Ch 4 Memories
Leo walked into his room and began lighting candles. He got into his meditative pose, kneeling on his tatami mat and closed his eyes. He began to breath deeply and tried to calm himself. He tried to empty his mind and focus on letting everything go. Unfortunately, that was easier said then done. After several minutes of attempting to meditate Leo started getting frustrated. He couldn't stop thinking about the battle, about what Raph and Splinter had said to him. About the looks everyone had given him. About Mikey being injured.
Every time he closed his eyes, all the memories came flooding back at him. He adjusted his position to try and find one that would allow him to concentrate but so far it was useless. He huffed and sighed and clenched his fist. He crossed his legs and then put them underneath him. Nothing seemed to work. Finally, after nearly and hour, Leo stood up and went over to his desk. He opened the middle drawer and moved some papers to the side. There, underneath those papers was a tanto blade. He sat on his bed and stared down it, remembering the time he first got the blade.
"Oh Karai," He moaned. "If only I could find a way to help you."
He remembered the day he and Karai had first met. He remembered how he got the tanto blade, on the rooftop of the Biarly building, where she had 'rescued' him from Snakeweed. He ran his hand along the hilt as he thought about that battle and all the other encounters they had since. He had know there was good in her and he was right. He took a shuddering breath as he remembered the many fights he and Raph had because of her.
The memory he kept coming back to was the one where they finally had managed to rescue her from Shredder and got her back to the lair. He loved seeing her walk over to Splinter and wrap her arms around her father. He loved seeing his father's look as she leaned into him and how he finally got to hold his child for the first time in almost sixteen years. Yes, that was his favorite memory, and the last real happy memory he had of Karai that made everything feel like his family had been complete. If only she had not run off that night to confront Shredder. If only she allowed him to go with her. Or maybe if he had just followed her. So many times he had gone over that night in his head. The what if's were countless sometimes. Leo took a deep breath as he remembered that fateful night all those months ago. Finally, through sheer exhaustion, Leo laid on his bed with the blade in his hands and let the tears fall.
He cried for a short time, letting the ache in his heart be washed away with the tears. Eventually he rolled unto his side and looked at his clock. It was getting close to one in the morning. He needed to try and sleep. Soon another day would start and he would find a way to make amends. He placed the blade under his pillow and tried to close his eyes and sleep but the memories continued to haunt him. He rolled from one side to another trying once again to find a comfortable position but to no avail. This went on for over an hour before he finally sat up and decided to go for a run topside. The clock now showed ten minutes to three. Maybe he would not get sleep but some fresh air may at least help him figure out what to do so he could face his family with a little more confidence.
He stepped out of his room and was just about to walk to the entrance of the lair when he decided he would first stop by the lab. As he walked in, he saw Donnie with his head in his arms turned so that Leo could only see the back of his head. He was asleep by his laptop and his soft snores made a light whistling sound due to the gab in his teeth. Leo smiled and took a blanket from a shelf and placed it over Donnie's shoulders gently enough so as not to wake him.
Then Leo looked over to the cot where Mikey laid. Leo felt his heart skip a beat as he peered over to look at his brother.
"Oh Mikey," Leo said quietly to himself. "I'm so sorry."
Mikey looked so pale and the bandages that wrapped around his shoulder and chest had a slight tint of blood. But Leo did notice that Mikey was sleeping and it seemed to be a restful sleep.
"Sleep well Mikey," Leo said softly. "I'll see you when you wake up."
He tucked the blankets carefully around Mikey's shoulders and then crept out of the lab. He took one look around and then silently walked out of the lair.
