms on it. "I need socks, Bakura."

"I don't care."

"Why are you standing before the door then?"

He grunts. The door clicks and I push it open. Bakura stands there, his eyes glaring at me.

"Is that the only facial expression you got?" I ask.

His eyes hush over me. It's just a quick glance but I can tell he's surprised. Like my six-pack, honey? "You get socks, if you get something for me," he says slowly.

"Fine. But first the socks."

Another approving look, this time he actually leans back a bit and takes a longer time until his eyes come back up. There, he smirks. "Alright." I can't remember the last time I had to bargain that hard for a pair of socks. With my body, no less. He moves to the closet, I follow him. He hands me a bunch of unsorted socks. My heart is beating faster as our hands brush. I had some witty remark prepared on my tongue but it is gone when I stare into his eyes. "Get me a pack of matches from downstairs," he says.

"Huh?"

"Downstairs. In the kitchen," he says louder. "The place where people make food? You know, food? The other thing you can put in your mouth besides dicks?" He mocks me again.

"Yeah," I mumble annoyed. I sit down on his unmade bed, no actually jump backwards onto it because it is higher than mine or Jaden's. Is it higher build or are their two mattresses or what? It is soft, the blanket I sit on. And it feels like it's very thick.

He turns around to me. "Eh, what are you..." he trails off, but stops when he sees me putting on socks. He stares at me with his lips shut tight. Guess I lost the bonus points I got for my abs again. "You're not welcome here, you do know that, right?"

"Chill, I'm just sitting down for a moment." I am being extra slow and adjust and pull here and there on the one sock that is on my foot. All without breaking eye contact with Bakura. Then I put on the next one.

"You piss me off so much," he mutters.

He does not move, only to cross his arms in front of himself, waiting for me to vanish. When I am finally done, I grab the rest of the sock pile and get up. I pull on my jeans, flexing my arm muscles a bit while doing so and watch for his reaction. There is not much, he simply exhales loudly and shifts his weight on one foot. Still staring me down, still annoyed. Whatever have I done to deserve this?

I leave finally, looking over my shoulder as I do so. He's still standing there and looks back to me. "Close the door. Get the matches," he says. I nod.


It is almost six anyways. I head downstairs after putting on boots and a hoodie. I don't meet anyone but hear female voices in the girl's dressing room. When I step through the curtains into the main room I'm a bit baffled. The lights from before are off but all the neon lights are on. Long neon tubes slowly change their colors from white to purple and back to white. There's more white light above me and lots of small purple dots all around the walls and between the seats. Which do look much more massive and classy under that light. There is music playing but it is too silent to make out the lyrics.
It seems like a completely different room. Full of magic and adventure. For straight men anyways.

"Hey." Someone is calling. I follow the voice to the kitchen, the place I was heading to anyways. Earlier, when I was here with Jaden, the pass-through was closed with small blinds so I hadn't noticed it. Now the guy from yesterday looks at me through it, leaning down a bit.

"Hey," I say to him.

"What's your name?" he asks. He wears his black hair in a ponytail. He gives me frown after he glances at my chest. Is it the hoodie? Did he recognized that it's from Bakura?

"Marik," I say. I doubt he has heard it because in the same second something crashes inside the kitchen and in the next he's heading towards it. I go through the swinging doors, seeing him going into the next room, the storage room.
Okay, um, where are the matches? I look through a few cupboards before I find them in the very last cupboard behind the door to the storage room. What did Bakura say? A pack of them? Here are only two boxes. Whatever. I take them and head back upstairs.

"Got your matches," I yell through the door.

He opens it. "Shh, not so loud. Where are they?" When I let the two boxes drop on his open palm, he throws them back at me. "I said a pack!" They jump of my raised arms.

"Those were the last ones!" I say, feeling anger rise up again.

Bakura sighs. "No, there's more back in the storage room. It's usually closed but now it should be open. They are in the low boy in the corner."

Low boy? "Huh, what-"

"Storage. Room," here he goes again! Eyes twitching at me, voice lowering.

"Yeah, I know where that is, but what the fuck is a low boy?" I cut. baring my teeth. Goddammit, can't I have one normal conversation with him?!

"A small fridge," he answers and slams the door shut, I feel air hitting my face. A low fridge in the back room. Fine, then. I'm gonna get your matches! No need to be so pissed about fucking matches! Don't you realize that it would be much easier to not be so pissed and angry at me for no apparent reason? We could get along, we could make out, we could be boyfriends or just friends but there's no chance to that if you're being such an asshole!

I pick up the boxes with the Christmas stuff and walk back to Mahad. At least I assume the guy with the ponytail and the apron is Mahad. His skin color is similar to mine and Akefia's but only now I ask myself if they have the same heritage as I do. Egyptian. It could be one of the reasons Akefia so easily accepted me here.

The man in the apron waves me to him. "Jaden, I need you to," he begins then shakes his head. "No. Right, first set up the Christmas decoration. Put some lights at the entrance and some at the walls between the neons and so on, okay?" I nod. "Then come to me," he adds and vanishes back inside.


I do as Mahad told me. Or try to. I'm slow, because I simply don't know my working place well yet. For example to hang the Christmas lights over the entrance door I need a ladder. So I go to Mahad and ask him where the ladder is. He tells me it is in the basement. Right, now I remember seeing a ladder right behind the door to the basement. For the basement, I need the keys which are somewhere behind the bar. But where?

Mai, the barkeeper isn't there yet. I go behind the bar by lifting up a small wooden flap. Lots of bottles standing on shelves behind a long mirror and lots of various glasses in the front. I crouch down and open all cupboards and drawers and actually find the basement keys. I go and get the ladder, then hang up one chain of red lights and one chain of green lights above the entrance. The two bouncers before the door give me room but do not as much as glance at me.

Then I hang up some more lights between the long neon tubes, put a cutout of a sexy female Santa Clause near the entrance, hang some textile snowflakes at the walls which nobody will notice anyways. I notice that the small circular lights on the very edge of the stripper's stage turned from white to red. A second glance tells me that the neon tubes change their lights from green to red now.

"Marik!" a female voice calls me. It's Mai, standing before the bar. Tight glossy skirt, long, big hair. She knows my name? I walk over to her. "That was your name, right?" she asks with no emotion in her voice. I nod. "Did you put some light at the entrance?" I nod again. "Good. Get the other Christmas cutout from the basement and put it outside. There's a menu special on it."

"Alright," I say, ready to go.

"And change the candles on the tables and light them up," she adds.

I just love the atmosphere here. No, really, why's nobody even smiling at me? I know, I'm not the most cheerful person now either, but hey I'm new! Well, whatever. Now I actually have a reason to ask Mahad to get matches from the storage room cause the two match boxes from the kitchen are laying on the floor upstairs.

I tell Mahad, he doesn't pay much attention to me and tells me to slice some 'pommes' after I'm done with the decoration. "Wash your hands first," he says, about to go, then remembering something. "Ever sliced potatoes before?"

I nod. "Slicing as in, preparing them for french fries?" I ask.

"Yeah. Just do it your style." Awesome. He leaves the storage room through the exit door to outside - the door I saw him exiting yesterday - retrieving a pack of cigarettes from his pockets. Does everybody smoke here?!

I find a cupboard half full of matches and candles and take out one 'pack' as Bakura called them. Four times six boxes of matches in two stacks, equaling fourty-eight boxes of matches, wrapped in plastic foil. I guess that will suffice for a while. I hide them under my hoodie and go upstairs, since no one is nearby, even Mai vanished again.

Bakura doesn't say a word when he opens the door, just takes the pack and closes the door again. He does meet my eyes though and holds the visual contact until his door interrupts it. Uh, I could just fall into him in hope he'd catch me. I do feel a bit dizzy.


The next hour passes by quickly. Finally a few customers come, making three girls climb up the stage. The music gets louder and Mai is behind the bar again. I'm in the storage room of the kitchen, peeling potatoes and slicing them up. Once Mahad drops by to get some plates and bring me an apron. No word to my peeling style, so I guess it's alright? I'm bored. When my bucket if full I bring it to the kitchen.

The kitchen is full all of a sudden. And by full I mean there are five guys crammed in a space designated for three guys, or so I estimated, preparing handling pans and pots and the french fries in the fryer, moving ingredients unbelievably fast. The air is thick of the various smells and sounds. I stand and stare. It's like I'm in a different world. There's a screen on one wall, displaying a list of words. Mahad grabs the bucket from my hands and tells me to cut some more pommes, shooing me back to the storage room. I'm back in the silence and sit down, frowning. More potato slicing? Ugh.

It feels like the second bucket takes me more time but the clock says I was faster. My hands hurt, I can feel every bone in my fingers. There's so much dirt under my fingernails. Mahad tells me to go to Mai. I have trouble to reach the exit. There's always someone in my way, everybody's yelling, never talking. They yell about asses and dicks, dogs and french apples. I guess it's some kind of kitchen slang? Mahad puts a hand on my back and gently pushes me outside. I'm relieved.

I still hear them yelling. A girl, a waitress, passes by and nods to me, smiling. She gets two plates of french fries from the pass-through, balancing them on one hand. I hurry to Mai. The room is much fuller now. I glance at my watch. Almost nine. I'm frigging glad I got the watch by the way. Being without phone now, I feel naked. Even more detached from my home. The watch gives me back a bit of control.

All four poles on the main stage are occupied, all four poles on the side stages are taken as well. Oh, there are small poles on the tables of guests too, haven't noticed that before. A few girls walk around, or are those waitresses? Yeah, right, those are waitresses. They wear short shirts, revealing their midriff, and hot pants with tights.

"Marik," Mai says and for some reason this makes me like her even more. She's the only one here who knows my name and actually uses it. I cannot remember Akefia saying it, or Bakura. Mahad just calls me Jaden. I guess he's just used to that. "It's your first day, so no rush, okay?" She smiles. "Go to the girls and look if someone needs a helping hand, alright? Don't be shy, they are used to guys looking at their bodies." Here her smile turns into a grin.

"Alright." I smile back, but I don't think I was convincing.

The dressing room is empty, only the thin girl from yesterday stands there, naked. I feel my face flush, but I look at her, since that's what Mai says. It's normal. It's a strip club after all. At first, she doesn't seem to notice me. So I step closer and ask: "You need help with something?" That seems to confuse her even more.

"What?" she says, her eyes - I don't know what it is with her eyes, they look weird. As if she's dreaming and not really here. Her collarbones are painful to look at.

I hear a flush, then water running. Soon enough the other girl from yesterday, the one with short hair steps out. She's wearing her civilian clothes: short skirt but long-sleeved sweater and a scarf. She eyes me up and down, then grins a super big grin. What the...? "So you're staying for reals?" she asks.

"Yeah," I say.

She begins to undress while maintaining eye contact. "I'm Anzu." Her grin has reduces to a smile. I feel uncomfortable, watching her as she takes off her sweater, then skirt and leggings and she seems to know that. "Don't worry, just look! It's my job to make guys horny and you'll get it for free. Must be nice to work here for you!" She laughs, I chuckle back.

"Oh, yeah, well," I begin, shrugging. She steps closer, her naked breasts jiggle in front of me.

"If you ever need help or someone to talk to, you can come to me," she says softly, placing one hand on my shoulder. In this proximity I notice her slight Asian features: almond eyes, small nose. What was her name again?

I nod. "Thanks." She seems nice.

Meanwhile the other girl has vanished in the toilets room. Anzu puts on complicated-looking stockings that end in the middle of her thighs and attaches them to same-colored panties. She's seems busy but soon enough, she turns back to me while putting on a bra which seems to be way too small for her but that's the appeal I guess. "What's your name?" she asks.

"I'm Marik. And you were...?"

"Anzu."

"Right. Anzu. Sorry, not good with names, heh."

"No problem," she smiles.

"You're Japanese?"

"Yes. "She nods. "Well, half-Japanese." She watches me for a moment, as if she's still deciding whether or not to say more. "Like Bakura," she then adds and waits for me to react.

"Okay," I mutter. What does she hope for me to say? But my mind wanders. So Bakura's mother is from Japan? That would explain the skin color. Or no, actually, still doesn't explain it. Where is she anyways, I cannot remember anybody else ever mentioning her before. It does not seem like she's living together with her husband. She's not living here. Are they divorced?

Anzu giggles and moves away from me, to the mirror. Woops, I actually got lost in thoughts. "Anzu," I say, "is there anything you need my help with?" She looks at me and shakes her head.

The other girl comes back, suddenly having energy, noticing my presence and Anzu's and frowning at me. "Who're you?"

"Marik."

"Oh," says Anzu. "Yeah, you could do something for me, sweety." She gets her bag and fishes her cigarettes out. "Yup, empty. Get me two packs of American Legends. King size, alright?" She glances at the other girl. "You really got thin, Sarah! Ah, so jealous!"

"Okay, but where do I buy them?" I ask.

Anzu gives me a big bill. "Oh, there's a newsstand just round the corner." She glances again at Sarah, who begins to put on her stripper outfit. What's with this girl, why is she so weird? And of course her name is Sarah, and she has long black hair, just like my girlfriend.


The rest of the day is told quickly.

I get outside through the back, figuring it's better than going through the main room and irritating horny heterosexual males. Guys stay at the back, Jaden said. I have no idea which newsstand Anzu meant and ask three people before I finally find it. I buy two packs of Anzu's brand, king size of course. Afterwards I go to Mai, because I feel useless standing around in a dressing room full of chatty girls.
Mai tells me to cut a bucket full of lemons. Then, she sends me to Mahad who orders me to dish washing. It's quite a lot and there's always more coming. I feel super slow, I bet Jaden was faster at this. Mahad gives me no break and if I recall right, I do deserve a break. But I don't mention it, because there's always something to do.

The cooking has slowed down at midnight despite having a full house. I wonder if the customers buy a lot of food. Mahad only seems to reheat the things he and the others cooked before but to be fair, it's just a strip club and not a real restaurant. They leave the pot with the chili cooking on low flame through the whole night, same with the macaroni. The water for the hot dogs is cold again but you can warm those up fast. Salads are stored in big plastic containers but they are fresh, just made a few hours ago. I'd love one.

At one o'clock one of the waitresses says something to one cook, who turns to me. "Jaden, Mai needs you."

"Alright, thanks," I say quickly and leave the sink. Hooray! Please Mai, give me a big task, I'm sick of cleaning plates! The skin around my fingertips is about to peel off.

But Mai does not have a task for me. "You did not take your break, did you" she says, while cleaning dirty glasses. About eight guys sit around the bar counter, most of them turned to see the girls dancing.

"No. I thought you'd tell me when to take it."

"Uh-uh. You just take it when you think you need it. Don't hesitate okay? There's always something to do. Just take your break and only come back after the half hour is over."

"Okay, I just take it now then," I say.

She shakes her head. "Nope, go home. It's been enough for your first day." She looks away, to the stage.

I guess the conversation is over. "Okay, good night," I mutter.

While I pass the dressing room I hear loud voices, someone is arguing. A peak reveals Anzu and a blonde girl raising fingers and hands at each other, while two other girls try to calm them down. I don't understand what it is about and frankly, I don't care. I'm tired.


I let myself fall onto my bed.

I'm tired and hungry and I want a shower. My stomach feels weird. It gives me only a few seconds of warning before I jump up and run to the sink to vomit. Ugh, what the fuck. It's the burger. Thought I had digested that one by now. My stomach still feels weird.

I go downstairs. I hear Akefia talking on the phone. The hall is dark but I switch the light on. The fridge is as empty as last time I checked it. Well, what did I expect. Well, maybe I shouldn't eat anything either. I would just puke it out again. I use the toilet and go upstairs again because I cannot find any good reason to bug Bakura again.

I am tired but I do not want to go to bed yet. Jaden left a few comics which I grab and browse through but the stories don't hold my attention.

While I lay on the bed and stare at the posters I hear a car pulling up. Yup, it's the Regal. The window under mine pops open and Bakura climbs out, a cigarette in his mouth, a coat on his arm. He puts the coat on while speeding down the rattling steps. The guy in the car yells something. Bakura jumps inside and they drive off.

Dammit, who is that guy anyways? Bakura's boyfriend?

A quick passing in revue does not confirm my fears. No, the car guy looked very straight when I saw him yesterday. No, today. The meeting with Jaden was just before work but it seems so far away in my memory. Besides, it's not the next day if I haven't slept yet.

I cannot say exactly why but compared to Bakura, the car guy looked straight. Oh, maybe I'm beginning to develop my gay sense finally. Even before Jaden told me that Bakura is gay, I felt connected to him in some way. Something about him seemed different. Mysterious. Exciting.

I wonder where they went. I want him to come back.

Hm. Did he left his window opened? He must have. Well... I could just slip into his room without him knowing...

I think about it, imagine it; me going through his room, read the titles of his books, gather some of his trash and throw it away, dust off the corners, lay on his bed and hide under that thick blanket until he comes back, cuddling with me, putting his arm around me, leaning in for a kiss...

Okay, enough of this. In the end I won't go into his room, I'm not such a weirdo. I stay on my own bed, snoop through comics and miss my phone. What did people do before smartphones? I feel so useless. I'd like to lift some weights or go outside and jog but an adrenaline rush before bed isn't good. I have to do my training before work from now on.


After a while I wake up, not remembering to have fallen asleep. It's pitch dark outside but in my room it's bright, way too bright. I look at my watch, it's four. Great. I get up and undress, too tired to shower, too tired for everything. The skin on my hands feels weird from all that dish washing. I have to ask Mahad for plastic gloves tomorrow.

But you know what? It's all good, it's all fine. I'm okay. It's four o'clock in the morning but I could just go up and walk out, walk outside. I stand at the window, only dressed in shorts, and watch the few cars passing by, the few groups of drunk people laughing. It's silent for such a loud city like this. I feel free.


A/N: Marik's Tumblr actually exists and I started reblogging stuff on it a month ago because useless perfectionism. Jaden has one too.