Stiles-

I have never been so unable to resist an urge in my life.

I just fucked Derek.

Derek Hale just fucked me.

And I loved every second of it.

My mind is a swirling mess as I hurry out of the loft. I shut the door quickly so I won't be followed (hopefully) and practically run to my Jeep. I have to sit for a few minutes just to calm down enough to drive. My thoughts are crashing around my head like a derailed train, causing me to hold my head in my hands and do some deep breathing to relax. Why did I do all of that? Granted, I've thought about guys a few times before, but never like that. That was something different. Carnal, animalistic, pure sexual need. I couldn't have resisted it if I tried.

I start my Jeep and look back up at the loft and shudder when I see two red eyes staring at me from the window.

It wasn't a shudder of fear.

I start to feel that feeling again, pinching deep inside me. Shifting into drive, I take off for home.

Mom is the focus of my dream tonight again. Except in this one she's sick. Dad and I are at the hospital, saying our goodbyes again. She smiles gently and stares into my eyes as I look back into hers, bloodshot and tired and slowly closing. Tears are flowing down my face as I whisper "I love you" over and over, wishing it could bring her back as the monitor flatlines and wakes me up, still sobbing. I hate that dream so much.

Looking at my phone, I see it's only 3:15am so I roll over and attempt to control my emotions so I can sleep again. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder and I stiffen, fear taking over my whole body.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Stiles."

I recognize that voice. And that smell.

"Derek, what are you doing in my room at 3 in the morning?"

I turn my tear-streaked face to look over at him. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, taking off his shoes with one hand and holding my shoulder with the other. "And why are you taking off your shoes?"

"Just shut up Stiles."

I feel him lift the covers and slide in bed behind me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me to him. I stiffen at first, still feeling wary after the events of earlier in the night but as he nestled his nose into the side of my neck I melt and let my emotions get the best of me. He doesn't say a word as I cry, just holds me close as sobs wrack my body and we drift off to sleep like that, warm and connected.

Derek-

I never thought I would feel so much for this kid.

Of course I'll never show it, but my heart hurts to watch him cry in his sleep. I don't know what happened tonight, and I know I should give him some space after all of it, but I needed to figure out what's going on with me. So here I sit again, perched outside Stiles' window, watching him sleep.

When he lets out a particularly loud sob I decide I can't stay out here anymore. Quietly, I push his window up and enter the small opening as softly as I can. Once I have both feet on the ground, I slowly shut the window and walk over by his computer desk to watch him. He grabs a fistful of sheets and pulls them up right underneath his chin, and I watch a little drip of snot run down his nose. Leave it to Stiles to make snot look innocent and cute.

After about fifteen minutes I hear his heartbeat start to accelerate, so I know he'll be waking up soon. I scoot back into the corner and watch as he takes a deep breath of air and opens his eyes. He can't see me in the darkness which I'm thankful for, but I can see him. I watch him check his phone and start crying harder but silently, no doubt for the benefit of his father. He's always looking out for everyone around him, something I've admired about him since Day 1.

He flips over and I watch as his body shakes with his silent sobs. Without thinking, I silently walk over and put my hand on the kid's shoulder from behind. I feel his whole body stiffen as the smell of adrenaline floods his system.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Stiles."

"Derek, what are you doing in my room at 3 in the morning?"

I sit on the edge of his bed and begin to remove my shoes as he turns back to look at me.

"And why are you taking off your shoes?"

I finish with my second shoe. "Just shut up Stiles."

I have no idea what I'm doing as I lift the covers from his bed and reach out for his body. Finding his midsection, I pull him back into me and fit our bodies completely together. He stiffens for a second, but I rest my face in his neck and almost immediately I felt him relax and begin to silently cry again. I hold him tight, comforting him through his sobs until I feel his heartbeat finally begin to slow and his breathing relax as he drifted back to sleep.

Holding this crying boy wasn't how I planned this thing to go, but the amount of emotion I felt at his pain was staggering. Laying here with him sleeping, I realize that I don't really mind doing it. It feels right. I know that all I want to do is keep this vulnerable boy from feeling pain, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make him feel safe. I close my eyes and focus on the sound of his steady heartbeat as I drift out of consciousness and into a dreamless sleep.