CHAPTER 4
notes at the end of the chapter.
Rey only talked to Kylo for ten minutes. She still felt weird calling him by his new name.
He had still been at the office. Even though she still felt angry deep inside about the way he had treated and threatened her earlier, she told him that she had made her decision about letting him see his daughter. They agreed to meet up on the next day, in the coffee shop in the heart of the city. Kylo would come to pick her up in her lunch break and they would drive to town together. She had declined his offer at first, saying she could drive by herself there, but he persisted on him coming to the Inn and picking her up. Rey did nor have the strength nor the need to fight about such an insignificant thing, so she gave in. He had hung up quickly after that, saying he had to finish his work.
Rey felt as if she had run several miles after the call. Her palms were sweaty, her head was throbbing and her heart was beating in that fast pace again, that it had already did when she had fought with Kylo.
Sitting on her bed, she texted one of the mothers of Ivys friends of preschool if she could pick her up tomorrow and apologized that it was at such short notice. Thankfully she did not mind.
Once again she went back into Ivys room seeing that her daughter had completely changed her sleeping position. She was lying on her side, her legs stretched and her little arms pulling her blanket closer to her. The view of her daughter calmed her, so much that her heart slowly began to beat in a normal pace again.
When she went back to her room and laid in her bed, she had almost convinced herself that she had made the right decision. Getting into a custody battle would harm Ivy more than meeting her father, Rey told herself once again before she felt the exhaustion of the day wash over her and drifted off to sleep.
She woke up early in the morning, even earlier than Ivy did, after some hours of sleep. The sun was starting to rise and turning the white color of her walls into a dark orange. With a sigh Rey got up. She opened the window she had left closed for the night, because of the cold weather outside and breathed in the crisp November air. Trying to ignore the nausea and excitement that reeked havoc in the pit of her stomach, she waited for the cold air to replace the thick, warm air that had accumulated over night in her room.
After putting on a pair of dark blue jeans and an off-white colored sweater, she went into the kitchen and prepared breakfast for Ivy. Rey would not talk of herself as a good cook, but she still managed to cook pancakes shaped like Mickie Mouse and was pretty proud of that ability. She woke Ivy up after she had finished preparing breakfast and watched her daughter jump with excitement as she looked on her plate. While Ivy devoured roughly four pancakes, Rey only managed to get one of them down. She had tried to listen to the things her daughter had tried to tell her, something about horses and princesses, but she did not remember anything about it when she walked down the stairs to the reception area.
She had quickly talked to Poe, telling him she decided to meet up with Kylo in her lunch break, while her daughter played with her toy on the orange couch, unaware of the changes the day would certainly bring. Before Rey left Ivys preschool she hugged her daughter tight, tighter than usual, telling her how much she loved her.
The hours at work went by fast, almost too fast for Reys taste. Poe had told her everything about his date with Finn, what he liked about him and had beamed all the way through it. It made Rey happy to seem him like this, excited and joyful, so that the nausea which had plaguing her since the early morning hours disappeared for some time.
He had asked her once after she came back from preschool if she wanted to talk about Kylo, but she quickly denied it. He promised her again that he would have her back no matter what would happen in the next hours.
Rey was thankful for that. Poe was the first real friend she did ever have, after years of being neglected by her foster families and the bad relationship she had with Kylo. It took her some time to get used to him caring about her and later caring about Ivy, but gladly she did in the end.
She was just talking to a former guest who wanted to book a room for yet another visit, as the main door opened and Kylo stepped in. Rey in- and exhaled deeply, before telling the customer that everything would be ready for his visit and signaling her ex-boyfriend that she would be ready in some minutes. He understood her gesture and nodded, the snowflakes in his hair and on his shoulder contrasting his black coat. He seemed out of place, too tall and too dark, as he wandered around in the small reception area which was painted in the light color beige.
Rey quickly wrote Poe a note saying she would try to come as soon as possible and put on her jacket which was hanging over the chair behind her, before she went up to Kylo.
She recognized that he still seemed tense, but not as tense as he did when he first came to the Inn. The dark shadows under his eyes gave away that he did not get much of a goodnights rest as well.
"Are you ready?", he asked, looking down at her. Rey simply nodded. From the library echoed the laughter of some guest through the room and followed them as they went up to the door. Kylo had reached the handle before she did, holding the heavy wooden door open for her. Rey knew she was blushing, caught off guard by his gesture and quickly looked away.
His whole car smelled exactly like Kylo, minty and fresh with a slight undertone of cedar wood. She had always liked it.
"You've made the right decision, Rey", stated Kylo as he started his car, breaking the awkward silence, that had stayed with them from the moment they had exited the Inn until they had gotten into the car.
"I know", answered Rey, her eyes glued on the road.
She felt uncomfortable sitting so close to him, even if it was for a couple of minutes. He, on the other hand, was better at hiding the way he was feeling behind a mask of an emotionless expression, racing his way into the city and cutting of other cars in the process in a way that made Rey gasp several times.
He opened the door to the coffee shop for her again. This time Rey expected it, saying a quick "thank you" as she entered the crowded room. It was no sign of affection, more one of the good manners, he had been taught.
Nothing had changed in the "Café Continental". In three of the four walls were windows built in, that matched the length of the wall and let the sunlight flood the room. The counter was made of dark wood and in the display next to it stood the best cakes in the city. The wall behind it was painted bright orange with white dots.
As they walked through the coffee shop to one of the free tables next to the big windows, Rey did realize how everyone was staring at Kylo and her. His dark clothes did not match the friendly atmosphere of the coffee shop and attracted attention. There were mainly students from the university a few streets away from here sitting in the dark wooden chairs and bright orange couches, but they all wore big sweater, leggings or a pair of washed up jeans.
It reminded her of the time she had met Kylo here for the first time.
It had been a hot August morning. The city was buzzing with people. She had just finished school and was running from one job interview to another, so that she would finally be able to afford her own place. She still knew how tired she had felt and how shitty she must have looked coming back from yet another unsuccessful job interview, desperate for caffeine to wake her up again. Kylo had ordered before she did, but she did not hear it. He stood a few steps away from the counter, so that she did not see him at all or ignored him, while she desperately waited for the barista to finish her coffee. She had grabbed the first cup, the barista had put on the counter, not seeing the name written on it.
The moment she had wanted to cross street next to the "Café Continental" and had nearly finished the coffee she heard someone call her name. Bewildered she had turned around, just to see Kylo, when his name was still Ben come toward her, a shy grin on his face. She did not remember what he wore on that day, she just knew that it had not been something black. He did have something about him, which had intrigued Rey from the first moment she had met him. Maybe his dark eyes, or the hair that was not completely tamed as it is now, but had looked more tousled.
"I think you took my coffee", he had said, pointing to the name on the cup she was holding. Rey had apologized for the mistake, offering to give him back his money, but he politely declined. Just as she had begun to walk away, he had called her name again and made her promise to meet him the next morning at the "Café Continental". She did.
"Rey", Kylos voice woke her up from her daydreams, "do you want something else other than coffee?".
"No", she said quickly. He put his coat over one of the two chairs standing at the table, before he went up to the counter. Rey watched him from behind after she had sat down and had taken off her jacket as well. It surprised her that he did not wear his suit today, but a pair of dark jeans and a long-sleeved dark grey shirt. Not seeing him in his work attire made her feel a little bit more comfortable.
She must have stared at him, recognizing the way his muscles moved under the tight shirt, because he turned his head and looked directly into her eyes. His gaze was intense, making Rey feel a shiver down her spine and then quickly looking away. She waited to look up until he returned, holding two steaming hot cups of coffee and she was sure the pink color on her cheeks had vanished.
He did even drink his coffee black, other than Rey who always put cream and at least three spoons of sugar in it, after she had been pregnant with Ivy.
The coffee was still too hot to drink it, so Rey put her hands around the cup and let the warmth radiate on her skin. After some time, she felt Kylos gaze on her.
"You said you wanted to talk", he started with no sign of kindness in his voice, while he kept looking at her, "start talking then".
"Yes", Rey straightened herself up, while trying not to be intimidated by him. His face had lost even the little bits of softness, that were still there five years ago. His facial features were hard, with an expression in his eyes that was as cold as it had been when he had come to the "Resistance Inn" for the first time. The way his hair was tousled after he had ran his hand through them to get the snowflakes out, reminded Rey of the Ben she once knew. He was still handsome.
"You can see Ivy", Rey started, "but under my conditions".
She took a deep breath, trying to calm her pounding heart.
"Her name's Ivy?".
"Yes", Rey answered, "I liked that name. I still do. It fits her".
"That's great if you like it", he sneered, stirring his coffee.
"What would you have wanted to name her?", she curiously asked him for his answer, as he was so openly disapproving of the name.
"Oh, the name is fine", he took a sip of his coffee, "I just think I'd like it better, if we had discussed it before".
"If you want an apology for me not telling you about the pregnancy, it's not going to happen. I had my reasons and it was the right decision for me", she blurted out.
"I know that you think that it was the right decision for you, Rey, you made that very clear".
Rey closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath, feeling the anger rise in her chest again. She reminded herself again that she did not came here to fight with him.
"Maybe it wasn't fair", she began, beginning to get more nervous and fiddling at her sweater, "but I can't change it and we're here now for Ivys wellbeing. I want her to have a great childhood. You say you are her father, that you have responsibilities, so you should want that to. It doesn't help if you hold this grudge against me and outlive it in front of her. Kids can sense bad feelings".
Kylo looked at her, silently, before he nodded. Rey recognized something flickering behind his eyes for such a short time, she nearly missed it. It looked like a mixture of sadness and anger taking control over him for a brief moment, before he was able to gain back his composure.
"That is the main point of my conditions. I want us to act civil around Ivy. She needs to know that we don't hate each other. You can have her from Friday to Sunday, I'll have her from Monday to Friday evening. I'd like to change the schedule every two weeks, so that I'll have some free time at the weekend too", Rey took a sip from her coffee, nearly burning her lips, "if you have her, I want you to have time for her. She is only three, she needs some time to get to know you and that can't happen if you're working all the time. Besides that, she needs all your attention, because little children quickly hurt themselves or eat things they shouldn't if you don't keep an eye on them. If, I mean, when she visits you, she needs to have her own room. She doesn't like the darkness, so you'll need to buy something like fairy lights for her to prevent her from having bad dreams".
Rey had a habit of talking to fast when she was overly excited or nervous, so she had to slow herself down.
"I understand", Kylo says calmly, typing the things she had said in his phone. Even the large phone seemed small in his hands: "my apartment has two rooms, so that won't be a problem. I'll buy furniture for the room in the next days".
"I'm not finished yet", said Rey, "do you have a girlfriend?".
Kylo shook his head. That's what she had expected. Where would he have time for a girlfriend beside his work. He did not have time for her four years ago.
"If you have Ivy, I don't want that you present her to any girl that came over once. If our daughter meets someone, she gets attached very quickly. I don't want her to be heartbroken, when something doesn't work out".
"That's reasonable", Kylo looked into her eyes again, waiting a few seconds before he asked Rey, "but did you follow the same rule with your boyfriend?".
"My what?".
"The guy at the Inn. He seemed as if he had the urgent need to protect you from anything evil in this world. Small, but he acted like a tough guy", Kylo seemed dead serious, even though his voice was practically dripping with sarcasm.
"You didn't think Poe was my boyfriend, did you?", she said, amused by the thought "I'm not really his type, but you might be".
"What?".
"He's gay. My best friend, not my boyfriend".
"Oh".
There was a moment of silence between them. Rey looked though the Café. The attention of the other guests had shifted from Kylo, back to the people next to them. She did not like being alone, but prefered it if a room was full of people. After years in which she had been abandoned by her foster families and having no one to really talk to, she loved listening to the nuzzled voices in the Café. The sunlight shone through the window, making the wall behind the counter look like a burning fire.
"I respect your conditions. I have some myself", he put his phone down and cleared his throat, before he began to speak again, "I want her to transfer from a public preschool to a private one. She'll get the best education there and will be prepared for the private school she'll go to later".
"No. I went to a public school and it didn't harm me", Rey said, "I don't want her to grow up thinking she's blue-blooded and therefore better than others, just because she had gone to a private school. She has friends there, you know".
"I do know that, but I want my child to get the best education possible and that's only the case there. She won't lose her friends by going to a better school".
It still felt weird for Rey hearing Kylo call Ivy "my child". She had no other choice but trying to accustom herself to it sooner or later.
"I don't have the money to pay for her education".
"I would pay for everything", he declared.
"I'm paying you one half back", she insisted, wiping her damp hands on her jeans.
"I don't need your money", he said, a slight tone of arrogance accompanying his voice. She did not want his money. She did not want him to pay for anything.
"I'll pay you back", she repeated determined. She really wanted to continue fighting him on that matter so badly, but she suppressed her anger, knowing he still had the upper hand. To stop herself from talking, she bit her tongue. He was civil with her, but when she remembered the way he had talked to her yesterday, how he had threatened to take Ivy away from her, she knew how fast he could flip. The thought intimidated her.
If their talk would have only been about them, about their relationship, she would have been more daring, fighting for her opinion. But she was protecting her daughter and therefore she needed to make sacrifices.
"We'll talk about that again", he brushed the topic off, seemingly starting to get annoyed by her being so persistent, "I want to be involved in Ivys life. If you need to make a decision about anything concerning our daughter, you talk to me about it, no matter how unimportant it might seem to you".
Rey pushed one streak of brown hair back behind her ear and sighed. There was nothing else to read in his face, but his determination to push through all his conditions. She nodded. Adjusting to co-parenting would be hard for her. She was used to making decision concerning herself or Ivy independently, not having to ask someone else for approval of her actions.
"I want us to eat dinner together on Sundays", he continued.
"What?", Rey nearly choked on her coffee.
"I think you understood what I said", Kylo looked directly into her eyes, "I know we aren't together, but I still want to know what is going on in your life, for Ivys sake. If you're stressed or unhappy, she might be as well".
"But can't I just call you?", Rey asked hesitantly. He had caught her off-guard with his demand.
"No, Ivy needs to see that we can act civil around each other, you said that yourself. Both of us will do so on these days".
His facial expression and the tone of his voice left no room for her to protest.
I only changed some things I didn't like, so this is a re-upload.
I don't know if I'll be able to post a new chapter tomorrow, but I'll update before Saturday for sure! :)
Thanks for the favs + comments! :)
