Title: Not Okay
Author: Ihave207Bones, SplishySplash
Pairing: Tony/Ziva
Rating: K
Spoiler: Up to season 7
Summary: Tony is really sick, now it's Ziva's turn to see what Kate went through during S.W.A.K.
It had been over an hour.
Since she had heard his voice, since he was conscious and full of life. Since she saved his life and they hadn't heard anything about his condition from the doctors.
Gibbs and McGee led her from the view of the giant glass box that held her partner and she did all she could do to stay on her feet. Ziva collapsed against the wall and slid to the floor slowly, burying her face into her knees and breathing heavily, forcing herself to remain in control of her emotions. His situation was not something that she did, was it?
She knew she would have to explain her actions, how she knew to give him the right drug to stop his convulsions or how she knew how to intubate properly, but she didn't want to. Gibbs was being patient with her, but it wouldn't last long until his curiosity got the best of him and she was interrogated by him. She closed her eyes against her knees and her breathing slowed to normal, it wasn't something she had did, the seizure had to have been caused by something he was given right before the seizure. A reaction to a steroid maybe?
Ziva felt a warm arm pull her against a strong, solid chest and knew from the familiarity of the arm and the smell of coffee that it was her boss that had gathered her into his arms. She hated this feeling, the feeling of uselessness and weakness that was swallowing her whole and yet she didn't move as he gave instructions to McGee, leaving the two of them in the hallway alone and she had long lost interest where Ducky and Palmer had disappeared to.
She gathered her thoughts and looked to what she knew: Tony had never stopped breathing last time he was in this situation, but this time he didn't really have the plague only pneumonia. The cases couldn't be compared, but there must be more to do to save him.
Gibbs ran a hand through her knotted hair and only because she was so close to the man she could feel him tremble slightly, he was as human as she was and that Tony, who had been a constant in both of their lives, may not survive this. If Gibbs was worried, she was terrified.
The pair said nothing, only sitting on the floor in silence trying to be strong for the other when Doctor Pitt finally came out with a tired hand running through his sandy blonde hair, he looked to have aged ten years in the hour that he was working on Tony. He stood in front of him, his normally strait posture was slacked and waited for a moment before Gibbs looked up. "He's stable and we were able to remove the breathing tube."
"Is he conscious?" Gibbs asked and Ziva didn't move, her face still buried into her knees.
Dr. Pitt shook his head negatively. "He won't be awake for awhile, the Ativan that Ms. David gave him will knock him out for awhile." He said, hoping to get an insight on Ziva's actions in the box, she gave him nothing. "But the good thing is that we were able to give him a strong medication, so he should be on his way to recovery."
"What caused the seizures?" Gibbs asked.
He sighed heavily and rubbed away the headache with his fingers. "It was a reaction to a very high dose of a steroid that was given to him." He said grimly. "But the good news is that there shouldn't be any side effects from the steroids or the seizure."
Ziva looked up and her glare was lethal as she got to her feet. "Shouldn't be any side effects?" She repeated, even using a contraction in her mocking. Tony would've been proud. "You do realize the dose to induce a seizure is well over double the normal dose one would give to a pneumonia patient?"
"We are looking into. . ." Dr. Pitt tried to explain before Ziva exploded.
"Looking into it? He could've been killed!" She roared and took a step forward Gibbs placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her at bay. "He would have suffocated if Jimmy and I were not in the box with him to intubate him. . ."
This time he interrupted her. "Do you understand the damage you could have caused if you intubated him wrong? It's not like they do it on TV, it is a very dangerous procedure. You could've put him into a coma if you overdosed him on Ativan."
She shook her head and her glare grew darker as she escaped the grips of the older man and grabbed the lapels of the white jacket, pinning him to the wall with her arm fastened over his airway. "You do not think I do not know that?" She snarled lowly. "I did what I had to do to save his life because of the incompetency of the staff at this hospital who put him in that situation in the first place."Her name was being called from behind her and it wasn't until she was being physically pulled away from him that she recognized Gibbs calling her name and they weren't alone, but she still stood her ground. They were surrounded by her stunned coworkers and security with their hands on their holsters awaiting the situation to get out of control. "If something happens to him, I will. . ."
"Ziva let him go." Gibbs said sternly into her ear, he didn't need one agent in a hospital bed and another in jail. She continued to glare and her grip tightened as her arm pressed down on his airway as the man started to cough. "Ziva."
She released her grip and he fell on to the floor before walking away in a huff. Gibbs extended his hand to the doctor and helped him to his feet as he realized just how surrounded they were, Abby, McGee, Ducky and Palmer had seen Ziva's display at power, something she tried to keep under lock and key when she was around them as if to hide her much darker, more threatening side. "Is this normal for her?" The doctor asked wiping his neck.
"You better solve this before I let her kill you." Gibbs said before turning on his heels and walking after her leaving the breathless doctor with their coworkers.
When he found her he was surprised to see that she had weaseled her way next to Tony, her small hand was wove in between his long fingers. Her head was hung down and for the first time since this whole mess started she was crying, Gibbs could see the tear glistening in the black light.
He stood behind her with his arms folded as he waited for her to compose herself. She shook her head when she heard his shoes squeak against the linoleum and a sob escaped her lips. "I am not going to apologize for that." She said to Tony.
"I don't expect you to." He said, not moving from behind her.
Ziva released one of Tony's hands and wiped an angry tear from her face. "I do not know what you want me to say." She said after a long moment of silence.
Gibbs only shrugged and turned his attention to their joined hands and her gaze turned to him. "You don't have to say anything." He said patiently. "To me anyway."
She turned around more fully with a raised brow. "What?" She asked in a whisper. He placed a hand on her shoulder as the monitor next to them started to scream. She turned her attention back to Tony and the monitor, his heart beat raced on the monitor. "He is waking up."
His eyes opened and he looked around the room panicked. "Kate?" He said hoarsely, leaning up slightly to find the dark haired woman who shared the box with him. When she was nowhere in sight, he looked towards Ziva and his face showed no recognition until he looked to Gibb. "Boss, where is Kate?"
