Hi all! So glad you like this so far! Now, on to Part 4!

Enjoy!

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Moonshiners and Pink Booties

Part 4

"Hotch! What?" Morgan asked as he watched Hotch's face turn pale; he thought the other man was about to toss his 'cookies' and looked about rapidly for a trashcan.

JJ's voice came on again, "Hotch, you guys better get here quick! The doctor said the baby is on its way now!"

"But the baby is not due till next month!" His voice was getting panicky.

"Well, let me tell you, Aaron Hotchner, the baby is not waiting anymore!"Hotch shut his eyes when he heard her angry voice near the phone.

"Oh god! I… JJ, um we're in a little bit of a jam."

Silence.

"Hello?" Hotch called out, thinking the connection had severed.

"What do you mean a little jam?" JJ was whispering then Hotch and Morgan flinched when they heard another scream and…

"This fucking hurts! Whoever said childbirth is a wonderful thing needs to be shot! Where is my gun?"

"Oh dear…Hotch, whatever jam you are in, you need to unjam it fast." JJ's voice was two octaves higher than before.

Then, Penelope's distant voice came over through the speaker, "Oh my god! I can cuss but she…those words coming from her mouth… I've never even heard of some of them before! The nurses have refused to enter the room. We are acting liaisons for them and her!"

Derek frowned when he heard Penelope's pleas. She never pled before in her life!

Taking a deep breath, Hotch nodded to himself and spoke up, his eyes intense through the haze of pain, "We're in jail."

"You're what?" shrieked JJ.

Hotch almost dropped the phone, he'd never heard JJ scream before.

He pressed the speaker mode, deciding to conserve his eardrums; he didn't want to go through the pain he felt after New York and the bombing.

"Damn! We're in deep shit!" Morgan exclaimed; he too had never heard JJ over react before so if she was this concerned, it was worse than they thought.

"I take it David is with you?" she asked angrily.

"Uh…yeah?" Hotch's voice sounded tentative at best and only served to escalate JJ's ire.

"Of all the trouble you guys could get into! I can't believe it! This is the last time we're going to let you guys out by yourselves! What about Reid?"

"Um…he's with us, too." Hotch felt his bravado slipping even further as her voice went through a complete range of emotions in one sentence.

"Tesoro? Is that you?" a gruff voice said from behind the two.

Hotch and Morgan turned to see Dave attempting to stand. After wobbling a bit he finally stumbled sideways and ended up tripping over Reid. As he fell hard on the young man, his head banged hard on the concrete wall.

"Oaf! Goddamn it! Who put…oh Reid! What the fuck is he doing here?" Dave asked groggily as he massaged his forehead. "Fuck that hurts!"

"Dave! What happened?" JJ was yelling again but at least this time she sounded concerned.

"Where are you, Mio amore?" Dave looked around, blinking his eyes rapidly as he fought to focus them.

Morgan went over to him and quickly explained to Dave what was happening.

"Oh shit!" exclaimed Dave. He squinted at Hotch, "Did you tell her where we're at?"

Hotch nodded.

Dave glared at him, "Why the hell did you do that? Now I'm in the doghouse!"

"David Rossi! You better man up and not try and blame this on Hotch! You were the one insisting on going to Matteo's!"

"But he makes the best stuff!" Dave tried to reason with her.

"Moonshine is illegal!" she yelled out.

"Shhhh!" Dave, Morgan and Hotch shushed on the phone at the same time as Hotch and Morgan eyed the LEO who was sitting at the desk, reading a book.

"Don't shush me! You guys are in deep trouble, you know that? Especially you, Hotch!"

"Oh boy! Here comes another one!" The guys could hear her yelling out again.

"Another what?" Hotch panicked.

"Contractions, Hotch, are you paying attention to what I'm telling you? The baby is coming right now!" JJ screeched again, not understanding how a man that was normally so focused seemed to be completely dense at the moment.

"Um…Honey!" Hotch yelled on the phone, "Breathe short breaths! Like this," he began to breathe out the technique he learned in Lamaze class they attended.

"Fuck breathing! Damn you Aaron Hotchner! Where the hell are you? And I'm not having this kid before we are married!"

The men winced.

"Sweetheart…" Hotch's tone was placating as he tried to calm her down.

"Don't you sweetheart me, asshole!"

"Ooh!" Morgan and Dave exclaimed.

"But babe! Just hang in there! It will be over soon. Are your contractions are very close?" Hotch tried to console her through the phone.

"Hangin there! Hang in there he says!…I'm on my fucking back, my feet in stirrups, legs spread and wide open for the entire world to see…and you want me to hang in there? Who came up with that? God, I'm gonna shoot someone if they tell me to hang in there again! Where is my fucking gun?"

Hotch blushed at her descriptions, "Honey…I didn't mean…"

"Honey? Don't call me that, you shit head! This is all your fault! You're never gonna touch me ag…Ooh! Damn you, Aaron Hotchner!"

The men sucked in their breaths as they heard her going through the breathing techniques.

"Um…breathe…there…" Hotch was turning red as Emily breathed and swore his name again and again.

Morgan and Dave tried to hold it in, but finally their breath came out in a whoosh as they begin to laugh!

Morgan, gasping for air, said to Dave, "Man, I'm glad I'm not in his shoes."

"Derek?" Penelope's angry voice came through the line.

"Yes, my one and only," Morgan's face fell when he heard her voice.

"I heard you laughing. You have no place to do that! When it comes time for us, you better be by my side! Or so help me, god!"

"Oh sweetness…you know I'll be," he said smoothly, trying to calm her ruffled feathers.

"Don't you sweetness me! If it weren't for your grand idea of having a bachelor party, Hotch would have been here to hold her hand! Ow, ow, ow! Ease up on the hold! God! I think she broke my hand! Hotch you're going to pay for my medical bills!"

"But Pen! I just wanted Hotch to enjoy…" Derek tried to soothe.

"Hey!" Hotch looked at him, "I was perfectly fine with a barbecue party at home."

"But didn't you say you were glad that…"

"Now is not the time to argue about that! I'm in fucking labor!" They heard several panted breaths over the line and thought for a moment that she was finished before she picked up louder than before."I change my mind! I'm not waiting till we're married. This kid is coming out now! Where's Dr. Bells? I need more drugs! Someone get the fucking doctor, he's gotta get this pod out of me! And damn you, Aaron Hotchner!"

"Wow, I hope you guys decide to just have this one." Dave marveled. "I don't think I can go through listening to that again! Then again, she might have you get a vasectomy," Dave said, his eyes wide opened.

"Vasectomy?"she yelled, "He's going to be castrated!"

Hotch blushed even more as Morgan and Dave, unconsciously, put their hands protectively on their 'boys'.

Dave tipped his head in curious thought. "Why does she keep calling you by your full name?"

Hotch looked down at his shoes. "When she's pissed at me, she uses my whole name."

Morgan laughed again, "She sounds like my mom when I was little and in trouble!"

"Derek Cornelius Morgan! Laugh at Hotch again and you'll be washing dishes for the rest of your life!" Penelope yelled out loud.

Morgan jerked upright when he heard his full name and he looked around quickly, for a moment he thought his mother was really here. Then he realized it was his Pen and he sighed.

Dave arched an eyebrow at him, "She got your number, don't she?"

Morgan buried his face in his hands, "You have no idea, man. I hate doing dishes."

"Cornelius?" Dave asked with a chuckle.

Morgan looked at Dave, "I'm named after my dad's favorite football player, Cornelius Bennet."

"Oh! He used to play for the New York Giants," Dave nodded.

"FOOTBALL? You guys are talking about FOOTBALL NOW? Let me tell you… Ohh Shit! This is not going to fucking work! OH MY GOD! Get the kid out! JJ, where's the damn fucking scalpel? I'll get this kid out myself! There's got to be one around here! OHHhhh!

Damn you AaronHotchner!"

"Geez, is she having a baby or an elephant?" the LEO called out. "She sure can cuss like a sailor! I have had men in here that can cuss but this lady here out-cussed them! I never knew you can turn a given name into a cuss word?" he nudged his chin toward the phone.

Hotch blushed again. This is not happening to me!

"Look, my fiancé is having this baby right now; surely you can let us go? I'm going to be a dad."

The LEO shook his head, "No can do, boys. Rules are rules and besides, Judge Morrow is the one who decides what is what and right now, he's at the hospital. His daughter is having a baby too. And since he's not available, my hands are tied."

"That's just great. Real great," Hotch closed his eyes in defeat.

"Oh my god, Aaron! This is so not happening! Please…" Hotch's heart constricted when he heard her plaintive plea and he felt all the worst part of a heel; he should be there with her, holding her hand and helping her through this!

"Sweetheart…we can't. I'm er, stuck and won't be ou…I mean back until after 10am and…and you're about to deliver our baby…and…and I can't see how!" Hotch urged.

"Stuck? Stuck? Let me tell you about stuck, buster! This kid is stuck in between my legs and if she comes out entirely before we say 'I do', her last name will not be Hotchner!"

Morgan and Dave stared at each other wide eyed and speechless; they believed that she would carry out her threat!

Hotch, his face paler than before, was desperately trying to figure a way when he looked up and saw the Lieutenant grinning at him; evidently, he had heard the last part as well. But Hotch was not paying attention to the man's grin, instead a pair of cymbals clashed painfully together in his head. As the clanging noise slowly dissipated, he was hit again but this time it was not the incessant noise.

Calling to the LEO, "Lieutenant, didn't you say the judge is at the hospital?"

So…Like? Don't like? Let me know!

One more part to go!

Thank you

Lizzie